After the first nine minutes, I’m frankly relieved it wasn’t a cricket score. A tough night for the Blues under the Friday night lights.

Ipswich Town 0:2 Liverpool, 04/09/2026

Steamrollered In Nine

Colder weather and a new squad stitched together, that’s fine.
But the Ipswich stitch in time didn’t save us after nine…
minutes, we were simply not in it, to win it.
Chasing shadows like The Red Arrows,
however you spin it.

Innit enlightening, and a bit uninviting, when lightning
wears shorts and you’re caught short; Isak's attacks were frightening.
A British record transfer’s quick double left no doubt.
And left Greaves’ knees a-knocking and his blood inside out.

Shout out, too, for van Dijk, dreamlike and breezy
strolling round, stroking balls, making football look easy
peasy, and feasibly the keeper could’ve stopped
to have an ice-cream and not dripped a drop
of our soft-scoop shots.

Julio buzzed as usualio and Palacios oozes class.
The keeper and Greaves leaves me nervous
like something’s oozing from my…
Farce! And just to pass the rest of time and be intrigued,
on comes a fizzy Barcola;
We’re steamrollered
in a ruthless league.

Poems of all of last season's games (and some bonus ones), available in one handy coffee table book here.

armchaircritic59 added 20:04 - Sep 5 Yep, it wasn't a cricket score, but Liverpool more or less declared after 10 minutes, and unfortunately rain or bad light didn't intervene. Sounds like you might need to take along a change of underwear to future games :) Seriously, keep up the good work!
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