| My open application for the now vacant role at ITFC 22:20 - Jan 10 with 2258 views | BaltachaFanClub |
As I am sure you were all expecting, my application for Ian Milnes old job...
Dear Marcus,
I would like to formally apply for the vacant role at your illustrious football club.
I have no qualifications relevant to the day to day running of a football club, however I am quite good at wearing a suit whilst looking decidedly uncomfortable.
I do however actually watch football, as opposed to clink champagne glasses with the ticket touting, arms dealing, Olympic swindling, wanted in Brazil types that I am led to believe mr Milne knew quite well, by the way, where did that tubby chap Symonds go who started with old milney?
I digress, I am proficient in dodging questions with almost political prowess, I once successfully dodged a door canvasser with the urgent need to check on my sausage rolls.
I used to be on the committee of Wenhaston United, and therefore have a firm grasp on high level sport in suffolk and surrounding areas.
As for financial and time management, I recently gave up gambling, it’s going quite well, however I would need to have assurances that Friday nights are free so I can play darts at my local.
If given the job my first task would be to get the two old boys behind my season ticket seat Ray and Rob their own muppet show style balcony box, Stadler and Waldorf would be a fine addition to your white leather clad mirrored executive suite.
I could revolutionise the catering facilities at PR, offering Des in the 78 bar a managerial role, and adding absolutely no vegan options to the menus.
Anyway, I look forward to our interview as I am learning some slight of hand magic, and I believe this level of charmed distraction could prove valuable going forward.
My closing statement is to prove that I am in touch with all generations of fans so I leave you with
“Selfie sticks, Unicorns, Teflon, Bakelite, standing on a milk crate, Tolly Cobbold, the one way system is confusing, and cucumbers” I think you’ll find it very hard to disagree with that sentiment
Yours truly
BaltachaFanClub
C.E.O of B*st*rd Son Chilli sauce and Polar Darts - Flight stockist. [Post edited 10 Jan 2019 22:24]
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| My open application for the now vacant role at ITFC on 22:27 - Jan 10 with 2221 views | wkj |
I used to be on the committee of Wenhaston United, and therefore have a firm grasp on high level sport in suffolk and surrounding areas.
Sorry Baltacha; You have sporting experience, you are over qualified |  |
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| My open application for the now vacant role at ITFC on 22:43 - Jan 10 with 2169 views | BaltachaFanClub |
| My open application for the now vacant role at ITFC on 22:27 - Jan 10 by wkj |
I used to be on the committee of Wenhaston United, and therefore have a firm grasp on high level sport in suffolk and surrounding areas.
Sorry Baltacha; You have sporting experience, you are over qualified |
Ahem! At no point did I claim to actually know what was going on !! | |
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| My open application for the now vacant role at ITFC on 08:36 - Jan 11 with 2037 views | Bluefish |
| My open application for the now vacant role at ITFC on 22:27 - Jan 10 by wkj |
I used to be on the committee of Wenhaston United, and therefore have a firm grasp on high level sport in suffolk and surrounding areas.
Sorry Baltacha; You have sporting experience, you are over qualified |
Are Wenhaston the club that Roger Osborne was connected to? |  |
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| My open application for the now vacant role at ITFC on 10:15 - Jan 11 with 1958 views | BaltachaFanClub |
| My open application for the now vacant role at ITFC on 08:36 - Jan 11 by Bluefish |
Are Wenhaston the club that Roger Osborne was connected to? |
No, he is connected to westerfield I believe | |
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| My open application for the now vacant role at ITFC on 10:28 - Jan 11 with 1936 views | Bluefish |
| My open application for the now vacant role at ITFC on 10:15 - Jan 11 by BaltachaFanClub |
No, he is connected to westerfield I believe |
Ah! Thank you I knew it was an Ipswich club beginning with W. I scored a worldie there is a Suffolk cup game
Pretty sure i played a Suffolk cup game vs wenhaston as well | |
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| My open application for the now vacant role at ITFC on 12:24 - Jan 11 with 1895 views | No9 |
Ah, the road from Wenhaston is paved with gorse, sand & stone = in no particular order
Do you know where Brazil is? |  | | |
| My open application for the now vacant role at ITFC on 12:32 - Jan 11 with 1880 views | Oxford_Blue |
Split infinitive in first line.
Dear oh dear. | | | |
| My open application for the now vacant role at ITFC on 12:34 - Jan 11 with 1877 views | Chondzoresk |
| My open application for the now vacant role at ITFC on 12:24 - Jan 11 by No9 |
Ah, the road from Wenhaston is paved with gorse, sand & stone = in no particular order
Do you know where Brazil is? |
Probably on his fourth bottle of champagne by now. |  | | |
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| My open application for the now vacant role at ITFC on 12:37 - Jan 11 with 1865 views | BaltachaFanClub |
| My open application for the now vacant role at ITFC on 12:32 - Jan 11 by Oxford_Blue |
Split infinitive in first line.
Dear oh dear. |
We all make mistakes darling, I don’t think my application will depend on that one error. | |
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| My open application for the now vacant role at ITFC on 13:25 - Jan 11 with 1824 views | Ely_Blue |
Surely this job is set up for Frimley to take over!
It’s the move he’s been waiting for to go from buying a few bibs and a couple of boxes of cheese and onion crisps in tier 8 or whatever illustrious level it is, can’t be that difficult can it, the similarities in running a club are the same at every level!! |  |
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| My open application for the now vacant role at ITFC on 13:26 - Jan 11 with 1820 views | Swansea_Blue |
| My open application for the now vacant role at ITFC on 12:37 - Jan 11 by BaltachaFanClub |
We all make mistakes darling, I don’t think my application will depend on that one error. |
Correct, you need to make many more errors to be successful at ITFC  |  |
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| My open application for the now vacant role at ITFC on 16:56 - Jan 11 with 1769 views | JammyDodgerrr |
Lost me at the line where you actually watch football. Milne did that too, for most of his life.
(Unless i'm not getting the joke..) |  |
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