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Crap jokes thread 09:59 - Nov 15 with 4302 viewsDubtractor

I wonder if Chic ever got rid of that free cow in the end?

I was born underwater, I dried out in the sun. I started humping volcanoes baby, when I was too young.
Poll: How confident are you of promotion now? Predicted final position...

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Crap jokes thread on 10:02 - Nov 15 with 3929 viewsITFC_Forever

Did that star ever fall for Boy Meets Girl. They've been waiting a long time now....

P 1123, W 500, D 287, L 336, F 1704, A 1356
Blog: Confessions of a Statto - Why We Bother

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Crap jokes thread on 10:16 - Nov 15 with 3896 viewsWeWereZombies

So Yes have a shed that is miles from anywhere, why should we care that it is broken too...

Poll: How will we get fourteen points from the last five games ?

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Crap jokes thread on 10:17 - Nov 15 with 3894 viewschicoazul

Why was Jesus such a big hit with the ladies?


///spreads arms really wide


Because he was hung like this.

In the spirit of reconciliation and happiness at the end of the Banter Era (RIP) and as a result of promotion I have cleared out my ignore list. Look forwards to reading your posts!
Poll: With Evans taking 65% in Huddersfield, is the Banter Era over?

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Crap jokes thread on 10:18 - Nov 15 with 3885 viewsStokieBlue

How do you get Pikachu on a bus?

Poke-him-on.

SB

Avatar - IC410 - Tadpoles Nebula

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Crap jokes thread on 12:25 - Nov 15 with 3788 viewsSaleAway

So this baby seal walks into a club.......

Poll: Which is less impressive?
Blog: Phoenix From the Flames

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Crap jokes thread on 12:28 - Nov 15 with 3782 viewsSuperblue95

Crap jokes thread on 10:18 - Nov 15 by StokieBlue

How do you get Pikachu on a bus?

Poke-him-on.

SB


Very similar but arguably worse one:

How do you make Lady Gaga cry?

Poke-her-face.

My hobbies include being quiet during trips, clapping with songs, and diabetes.
Poll: Englands player of the tournament

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Crap jokes thread on 12:31 - Nov 15 with 3775 viewshoppy

What was happening at the river that was so good that both Al Green and Talking Heads wanted to be taken there?

Poll: Which Which nickname for ITFC do you prefer? poll do you prefer?
Blog: Graphical Blog: I Feel the Need...

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Crap jokes thread on 15:19 - Nov 15 with 3682 viewsjontysnut

Crap jokes thread on 12:25 - Nov 15 by SaleAway

So this baby seal walks into a club.......


so I said to this bloke what do you think about seal clubbing. He said he should knock it on the head and start making some decent records.
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Crap jokes thread on 00:05 - Nov 16 with 3560 viewsbadadski

Crap jokes thread on 15:19 - Nov 15 by jontysnut

so I said to this bloke what do you think about seal clubbing. He said he should knock it on the head and start making some decent records.


Why do Scuba Divers always fall out of the boat backwards?

because If they fell forwards they would land in the boat.
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Crap jokes thread on 07:23 - Nov 16 with 3479 viewsbluelagos

Why are Elephants big, grey with big ears?

Cos if they were small, white and round, they'd be aspirins.

Poll: This new lockdown poll - what you reckon?

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Crap jokes thread on 07:37 - Nov 16 with 3466 viewsKeaneish

Did you hear about the magic tractor that turned into a field?

Poll: Who would be your managerial preference between these two?
Blog: [Blog] £2.65 Million and Waiting?

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Crap jokes thread on 07:39 - Nov 16 with 3466 viewsWD19

So one snowman says to another...

“Is it just me, or can you smell carrots?”
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Crap jokes thread on 12:17 - Nov 16 with 3384 viewspimballwizard

Crap jokes thread on 12:25 - Nov 15 by SaleAway

So this baby seal walks into a club.......


We all know that a baby seal's favourite drink is Canadian Club on the rocks...
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Crap jokes thread on 12:20 - Nov 16 with 3381 viewsSuperblue95

What did the big phone say to the little phone?

You’re too young to be engaged

My hobbies include being quiet during trips, clapping with songs, and diabetes.
Poll: Englands player of the tournament

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Crap jokes thread on 12:33 - Nov 16 with 3373 viewspimballwizard

Crap 80s joke.

What is worse than Olivia Newton John in Grease ?

Come on Eileen..

Dexys midnite runners
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Crap jokes thread on 13:11 - Nov 16 with 3350 viewsfabian_illness

How did the lady get out of the hole?

She had a ladder in her tights.
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Crap jokes thread on 15:07 - Nov 16 with 3285 viewscaught-in-limbo

Although its literally a crap joke, it's a good one:



Why did the baker have brown hands?

Because he kneaded a poo.

#toxic
Poll: BREXIT - Hard, soft, phantom ...

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Crap jokes thread on 15:25 - Nov 16 with 3274 viewsWD19

Crap jokes thread on 15:07 - Nov 16 by caught-in-limbo

Although its literally a crap joke, it's a good one:



Why did the baker have brown hands?

Because he kneaded a poo.


No unrelated to the classic....

“What’s brown and sticky?”


A stick.
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Crap jokes thread on 15:28 - Nov 16 with 3267 viewscaught-in-limbo

Crap jokes thread on 15:25 - Nov 16 by WD19

No unrelated to the classic....

“What’s brown and sticky?”


A stick.


In my childhood days that was always accompanied by:

"What's pink and hard?"

"A pig with a flick knife."

#toxic
Poll: BREXIT - Hard, soft, phantom ...

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Crap jokes thread on 15:45 - Nov 16 with 3253 viewsDarth_Koont

Two goldfish are in a tank.

One turns to the other and says, "Do you know how to drive this thing?"

Pronouns: He/Him

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Crap jokes thread on 15:45 - Nov 16 with 3248 viewshoppy

Crap jokes thread on 15:28 - Nov 16 by caught-in-limbo

In my childhood days that was always accompanied by:

"What's pink and hard?"

"A pig with a flick knife."


What’s pink, wrinkly and hangs out your pants?


Your mum putting the washing on the line.

Poll: Which Which nickname for ITFC do you prefer? poll do you prefer?
Blog: Graphical Blog: I Feel the Need...

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Crap jokes thread on 15:58 - Nov 16 with 3225 viewsuefacup81

Crap jokes thread on 12:33 - Nov 16 by pimballwizard

Crap 80s joke.

What is worse than Olivia Newton John in Grease ?

Come on Eileen..

Dexys midnite runners


What did they play at the orgy after Come On Eileen?

Wipe Down Eileen.

Poll: Predictions for tonight?

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Crap jokes thread on 00:19 - Nov 17 with 3130 viewsbazgammon

Michael Caine goes to a big Hollywood house party in California at the height of his fame in the late 60's, at the Playboy Mansion. All the Hollywood acting great's are there and music's great's too, all the famous band's of that era.

Michael arrives with his girlfriend. After a few drinks and some mingling, she suddenly disappears, nowhere to be found. After an hour Michael eventually finds her. "Where the hell have you been? I've been looking for you for ages" asks Michael. "Well I was down in the grotto with a load of musicians and we were partying and having a good time and because I am such a huge fan of them all I gave oral sex to all of The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, The Monkees, The Walker Brothers and The Kinks!!" "You stupid tart" says Michael "You're only supposed to blow the bloody Doors off!!!"

Poll: Lambert

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Crap jokes thread on 09:30 - Nov 17 with 3040 viewsBanksterDebtSlave

Crap jokes thread on 12:20 - Nov 16 by Superblue95

What did the big phone say to the little phone?

You’re too young to be engaged


Someone pulled their Christmas cracker early.

"They break our legs and tell us to be grateful when they offer us crutches."
Poll: If the choice is Moore or no more.

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Crap jokes thread on 09:59 - Nov 17 with 3023 viewsGaryCooper

Crap jokes thread on 07:37 - Nov 16 by Keaneish

Did you hear about the magic tractor that turned into a field?


A harrowing experience.
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