Dreamed of wearing the blue shirt and taking Town to victory after victory? Simon Field tells you how you could fulfil that dream. Sort of.
For many, meeting up with the lads, drinking some beer and then watching football is the perfect Saturday. But what if you could add even more football to that heady mix? And then add the opportunity to share a muddy shower with a bunch of hairy men?
Here is your chance! Punch Drunk FC is a team made up of Ipswich supporters, affiliated to the Internet Football Association. We've been running for 10 years now and are still going strong. We look to organise games against like-minded teams of opposing supporters on the day when our real teams play.
Generally speaking we try to kick off at around 10.30am, play the game and be changed in time for food and beer before getting to the ground to see Pablo and co show us how its supposed to be done. We play both home and away fixtures as and when we can. Yes, that means a very early start if we're away at Sheffield, but good fun is invariably had by all, so it's all worthwhile.
Playing for PDFC is not a heavy commitment. Games aren't weekly, and you aren't going to lose your place if you don't turn up. The team is about getting together with fellow supporters and having the opportunity to play in the famous and prestigious blue shirt of ITFC.
Winning, whilst always pleasant, is not the most important thing. Ability within the team varies enormously, as does age (we've had under-16s, and over-45s in the same side on occasion). In fact the team itself varies enormously game by game.
Essentially, even if you play like Tony Dinning on a bad day, you'll get a game and not feel out of place. If you score a stunning own goal, you are more likely to be teased endlessly than shouted at. Equally, if you'd be playing for Man Utd if only it wasn't for that dodgy knee, then we're always grateful for the addition of some quality to the squad!
If you can only turn out once a year in Ipswich, that's fine. If you live elsewhere in the country but can turn out for local games when Town are playing away, that's great too.
As you may have guessed by now from the presence of this article, we are looking for some fresh blood to come and join us. The more players we have who can turn out, the more games we can get organised, so all are welcome. The only requirements are that you can play with a smile on your face and become a member of the ITFC mailing list. The latter is simply a matter of subscribing to a discussion list by email.
These days (with the rise of message boards) its not especially busy, but you generally get a more gentlemanly and measured consideration of all things ITFC than you might on the message boards.
Don't be shy, dust off the boots and come and join the illustrious ranks of PDFC which have included Jim Magilton (albeit only for 20 minutes) and even Phil Ham (a long, long time ago when he had a full head of flowing blond locks).
We're hoping to raise a team to play Preston on the opening day of the season. If you are interested in making your PDFC debut, or just signing up to receive details and information about future games and events, just drop us a line at punchdrunkfc@hotmail.co.uk and someone will answer any questions you may have. You can also find more information about the Internet Football Association, its values and how it works at http://www.boocock.net/ifa/ifaweb/index.htm.