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Extremely moving. 10:14 - Jan 30 with 1322 viewsMattinLondon


http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-42859091
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Extremely moving. on 10:21 - Jan 30 with 1282 viewsLeighOnSeaBlue

Heartbreaking, I don't know how I would cope with his situation.

He has to be strong for his son, yet he needs time to grieve as well.

Poor guy
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Extremely moving. on 10:29 - Jan 30 with 1251 viewsGlasgowBlue

Extremely moving. on 10:21 - Jan 30 by LeighOnSeaBlue

Heartbreaking, I don't know how I would cope with his situation.

He has to be strong for his son, yet he needs time to grieve as well.

Poor guy


Heartbreaking indeed. A hard read and my sympathy goes out to the bloke. Like you, I don’t know how I would cope. But even worse for the kids.

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Extremely moving. on 10:29 - Jan 30 with 1249 viewsMattinLondon

Extremely moving. on 10:21 - Jan 30 by LeighOnSeaBlue

Heartbreaking, I don't know how I would cope with his situation.

He has to be strong for his son, yet he needs time to grieve as well.

Poor guy


I agree.

Reading the story I did try to think how I would cope but it was just too upsetting that I had to try and block out such thoughts. The poor man can’t do that.
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Extremely moving. on 10:39 - Jan 30 with 1234 viewsLeighOnSeaBlue

Extremely moving. on 10:29 - Jan 30 by MattinLondon

I agree.

Reading the story I did try to think how I would cope but it was just too upsetting that I had to try and block out such thoughts. The poor man can’t do that.


Had to read his blog but like you just found it too upsetting.

So feel for the little lad as 8 is an age where you no what's going on.

I lost my mum when I was 39 after a short illness and that was hard but at 8, blimey that is

so horrid
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Extremely moving. on 10:54 - Jan 30 with 1213 viewsGuthrum

The one thing which slightly concerned me is the putting of notes in his son's lunch. Obviously these things are deeply individual and personal, but is it helpful for the boy to be given a forcible reminder every day of his loss, however comforting the message?

I was nowhere near as young as that when I lost my father, but sometimes throwing yourself into life can be a way of coping with grief. Not exactly ignoring it, but not dwelling constantly, either.

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Extremely moving. on 11:10 - Jan 30 with 1195 viewsitfc78

Extremely moving. on 10:54 - Jan 30 by Guthrum

The one thing which slightly concerned me is the putting of notes in his son's lunch. Obviously these things are deeply individual and personal, but is it helpful for the boy to be given a forcible reminder every day of his loss, however comforting the message?

I was nowhere near as young as that when I lost my father, but sometimes throwing yourself into life can be a way of coping with grief. Not exactly ignoring it, but not dwelling constantly, either.


I lost my 5 year old son to Acute myeloid Leukaemia in August last year. Life doesn't prepare you to deal with death and tragedy. The one thing I'm finding hard to deal with, is the question, "I don't know how you cope and carry on?"
The answer is quite simple, you don't have a choice! When people ask how I am, I tell them I'm ok? But inside, I want to say, I'm not good, I'm struggling. But that then leads to them feeling awkward.
I can fully empathise with how he is feeling. There is no rule book for dealing with death, so any criticism, I feel is unfair.
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Extremely moving. on 11:40 - Jan 30 with 1164 viewsnc41

Extremely moving. on 11:10 - Jan 30 by itfc78

I lost my 5 year old son to Acute myeloid Leukaemia in August last year. Life doesn't prepare you to deal with death and tragedy. The one thing I'm finding hard to deal with, is the question, "I don't know how you cope and carry on?"
The answer is quite simple, you don't have a choice! When people ask how I am, I tell them I'm ok? But inside, I want to say, I'm not good, I'm struggling. But that then leads to them feeling awkward.
I can fully empathise with how he is feeling. There is no rule book for dealing with death, so any criticism, I feel is unfair.


Absolutely!

I lost a partner years ago. She had a daughter (11). She used to write her mum letters to tell her how she was. Her real dad thought it was weird, but, as you say, there are no rules.
She grew up to be a really successful girl, it obviously helped her cope.

Wish them both well.
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Extremely moving. on 11:43 - Jan 30 with 1158 viewsLord_Lucan

Well these things happen to all sorts of people I'm afraid - every day.

People also deal with things in different ways but personally I always think of something worse and thank my lucky stars.

Edit; Although when you get to the situation itfc78 faced that is largely impossible.

One of my oldest and best friends son got killed on the way back from celebrating his brothers birthday a couple of years back. Both the kids grew up with my own family. Terrible stuff. Whenever I think things are bad I think of my mate and realise that actually, they're not.
[Post edited 30 Jan 11:50]

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Extremely moving. on 11:58 - Jan 30 with 1131 viewsGuthrum

Extremely moving. on 11:10 - Jan 30 by itfc78

I lost my 5 year old son to Acute myeloid Leukaemia in August last year. Life doesn't prepare you to deal with death and tragedy. The one thing I'm finding hard to deal with, is the question, "I don't know how you cope and carry on?"
The answer is quite simple, you don't have a choice! When people ask how I am, I tell them I'm ok? But inside, I want to say, I'm not good, I'm struggling. But that then leads to them feeling awkward.
I can fully empathise with how he is feeling. There is no rule book for dealing with death, so any criticism, I feel is unfair.


Yes, it was meant as a concern (over possible effects) than a criticism. If that's what works for them, then I wouldn't dare to suggest they shouldn't be doing it.

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Extremely moving. on 12:35 - Jan 30 with 1087 viewsITFC_Forever

Haven't read the article, but from what others have said, I assume it's Simon Thomas dealing with the loss of his wife....

Most of you will know I lost my brother 3 days before Christmas, and soon after, we had the funeral to arrange with his wife.
That's now been and gone, and everyone else (me included) has gone back to work, apart from his wife who has a 3 and nearly 5 year old to look after.
Getting back to "normal" is very hard, as "normal" has changed for us all.... and it's the silly things as well, like the number of times I pick my phone up to text him or tag him in something in FB.

Coping is difficult, I've not had any counselling and may be I will one day, but I'm not sure I'll find the answers I want to hear - nothing will bring him back.
I've tried to be "normal" at work, and I've re-commenced my running (2-3 times a week), but there are still moments which catch you off-guard and cause some dust to get in my eye.... usually when my mind is not gainfully occupied at work / at home with my own family / wasting time on here.

And I do look around when something isn't right (eg; at work) and see others getting worked up, I view it with a new perspective.... I try my best at work and at everything else I do, but I try not to let it affect me to much any more as it's not the be all and end all.
I get as frustrated as anyone at ITFC games, but I've forgotten all about it within a few minutes of walking out of the SBRL.... I guess that's one of the reasons we go, is to escape the worries of life.

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