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Sad news from the Nestlé factory today. 11:44 - Jan 11 with 10587 viewsSitfcB

A night shift worker was crushed beneath a case of chocolate that fell 20 feet off the storage racking.

He called for help repeatedly but every time he shouted "The Milky Bars are on me" his colleagues just cheered.

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#FridayJokeThread

COYB
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Sad news from the Nestlé factory today. on 12:03 - Jan 11 with 7254 viewstractorian

My wife was dancing on a table at the pub last night
"Good legs," the bloke next to me said.
"Do you really think so?"
"Yes, most tables would've collapsed under all that weight."
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Sad news from the Nestlé factory today. on 12:07 - Jan 11 with 7208 viewsStenvict

RIP

Such a tragic accident.

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Sad news from the Nestlé factory today. on 12:17 - Jan 11 with 7151 viewsKeno

his rescuers were really heroes, and deserves the celebration they had

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Sad news from the Nestlé factory today. on 12:17 - Jan 11 with 7153 viewsNW10_Tractor

I went out on the drink the other night and left the missus at home vigourisly polishing a old medieval jousting suit.... she always said that she wanted a night in shining armour...

Harlesden's Arrogantly Talented with the Skill Abilities And not a bad goalkeeper either....
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Sad news from the Nestlé factory today. on 12:22 - Jan 11 with 7092 viewsBrianTablet

There's a lot of guilt circulating around that factory.

His colleagues all wish they'd been Kinder to him.

"......Paul Mariner......John Wark...... Brian Tablet...errrrrrr Talbot"
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Sad news from the Nestlé factory today. on 12:24 - Jan 11 with 7075 viewsKing_of_Portman_Rd

I sat on the train on my way to work this morning opposite a stunning Thai girl. I kept thinking to myself, please don't get an erection, please don't get an erection...but she did
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Sad news from the Nestlé factory today. on 12:28 - Jan 11 with 7032 viewsfactual_blue

Sad news from the Nestlé factory today. on 12:07 - Jan 11 by Stenvict

RIP

Such a tragic accident.


Minute's silence tomorrow?

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Sad news from the Nestlé factory today. on 12:34 - Jan 11 with 6975 viewsBrianTablet

Sad news from the Nestlé factory today. on 12:28 - Jan 11 by factual_blue

Minute's silence tomorrow?


Or one minute's:

[Post edited 11 Jan 2019 12:35]

"......Paul Mariner......John Wark...... Brian Tablet...errrrrrr Talbot"
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Sad news from the Nestlé factory today. on 12:35 - Jan 11 with 6959 viewsabingdon_blue

Sad news from the Nestlé factory today. on 12:28 - Jan 11 by factual_blue

Minute's silence tomorrow?


No. Just a Twirl in the centre cirlce from the players before kick off.
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Sad news from the Nestlé factory today. on 12:43 - Jan 11 with 6896 viewsMalcolmBlue

It’s only Jan 11 and it’s already planning out as an anus horribilis

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Sad news from the Nestlé factory today. on 12:57 - Jan 11 with 6819 viewshoppy

Sad news from the Nestlé factory today. on 12:35 - Jan 11 by abingdon_blue

No. Just a Twirl in the centre cirlce from the players before kick off.


Maybe an acknowledging wispa from the Co-op Upper?

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Sad news from the Nestlé factory today. on 13:03 - Jan 11 with 6787 viewsStochesStotasBlewe

I was talking to a Norwich fan the other night about our favourite sex positions. After telling him that The Mrs favoured doggie style, he replied “ Yeah, that was mine too, but Fido has awful breath nowadays”.

We have no village green, or a shop. It's very, very quiet. I can walk to the pub.

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Sad news from the Nestlé factory today. on 13:03 - Jan 11 with 6776 viewsfactual_blue

Sad news from the Nestlé factory today. on 12:57 - Jan 11 by hoppy

Maybe an acknowledging wispa from the Co-op Upper?


It's what he would have wanted.

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Sad news from the Nestlé factory today. on 13:29 - Jan 11 with 6643 viewsWhymarkmariner

Sad news from the Nestlé factory today. on 13:03 - Jan 11 by factual_blue

It's what he would have wanted.


Someone's stolen a lorry load of viagra from Stowmarket. Police are looking for two hardened criminals.
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Sad news from the Nestlé factory today. on 13:34 - Jan 11 with 6610 viewsKing_of_Portman_Rd

My neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am this morning, can you believe that 2:30am?!
Luckily for him I was still up to practice playing my Bagpipes.
[Post edited 11 Jan 2019 13:41]
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Sad news from the Nestlé factory today. on 13:39 - Jan 11 with 6576 viewsSwansea_Blue

Sad news from the Nestlé factory today. on 13:29 - Jan 11 by Whymarkmariner

Someone's stolen a lorry load of viagra from Stowmarket. Police are looking for two hardened criminals.


A man went to the doctor’s office to get a double dose of Viagra.
The doctor told him that he couldn’t allow him a double dose.
“Why not?” asked the man.
“Because it’s not safe,” replied the doctor.
“But I need it really bad,” said the man.
“Well, why do you need it so badly?” asked the doctor.
The man said, “My girlfriend is coming into town on Friday; my ex-wife will be here on Saturday; and my wife is coming home on Sunday. Can’t you see? I must have a double dose.”
The doctor finally relented saying, “Okay, I’ll give it to you, but you have to come in on Monday morning so that I can check you to see if there are any side effects.”

On Monday, the man dragged himself in; his arm in a sling.
The doctor asked, “What happened to you?”
The man said, “No one showed up.”


(Copyright the internet)

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Sad news from the Nestlé factory today. on 13:39 - Jan 11 with 6573 viewshatch

Is it just me or are circles pointless?
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Sad news from the Nestlé factory today. on 14:40 - Jan 11 with 6403 viewsWhymarkmariner

Sad news from the Nestlé factory today. on 13:39 - Jan 11 by hatch

Is it just me or are circles pointless?


Got so drunk one night over Christmas that I sat down and ate a load of Christmas decoration. The follow day I felt really rough so I got myself down to the Doctors. He checked me out and said " You've got a touch of tinselitis.
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Sad news from the Nestlé factory today. on 14:42 - Jan 11 with 6393 viewswkj

How do you know that person didn't have a spouse and kids? Making fun of his tragic demise is something to be ashamed of - You and your upvoters need a woos... word with yourselves
[Post edited 11 Jan 2019 14:43]

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Sad news from the Nestlé factory today. on 14:55 - Jan 11 with 6330 viewshoppy

Sad news from the Nestlé factory today. on 14:42 - Jan 11 by wkj

How do you know that person didn't have a spouse and kids? Making fun of his tragic demise is something to be ashamed of - You and your upvoters need a woos... word with yourselves
[Post edited 11 Jan 2019 14:43]


I don't think he really gives a Fudge.

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Sad news from the Nestlé factory today. on 14:56 - Jan 11 with 6321 viewswkj

Sad news from the Nestlé factory today. on 14:55 - Jan 11 by hoppy

I don't think he really gives a Fudge.


At least a Fudge isn't an off Topic thing i suppose.

Crybaby
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Sad news from the Nestlé factory today. on 15:00 - Jan 11 with 6303 viewshoppy

Sad news from the Nestlé factory today. on 14:56 - Jan 11 by wkj

At least a Fudge isn't an off Topic thing i suppose.


Bounty happen tho... this is TWTD, aftereight, sorry, I mean, afterall....

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Sad news from the Nestlé factory today. on 15:01 - Jan 11 with 6297 viewsKeno

Sad news from the Nestlé factory today. on 15:00 - Jan 11 by hoppy

Bounty happen tho... this is TWTD, aftereight, sorry, I mean, afterall....


I love these threads they make me go all curly wurly

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Sad news from the Nestlé factory today. on 15:05 - Jan 11 with 6271 viewshoppy

Sad news from the Nestlé factory today. on 15:01 - Jan 11 by Keno

I love these threads they make me go all curly wurly


Be careful with your Buttons then if you've gone like that.

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Sad news from the Nestlé factory today. on 15:06 - Jan 11 with 6277 viewsjimsymBLUE

Just been up in the loft and found a Christmas present I forgot to give to my daughter this year.
Shame really, she would have loved that puppy.

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