| Thursday joke thread... 10:16 - Oct 19 with 17918 views | hoppy |
Son: Dad, why is my sister named Teresa?
Dad: Because your mum loves Easter and Teresa is an anagram of Easter.
Son: Thanks dad,
Dad: No problem Alan |  |
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| Thursday joke thread... on 13:13 - Oct 19 with 6368 views | J2BLUE |
| Thursday joke thread... on 11:37 - Oct 19 by hoppy |
Always, when it comes to the participants.
It was more to do with J2 giving my OP both an up and a down... wasn't sure which was accurate. |
Which OP? |  |
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| Thursday joke thread... on 13:29 - Oct 19 with 6352 views | ITFC1983 |
| Thursday joke thread... on 10:30 - Oct 19 by hoppy |
Should I downvote you as well as upvote you? Not sure what the protocol is here...  |
I have just done the same on this one, as I am clearly some kind of fat fingered buffoon! |  |
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| Thursday joke thread... on 13:32 - Oct 19 with 6345 views | ITFC1983 |
| Thursday joke thread... on 13:13 - Oct 19 by J2BLUE |
Which OP? |
It wasn't you J2 it was me, Hoppy has clearly had a busy morning on the sauce...
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| Thursday joke thread... on 14:09 - Oct 19 with 6302 views | Bluebell |
My husband and I are having a competition to see who can steal the most dog related stuff from our local pet shop.
I’ve just taken the lead! |  | | |
| Thursday joke thread... on 14:21 - Oct 19 with 6288 views | jimsymBLUE |
Playing doctors and nurses with the wife in the bedroom last night didn't go very well.
Especially when I diagnosed her as clinically obese.
I bought 6 litres of Tipp-Ex the other day. Big mistake.
I took the shell off my racing snail to make it go faster.
If anything it's made it more sluggish.
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| Thursday joke thread... on 14:37 - Oct 19 with 6253 views | hoppy |
| Thursday joke thread... on 13:32 - Oct 19 by ITFC1983 |
It wasn't you J2 it was me, Hoppy has clearly had a busy morning on the sauce...
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Ah yes, i do apologise J2, I didn’t want you to think I thought of you as a fat fingered freak, when it was itfc1983 all along... | |
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| Thursday joke thread... on 15:07 - Oct 19 with 6213 views | stickymockwell |
Doctor: Have you have been getting enough exercise?
Me: Does sex count as exercise?
Doctor: Yes
Me: No |  |
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| Thursday joke thread... on 15:26 - Oct 19 with 6193 views | bluewein |
A man is washing a car with his son.
The son asks "Dad, can't you just use a sponge?" |  |
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| Thursday joke thread... on 17:24 - Oct 19 with 6125 views | caught-in-limbo |
| Thursday joke thread... on 11:35 - Oct 19 by Archer4721 |
I was doing a crossword in the pub and said to my Scottish mate 'I'm stuck on one, trapped on a desert island... eight letters starting with M
He said 'marooned'
I said 'what?'
He said 'it's marooned.'
I said 'Thanks. I'll have a pint with a whisky chaser!' |
That is now my new favourite joke, just pipping my favourite for the last 5 years:
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Europe.
Europe who?
No! You're a poo! |  |
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| Thursday joke thread... on 17:39 - Oct 19 with 6103 views | Bluebell |
My husband purchased a deodorant stick today.
The instructions said "remove cap & push up bottom"
He can hardly walk but when he farts the room smells lovely. | | | |
| Thursday joke thread... on 17:47 - Oct 19 with 6094 views | NewcyBlue |
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball?
" Gurgle, gurgle, cough spew" |  |
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| Thursday joke thread... on 20:22 - Oct 19 with 6011 views | cressi |
| Thursday joke thread... on 17:47 - Oct 19 by NewcyBlue |
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball?
" Gurgle, gurgle, cough spew" |
Q what do you call a fat chick with a yeast infection ?
A A whopper with cheese. |  | | |
| Thursday joke thread... on 20:44 - Oct 19 with 5983 views | stickymockwell |
Wife texts husband at work on a cold winters morning:
"Windows frozen."
Husband texts back:
"Pour some lukewarm water over it"
Wife texts back:
"Computer completely fuc**d now." | |
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| Thursday joke thread... on 23:11 - Oct 19 with 5895 views | hoppy |
| Thursday joke thread... on 17:39 - Oct 19 by Bluebell |
My husband purchased a deodorant stick today.
The instructions said "remove cap & push up bottom"
He can hardly walk but when he farts the room smells lovely. |
Bit like when I went to get some deodorant...
“Roll on ball type?”
“No, just for under my arms please.” | |
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| Thursday joke thread... on 00:02 - Oct 20 with 5860 views | Swansea_Blue |
| Thursday joke thread... on 11:58 - Oct 19 by Axeldalai_lama |
I've never quite realised the sheer and absolute patheticness of that picture before.
I always just see the "participants" bit and have a good old chuckle. This is the first time I've taken a good look at the rest.
3rd in the top flight once, an "honour"?
Winning the second tier, haha!
Winning the THIRD tier twice, hahahaha!
Being in a play off final(and losing), so coming in the top 6 of the second tier, an honour!
PARTICIPATING in europe once.
FA cup winners, oh no sorry.... finalists, oh, hang on, never. SEMI finalists 3 times!!!!
Here we go, there pride and joy and could actually be considered an honour with a tiny h, league cup winners twice, once against rochdale. Massively well done.
I assume they then go on to say they reached the league cup semi, or maybe quarter finals a couple of times too.
Absolutely hilarious stuff. |
Tbf, the lower league wins are valid. The rest is hilarious though, agreed. |  |
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| Thursday joke thread... on 07:06 - Oct 20 with 5809 views | Crawfordsboot |
| Thursday joke thread... on 13:11 - Oct 19 by BrixtonBlue |
To be fair, it sounds like she's a looker. |
Cornier,cornier and cornier |  | | |
| Thursday joke thread... on 07:54 - Oct 20 with 5790 views | BiGDonnie |
Old couple getting are getting ready for bed when the woman jumps out the bathroom in her robe, rips it off and shouts ‘super pussy’.
The old bloke says I’ll have the soup. |  |
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| Thursday joke thread... on 08:14 - Oct 20 with 5774 views | Bluebell |
| Thursday joke thread... on 23:11 - Oct 19 by hoppy |
Bit like when I went to get some deodorant...
“Roll on ball type?”
“No, just for under my arms please.” |
Which has reminded me of this one.................
"Mum! I'm going out!"
You're not leaving this house until you change that miniskirt!!
"Why?"
Because I can see your balls, Richard. | | | |
| Thursday joke thread... on 08:23 - Oct 20 with 5761 views | Johnhoz |
I refer you to a quote from the late, great Christopher Hitchens:
"The four most overrated things in life are champagne, lobster, anal sex and picnics." — the New Yorker, 2006 |  |
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| Thursday joke thread... on 08:45 - Oct 20 with 5743 views | WeWereZombies |
| Thursday joke thread... on 08:23 - Oct 20 by Johnhoz |
I refer you to a quote from the late, great Christopher Hitchens:
"The four most overrated things in life are champagne, lobster, anal sex and picnics." — the New Yorker, 2006 |
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| Thursday joke thread... on 08:55 - Oct 20 with 5719 views | Lesta_Tractor |
| Thursday joke thread... on 00:02 - Oct 20 by Swansea_Blue |
Tbf, the lower league wins are valid. The rest is hilarious though, agreed. |
I'd like to see our honours list including participation but can't be bothered to work it out! |  |
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| Thursday joke thread... on 19:18 - Oct 20 with 5625 views | hoppy |
| Thursday joke thread... on 08:55 - Oct 20 by Lesta_Tractor |
I'd like to see our honours list including participation but can't be bothered to work it out! |
I'm sure someone must've done that somewhere, sometime. | |
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| Thursday joke thread... on 19:49 - Oct 20 with 5597 views | Axeldalai_lama |
| Thursday joke thread... on 19:18 - Oct 20 by hoppy |
I'm sure someone must've done that somewhere, sometime. |
A quick wikipedia:
Division 3 champions twice(not been in it since 1957)! (same as them)
Division 2 champions 3 times (same as them)
Division1 champions once, third or above 5 more times. (at least 6 times better than them, plus we won it)
FA cup winners once, semi final twice.( Same, except oh yeah we won it and they've never even made the final)
Uefa cup winners once, PARTICIPANTS 11 (ELEVEN) times, QF twice too.(speaks for itself!)
Charity shield runners up twice(couldn't find it on theirs, oh yeah, never even been near it.)
Playoff winners once(their "honour" was making the final once!)
League cup, semi finalist 3 times.(This obviously makes them a better club, they beat Rochdale once)
FA youth cup 3 times(them 2)
Texaco cup once(apparantly they were runners up once, can't think to who?!!) [Post edited 20 Oct 2017 19:58]
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