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Sad news from the Nestlé factory today. 11:44 - Jan 11 with 4155 viewsSitfcB

A night shift worker was crushed beneath a case of chocolate that fell 20 feet off the storage racking.

He called for help repeatedly but every time he shouted "The Milky Bars are on me" his colleagues just cheered.

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Sad news from the Nestlé factory today. on 15:08 - Jan 11 with 990 viewswkj

Sad news from the Nestlé factory today. on 15:06 - Jan 11 by jimsymBLUE

Just been up in the loft and found a Christmas present I forgot to give to my daughter this year.
Shame really, she would have loved that puppy.


That was so dark is was bournville, and I laughed in person - you just gave me my first literal LoL of 2019
[Post edited 11 Jan 15:09]

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Sad news from the Nestlé factory today. on 16:20 - Jan 11 with 931 viewsstrikalite

Yeah heard this too, a woman, she was holding out for an Aero til the end of the night...
[Post edited 11 Jan 16:21]
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Sad news from the Nestlé factory today. on 16:31 - Jan 11 with 914 viewshoppy

Sad news from the Nestlé factory today. on 16:20 - Jan 11 by strikalite

Yeah heard this too, a woman, she was holding out for an Aero til the end of the night...
[Post edited 11 Jan 16:21]


The trouble is.. when actually IS the end of the night? Sometime twix midnight and morning?

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Sad news from the Nestlé factory today. on 16:33 - Jan 11 with 914 viewsfloridaboy

Two old men sitting in deckchairs, one turned to the other and said 'Nice out isn't it'. The other replied 'You had better put it away as there is a copper coming'
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Sad news from the Nestlé factory today. on 17:30 - Jan 11 with 860 viewsKeno

Sad news from the Nestlé factory today. on 16:31 - Jan 11 by hoppy

The trouble is.. when actually IS the end of the night? Sometime twix midnight and morning?


is then when you just sit reading TWTD in your snickers?

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Sad news from the Nestlé factory today. on 17:34 - Jan 11 with 851 viewsBLUEBEAT

did you hear about the perverted shepherd?





he kept mountain goats

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Sad news from the Nestlé factory today. on 17:40 - Jan 11 with 851 viewsSwansea_Blue

Man wakes up in hospital with a 9 iron wrapped around his neck and two black eyes.

As he comes round, the doc leans over and asks "So what happened to you then?".

"Well" says the man "it all started when I was playing golf with the missus. We were on the 4th tee and she hit her tee shot straight into the field of cows next to the fairway. We went to look for the ball and amazingly I saw one stuck in the backside of one of the cows. So I lifted up the cows tail and that's when I made my mistake."

The doc looks confused and asks, "What mistake was that?"

"I shouted across to the missus, 'Hey dear, this one looks like yours!"

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Sad news from the Nestlé factory today. on 17:42 - Jan 11 with 843 viewsSwansea_Blue

Sad news from the Nestlé factory today. on 17:34 - Jan 11 by BLUEBEAT

did you hear about the perverted shepherd?





he kept mountain goats



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Sad news from the Nestlé factory today. on 17:47 - Jan 11 with 838 viewsKeno

Sad news from the Nestlé factory today. on 17:34 - Jan 11 by BLUEBEAT

did you hear about the perverted shepherd?





he kept mountain goats


when to a sound of music singing dressed is a very smelly brown sheet


I was a lonely goat turd

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Sad news from the Nestlé factory today. on 19:05 - Jan 11 with 787 viewsWhymarkmariner

Sad news from the Nestlé factory today. on 17:47 - Jan 11 by Keno

when to a sound of music singing dressed is a very smelly brown sheet


I was a lonely goat turd


MAN GOES TO A FANCY DRESS PARTY IN GREEN TROUSERS AND A GREEN SHIRT WITH A GIRL ON HIS BACK. WHAT HAVE YOU COME AS SAYS ANOTHER FANCY DRESSER. I'VE COME AS A NINJA TURTLE SAYS THE MAN.WELL WHAT'S THE GIRL DOING ON YOUR BACK THEN. OH THAT'S MICHELLE.
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Sad news from the Nestlé factory today. on 19:13 - Jan 11 with 775 viewsMeadowlark

Sad news from the Nestlé factory today. on 19:05 - Jan 11 by Whymarkmariner

MAN GOES TO A FANCY DRESS PARTY IN GREEN TROUSERS AND A GREEN SHIRT WITH A GIRL ON HIS BACK. WHAT HAVE YOU COME AS SAYS ANOTHER FANCY DRESSER. I'VE COME AS A NINJA TURTLE SAYS THE MAN.WELL WHAT'S THE GIRL DOING ON YOUR BACK THEN. OH THAT'S MICHELLE.


...went to a Christmas themed fancy dress party with a pair of knickers on my head.









They were Carol's!
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Sad news from the Nestlé factory today. on 22:24 - Jan 11 with 715 viewsronnyd

Sad news from the Nestlé factory today. on 17:40 - Jan 11 by Swansea_Blue

Man wakes up in hospital with a 9 iron wrapped around his neck and two black eyes.

As he comes round, the doc leans over and asks "So what happened to you then?".

"Well" says the man "it all started when I was playing golf with the missus. We were on the 4th tee and she hit her tee shot straight into the field of cows next to the fairway. We went to look for the ball and amazingly I saw one stuck in the backside of one of the cows. So I lifted up the cows tail and that's when I made my mistake."

The doc looks confused and asks, "What mistake was that?"

"I shouted across to the missus, 'Hey dear, this one looks like yours!"


Liked that
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Sad news from the Nestlé factory today. on 23:55 - Jan 11 with 653 viewsbluejake78

Ester Rantzen came around for dinner...but stormed out when I asked her if she would like a small aperitif.
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Sad news from the Nestlé factory today. on 23:57 - Jan 11 with 653 viewsbluejake78

My Auntie Marge has gone back to hospital...I can't believe she's not butter.
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Sad news from the Nestlé factory today. on 00:24 - Jan 12 with 636 viewsSingBlue

I heard his family requested Roses for the funeral...
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Sad news from the Nestlé factory today. on 11:10 - Jan 12 with 531 viewsRIPbobby

Well done. Really enjoyed that. Love a good joke or better still a play on words. Keep them coming.
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Sad news from the Nestlé factory today. on 11:30 - Jan 12 with 517 viewsWhymarkmariner

Sad news from the Nestlé factory today. on 11:10 - Jan 12 by RIPbobby

Well done. Really enjoyed that. Love a good joke or better still a play on words. Keep them coming.


Police have found an ice cream man dead in his van covered in nuts, hundreds and thousands and strawberry and chocolate sauce. They think he topped himself.
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Sad news from the Nestlé factory today. on 12:01 - Jan 12 with 490 viewshoppy

Sad news from the Nestlé factory today. on 11:30 - Jan 12 by Whymarkmariner

Police have found an ice cream man dead in his van covered in nuts, hundreds and thousands and strawberry and chocolate sauce. They think he topped himself.


Apparently he was about to ring the police to alert them before he died, unfortunately he only got as far as the 99...
[Post edited 12 Jan 12:13]

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Sad news from the Nestlé factory today. on 13:45 - Jan 12 with 454 viewsWhymarkmariner

Sad news from the Nestlé factory today. on 12:01 - Jan 12 by hoppy

Apparently he was about to ring the police to alert them before he died, unfortunately he only got as far as the 99...
[Post edited 12 Jan 12:13]


That's a bit flaky
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