| boris's fifty pages of guidance summarised for you 15:24 - May 14 with 855 views | factual_blue |
- 4 year olds can go to school but university students who have paid for their tuition and the accommodation that they aren’t living in, can’t go back to university.
- I can go to school with many 4 year olds that I’m not related to but can’t see one 4 year old that I am related to.
- I can sit in a park, but not tomorrow or Tuesday but by Wednesday that’ll be fine.
- I can meet one person from another household for a chat or to sunbathe but not two people so if I know two people from another household I have to pick my favourite. Hopefully, I’m also their favourite person from my household or this could be awkward. But possibly I’m not. In fact, thinking about it, I definitely wouldn’t be. But as I can’t go closer than 2m to the one I choose anyway so you wouldn’t think having the other one sat next to them would matter - unless two people would restrict my eyeline too much and prevent me from being alert.
- I can work all day with my colleagues but I can’t sit in their garden for a chat after work.
- I can now do unlimited exercise when quite frankly just doing an hour a day felt like I was some kind of fitness guru. I can think of lots of things that I would like to be unlimited but exercise definitely isn’t one of them.
- I can drive to other destinations although which destinations is unclear. I was supposed to be in Brighton this weekend. Can I drive there? It’s hundreds of miles away but no one has said that’s wrong.
- The buses are still running past my house but I shouldn’t get on one. We should just let empty buses drive around so bus drivers aren’t doing nothing.
- It will soon be time to quarantine people coming into the country by air... but not yet. It’s too soon. And not ever if you’re coming from France because... well, I don’t know why, actually. Because the French version of coronavirus wouldn’t come to the UK maybe.
- Our youngest children go back to school first because... they are notoriously good at not touching things they shouldn’t, maintain personal space at all times and never randomly lick you.
- We are somewhere in between 3.5 and 4.5 on a five point scale where 5 is all of the virus and 1 is none of the virus but 2,3 and 4 can be anything you’d like it to be really. Some of the virus? A bit of the virus? Just enough virus to see off those over 70s who were told to self isolate but now we’ve realised that they’ve done that a bit too well despite us offloading coronavirus patients into care homes and now we are claiming that was never said in the first place, even though it’s in writing in the stay at home guidance.
- The slogan isn’t stay at home any more. So we don’t have to stay at home. Except we do. Unless we can’t. In which case we should go out. But there will be fines if we break the rules. So don’t do that.
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| boris's fifty pages of guidance summarised for you on 15:37 - May 14 with 794 views | Keno |
I can have complete strangers and an estate agent in my house, but not my son or daughter
I can pay a cleaner to come in my house and my daughter can pay a child minder to look after her kids. So I'm paying her £50 to come and clean and tomorrow she will pay me £50 to look after her kids. |  |
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| boris's fifty pages of guidance summarised for you on 15:40 - May 14 with 784 views | GeoffSentence |
Facters, facters, facters, you've been cribbing off Facebook haven't you.
Come on admit it. |  |
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| boris's fifty pages of guidance summarised for you on 15:54 - May 14 with 753 views | longtimefan |
My son has had his 3rd term accommodation charge cancelled now he’s living at home. This term was also just revision and exams anyway so he’s not really missed out much as the revision sessions were done online, as are his exams, which he’s started this week. Having just received his maintenance grant for this term he’s now flush! |  | | |
| boris's fifty pages of guidance summarised for you on 18:40 - May 14 with 627 views | factual_blue |
| boris's fifty pages of guidance summarised for you on 15:40 - May 14 by GeoffSentence |
Facters, facters, facters, you've been cribbing off Facebook haven't you.
Come on admit it. |
A friend e-mailed it to Mrs Factual. I have no idea of its provenance.
But it may be useful to throw that tidbit into my application for the head of misinformation job that faceybook is advertising. | |
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| boris's fifty pages of guidance summarised for you on 18:43 - May 14 with 621 views | factual_blue |
| boris's fifty pages of guidance summarised for you on 15:37 - May 14 by Keno |
I can have complete strangers and an estate agent in my house, but not my son or daughter
I can pay a cleaner to come in my house and my daughter can pay a child minder to look after her kids. So I'm paying her £50 to come and clean and tomorrow she will pay me £50 to look after her kids. |
Or your son could set up business as an estate agent and show his sister around your house. | |
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| boris's fifty pages of guidance summarised for you on 18:52 - May 14 with 602 views | jeera |
The bloke who was fined for driving to London for a loaf of bread must be right pissed-off. |  |
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| boris's fifty pages of guidance summarised for you on 20:11 - May 14 with 557 views | Keno |
| boris's fifty pages of guidance summarised for you on 18:43 - May 14 by factual_blue |
Or your son could set up business as an estate agent and show his sister around your house. |
Even I wouldn’t stoop as low as pretending to an estate agent!!
I have some dignity, admittedly not much but some | |
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| boris's fifty pages of guidance summarised for you on 20:13 - May 14 with 551 views | GeoffSentence |
| boris's fifty pages of guidance summarised for you on 18:40 - May 14 by factual_blue |
A friend e-mailed it to Mrs Factual. I have no idea of its provenance.
But it may be useful to throw that tidbit into my application for the head of misinformation job that faceybook is advertising. |
It has certainly been doing the rounds on FB. I think you have been dabbling on the sly. | |
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| boris's fifty pages of guidance summarised for you on 20:30 - May 14 with 527 views | jas0999 |
Not sure about this. Set out to be 100% negative. Not sure that is the case. | | | |
| boris's fifty pages of guidance summarised for you on 20:54 - May 14 with 510 views | Swansea_Blue |
| boris's fifty pages of guidance summarised for you on 20:30 - May 14 by jas0999 |
Not sure about this. Set out to be 100% negative. Not sure that is the case. |
Just rather counterintuitive and confusing. It's a bit weird that you can meet 1 person from another household in a public space, but not two. That makes no sense at all.
Not that I have to worry, as our guidelines are still very clear over here in Wales. It's a lot easier. [Post edited 14 May 2020 21:04]
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