I made what BBC Good Food describes as ‘Next Level Ratatouille’ before going to watch this game in a pub. That was a success, Ipswich operating on another level away at Old Trafford, less so. So that’s where this week’s theme comes from.

An amazing game if you’re a neutral, I guess. Ipswich were far better than the scoreline suggests, particularly first half where we had the better chances (and a fantastic finish by Leif Davis).

Then an unfortunate slip by Marcelino Núñez let Man Utd in for their equaliser and that was the turning point. A highly controversial handball by Harry Maguire led to their second (and much debate about the law across the media), plus a soft-as-you-like penalty, saw Ipswich crumble.

We were unlucky, no doubt, but we have to learn not to fold so easily when things are going against us, however unfair. We're at the big boys level now!

Thanks again to those of you who bought my book of last season’s poems. I’ve sold 32 now. If you did get one, don’t forget to leave a review, please! If you haven't yet it's available here.

Manchester Utd 5:2 Ipswich Town, 30/08/2026

Next Level

My ‘next level ratatouille’
was ready as I left the house.
I scampered up to the local pub,
with furtive glances like a mouse.

Doused in fear, but here’s the thing,
it’s quite the blurred line
with fingers-crossed excitement, bossed.
Defrost my heart; we started fine.

Down the line, messieurs Maeda and Fatawu voodoing things.
An Enciso disco, lit, nipped, zipping, pulling strings.
Running rings - he almost sings - and Núñez brings a mention.
Until him and Ipswich slip… into a parallel dimension.

Tension, without comprehension,
or prevention, shoulders slunk.
Harry Hands-up, pants pulled down,
soon in Suffolk punch drunk.
We’re sunk, stunk out Old Trafford,
Red Devils rode in waves.
A soft pen, tide turned then
Greaves grieves, makes graves.

Saves!

We toss Palacios on, a World Cup winner, much vaunted.
But by now the Tractor Boys were playing like the ball was haunted.
Daunted, soaked, shape lost, the measures getting drastic.
Step forth a pinball fourth, of course: deflection-tastic.

We’re plastic, snapped old knicker elastic,
then comes one fantastic lob.
A late one back for Akpom, game’s gone,
big boys done a big job.

At least for my ‘next level ratatouille’
- the best, the test was passed.
Top level Tractor Boys, though,
will need to learn this level,
fast.

StowTractor added 13:00 - Sep 4 Enjoyed the poem more than the actual 2nd half. Was watching it in the haven caravan park sports bar, with a row of glory hunters in front of me. Well back to work ready for an early leave to make sure I get in the ground in time for tonight's kick off.
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