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Would anyone like a poem? 23:06 - Nov 17 with 687 viewsBrixtonBlue

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Hate

People on push bikes
People in cars
Ladies in department stores trying on bras
People who fell out with their business partners
Downhill skiers
Uphill gardeners
Welders, your elders
Women called Mandy
Children at bus stops
Mahatma Gandhi
Locked out locksmiths
Tired physicians
The sexually adventurous in various positions
Unable seamen
A man with a wrench
Footballers sat on the substitute’s bench
Butchers, bakers
Movers and shakers
People with beards
Accordion makers
The undead, the inbred
The rich and the poor
The bloke who does the voice on the lottery draw
Vicars in living rooms drinking some tea
Young boys masturbating furiously
Graham Norton, pregnant mothers
Every single one of your previous lovers
People who can’t ‘go’ in public loos
All thirteen of the Doctor Whos
The bloke in the pub quiz who knows all the answers
The police, and out of work belly dancers
The person who always sits close to the exit
Even the tw@ts who voted for Brexit
The army, the barmy, a mystical swami
The famous, the homeless
Fans of salami
All religions, all races
The people who buy pastry cases
The woman in church who plays the organ
All of them
Unequivocally



Hate Piers Morgan.
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Would anyone like a poem? on 23:10 - Nov 17 with 670 viewsGodzilla

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Would anyone like a poem? on 23:13 - Nov 17 with 659 viewshoppy

You spelt ‘all of them probably on twtd’ wrongly.

Other than that, good.

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Would anyone like a poem? on 23:14 - Nov 17 with 657 viewsbluemurder

Have a thumb just for bothering
0

Would anyone like a poem? on 23:17 - Nov 17 with 641 viewsLibero

Constructive criticism, wear a beret when reciting.
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Would anyone like a poem? on 23:22 - Nov 17 with 629 viewsStNeotsBlue

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Would anyone like a poem? on 23:31 - Nov 17 with 583 viewsfactual_blue

I don't see how that will work as the new Haribo ad, but nice try.

Ta neige, Acadie, fait des larmes au soleil
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Would anyone like a poem? on 23:34 - Nov 17 with 570 viewsJ2BLUE

You're on your way to staring in a Nationwide advert.

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Would anyone like a poem? on 23:34 - Nov 17 with 571 viewsfactual_blue

Would anyone like a poem? on 23:17 - Nov 17 by Libero

Constructive criticism, wear a beret when reciting.


Just a beret?




Ta neige, Acadie, fait des larmes au soleil
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Would anyone like a poem? on 23:34 - Nov 17 with 569 viewsBrixtonBlue

Would anyone like a poem? on 23:31 - Nov 17 by factual_blue

I don't see how that will work as the new Haribo ad, but nice try.


If you imagine it in a child's voice, but lip synced by Jacob Rees-Mogg, then it all makes sense.
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Cracking stuff Jerseys, have an uppie on 23:38 - Nov 17 with 554 viewsDyland

notwithstanding the sh1t scansion

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Would anyone like a poem? on 23:39 - Nov 17 with 550 viewsLibero

Would anyone like a poem? on 23:34 - Nov 17 by factual_blue

Just a beret?





Oh, and sandals too. Sorry.
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Would anyone like a poem? on 23:39 - Nov 17 with 549 viewsfactual_blue

Would anyone like a poem? on 23:34 - Nov 17 by BrixtonBlue

If you imagine it in a child's voice, but lip synced by Jacob Rees-Mogg, then it all makes sense.


Which Doctor Who are you not counting?

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Would anyone like a poem? on 23:41 - Nov 17 with 546 viewsfactual_blue

Would anyone like a poem? on 23:39 - Nov 17 by Libero

Oh, and sandals too. Sorry.


But no socks.




Pervert.

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Cracking stuff Jerseys, have an uppie on 00:19 - Nov 18 with 516 viewsBrixtonBlue

Cracking stuff Jerseys, have an uppie on 23:38 - Nov 17 by Dyland

notwithstanding the sh1t scansion


I don't follow rules, man.
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Would anyone like a poem? on 13:05 - Nov 18 with 408 viewsLibero

Have a word Dollers, Partridge is ripping off your stuff!

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Would anyone like a poem? on 13:22 - Nov 18 with 390 viewsThe_Romford_Blue

What about Vegans?

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Would anyone like a poem? on 13:28 - Nov 18 with 383 viewsconnorscontract

Would anyone like a poem? on 13:22 - Nov 18 by The_Romford_Blue

What about Vegans?


"Gelatine pushing militant vegans
Tactically clueless resigning Kev Keegan's"





Sorry, Dollers. It's a very good poem and the punchline is concealed like a Murali doosra.
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Would anyone like a poem? on 14:58 - Nov 18 with 354 viewsTLA

Would anyone like a poem? on 13:22 - Nov 18 by The_Romford_Blue

What about Vegans?


Is the right answer that vegans like Piers Morgan because he's less popular than them?
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Would anyone like a poem? on 18:21 - Nov 18 with 318 viewsRyorry

Would anyone like a poem? on 23:34 - Nov 17 by J2BLUE

You're on your way to staring in a Nationwide advert.


It needs to be sung for full effect tho

"O'll give it noine" (that's 9/10 for you babes in arms who never saw 'Thank Your Lucky Stars').

(would have been more if he hadn't called me an "out of work belly dancer" )

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Would anyone like a poem? on 18:26 - Nov 18 with 309 viewsJ2BLUE

Would anyone like a poem? on 18:21 - Nov 18 by Ryorry

It needs to be sung for full effect tho

"O'll give it noine" (that's 9/10 for you babes in arms who never saw 'Thank Your Lucky Stars').

(would have been more if he hadn't called me an "out of work belly dancer" )


Count yourself lucky, i'm a tw@t who voted for Brexit.

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Would anyone like a poem? on 18:32 - Nov 18 with 297 viewsThe_Romford_Blue

Would anyone like a poem? on 23:13 - Nov 17 by hoppy

You spelt ‘all of them probably on twtd’ wrongly.

Other than that, good.


So good that I had not realised it wasn't an actual poem


I thought it was from a real poet. Like at least semi-pro.

So in that case, good work Dollers.

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Would anyone like a poem? on 18:41 - Nov 18 with 284 viewsBrixtonBlue

Would anyone like a poem? on 18:32 - Nov 18 by The_Romford_Blue

So good that I had not realised it wasn't an actual poem


I thought it was from a real poet. Like at least semi-pro.

So in that case, good work Dollers.


Ha, cheers Rommers.

I performed it in Shoreditch a couple of weeks ago on my birthday. Got a good reception, plenty of laughs. There's a pic of me performing at the same event a couple of years ago on my FB page.
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