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Best/worst excuse for a member of staff blowing out of work. 08:07 - Jun 25 with 9958 viewsACP84

Today, I had an officer blow out because and I quote "It's raining"

Quick phone call later and he's on duty.

Anyone heard better?

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Best/worst excuse for a member of staff blowing out of work. on 08:08 - Jun 25 with 4857 viewsfooters

My request for maternity leave didn't go down well.

footers QC - Prosecution Barrister, Hasketon Law Chambers
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Best/worst excuse for a member of staff blowing out of work. on 08:14 - Jun 25 with 4824 viewsballycastle

Best/worst excuse for a member of staff blowing out of work. on 08:08 - Jun 25 by footers

My request for maternity leave didn't go down well.


You must work in private sector then
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Best/worst excuse for a member of staff blowing out of work. on 08:27 - Jun 25 with 4776 viewsbluelagos

Worst one was the guy who took my car for private taxi use, crashed it, then disappeared for a fortnight (to use it as a taxi / fix it / return it) telling me he was off to "the village" for his wife's funeral.

Unfortunately for him, one of his passengers recognised my car (ITFC sticker) and it was also spotted round Lagos. When he returned, with cr*p repair to bumper,cheeky fugger even asked me for a contribution for his wife's funeral expenses.

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Best/worst excuse for a member of staff blowing out of work. on 08:36 - Jun 25 with 4746 viewsbluelagos

Another strange one, was when all my staff who had children at the local school (In Liberia) started getting phone calls that they had to get to the school to pick up their kids, due to the white dwarves. They looked genuinely scared and told me that the white dwarves were very dangerous. Had little choice than to let them sort it out, they were petrified.

The next day, when I checked that all was good, it transpired that the white dwarves had been spotted on the school roof, and so all the kids were in fact getting a second day off school. Apparently they were very dangerous and basically killed children whenever they could.

Lot more effective than just letting off the fire alarms to get out of RE.

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Best/worst excuse for a member of staff blowing out of work. on 08:57 - Jun 25 with 4671 viewsGlasgowBlue

I had a girl not turn up for her shift a few years ago due to taking a bad E. Or ecky as she called it.
[Post edited 25 Jun 2019 8:58]

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Best/worst excuse for a member of staff blowing out of work. on 09:09 - Jun 25 with 4621 viewsBiGDonnie

One of mine called this morning...

"Ahhhh Default, I hit the gym hard last night and my back hurts can I work from home and be paid"

I said lad, my back has hurt every day for the last 15 years, join the club.

It's a no from me.

I love to shag cups.
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Best/worst excuse for a member of staff blowing out of work. on 09:30 - Jun 25 with 4560 viewsChurchman

Many years ago (last century) we had a woman not turn up for work because she’d been stabbed in the chest with a carving knife by her husband during the night.

Lightweight
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Best/worst excuse for a member of staff blowing out of work. on 09:39 - Jun 25 with 4537 viewsEssexBlue2

Few years ago a guy called in to say his brother had died and he would be off a few days. When he returned I spoke to him and asked when the funeral was. His answer was that it was ten years ago but he always gets depressed and goes on a bender around the anniversary!

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Best/worst excuse for a member of staff blowing out of work. on 09:44 - Jun 25 with 4521 viewstomo

Having worked in construction recruitment for nearly a decade I’ve had every excuse under the sun.

- Mum has died, only for the mum to call back and make her son apologise having overheard the conversation.
- ‘Shat my pants on the bus’
- shins were too hot (No short policy on site)
- loads of still f*ck*d from the night before.
- too hot
- too cold
- the work was too hard
- work was too easy

I get one of these and many more weekly
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Best/worst excuse for a member of staff blowing out of work. on 10:06 - Jun 25 with 4432 viewsGeoffSentence

It's no the excuse that stand out in these examples but the social media fwckwittery that attends them.

1. Girl who cried off work with PMS for two days, only to blast pictures and comments about the shopping trips she went on all over facebook, and of course she was FB friends with people from work.

Even better

2. Woman who took 3 months off sick and in that time set up a facebook page to flog some sort of herbal supplement stuff and extolled its virtues by claiming that she used it and had never felt better.

Number 2 was in the NHS, had only just started and took 3 months off sick during her probationary period. Surprisingly they didn't just ditch her at the end of the period, instead they exended it.

Out damned scot Out I say
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Best/worst excuse for a member of staff blowing out of work. on 10:13 - Jun 25 with 4406 viewsyorkshireblue

Best/worst excuse for a member of staff blowing out of work. on 10:06 - Jun 25 by GeoffSentence

It's no the excuse that stand out in these examples but the social media fwckwittery that attends them.

1. Girl who cried off work with PMS for two days, only to blast pictures and comments about the shopping trips she went on all over facebook, and of course she was FB friends with people from work.

Even better

2. Woman who took 3 months off sick and in that time set up a facebook page to flog some sort of herbal supplement stuff and extolled its virtues by claiming that she used it and had never felt better.

Number 2 was in the NHS, had only just started and took 3 months off sick during her probationary period. Surprisingly they didn't just ditch her at the end of the period, instead they exended it.


Regards to number 1 - social media is one thing, but TV is another. When I was at school one of my teachers was off sick... but was actually a contestant on The Weakest Link.

I've also had someone ring in as it was raining and they didn't get wet.

No to me, but someone at a place I used to work rang in to say they wouldn't be in as they had no ironed shirts. The MD rang them back and told them to come in wearing a t-shirt. They left soon after.
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Best/worst excuse for a member of staff blowing out of work. on 10:14 - Jun 25 with 4400 viewsJ2BLUE

Childcare. It was the magic bullet at my previous company. If you were childless they basically thought they had first dibs on all your time. If you had a child you could call in at the last minute saying your child was ill or you couldn't get childcare and it was fine, no worries. If you were childless no excuse was good enough to refuse covering extra shifts and it was a real battle every week.

Typical fortnightly conversation:

"we need you to cover a shift on Saturday"
"I have worked the last three, i'm not working this one"
"You're going to have to"
"Why can't xxxx or xxxx do it?"
"They can't get childcare"
"They can't get childcare for any of the rubbish shifts or any weekends..."
"So we will need you to cover"
"No. I'm not doing it. I'm going to xxxxxxxxx"
"We really need cover"
"I can't do it, sorry"
"I'll see what I can do and get back to you"

*one of them was always able to get childcare if pushed a little bit*

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Best/worst excuse for a member of staff blowing out of work. on 10:22 - Jun 25 with 4364 viewsGuthrum

One place I worked there was a blanket prohibition imposed upon being ill on a Friday or Monday, due to this one girl who called in sick before and/or after almost every weekend.

Good Lord! Whatever is it?
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Best/worst excuse for a member of staff blowing out of work. on 10:24 - Jun 25 with 4348 viewsJ2BLUE

Best/worst excuse for a member of staff blowing out of work. on 10:22 - Jun 25 by Guthrum

One place I worked there was a blanket prohibition imposed upon being ill on a Friday or Monday, due to this one girl who called in sick before and/or after almost every weekend.


At my last company they banned anyone working both Saturday and Sunday because someone emptied half of the safe on a Saturday and half on a Sunday and went home to Africa. I said it was a stupid policy as I could just take have of the safe on a Monday and half on a Tuesday.

They really did come up with some incredibly stupid ideas.

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Best/worst excuse for a member of staff blowing out of work. on 11:10 - Jun 25 with 4249 viewsDebsyAngel

Lots where I used to work.

One woman couldn't come in because her husband was up A&E because he had given up smoking?! She got away with it!

Another woman said her brother had tried to commit suicide - which would been fair enough but she didn;t HAVE a brother. Again, she got away with it.

Yet when I phoned in or had to go home genuinely ill, I was treated like a skiver or putting it on.
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Best/worst excuse for a member of staff blowing out of work. on 11:12 - Jun 25 with 4239 viewsGeoffSentence

Best/worst excuse for a member of staff blowing out of work. on 11:10 - Jun 25 by DebsyAngel

Lots where I used to work.

One woman couldn't come in because her husband was up A&E because he had given up smoking?! She got away with it!

Another woman said her brother had tried to commit suicide - which would been fair enough but she didn;t HAVE a brother. Again, she got away with it.

Yet when I phoned in or had to go home genuinely ill, I was treated like a skiver or putting it on.


You probably didn't go big enough. Next time you feel a bit groggy and don't fancy going in to work, tell them you have had your leg amputated and need a few days off to recover.

Out damned scot Out I say
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Best/worst excuse for a member of staff blowing out of work. on 11:14 - Jun 25 with 4222 viewsDebsyAngel

Best/worst excuse for a member of staff blowing out of work. on 11:12 - Jun 25 by GeoffSentence

You probably didn't go big enough. Next time you feel a bit groggy and don't fancy going in to work, tell them you have had your leg amputated and need a few days off to recover.


Thankfully I left that place 8 years ago when they made me so ill that I had a breakdown and nearly jumped off a 4th floor balcony. Got my Dad to pick me up and went to the Doctors where he told me to resign for the sakes of my health.
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Best/worst excuse for a member of staff blowing out of work. on 11:18 - Jun 25 with 4215 viewsjontysnut

used to work with someone who commuted from the Isle of Wight. Sometimes adverse weather meant he could get the hovercraft but one day he phoned to say he couldn't get in due to military exercises in the Solent
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Best/worst excuse for a member of staff blowing out of work. on 11:30 - Jun 25 with 4156 viewsWarkTheWarkITFC

We had someone who drove down from Kent on a Monday and went back on a Friday (to Ipswich) who confirmed they were stuck in traffic on a Thursday after needing to go straight home the night before for a family issue.

They messaged in good time 7.30am or something when they would have been on the way from Kent. The traffic all checked out and it was gridlocked on their route.

Unfortunately someone from the office spotted they'd been posting pictures of them on Facebook at 11pm the night before looking the worse for wear in Passage To India. The curry house in Ipswich.

To make matters worse for them (as if this wasn't damning enough) they'd got drunk with two other people from our office, who had already been saying how completely smashed he'd got before they knew he'd call in sick.

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Best/worst excuse for a member of staff blowing out of work. on 11:32 - Jun 25 with 4147 viewswkj

I was up all weekend binge watching wrestle manias

Crybaby
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Best/worst excuse for a member of staff blowing out of work. on 11:37 - Jun 25 with 4128 viewsGeoffSentence

Best/worst excuse for a member of staff blowing out of work. on 11:14 - Jun 25 by DebsyAngel

Thankfully I left that place 8 years ago when they made me so ill that I had a breakdown and nearly jumped off a 4th floor balcony. Got my Dad to pick me up and went to the Doctors where he told me to resign for the sakes of my health.


Keroist. Thank feck you did. No job is worth feeling like that.

Out damned scot Out I say
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Best/worst excuse for a member of staff blowing out of work. on 11:42 - Jun 25 with 4096 viewsWarkTheWarkITFC

Best/worst excuse for a member of staff blowing out of work. on 11:10 - Jun 25 by DebsyAngel

Lots where I used to work.

One woman couldn't come in because her husband was up A&E because he had given up smoking?! She got away with it!

Another woman said her brother had tried to commit suicide - which would been fair enough but she didn;t HAVE a brother. Again, she got away with it.

Yet when I phoned in or had to go home genuinely ill, I was treated like a skiver or putting it on.


I remember being genuinely aggrieved when there was heavy snow about 10 years back.

I worked 30 miles away and got to the office at 11am, two hours late to find that 8 people out of 15 were in.

Of the 8 that made it, 5 of us came the furthest distance to the office.

Of the 7 that didn't get in, 3 of them were in walking distance of the office, on a bus route, which was still running.

One used the excuse her car couldn't get up a hill near the cul de sac she lived. As I say, she lived on a bus route and it would have taken her 20 minutes to walk in those conditions.

Everyone that didn't bother got full pay. The ones that made it didn't even get to leave early when more snow was predicted. One of the few times I have been genuinely fuming at work.

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Best/worst excuse for a member of staff blowing out of work. on 11:54 - Jun 25 with 4048 viewsGeoffSentence

Best/worst excuse for a member of staff blowing out of work. on 11:42 - Jun 25 by WarkTheWarkITFC

I remember being genuinely aggrieved when there was heavy snow about 10 years back.

I worked 30 miles away and got to the office at 11am, two hours late to find that 8 people out of 15 were in.

Of the 8 that made it, 5 of us came the furthest distance to the office.

Of the 7 that didn't get in, 3 of them were in walking distance of the office, on a bus route, which was still running.

One used the excuse her car couldn't get up a hill near the cul de sac she lived. As I say, she lived on a bus route and it would have taken her 20 minutes to walk in those conditions.

Everyone that didn't bother got full pay. The ones that made it didn't even get to leave early when more snow was predicted. One of the few times I have been genuinely fuming at work.


Similar for me 6 years ago. I live 120 mile fom my office and this was one occasion that I had to go in.

When I got there none of the locals were in because it had been snowing.

Though to be fair I suppose it wasn't snowing at my end and it was only the last 20 or 30 miles to the office where there was any significant snow.

Out damned scot Out I say
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Best/worst excuse for a member of staff blowing out of work. on 11:59 - Jun 25 with 4023 viewsSE1blue

When working as a supply teacher in London, I was never told why someone was off sick but you could tell the fakers as they would have detailed lesson plans ready and waiting for the cover. I would sometimes find evidence in their classroom of their little lies too - mostly on their laptops when setting up a lesson.

I’ve seen email confirmations for weekends in Ibiza and Amsterdam, last minute matinee theatre bookings and spa day confirmations.

My favourite was a woman who left her Facebook page open and as I opened up her laptop to find a PowerPoint, I witnessed a conversation between her and her mate saying how dumb the deputy head was to believe her and then she basically slagged off half the staff I’d be spending the day with.

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Best/worst excuse for a member of staff blowing out of work. on 12:00 - Jun 25 with 4014 viewschicoazul

Best/worst excuse for a member of staff blowing out of work. on 08:08 - Jun 25 by footers

My request for maternity leave didn't go down well.


You may well laugh but it wont be long before maternity and paternity leave doesnt exist and it all becomes parental leave, and men and women will be entitled to the same amount.

Edited out by TWTD admin despite me having it for months without anyone crying about it
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