Blues midfielder Alan Judge says he was feeling more like his old self during last night’s 1-0 victory at Rochdale, condemning his form earlier this season as “shit”.
"The important thing for me was that I kind of felt like I was a little bit back to my normal self today,” the Irishman said in a frank and open post-match chat with reporters following last night's match.
"It’s been a tough one since the summer, for many reasons and I’m not going to kid myself, I’ve been shit, I haven’t been my usual self.
"But there are reasons for that and I spoke to the manager and we’re getting along with that. Missing pre-season I think was a major factor for me and I think maybe tonight I’ve seen that maybe a fully fit me is finally getting there.
"Confidence is the most important thing in football. It’s the easiest thing to lose, but it’s the hardest thing to gain, and I’m gradually getting mine bit by bit. I enjoyed tonight, I don’t mind that at all.”
Speaking earlier in the season, the 30-year-old admitted that the summer interest from QPR and his daughter Emily requiring two operations were on his mind over the summer.
Thoughts of leaving Portman Road are now well in the past and life away from football is happier: "Family’s settled, daughter had her first operation, waiting for the next one to come. The family love it in Ipswich, so it’s just about me to get my football going now, which I will. I’m pretty confident I will.
"What we’ve seen of me this year isn't the real me but I’m feeling maybe the last two games, a little bit against Southend and maybe tonight, is more me.”
Does the rotation policy have a negative effect on him as he looks to get back to form? "The thing is I haven’t been playing well enough to keep myself in the team, so I can’t really argue at the minute.
"People say I want to play centre midfield, I want to play off the front, I just want to play football, but I know I have to play well and I haven’t played to the standards I set myself last year.
"But I think I’d rather be going through my little dip now than come the end of the season when it comes to the most important part. I feel like I will hopefully get better and better the more games I get and I think the gaffer knows that.
"I think when I first came here last year it took me four or five games to get going and if I get those four or five games I’ll get to what I was last year.”
The former Brentford man says manager Paul Lambert has kept faith in him.
"I spoke to the gaffer two weeks ago, we had a good talk," he continued. "I let him know where I was. I knew I needed a bit more training, I’ve been doing extra, didn’t play the few games before because I’ve just been trying to get my fitness up to where I feel like I need to and games will get me better.
"I’m one of those players who needs to play, but I know at the moment the gaffer’s doing a rotation and I have to play well when I come in. As I said, excuse the language, I’ve been shit, but I know I can get better.”
Internationally, Republic of Ireland boss Mick McCarthy has also kept faith in him despite his difficult start to the campaign with the squad for the November internationals, including the crucial Euro 2020 qualifier with Denmark, set to be confirmed later this week.
"Well, I hope so, the squad hasn’t been named yet, I’ll find out come Thursday! Provisionally I was in,” he added.
"I think the thing for Mick, every time I’ve played for Mick I’ve played well and I think Mick has been loyal, hopefully I’m in the squad come Thursday. I don’t think I’ve let Mick down when I’ve played for him, and hopefully long may that continue.”
Judge sounded re-energised by his performance at Spotland and admits he’s excited about what lies ahead for him: "Yes, because I feel I’m getting it behind me. I know the fans, I might be the easy the one to look at because of what happened in the summer, and I understand that. When [fans] see other clubs coming in for players they probably think they want to go.
"But I’m genuinely 100 per cent committed here, I want to be playing and that’s the main thing. I had long enough not playing.
"If I started getting happy sitting on the bench I might as well retire. So, that’s the drive I have, I’ve missed long enough not playing and the gaffer knows that, but I know I have to perform. It’s down to me now, that’s the main thing.”