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The Warky Report: Blackburn Rovers (a) 15:04 - Jan 20 with 567 viewsWarkystache

"D'yer know" said Terry, his hands warming around a mug of tea, the steam rising from the rim like a sorceror's enchantment, "ah reckon ah've sold ten million papers since I've been 'ere in 1985?" He let the words sink in. "Ten millyon papers" he repeated, a toothy grin belying his cunning in bothering to work this out. I didn't know whether to sound impressed or not. In the end, I played it safe and said 'Mmmmm?'.

The mornings are chilly and dark and the rimes of frost made the pavements glitter. The win over Rotherham already seemed distant, like I'd watched it a century ago. We were moving, inexorably, towards the next game, with entreaties by Lambert in the papers and the signing of Alan Judge, a player whose career we nearly wrecked with a Luke Hyam tackle back when we were starting to be sh*t. I'd give anything just to be that sh*t again. It's transgressed to 'utterly hopeless' since.

In addition to useless speculation on the amount of newsprint he's sold in 34 years of early mornings, Tel also gave me the 'benefit' of his ham psychology on the people he's served it to. He did this by grouping them into the products they bought; Sun readers were "salt of the earf, bit stoopid, voted for Brexit, Tory supporters, like comfort eating, all ages but mainly workmen, over fifties, people 'oo wanna read a paper wivout 'aving to fold the bleeder". Mirror readers were " old Labour supporters, fevvered their own nests when the GLC came to power, over sixties, mostly old wimmin and retired dockers darn the East End, workin' people, 'ate the Tories but can't vote fer that Corbyn". He was ungenerous about those who read the Daily Star ("can't unnerstand The Sun, labourers on sites, like a pair of knockers wiv their news. Iss the most unsold papers I 'ave left, the Star") and more ungenerous about Guardian readers (work in local government, like to fink they're still big noos, modern lefties who live in big 'ouses and complain a lot abart the neighbours). I read the Times. He didn't bother with me. Or Telegraph readers. He just snorted and said "You aint middle-class yet bruvver". Mail readers were his favourite. "Knar where yer are wivvem. Honest, straightforward people wiv 'earts of gold". Terry doesn't take a paper 'cos he reads them all anyway, but he'd be a Mail reader if he did, he told me proudly.

He suddenly remembered his bacon bap and reached for another bite, eyes on me to gauge my reactions to this brilliant insight. Instead, i handed him the football quickslip and he rolled his eyes as he chewed, then swallowed and spat little flecks back at me as he said "I come up wiv genyus bits an' all you can fink of is the footy bet". Then he went into the back room for his pen, muttering "Chelsea won't beat Arsenal anyhow", acknowledging my first forays on 'my line' of the slip.

Work was easier. I went to London on Wednesday, drove to Newbury Park and got the Central line into Farringdon. The office, a modern mess of glass and perspex and concrete, was jammed with desks and computers, but light on staff at 8.20am. Then they trickled in, clutching reusable coffee cups and with Apple pods in ears and multi-coloured scarfs under black wool coats. My department, a mix of budgeting teams and IT, all seemingly had season tickets to Costa along with their Oyster cards. We had a meeting. They eyed the boy from the provinces with wary charm. Someone spread a rumour last week that the Birmingham office contained all the people who did redundancies, and I could see the beginnings of fear as I was introduced. I didn't say much to disprove it. Keeps 'em on their toes.

I was in Colchester the rest of the week, nice and early, savouring the short drive and the luxury of being home by five pm. I'm one of three other managers there so life is relaxed, although we eye the telephone with disfavour and are wary of our emails.

Tel was in a mood on Thursday. A late opening the day before (Mickey was sick with the flu, although Tel was adamant it was just a cold) meant that he lost out on the early commuter crowd but made it in time for the last knockings of the school run. He was alone on Thursday and Friday, although Kaylee was due in to help over the weekend. "Bleedin' cost me, that 'as" he said as I picked up the Times on Thursday morning. I sympathised and said conciliatory things like "Lot of it going about" and "time of year", but he just growled and carried on sorting the Suns. He hadn't had time for a bap or a tea, so I went for him. He was grateful. The ladies in the bakery wanted a chat, which I did but then noticed it was getting on for eight, so I paid them and wished them well. The bap was out the bag and in his gob the minute it touched the counter.

We weren't meeting on Friday night as I'd made arrangements to see some friends in Ipswich, so the pub night went for a burton. We've agreed to do the Indian again next Friday. My evening was all the poorer for the lack of Tel, but I soon got over it. It was nice to be allowed to get a word in edgeways once in a while.

Yesterday I had a day out with my dad, as my mum went on a coach trip to London to see a matinee with friends. We went to Coes for some new shirts for him, then on to Martlesham for M&S and then down the pub. The Bull in Brantham, to be exact. Great place. The owner, Paul, is a mad Town fan, and has Town paraphernalia up the walls. He also does Asahi on draft, and the best bowl of fries I've ever had in my life (and I've had many, as those of you who know me can attest). Good food, good beer and good views of the Stour. What more could you ask for? Anyway, that's my Trip Advisor bit done.

Dad was encouraging about the Town's plight; he reads the EADT regularly so is up to date on who and what we have and do. Tel would've called him a 'melancholic local who desperately wants to deny that London is encroaching on his East Anglian idyll". No he wouldn't. He forgot the EADT. Like he forgot the Express.

Anyway, we went home and I turned on the Sky Sports thing and it was 0-0 and Dad said 'great stuff, get a nil-nil there' and then seconds later they had a penalty, and then minutes later we were back with Ugly Ian Dowie and it was 2-0, and Dad raised an eyebrow and exhaled deeply, his sympathies lying with his son who said, merely, "Oh well...." and carried on pouring the whiskies we had with our afternoon coffee. And we raised a toast to better times and drank. And I cooked Dad his dinner and he helped me fix a shelf in my living room, and we watched the Arsenal game together and we ate in my dining room and talked about memories of Ipswich Town FC and why we felt Paul Lambert was the right man to get us back to some kind of equilibrium.

And Dad got his taxi so he could get home to mum before Match of the Day, and he said 'it's only one game, boy, there'll be plenty more twists and turns before it ends" and we hugged and he went. But it's always been 'one game'. It's winning the b*ggers that matters. And I'm off to Villa with a load of Villains next Saturday. What hopes? I do. I don't want them crowing all round me again.

Poll: If we were guaranteed promotion next season, how would you celebrate?
Blog: [Blog] It's Time the Club Pushed On

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The Warky Report: Blackburn Rovers (a) on 15:11 - Jan 20 with 548 viewsFtnfwest

Good one, missed tel a bit in terms of the Friday night out. Didn’t miss Blake though...shifty type by the sounds of it
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The Warky Report: Blackburn Rovers (a) on 15:12 - Jan 20 with 547 viewsWarkystache

The Warky Report: Blackburn Rovers (a) on 15:11 - Jan 20 by Ftnfwest

Good one, missed tel a bit in terms of the Friday night out. Didn’t miss Blake though...shifty type by the sounds of it


I don't miss Blake either. Apparently he went to Bournemouth yesterday. Ha ha!!

Poll: If we were guaranteed promotion next season, how would you celebrate?
Blog: [Blog] It's Time the Club Pushed On

1

The Warky Report: Blackburn Rovers (a) on 15:21 - Jan 20 with 520 viewspeterleeblue

The time with your Dad was lovely. I lost mine when he was 61. I miss him terribly and its been nearly 15 years now. Still, gave me a nice warm feeling.

Hope we win at Villa for you.
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The Warky Report: Blackburn Rovers (a) on 16:06 - Jan 20 with 461 viewsFtnfwest

The Warky Report: Blackburn Rovers (a) on 15:12 - Jan 20 by Warkystache

I don't miss Blake either. Apparently he went to Bournemouth yesterday. Ha ha!!


I forgot, the ‘l wish we were that sh*t again’ comment was the highlight! It really puts things in full perspective
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