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Let's have a funny story. 16:06 - Mar 21 with 4015 viewsLord_Lucan

I'm fed up with all things ITFC so let's have some funny story memory's.

The one that sticks out for me was back in the early 80's

We were having a house party (Actually it was an eviction party as my mate was getting thrown out) Now there used to be a bit of an odd bod that used to walk about town in a string vest whatever the weather, it could be arctic conditions and Vestie (as we named him) would be strutting through town.

Anyhoo, oddbod vestie for whatever reason gatecrashed the party and just stood in the hall drinking a cocktail of turps and cider.

The party got a bit out of hand and the police turned up - about 15 of them -..

Vestie must have creeped into a bedroom at some point and lifted a load of porn mags as when the first copper came in he handed him a Mayfair mag and said "Would you like a program sir"? Thereafter every copper that busted through the door encountered Vestie saying "Program", "Program"

I think that is my top of the pops.

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Let's have a funny story. on 16:24 - Mar 21 with 3950 viewsPendejo

Was he the fella who sold the Evening Star outside the Sainsburys opposite The Plough?

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Let's have a funny story. on 16:26 - Mar 21 with 3930 viewsLord_Lucan

Let's have a funny story. on 16:24 - Mar 21 by Pendejo

Was he the fella who sold the Evening Star outside the Sainsburys opposite The Plough?


Ah, must admit that rings a bell.

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Let's have a funny story. on 16:27 - Mar 21 with 3925 viewsJoey_Joe_Joe_Junior

What's the theme of these stories, I have loads.
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Let's have a funny story. on 16:43 - Mar 21 with 3879 viewsbluelagos

Let's have a funny story. on 16:27 - Mar 21 by Joey_Joe_Joe_Junior

What's the theme of these stories, I have loads.


Porn.

When working in Germany, the hotel used to have a 3 minute free time on the pay per view movies, then you were automatically billed. At dinner, whenever anyone went to bed early, the standard joke was to "be quick" as you've only got 3 mins (one of the channels being German porn)

One week I checked out as usual Friday morning (Company paid for everything except movies) and was behind a colleague who was a bit miffed to be asked to pay 105 marks, and when he queried, the receptionist said in perfect English "Pay per view movie, 5 times Sir"

Seeing me giggling behind him in the queue, he said "Best keep this to ourselves". "Of course" I replied.

Next team meeting, we had the senior partner present him with a 3 minute egg timer :-)

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Let's have a funny story. on 16:50 - Mar 21 with 3825 viewsmonytowbray

Lucan's Funny Stories. I wonder who got the power pack?

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Let's have a funny story. on 17:19 - Mar 21 with 3770 viewsLord_Lucan

Let's have a funny story. on 16:50 - Mar 21 by monytowbray

Lucan's Funny Stories. I wonder who got the power pack?


Ha ha. What a great line that was.

I wonder who got the Power pack. Still makes me giggle.

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Let's have a funny story. on 17:51 - Mar 21 with 3735 viewsIllinoisblue

Let's have a funny story. on 16:24 - Mar 21 by Pendejo

Was he the fella who sold the Evening Star outside the Sainsburys opposite The Plough?


yes, remember him. Used to shout "Star, Star," over and over in a gruff voice.

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Let's have a funny story. on 17:55 - Mar 21 with 3708 viewsgainsboroughblue

Let's have a funny story. on 17:51 - Mar 21 by Illinoisblue

yes, remember him. Used to shout "Star, Star," over and over in a gruff voice.


And used to 'see the buses out' at Cattle Market. None of the drivers took a blind bit of notice of him.

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Let's have a funny story. on 18:19 - Mar 21 with 3679 viewsThePitBoss

Let's have a funny story. on 17:55 - Mar 21 by gainsboroughblue

And used to 'see the buses out' at Cattle Market. None of the drivers took a blind bit of notice of him.


Is he still alive? I remember him running out in front of the buses too.
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Let's have a funny story. on 19:54 - Mar 21 with 3600 viewsLord_Lucan

Let's have a funny story. on 17:55 - Mar 21 by gainsboroughblue

And used to 'see the buses out' at Cattle Market. None of the drivers took a blind bit of notice of him.


I just got a text out of the blue from a mate that obviously looks at this site but doesn't post.

He corrected me and looking back he is right. We renamed him "Pants" as when he was dishing out programs to the Old Bill he was resplendent in a string vest and a pair of sky blue Y fronts.

I am pissing myself laughing as I recall this.

“Hello, I'm your MP. Actually I'm not. I'm your candidate. Gosh.” Boris Johnson canvassing in Henley, 2005.
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Let's have a funny story. on 08:20 - Mar 22 with 3446 viewsitfcjoe

Let's have a funny story. on 16:43 - Mar 21 by bluelagos

Porn.

When working in Germany, the hotel used to have a 3 minute free time on the pay per view movies, then you were automatically billed. At dinner, whenever anyone went to bed early, the standard joke was to "be quick" as you've only got 3 mins (one of the channels being German porn)

One week I checked out as usual Friday morning (Company paid for everything except movies) and was behind a colleague who was a bit miffed to be asked to pay 105 marks, and when he queried, the receptionist said in perfect English "Pay per view movie, 5 times Sir"

Seeing me giggling behind him in the queue, he said "Best keep this to ourselves". "Of course" I replied.

Next team meeting, we had the senior partner present him with a 3 minute egg timer :-)


I went on a school trip to Berlin in about Year 10 or 11, the school requested that all porn channels were turned off and hotel confirmed that this had happened and they weren't accessible.

Obviously being 15-16 year old boys, the first thing we did was try them as we got to our room and they all worked and we watched over the course of the 3 nights, what we assumed was free porn.

It came to checking out as the school package, and nearly every room had a 60DM bill for porn, and most paid it, but I decided to dig my heels in and get my room mate to do the same and flat out deny we were watching it. He was a bit of a loser so teachers believed us.

They gave a list of times and days when we were watching it and the first one clashed with a trip that we had to Checkpoint Charlie so I was able to get the teacher's to believe us that we hadn't watched.

Hotel wouldn't budge, so my school paid the porn bill for us which was quite satisfying!

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Let's have a funny story. on 16:59 - Mar 22 with 3318 viewsLord_Lucan

Let's have a funny story. on 17:55 - Mar 21 by gainsboroughblue

And used to 'see the buses out' at Cattle Market. None of the drivers took a blind bit of notice of him.


I was talking to a bloke in the pub some time back and we were swapping "local characters", he was from Norwich. I mentioned to him that I was aware of puppet man but he said that the best one was Marigold who used to direct traffic whilst wearing Marigolds.

Anyhoo, most people just ignored him and waved but one bloke fell for it and drove his arctic into some crazy dead end and got stuck.

http://www.edp24.co.uk/news/he_lived_a_rough_life_but_still_came_up_smiling_daug

Incidentally puppet man announced his retirement and all the market stall holders had a whip round and raised a couple of hundred quid. Puppet man moved to Yarmouth but didn't like it so was back in Norwich again the following week - £200 lighter

“Hello, I'm your MP. Actually I'm not. I'm your candidate. Gosh.” Boris Johnson canvassing in Henley, 2005.
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Let's have a funny story. on 17:15 - Mar 22 with 3295 viewssolemio

A true story. The 94 year old Aunt of a friend of ours died peacefully on Christmas morning. Our friend wasn't quite sure about the route to the crematorium when the time came, so she put her satnav on.

When she arrived at the crem the satnav went into her handbag. At the moment of silence when the ceremony was about to begin came loud and clear: 'You have reached your final destination.'

Luckily everyone knew that the aunt had a great sense of humour and would have thought it was great.
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Let's have a funny story. on 17:19 - Mar 22 with 3286 viewsLord_Lucan

Let's have a funny story. on 17:15 - Mar 22 by solemio

A true story. The 94 year old Aunt of a friend of ours died peacefully on Christmas morning. Our friend wasn't quite sure about the route to the crematorium when the time came, so she put her satnav on.

When she arrived at the crem the satnav went into her handbag. At the moment of silence when the ceremony was about to begin came loud and clear: 'You have reached your final destination.'

Luckily everyone knew that the aunt had a great sense of humour and would have thought it was great.


That sounds great.

Not as funny (unless you knew the characters involved) but my mates extremely racist father in law was getting buried and the service bloke was a black man. Half the family thought it was funny but some tried to stop the service. By all accounts it was absolute chaos.

“Hello, I'm your MP. Actually I'm not. I'm your candidate. Gosh.” Boris Johnson canvassing in Henley, 2005.
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Let's have a funny story. on 18:33 - Mar 22 with 3221 viewssolemio

Let's have a funny story. on 17:19 - Mar 22 by Lord_Lucan

That sounds great.

Not as funny (unless you knew the characters involved) but my mates extremely racist father in law was getting buried and the service bloke was a black man. Half the family thought it was funny but some tried to stop the service. By all accounts it was absolute chaos.


Blimey!!
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Let's have a funny story. on 23:57 - Mar 22 with 3142 viewsMelford

I had a girlfriend at uni, who despite my caner lifestyle I'd manage to convince her I didn't do that kind of thing. We had a massive house party planned and I was going to get right on it so I told her I was going away for the weekend. When she walks into town from where she lived it passes down the top of my road, she saw all the cars parked out the front and people sat in the front garden, went to see what was happening and started having a go at my housemates for organizing a big party on the weekend I had gone home. Some genius said "don't know what you're on about love, Melford's upstairs pilling his nut off", she confronted me on the landing dressed in nothing but a pair of swimming trunks and a high-visiblity vest, chest smeared with Vicks Vapour Rub, blowing a whistle. I must just say the house was absolutely packed, it wasn't me dancing around on my own. That's the last time I ever saw her.

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Let's have a funny story. on 00:22 - Mar 23 with 3083 viewsStNeotsBlue

Early 90's, a load of us have finished early on Friday and got down our local for a few. My mate Froggy, popped in for 1 or 2 as he was working that evening, about 8 pints later it was pointed out to Froggy that he probably ought to give work a swerve.

So he phoned the sick/excuse answer phone line with the inspired line of "Hello this is Froggy I can't attend my night shift as I've broken my leg and I'm at the hospital." We all laughed and pointed out it wasn't the best excuse as he'd raise questions when he turned up on Monday with a non-broken leg, he saw sense and promptly phoned back the answer line "Hello this is Froggy again, I've been misdiagnosed my leg is fine I've got flu".

Sadly Froggy got sacked on Monday morning .
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Let's have a funny story. on 07:11 - Mar 23 with 2950 viewsuefacup81

Let's have a funny story. on 16:50 - Mar 21 by monytowbray

Lucan's Funny Stories. I wonder who got the power pack?


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