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This is an exclusive, only for Friday night people.
Hate
People on push bikes People in cars Ladies in department stores trying on bras People who fell out with their business partners Downhill skiers Uphill gardeners Welders, your elders Women called Mandy Children at bus stops Mahatma Gandhi Locked out locksmiths Tired physicians The sexually adventurous in various positions Unable seamen A man with a wrench Footballers sat on the substitute’s bench Butchers, bakers Movers and shakers People with beards Accordion makers The undead, the inbred The rich and the poor The bloke who does the voice on the lottery draw Vicars in living rooms drinking some tea Young boys masturbating furiously Graham Norton, pregnant mothers Every single one of your previous lovers People who can’t ‘go’ in public loos All thirteen of the Doctor Whos The bloke in the pub quiz who knows all the answers The police, and out of work belly dancers The person who always sits close to the exit Even the tw@ts who voted for Brexit The army, the barmy, a mystical swami The famous, the homeless Fans of salami All religions, all races The people who buy pastry cases The woman in church who plays the organ All of them Unequivocally
So good that I had not realised it wasn't an actual poem
I thought it was from a real poet. Like at least semi-pro.
So in that case, good work Dollers.
Ha, cheers Rommers.
I performed it in Shoreditch a couple of weeks ago on my birthday. Got a good reception, plenty of laughs. There's a pic of me performing at the same event a couple of years ago on my FB page.