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I'm not really sure how to word this post so bear with me. This place will have to do as I can at least try to get my words out slowly.
I've spent the last hour having found out pretty easily on the internet that I think I've developed that mental disorder. I've know for a while I've got a problem but didn't realise it's an actual thing. Anyway for ages now (2/3 months maybe) I've developed an uncontrollable urge to pull out my eyelashes. That sounds so weird to type down but I can't find the words to actually say something out loud so this'll have to do.
I'm literally bald in my left eye and basically bald in my right eye. Every time I am pissed off or something happens, I would pull one out. And then another. Then another. It wouldn't hurt but actually felt good when one would rip out. A slight pain but then it would just calm me down.
I can't describe how bad it makes me feel afterwards as, when I point it out as I once did to my mum, i look ridiculous. But I can't stop myself. Genuinely the urge to do it is too much. As soon as I do, I feel almost relieved and much more chilled out. Until it hits me moments later and I realise what a moron it makes me. And then at some point that hour, that day or that night, the process happens all over again.
I feel quite gutted typing this out on my phone tbh. Taken me ages to try to explain it.
I thought it was just me being weird at first. Then I couldn't stop doing it. Managed to go 2 days without like a month ago but now I think I've pulled out the stumps. Finding out tonight that it's an actual thing - and the fact that they don't just grow back - has left me feeling even worse than normal. Plus of course the eyes and eyelids constantly hurt nowadays as I'm touching them for an hour or two every Bl00dy day
I don't know why I'm saying any of this tbh. Not sure if I want advice or just to be told to man up. But I'm confused as f**k.
Posting it here because i can trust the advice of you lot whilst remaining anonymous to the majority. Pointed it out to my best mate a couple of weeks ago and he couldn't stop laughing. I probably might've too if it was the other way round as I assume he didn't realise beforehand until I pointed them out.
Anyway.. I'm going to sleep. I await the replies in the morning. Apologies for the look at me thread. My mum knows about it but I have lied loads about carrying it on and would rather tell you lot who are mostly anonymous
You need to find a way of dealing with your stress. MrsNewcy bought us both an anxiety cube thing. It is like a dice but has different things on it to fiddle with.
I think it helps with her TTM, it helps me when I am feeling a bit stressed. It just distracts me a little bit, there is like a switch type thing that clicks. The noise just distracts me.
If you need any more info send me a message, I can ask MrsNewcy stuff about it for you.
You need to find a way of dealing with your stress. MrsNewcy bought us both an anxiety cube thing. It is like a dice but has different things on it to fiddle with.
I think it helps with her TTM, it helps me when I am feeling a bit stressed. It just distracts me a little bit, there is like a switch type thing that clicks. The noise just distracts me.
If you need any more info send me a message, I can ask MrsNewcy stuff about it for you.
TTM, I assume that's what it's shortened too? Is it common then?
I was stunned to see it was a real thing and it hit me quite hard when I read that it's a diagnoses mental disorder. I always thought my mental health was quite good other than me being a bit excitable sometimes
Cheers Newcy. I will likely whatsapp you at some point soon in the next week or two
It is considered to be a form of self-harm, which in itself is usually a way of coping with negative thoughts or anxiety.
As Newcy has said, replacing the behaviour with something a little less destructive is a good starting point but it's also important to address the reasons for feeling the need to do it. That would normally start with a visit to your GP, who could make sure that, physically, there is no infection etc. and that you are referred for support for the underlying emotions.
You can also self-refer for a talking therapy assessment, which can by-pass your GP if you'd rather do that. It's fairly easy to find the service in your area with a Google search but PM me if you want me to send the web address to you, or if you want an offline chat.
Take it easy and look after yourself mate.
1
Trichotillomania on 07:03 - Apr 27 with 4714 views
You need to find a way of dealing with your stress. MrsNewcy bought us both an anxiety cube thing. It is like a dice but has different things on it to fiddle with.
I think it helps with her TTM, it helps me when I am feeling a bit stressed. It just distracts me a little bit, there is like a switch type thing that clicks. The noise just distracts me.
If you need any more info send me a message, I can ask MrsNewcy stuff about it for you.
here is my advice, worded as constructively as possible
it is my opinion that you have too much spare time in your life, the obvious solution is to get some sort of full time employment, if you don't have the qualifications to get your preferred job, then maybe an evening class after work. this lifestyle change would then impact on your sleep, in a positive way imagine this, up at 6am, work til 5pm, evening class 7 - 10, home, bed, sleep, repeat presuming it is a monday - friday job, it then gives you the weekend to look forwards to, football season nearly done but i'm sure there are other things you can do on a saturday and sunday.
i await the dreaded arrows of hate
8
Trichotillomania on 07:49 - Apr 27 with 4624 views
You've done the most important and hardest part. You've acknowledged and admitted the problem. Strikes me that the first you need do is, as others have said, is seek professional help. You are self-harming. That's not something that can be readily cured by simple lifestyle changes.
Look to identify what 'triggers' you and seek help in developing coping mechanisms and find an alternative to what you're doing now that can deliver a 'rush' but not causing you damage - many suffered find that an elastic band 'pinged' agains the back of their wrist can help.
I'm by no means an expert, just stuff I've picked up from 20 years on the coalface.
[Post edited 27 Apr 2017 8:14]
I'm one of the people who was blamed for getting Paul Cook sacked. PM for the full post.
here is my advice, worded as constructively as possible
it is my opinion that you have too much spare time in your life, the obvious solution is to get some sort of full time employment, if you don't have the qualifications to get your preferred job, then maybe an evening class after work. this lifestyle change would then impact on your sleep, in a positive way imagine this, up at 6am, work til 5pm, evening class 7 - 10, home, bed, sleep, repeat presuming it is a monday - friday job, it then gives you the weekend to look forwards to, football season nearly done but i'm sure there are other things you can do on a saturday and sunday.
i await the dreaded arrows of hate
I actually think that's spot on advice. The more free time you have, the more worries, issues etc can manifest.
I'm sorry to hear about this Rommy.
As TLA says, it is classed as a form of self harm, albeit not always consciously but it is done for the same reasons as say, cut**ng for example.
I can only speak from the position of someone who has battled with self harm for 15 years or so (and who also averaged around 4 hours sleep a night for many years) but Taxi's advice is sound. Having distractions, a pattern and a working day (which can give a sense of accomplishment) is so vital.
Even if it's volunteering - dog walking at a local animal centre for example can really help.
Here if you would like to chat more - just PM me.
EDIT - all the other advice is great here as well. Speak to your GP or some of the people on here. There's a strong little community of sufferers and experts on here - TLA, BB, Newcy to name just a few.
[Post edited 27 Apr 2017 7:55]
Who said: "Colin Healy made Cesc Fabregas look like Colin Healy"? | We miss you TLA
I post rarely but I'm a Clinical Psychologist so can probably help a bit here. Firstly, people's suggestions are good but the most important is that you get support. GP is first stop for that.
It's basically a habit that you've developed, usually in response to something like stress or anxiety. These are ultimately what people need the help with in the longer term as it's the underlying issue. The hair pulling works in the same way as OCD really.
If you get to the point of addressing it with a professional as it sounds like you should then it'll most likely be using habit reversal therapy, which works using CBT principles. A fundamental component of that will be keeping a record of your hair pulling as much as you are aware of it as well as associated thoughts at the time etc. It's only through a full understanding of this that you'll change the behaviour.
First step is realising the problem. You've been brave enough to share and have got some supportive feedback. The biggest positive I can provide is that I've worked with lots of people with the same issue and it is very possible to manage and improve. You'll do it. All the best.
[Post edited 27 Apr 2017 8:26]
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Trichotillomania on 08:05 - Apr 27 with 4550 views
Sorry to hear about your problems Rommy but there is some good advice here.
Firstly you need to see your GP. I can assure you your eye lashes will grow again. It is quite a common problem and you don't see people with no eye lashes walking round.
Taxi and Chriswailes are right. You definitely have too much time on your hands. A lad of 18 (nearly 19) shouldn't be spending as many hours as you do on the internet. You left school/ education nearly a year ago and apart from odd gardening jobs at your granddad's, haven't managed to secure permanent work.
Get yourself a job. Even if it is in McDonalds or Tescos. It will get you away from that computer/phone/iPad and give you something to get up in the morning for.
You posted this at 4.10am. If you were working you would have been asleep hours before that!
I am beginning to sound like your mother I expect but, having children of my own, I would have said the same to them if they hadn't got jobs when they left education.
[Post edited 27 Apr 2017 8:26]
3
Trichotillomania on 08:05 - Apr 27 with 4553 views
You've done the most important and hardest part. You've acknowledged and admitted the problem. Strikes me that the first you need do is, as others have said, is seek professional help. You are self-harming. That's not something that can be readily cured by simple lifestyle changes.
Look to identify what 'triggers' you and seek help in developing coping mechanisms and find an alternative to what you're doing now that can deliver a 'rush' but not causing you damage - many suffered find that an elastic band 'pinged' agains the back of their wrist can help.
I'm by no means an expert, just stuff I've picked up from 20 years on the coalface.
[Post edited 27 Apr 2017 8:14]
I'd probably spend a bit of time away from here as well. Endless squabbling and low-level dickery is the last thing you need. At the very least, some selective use of the 'ignore' button.
[Post edited 27 Apr 2017 8:13]
I'm one of the people who was blamed for getting Paul Cook sacked. PM for the full post.
here is my advice, worded as constructively as possible
it is my opinion that you have too much spare time in your life, the obvious solution is to get some sort of full time employment, if you don't have the qualifications to get your preferred job, then maybe an evening class after work. this lifestyle change would then impact on your sleep, in a positive way imagine this, up at 6am, work til 5pm, evening class 7 - 10, home, bed, sleep, repeat presuming it is a monday - friday job, it then gives you the weekend to look forwards to, football season nearly done but i'm sure there are other things you can do on a saturday and sunday.
i await the dreaded arrows of hate
No arrows of hate from me taxi.
Every person's situation is different, meaning the solutions are too.
Routine doesn't sound appealing to many people (it didn't to me when I was younger) but it really has it's merits.
Some forms of hurting yourself can be associated with very subtle and sometimes subconscious issues around identity and meaning. Rommy mentioned that he has not felt in poor mental health so some of this stuff could be the case, although I would never seek to know someone from contact on a message board.
I guess all I'm saying is that, for some people, what you've suggested could be helpful.
1
Trichotillomania on 08:14 - Apr 27 with 4499 views
Every person's situation is different, meaning the solutions are too.
Routine doesn't sound appealing to many people (it didn't to me when I was younger) but it really has it's merits.
Some forms of hurting yourself can be associated with very subtle and sometimes subconscious issues around identity and meaning. Rommy mentioned that he has not felt in poor mental health so some of this stuff could be the case, although I would never seek to know someone from contact on a message board.
I guess all I'm saying is that, for some people, what you've suggested could be helpful.
As a word of caution, apart from in very mild cases, setting a routine and finding distractions for yourself is only ever part of the solution. Self-harm is generally a symptom of what can, if not treated properly, develop into severe mental illness.
I'm one of the people who was blamed for getting Paul Cook sacked. PM for the full post.
I post rarely but I'm a Clinical Psychologist so can probably help a bit here. Firstly, people's suggestions are good but the most important is that you get support. GP is first stop for that.
It's basically a habit that you've developed, usually in response to something like stress or anxiety. These are ultimately what people need the help with in the longer term as it's the underlying issue. The hair pulling works in the same way as OCD really.
If you get to the point of addressing it with a professional as it sounds like you should then it'll most likely be using habit reversal therapy, which works using CBT principles. A fundamental component of that will be keeping a record of your hair pulling as much as you are aware of it as well as associated thoughts at the time etc. It's only through a full understanding of this that you'll change the behaviour.
First step is realising the problem. You've been brave enough to share and have got some supportive feedback. The biggest positive I can provide is that I've worked with lots of people with the same issue and it is very possible to manage and improve. You'll do it. All the best.
[Post edited 27 Apr 2017 8:26]
In case you don't know Rommy, CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) is just being taught to change the way you think in order to change patterns of behaviour.
(Ps Blue Alex....was that a Freudian slip in your first sentence doc. )
[Post edited 27 Apr 2017 8:21]
"They break our legs and tell us to be grateful when they offer us crutches."
As a word of caution, apart from in very mild cases, setting a routine and finding distractions for yourself is only ever part of the solution. Self-harm is generally a symptom of what can, if not treated properly, develop into severe mental illness.
Bluealex's repsonse seems to indicate that there's a level of OCD here too.
I really don't know the answer when I ask this question but wouldn't setting routines further enhance OCD behaviour or allows the sufferer to deal with things better?
Please note: prior to hitting the post button, I've double checked for anything that could be construed as "Anti Semitic" and to the best of my knowledge it isn't. Anything deemed to be of a Xenophobic nature is therefore purely accidental or down to your own misconstruing.
As a word of caution, apart from in very mild cases, setting a routine and finding distractions for yourself is only ever part of the solution. Self-harm is generally a symptom of what can, if not treated properly, develop into severe mental illness.
I always try to be careful when responding on threads like this and not to generalise. However, I do think positive routines can be helpful for many people. I only think they can be useful, rather than a cure, just as I believe that a healthy lifestyle only reduces chances of physical illness, rather than guaranteeing it.
Personally, I wouldn't class self-harm as a symptom but more of a behaviour to deal with symptoms, which I totally agree need addressing to ensure they don't develop into deeper problems.
1
Trichotillomania on 08:27 - Apr 27 with 4417 views
In case you don't know Rommy, CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) is just being taught to change the way you think in order to change patterns of behaviour.
(Ps Blue Alex....was that a Freudian slip in your first sentence doc. )
[Post edited 27 Apr 2017 8:21]
Proper LOL at the Freudian slip reference!
1
Trichotillomania on 08:28 - Apr 27 with 4411 views
Bluealex's repsonse seems to indicate that there's a level of OCD here too.
I really don't know the answer when I ask this question but wouldn't setting routines further enhance OCD behaviour or allows the sufferer to deal with things better?
To be honest, I don't know. I'm not formally trained in mental health at all, I'm just going on what I've learned in 20 years at the coalface, hence the advice to get in touch with GP's and helplines first and foremost.
'Remote' diagnosis is a tricky thing, which is why it's always best to seek proper help rather than taking the word(most of it sensible and useful, in this case, in all fairness) of us lot as gospel.
[Post edited 27 Apr 2017 8:33]
I'm one of the people who was blamed for getting Paul Cook sacked. PM for the full post.
In case you don't know Rommy, CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) is just being taught to change the way you think in order to change patterns of behaviour.
(Ps Blue Alex....was that a Freudian slip in your first sentence doc. )
[Post edited 27 Apr 2017 8:21]
Haha!! Well noted...corrected! There's a witty reply about the fact I work in the NHS in there somewhere...
1
Trichotillomania on 08:35 - Apr 27 with 4370 views
Bluealex's repsonse seems to indicate that there's a level of OCD here too.
I really don't know the answer when I ask this question but wouldn't setting routines further enhance OCD behaviour or allows the sufferer to deal with things better?
Routine, structure, purpose are all good but lots of people don't have these and don't have a problem like this so my point is that often (not always, I'm not generalising) there's something more and that this is the problem.
It works like OCD in the sense that there's a need to perform a beahaviour that has become habit. The compulsion is performing it and the reinforcement comes from the positive feeling of pulling the hair just like scratching an itch.
The bit that's most difficult is how the OP tried so hard not to do it. It's a vicious cycle. It's like someone trying really hard to diet and not eat fatty foods or to not smoke. They try really hard for a bit, ultimately 'fail' and then feel guilty. This only makes it more difficult when they try even harder next time and feel worse for not succeeding. But like with anything you can break the cycle but it's obviously hard and that's why I think professional advice would be useful.
3
Trichotillomania on 08:39 - Apr 27 with 4327 views
Routine, structure, purpose are all good but lots of people don't have these and don't have a problem like this so my point is that often (not always, I'm not generalising) there's something more and that this is the problem.
It works like OCD in the sense that there's a need to perform a beahaviour that has become habit. The compulsion is performing it and the reinforcement comes from the positive feeling of pulling the hair just like scratching an itch.
The bit that's most difficult is how the OP tried so hard not to do it. It's a vicious cycle. It's like someone trying really hard to diet and not eat fatty foods or to not smoke. They try really hard for a bit, ultimately 'fail' and then feel guilty. This only makes it more difficult when they try even harder next time and feel worse for not succeeding. But like with anything you can break the cycle but it's obviously hard and that's why I think professional advice would be useful.
Cheers, good info.
Rommers, go talk to someone.
Please note: prior to hitting the post button, I've double checked for anything that could be construed as "Anti Semitic" and to the best of my knowledge it isn't. Anything deemed to be of a Xenophobic nature is therefore purely accidental or down to your own misconstruing.
I always try to be careful when responding on threads like this and not to generalise. However, I do think positive routines can be helpful for many people. I only think they can be useful, rather than a cure, just as I believe that a healthy lifestyle only reduces chances of physical illness, rather than guaranteeing it.
Personally, I wouldn't class self-harm as a symptom but more of a behaviour to deal with symptoms, which I totally agree need addressing to ensure they don't develop into deeper problems.
Self harm was described to me as the pain is a relief to the real issue. The pain takes away thoughts of what is really going on, I think bluealex is very correct in advising GP professional help and once the root cause has been identified that can then be treated and resolved. Taking up some form of sport or exercise could help as well, build in a one hour run, walk, cycle or whatever you fancy into the daily routine at a set time every day. Good luck Rommy and hope you get over this ASAP.
0
Trichotillomania on 08:57 - Apr 27 with 4278 views
Routine, structure, purpose are all good but lots of people don't have these and don't have a problem like this so my point is that often (not always, I'm not generalising) there's something more and that this is the problem.
It works like OCD in the sense that there's a need to perform a beahaviour that has become habit. The compulsion is performing it and the reinforcement comes from the positive feeling of pulling the hair just like scratching an itch.
The bit that's most difficult is how the OP tried so hard not to do it. It's a vicious cycle. It's like someone trying really hard to diet and not eat fatty foods or to not smoke. They try really hard for a bit, ultimately 'fail' and then feel guilty. This only makes it more difficult when they try even harder next time and feel worse for not succeeding. But like with anything you can break the cycle but it's obviously hard and that's why I think professional advice would be useful.
Oh exactly. Those situations alone don't cause the issues, but if you are prone to them, then they will make them worse.
I was diagnosed with severe OCD at the age of 5, and that (along with another serious mental health illness) has meant I have found (incorrect) solace with self harm and self-destructive behaviors regularly.
I'm 29 now and have had 1 year clear of it, but the OCD is a constant and still there and there was a time when I was doing routines for more than 14 hours a day.
I've learnt that having structure and a routine in everyday life (i.e. you HAVE to get up for work, you HAVE to eat) helps bring back normality to the situation, but obviously it's a fine line between making sure they don't become rituals and ruminations.
There's a clearly an underlying issue here in some regards (without trying to make it out to be hyperbole), because, generally speaking, people don't pull their eyelashes out. Rommy is aware of that and recognizing it is the first major hurdle.
I would seriously recommend CBT - it has been a godsend to me for the last 15 years.
Whether this is full blown OCD I'm not sure - you haven't mentioned other traits which may lead itself to it - but at the same time, it is an incredibly overlooked mental illness, which unfortunately has been given a light hearted tag.
Who said: "Colin Healy made Cesc Fabregas look like Colin Healy"? | We miss you TLA
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