| Step Children 20:03 - Apr 24 with 4708 views | Decoy_Octopus |
Hello, regular reader and occasional poster here. I know TWTD is a good place for advice and a vent. Well tonight I had the dreaded "you're not my real dad" from my step daughter for the first time. Me and the wife laughed it off and I put on a brave face, but secretly, deep down; I'm devastated
We've always been close. I've helped raise her since she was 4 when me and her mum, my now wife; got serious. She's now 10. Her real dad doesn't give a s**t. Has no contact and she has never mentioned him before and can't really remember him. Apparently they were talking about families at school. Anyone else had this? Feel really down about it... |  | | |  |
| Step Children on 20:41 - Apr 24 with 2246 views | J2BLUE |
| Step Children on 20:38 - Apr 24 by Decoy_Octopus |
By the way thanks for the article J2.
Keep on cooking those eggs or whatever it is you do. |
No problem.
haha will do. Look out for my new recipe... |  |
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| Step Children on 20:48 - Apr 24 with 2229 views | The_Romford_Blue |
| Step Children on 20:39 - Apr 24 by Decoy_Octopus |
Mentioned these before
A good Cheddar
Pablo
Keane was worse. |
Blimey I agree on all three
Have an arrow of appreciation |  |
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| Step Children on 20:53 - Apr 24 with 2223 views | vapour_trail |
You've got loads of good stuff on the thread already. Just know she'll likely do it again a few times.
But you'll still always be her dad. And she'll grow up knowing that. |  |
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| Step Children on 20:53 - Apr 24 with 2213 views | Decoy_Octopus |
| Step Children on 20:48 - Apr 24 by The_Romford_Blue |
Blimey I agree on all three
Have an arrow of appreciation |
Yes!
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| Step Children on 20:54 - Apr 24 with 2205 views | NewcyBlue |
| Step Children on 20:41 - Apr 24 by J2BLUE |
No problem.
haha will do. Look out for my new recipe... |
The last step of your recipe is my favourite
"Call Fire Brigade and EVACUATE" |  |
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| Step Children on 20:58 - Apr 24 with 2196 views | Decoy_Octopus |
| Step Children on 20:53 - Apr 24 by vapour_trail |
You've got loads of good stuff on the thread already. Just know she'll likely do it again a few times.
But you'll still always be her dad. And she'll grow up knowing that. |
Thanks chap. | | | |
| Step Children on 01:23 - Apr 25 with 2137 views | hoppy |
| Step Children on 20:11 - Apr 24 by The_Romford_Blue |
I guess I didn't make that saying up then
Damn. |
Was that another one of your 'inventions' that's just been shattered? |  |
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| Step Children on 01:36 - Apr 25 with 2135 views | hoppy |
| Step Children on 20:29 - Apr 24 by NewcyBlue |
Hello Decoy.
Be prepared to her your Step Daughter say that whenever she is in a mood, or you discipline her, or disagree with her.
She DOESN'T mean it. She is lashing out. She is a child.
Acknowledge your feelings, it hurts. Now move on.
Carry on being the best father figure to her that you can be.
I wish you well. |
Absolutely.
This, and a lot worse maybe, as she gets a bit older too. KJ and I have been together almost 7 years and her two boys are now 16 and 14. I've heard it quite a bit in that time, from both of them - when they've been in a mood, not got the answer they want or been disciplined. Sometimes it's been said in quite a spiteful way, but I think they both know that I've been there for them, do a lot for them and am just as proud of them as though they were my own.
That's the easiest line they've got though, if they in that moment want to try and hurt you, and sometimes it can be hard to take, but often it's the only thing they've got too, as once they've calmed down or realised they're not going to get their way, they've not really meant it.
I wish the OP all the best too. | |
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| Step Children on 06:50 - Apr 25 with 2101 views | ColchesterBlue1985 |
I've been with my partner for 3 years and she had two girls from a previous relationship who are now aged 11 and 14. I also have a 7 year old from a previous who I see regularly. Quite simply put girls are just a different beast altogether they wear their hearts on their sleeves as I like to put it and the highs are high and the lows are low. They will show me affection when there happy that my son doesn't even show me and they will shout and say the "you can't tell me off your not my dad" when they are not happy. Their dad is still a major player in their lives which is lovely but they still affectionately call me dadam (my name is Adam).
In short don't get too down by it buddy girls are just little women hence why they are such emotional figures. |  | | |
| Step Children on 08:09 - Apr 25 with 2076 views | taximan |
| Step Children on 20:05 - Apr 24 by The_Romford_Blue |
Anyone can become a father. It takes a real man to be a dad.
Respect to you sir |
definitely a jeremy kyle line !! | | | |
| Step Children on 08:33 - Apr 25 with 2052 views | The_Romford_Blue |
| Step Children on 08:09 - Apr 25 by taximan |
definitely a jeremy kyle line !! |
Far more likely Judge Rinder | |
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| Step Children on 09:01 - Apr 25 with 2038 views | Rentaghost |
I've got two step kids. One who's 20 and other 13. He had a couple of affairs behind her back in the past. Been with partner five years and superb relationship with them all. Her ex quite jealous and bad mouthing etc. Both of them call me dad for some reason and any problems in life come to me. My advice is be there no matter what and its kids testing you out at the end of the day. She loves you that's all that matters. |  |
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| Step Children on 09:31 - Apr 25 with 2020 views | Decoy_Octopus |
Thanks again all. She was in a happier mood this morning, so I've left the house a happy man. | | | |
| Step Children on 09:44 - Apr 25 with 2005 views | Swansea_Blue |
| Step Children on 20:39 - Apr 24 by Decoy_Octopus |
Mentioned these before
A good Cheddar
Pablo
Keane was worse. |
If I had an alt account, yours would be it. Good choices and welcome.
My eldest is 9 and I'm dreading the next phase. There are already signs he's becoming a stroppy teenager. Kids eh? I bet we were never like it. |  |
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| Step Children on 09:56 - Apr 25 with 1998 views | Decoy_Octopus |
| Step Children on 09:44 - Apr 25 by Swansea_Blue |
If I had an alt account, yours would be it. Good choices and welcome.
My eldest is 9 and I'm dreading the next phase. There are already signs he's becoming a stroppy teenager. Kids eh? I bet we were never like it. |
She's getting towards those teen years and whilst she's good most of the time she can have a bit of attitude if things don't go her way. It's funny sometimes she doesn't think about what she says before she strops off and I end up laughing. For example the other week I said I couldn't help her with something or I'd be late for work. She stropped off stating "yeah well how would you like it If I went out and got a job" | | | |
| Step Children on 10:01 - Apr 25 with 1988 views | Swansea_Blue |
| Step Children on 09:56 - Apr 25 by Decoy_Octopus |
She's getting towards those teen years and whilst she's good most of the time she can have a bit of attitude if things don't go her way. It's funny sometimes she doesn't think about what she says before she strops off and I end up laughing. For example the other week I said I couldn't help her with something or I'd be late for work. She stropped off stating "yeah well how would you like it If I went out and got a job" |
Now there's an idea - I wonder if I could send mine out to work in a sweatshop somewhere... 😂 | |
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| Step Children on 10:03 - Apr 25 with 1981 views | Swansea_Blue |
| Step Children on 01:36 - Apr 25 by hoppy |
Absolutely.
This, and a lot worse maybe, as she gets a bit older too. KJ and I have been together almost 7 years and her two boys are now 16 and 14. I've heard it quite a bit in that time, from both of them - when they've been in a mood, not got the answer they want or been disciplined. Sometimes it's been said in quite a spiteful way, but I think they both know that I've been there for them, do a lot for them and am just as proud of them as though they were my own.
That's the easiest line they've got though, if they in that moment want to try and hurt you, and sometimes it can be hard to take, but often it's the only thing they've got too, as once they've calmed down or realised they're not going to get their way, they've not really meant it.
I wish the OP all the best too. |
When you say "disciplined", presumably you mean subjecting them to your 'jokes'?  | |
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| Step Children on 11:16 - Apr 25 with 1938 views | hoppy |
| Step Children on 10:03 - Apr 25 by Swansea_Blue |
When you say "disciplined", presumably you mean subjecting them to your 'jokes'? |
Of course not. I'd be reported for child cruelty or have a knock on the door from social services if I did that. | |
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