Abdul Fatawu will get some stick for his diving and subsequent sending off, but I’ve seen a lot to like in this lad.

Positive, exciting and rapid… and still young enough to learn how to be cuter at the dark arts. He was, for me, our biggest threat at the shiny new Hill Dickinson Stadium.

A decent game and performance, a lot of fortune in their goal, and we made them sweat a bit towards the end despite having ten men.

I actually wrote most of this one before the game finished, with the title coming first for a change. See if you can spot all the Prodigy references.

I’m awarding myself extra marks for getting the word kinesiology in there.

These poems aren’t all entertainment, sometimes you need to do a bit of work!

Everton 1:0 Ipswich Town, 19/09/2026

The Fat Of The Land

Choo! Choo! It’s Fatawu,
not easy to catch.
A forward-brained bullet train
cutting up the full back’s tracks.
Stacks of pace, snatched shots.
Sort of man of the match?
Sent off but a joy to watch
when let off the latch.

Booked for a foul, we howled
at another one for diving.
Lame in a tight game, a shame
but full marks for striving
and arriving in the box with picks for locks
and a box of tricks.
No goals but finding holes,
he’ll smash one soon between the sticks.

A slick Rick, a rocket ship.
A Spitfire fired up, an Omen.
A Roman road roaming, groaning.
Ashton, splash some cash on cloning!
Not condoning the dive, but I’ve
seen his kinesiology -
a Firestarter snuffed out.
Adored. Flawed. A prodigy.

Poems of all of last season's games (and some bonus ones) are available in one handy coffee table book here.

armchaircritic59 added 14:42 - Sep 20 Cheating, and that's what it is, is something we all want to get rid of in the game, whichever shirt is being worn. I hope G O'N has let him know in no uncertain terms in private and that he learns his lesson. Then we and he can move on and bin it. He was decent before that, but I still have Outtara ahead of him. Keep them coming!
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