| Best Ever Wind Up. 13:19 - Aug 5 with 2735 views | StochesStotasBlewe |
Just read about Libby’s Uncle Dave on the food offerings thread, gave me a chuckle and wondered what was the best wind up folk on here have had played on them.
When I became a self employed gardener, had been going for about 6 months when I received a call on a withheld number. The gentleman on the other end spoke with an Irish accent and asked if I would come to tend his large garden in the house he had recently moved into. I said I would like to come over to give him a price and asked for his name and address. Roy Keane near Woodbridge was the response. Said he would ring with sat nav details and suitable time later in the week. Feeling a bit smug, I eagerly waited for the call which came a few days later, and details were duly noted. Day in question came and off I set, only to arrive at Melton lakes car park, and a waiting committee of the missus and her family, one of whom had a bit of a talent for impersonating accents.
I look back now and think thank God it was a wind up. |  |
| We have no village green, or a shop.
It's very, very quiet.
I can walk to the pub. |
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| Best Ever Wind Up. on 13:22 - Aug 5 with 2721 views | Steve_M |
There was the time a local newspaper published the contents of a running joke on a football message board as, err, factual. |  |
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| Best Ever Wind Up. on 13:37 - Aug 5 with 2666 views | jaykay |
you are in good company, even souness fell for that trick. Ali Dia |  |
| forensic experts say footers and spruces fingerprints were not found at the scene after the weekends rows |
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| Best Ever Wind Up. on 14:04 - Aug 5 with 2629 views | bluelagos |
So I was working in Monrovia, Liberia when a new colleague started. An Irish girl from the countryside who when asked what she had been doing prior to taking a job with the mob I was with, told me she had been a "bull teaser" in rural Ireland.
The job was collecting bull semen for use in impregnating cows. I had heard they used a turkey baster to impregnate but had no idea how the semen was collected. She explained how she would "manually assist" the bull to ejaculate and basically catch it in pot before it was frozen.
I pushed on her job description, and she said they held up pictures of cows to get the bulls aroused, basically w@nked them off and job done, they had their extremely valuable semen.
For years, when discussing "worst ever job" I'd throw in the story of the girl who w@nked off bulls for a living. How the semen was worth £000s and that it was important to do it without losing any if possible.
At a mate's stag (7 years later) in Northern Ireland I told the story to some farm workers, who fell about laughing. Apparently the semen is collected by using a syringe to extract it. Fooking idiot doesn't come close to how I felt. |  |
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| Best Ever Wind Up. on 14:08 - Aug 5 with 2608 views | EJP |
| Best Ever Wind Up. on 13:22 - Aug 5 by Steve_M |
There was the time a local newspaper published the contents of a running joke on a football message board as, err, factual. |
I remember it, but can’t remember the details. I want to say it had something to do with Ian Westlake... |  | | |
| Best Ever Wind Up. on 14:28 - Aug 5 with 2571 views | Steve_M |
| Best Ever Wind Up. on 14:08 - Aug 5 by EJP |
I remember it, but can’t remember the details. I want to say it had something to do with Ian Westlake... |
Ha, I forgot about that one. Bully getting Deckchair to ring Wigan to ask if they were signing Ian Westlake.
I was going for Potholegate. | |
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| Best Ever Wind Up. (n/t) on 17:40 - Aug 5 with 2430 views | Ryorry |
[Post edited 5 Aug 2020 19:21]
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| Best Ever Wind Up. on 12:02 - Aug 18 with 2065 views | Libero |
I missed this first time around, I'll have to tell my old man that people enjoyed his prank.
Back when we were touring up and down the country playing in various bands, I used to be considered a bit of a practical joker, which essentially means I was a pr1ck.
Most of my stories aren't really palatable for public consumption, but this one is a doozey, it's farcical to the point that I probably wouldn't believe it if I was told it, fortunately there are posters on the board who are aware of this tale and can confirm it's legit (TIB, maybe millsy if he's still posting? think callis knows too)
We were playing in Kingston, one of my best mates was at Uni in Wycombe and he came to see us play, warning us that he might have to get off early as he had an exam the next day at Uni.
I managed to get his name added to the free bar, so when he arrived we gave him a nice green wristband and told him that he could eat and drink whatever he wanted for the evening, I knew it meant we would be able to coax him into getting absolutely steaming.
Anyway, sure enough he drinks himself silly, spends the entire night at the show having the time of his life. It gets to like one o'clock in the morning and he realises he can't get a train back to Wycombe.
"Don't worry mate, we'll make a detour and drop you off on the drive tonight..."
He knew we were playing Southampton the next day, but there he is sat in the back of the van chatting away, reading road signs for some reason, reeling off all the place names.
"Guildford! I went to a gig in Guildford last month" - the van fell silent, we thought we'd been rumbled, nope, off her goes again, chattering about something else with the merch man.
He's absolutely slaughtered and starts telling the whole van how happy he was that things are going well for us and what good blokes we all are, he's really opening up and being really sincere and sweet, saying that it's great how we "look after your friends" Unfortunately this earnest and sincere moment just made what was about to happen all the funnier...
This goes on for about 30 minutes after Guildford, then he starts asking questions of the driver, driver deflects the questions away with ease by shouting back a reply and then telling him that he can't hear him because of the music.
Then it happens, he glances out the window and spots a sign..
"Southampton... you're playing Southampton tomorrow aren't you..."
*dead silence from everyone in the van.
"I'm not going home, am I?"
all 7 of us erupt into raucous immature laughter.
I'd planned for this event, packing him spare clothes and buying him underwear - someone hurls the bag from the back of the van at his head "you'll be needing these!"
He rifles through the bag, still pissed out of his mind, laughing but with his head in his hands.
Long story short, we managed to keep him on the tour for another 5 days, but my favourite part of the prank wasn't the kidnapping, it was this little bit of mind bending...
I knew that when he went to University his Mum or Dad would drop him off in Wycombe, he only ever got a train from Wycombe to come back to Suffolk.
About two days in he's sat round the table with us and starts saying that it's been a laugh and that but enough's enough, he's going to get a train home.
"But, [name redacted] trains don't go to Wycombe, they only leave..."
He looked me dead in the eyes stunned and responded "F*ck, you're right!"
How I didn't crack up I do not know.
It got to the point where everyone we met knew what was happening except him, it became really hard to not just spend all day laughing at everything he did or said.
Another couple of days pass and his housemate who is on his course rings him asking him where he is, said that he's been reported missing.
My mate regales him with the tale, finally getting to the bit where he say's "and of course, no trains go to Wycombe, so I'm stranded until they can take me home at the end of the tour!"
Watching his face melt as his housemate told him that he had been duped was hysterical, as he was holding the conversation he crouched down onto his haunches put the phone on the pavement on loud speaker and his head in his hands and asked his friend to repeat what he had just said...
When his housemate again confirmed that trains indeed go to Wycombe as well as leaving he laid on the pavement and scurried around in a circle ala' Homer Simpson, making inaudible noises while he lost his sh1t.
We paid for his train home, obviously.
Yes, he failed the module and had to retake it, but when you speak to him about it now he doesn't regret it at all.
All expenses paid, fed and watered every night, got to see a good number of bands he loves and hang out with friends for a little under a week doing something he never thought he would get the chance to do.
He was my best man at my Wedding, he told this story (much better than I ever could) and has gone on to have a really successful career in sound production despite having to retake the module, all's well that end's well. [Post edited 18 Aug 2020 12:06]
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| Best Ever Wind Up. on 13:27 - Aug 18 with 1962 views | TIB |
| Best Ever Wind Up. on 12:02 - Aug 18 by Libero |
I missed this first time around, I'll have to tell my old man that people enjoyed his prank.
Back when we were touring up and down the country playing in various bands, I used to be considered a bit of a practical joker, which essentially means I was a pr1ck.
Most of my stories aren't really palatable for public consumption, but this one is a doozey, it's farcical to the point that I probably wouldn't believe it if I was told it, fortunately there are posters on the board who are aware of this tale and can confirm it's legit (TIB, maybe millsy if he's still posting? think callis knows too)
We were playing in Kingston, one of my best mates was at Uni in Wycombe and he came to see us play, warning us that he might have to get off early as he had an exam the next day at Uni.
I managed to get his name added to the free bar, so when he arrived we gave him a nice green wristband and told him that he could eat and drink whatever he wanted for the evening, I knew it meant we would be able to coax him into getting absolutely steaming.
Anyway, sure enough he drinks himself silly, spends the entire night at the show having the time of his life. It gets to like one o'clock in the morning and he realises he can't get a train back to Wycombe.
"Don't worry mate, we'll make a detour and drop you off on the drive tonight..."
He knew we were playing Southampton the next day, but there he is sat in the back of the van chatting away, reading road signs for some reason, reeling off all the place names.
"Guildford! I went to a gig in Guildford last month" - the van fell silent, we thought we'd been rumbled, nope, off her goes again, chattering about something else with the merch man.
He's absolutely slaughtered and starts telling the whole van how happy he was that things are going well for us and what good blokes we all are, he's really opening up and being really sincere and sweet, saying that it's great how we "look after your friends" Unfortunately this earnest and sincere moment just made what was about to happen all the funnier...
This goes on for about 30 minutes after Guildford, then he starts asking questions of the driver, driver deflects the questions away with ease by shouting back a reply and then telling him that he can't hear him because of the music.
Then it happens, he glances out the window and spots a sign..
"Southampton... you're playing Southampton tomorrow aren't you..."
*dead silence from everyone in the van.
"I'm not going home, am I?"
all 7 of us erupt into raucous immature laughter.
I'd planned for this event, packing him spare clothes and buying him underwear - someone hurls the bag from the back of the van at his head "you'll be needing these!"
He rifles through the bag, still pissed out of his mind, laughing but with his head in his hands.
Long story short, we managed to keep him on the tour for another 5 days, but my favourite part of the prank wasn't the kidnapping, it was this little bit of mind bending...
I knew that when he went to University his Mum or Dad would drop him off in Wycombe, he only ever got a train from Wycombe to come back to Suffolk.
About two days in he's sat round the table with us and starts saying that it's been a laugh and that but enough's enough, he's going to get a train home.
"But, [name redacted] trains don't go to Wycombe, they only leave..."
He looked me dead in the eyes stunned and responded "F*ck, you're right!"
How I didn't crack up I do not know.
It got to the point where everyone we met knew what was happening except him, it became really hard to not just spend all day laughing at everything he did or said.
Another couple of days pass and his housemate who is on his course rings him asking him where he is, said that he's been reported missing.
My mate regales him with the tale, finally getting to the bit where he say's "and of course, no trains go to Wycombe, so I'm stranded until they can take me home at the end of the tour!"
Watching his face melt as his housemate told him that he had been duped was hysterical, as he was holding the conversation he crouched down onto his haunches put the phone on the pavement on loud speaker and his head in his hands and asked his friend to repeat what he had just said...
When his housemate again confirmed that trains indeed go to Wycombe as well as leaving he laid on the pavement and scurried around in a circle ala' Homer Simpson, making inaudible noises while he lost his sh1t.
We paid for his train home, obviously.
Yes, he failed the module and had to retake it, but when you speak to him about it now he doesn't regret it at all.
All expenses paid, fed and watered every night, got to see a good number of bands he loves and hang out with friends for a little under a week doing something he never thought he would get the chance to do.
He was my best man at my Wedding, he told this story (much better than I ever could) and has gone on to have a really successful career in sound production despite having to retake the module, all's well that end's well. [Post edited 18 Aug 2020 12:06]
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Absolutely priceless. |  |
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| Best Ever Wind Up. on 13:34 - Aug 18 with 1945 views | Libero |
| Best Ever Wind Up. on 13:27 - Aug 18 by TIB |
Absolutely priceless. |
Oh to be young again.
I see you were jaunting off across the country in your van with a couple of mates again recently, lucky bar steward. | | | |
| Best Ever Wind Up. on 13:42 - Aug 18 with 1919 views | TIB |
| Best Ever Wind Up. on 13:34 - Aug 18 by Libero |
Oh to be young again.
I see you were jaunting off across the country in your van with a couple of mates again recently, lucky bar steward. |
Ha!!! A few days off was much needed as my brain has felt on the brink of explosion for a while now!!! Weather was bang on. Scotland on a sunny day is hard to beat...minus the midges. Back to work now though. | |
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| Best Ever Wind Up. on 13:43 - Aug 18 with 1916 views | ArnoldMoorhen |
| Best Ever Wind Up. on 12:02 - Aug 18 by Libero |
I missed this first time around, I'll have to tell my old man that people enjoyed his prank.
Back when we were touring up and down the country playing in various bands, I used to be considered a bit of a practical joker, which essentially means I was a pr1ck.
Most of my stories aren't really palatable for public consumption, but this one is a doozey, it's farcical to the point that I probably wouldn't believe it if I was told it, fortunately there are posters on the board who are aware of this tale and can confirm it's legit (TIB, maybe millsy if he's still posting? think callis knows too)
We were playing in Kingston, one of my best mates was at Uni in Wycombe and he came to see us play, warning us that he might have to get off early as he had an exam the next day at Uni.
I managed to get his name added to the free bar, so when he arrived we gave him a nice green wristband and told him that he could eat and drink whatever he wanted for the evening, I knew it meant we would be able to coax him into getting absolutely steaming.
Anyway, sure enough he drinks himself silly, spends the entire night at the show having the time of his life. It gets to like one o'clock in the morning and he realises he can't get a train back to Wycombe.
"Don't worry mate, we'll make a detour and drop you off on the drive tonight..."
He knew we were playing Southampton the next day, but there he is sat in the back of the van chatting away, reading road signs for some reason, reeling off all the place names.
"Guildford! I went to a gig in Guildford last month" - the van fell silent, we thought we'd been rumbled, nope, off her goes again, chattering about something else with the merch man.
He's absolutely slaughtered and starts telling the whole van how happy he was that things are going well for us and what good blokes we all are, he's really opening up and being really sincere and sweet, saying that it's great how we "look after your friends" Unfortunately this earnest and sincere moment just made what was about to happen all the funnier...
This goes on for about 30 minutes after Guildford, then he starts asking questions of the driver, driver deflects the questions away with ease by shouting back a reply and then telling him that he can't hear him because of the music.
Then it happens, he glances out the window and spots a sign..
"Southampton... you're playing Southampton tomorrow aren't you..."
*dead silence from everyone in the van.
"I'm not going home, am I?"
all 7 of us erupt into raucous immature laughter.
I'd planned for this event, packing him spare clothes and buying him underwear - someone hurls the bag from the back of the van at his head "you'll be needing these!"
He rifles through the bag, still pissed out of his mind, laughing but with his head in his hands.
Long story short, we managed to keep him on the tour for another 5 days, but my favourite part of the prank wasn't the kidnapping, it was this little bit of mind bending...
I knew that when he went to University his Mum or Dad would drop him off in Wycombe, he only ever got a train from Wycombe to come back to Suffolk.
About two days in he's sat round the table with us and starts saying that it's been a laugh and that but enough's enough, he's going to get a train home.
"But, [name redacted] trains don't go to Wycombe, they only leave..."
He looked me dead in the eyes stunned and responded "F*ck, you're right!"
How I didn't crack up I do not know.
It got to the point where everyone we met knew what was happening except him, it became really hard to not just spend all day laughing at everything he did or said.
Another couple of days pass and his housemate who is on his course rings him asking him where he is, said that he's been reported missing.
My mate regales him with the tale, finally getting to the bit where he say's "and of course, no trains go to Wycombe, so I'm stranded until they can take me home at the end of the tour!"
Watching his face melt as his housemate told him that he had been duped was hysterical, as he was holding the conversation he crouched down onto his haunches put the phone on the pavement on loud speaker and his head in his hands and asked his friend to repeat what he had just said...
When his housemate again confirmed that trains indeed go to Wycombe as well as leaving he laid on the pavement and scurried around in a circle ala' Homer Simpson, making inaudible noises while he lost his sh1t.
We paid for his train home, obviously.
Yes, he failed the module and had to retake it, but when you speak to him about it now he doesn't regret it at all.
All expenses paid, fed and watered every night, got to see a good number of bands he loves and hang out with friends for a little under a week doing something he never thought he would get the chance to do.
He was my best man at my Wedding, he told this story (much better than I ever could) and has gone on to have a really successful career in sound production despite having to retake the module, all's well that end's well. [Post edited 18 Aug 2020 12:06]
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Well, you told it pretty well yourself, so I can only imagine that it must have brought the house down at your wedding when he was telling it about himself! |  | | |
| Best Ever Wind Up. on 13:50 - Aug 18 with 1900 views | Ewan_Oozami |
| Best Ever Wind Up. on 12:02 - Aug 18 by Libero |
I missed this first time around, I'll have to tell my old man that people enjoyed his prank.
Back when we were touring up and down the country playing in various bands, I used to be considered a bit of a practical joker, which essentially means I was a pr1ck.
Most of my stories aren't really palatable for public consumption, but this one is a doozey, it's farcical to the point that I probably wouldn't believe it if I was told it, fortunately there are posters on the board who are aware of this tale and can confirm it's legit (TIB, maybe millsy if he's still posting? think callis knows too)
We were playing in Kingston, one of my best mates was at Uni in Wycombe and he came to see us play, warning us that he might have to get off early as he had an exam the next day at Uni.
I managed to get his name added to the free bar, so when he arrived we gave him a nice green wristband and told him that he could eat and drink whatever he wanted for the evening, I knew it meant we would be able to coax him into getting absolutely steaming.
Anyway, sure enough he drinks himself silly, spends the entire night at the show having the time of his life. It gets to like one o'clock in the morning and he realises he can't get a train back to Wycombe.
"Don't worry mate, we'll make a detour and drop you off on the drive tonight..."
He knew we were playing Southampton the next day, but there he is sat in the back of the van chatting away, reading road signs for some reason, reeling off all the place names.
"Guildford! I went to a gig in Guildford last month" - the van fell silent, we thought we'd been rumbled, nope, off her goes again, chattering about something else with the merch man.
He's absolutely slaughtered and starts telling the whole van how happy he was that things are going well for us and what good blokes we all are, he's really opening up and being really sincere and sweet, saying that it's great how we "look after your friends" Unfortunately this earnest and sincere moment just made what was about to happen all the funnier...
This goes on for about 30 minutes after Guildford, then he starts asking questions of the driver, driver deflects the questions away with ease by shouting back a reply and then telling him that he can't hear him because of the music.
Then it happens, he glances out the window and spots a sign..
"Southampton... you're playing Southampton tomorrow aren't you..."
*dead silence from everyone in the van.
"I'm not going home, am I?"
all 7 of us erupt into raucous immature laughter.
I'd planned for this event, packing him spare clothes and buying him underwear - someone hurls the bag from the back of the van at his head "you'll be needing these!"
He rifles through the bag, still pissed out of his mind, laughing but with his head in his hands.
Long story short, we managed to keep him on the tour for another 5 days, but my favourite part of the prank wasn't the kidnapping, it was this little bit of mind bending...
I knew that when he went to University his Mum or Dad would drop him off in Wycombe, he only ever got a train from Wycombe to come back to Suffolk.
About two days in he's sat round the table with us and starts saying that it's been a laugh and that but enough's enough, he's going to get a train home.
"But, [name redacted] trains don't go to Wycombe, they only leave..."
He looked me dead in the eyes stunned and responded "F*ck, you're right!"
How I didn't crack up I do not know.
It got to the point where everyone we met knew what was happening except him, it became really hard to not just spend all day laughing at everything he did or said.
Another couple of days pass and his housemate who is on his course rings him asking him where he is, said that he's been reported missing.
My mate regales him with the tale, finally getting to the bit where he say's "and of course, no trains go to Wycombe, so I'm stranded until they can take me home at the end of the tour!"
Watching his face melt as his housemate told him that he had been duped was hysterical, as he was holding the conversation he crouched down onto his haunches put the phone on the pavement on loud speaker and his head in his hands and asked his friend to repeat what he had just said...
When his housemate again confirmed that trains indeed go to Wycombe as well as leaving he laid on the pavement and scurried around in a circle ala' Homer Simpson, making inaudible noises while he lost his sh1t.
We paid for his train home, obviously.
Yes, he failed the module and had to retake it, but when you speak to him about it now he doesn't regret it at all.
All expenses paid, fed and watered every night, got to see a good number of bands he loves and hang out with friends for a little under a week doing something he never thought he would get the chance to do.
He was my best man at my Wedding, he told this story (much better than I ever could) and has gone on to have a really successful career in sound production despite having to retake the module, all's well that end's well. [Post edited 18 Aug 2020 12:06]
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Admit it, you just wanted a cheap roadie for a few days! :-)
When you were auditioning for drummers did you ever do the "You've got to to play your kit the other way round as our previous drummer was left handed and that's the only way we can play the songs" thing?
If they laughed and told us to eff off, they'd passed the first part of the audition! If they didn't..... |  |
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| Best Ever Wind Up. on 13:55 - Aug 18 with 1886 views | Steve_M |
| Best Ever Wind Up. on 12:02 - Aug 18 by Libero |
I missed this first time around, I'll have to tell my old man that people enjoyed his prank.
Back when we were touring up and down the country playing in various bands, I used to be considered a bit of a practical joker, which essentially means I was a pr1ck.
Most of my stories aren't really palatable for public consumption, but this one is a doozey, it's farcical to the point that I probably wouldn't believe it if I was told it, fortunately there are posters on the board who are aware of this tale and can confirm it's legit (TIB, maybe millsy if he's still posting? think callis knows too)
We were playing in Kingston, one of my best mates was at Uni in Wycombe and he came to see us play, warning us that he might have to get off early as he had an exam the next day at Uni.
I managed to get his name added to the free bar, so when he arrived we gave him a nice green wristband and told him that he could eat and drink whatever he wanted for the evening, I knew it meant we would be able to coax him into getting absolutely steaming.
Anyway, sure enough he drinks himself silly, spends the entire night at the show having the time of his life. It gets to like one o'clock in the morning and he realises he can't get a train back to Wycombe.
"Don't worry mate, we'll make a detour and drop you off on the drive tonight..."
He knew we were playing Southampton the next day, but there he is sat in the back of the van chatting away, reading road signs for some reason, reeling off all the place names.
"Guildford! I went to a gig in Guildford last month" - the van fell silent, we thought we'd been rumbled, nope, off her goes again, chattering about something else with the merch man.
He's absolutely slaughtered and starts telling the whole van how happy he was that things are going well for us and what good blokes we all are, he's really opening up and being really sincere and sweet, saying that it's great how we "look after your friends" Unfortunately this earnest and sincere moment just made what was about to happen all the funnier...
This goes on for about 30 minutes after Guildford, then he starts asking questions of the driver, driver deflects the questions away with ease by shouting back a reply and then telling him that he can't hear him because of the music.
Then it happens, he glances out the window and spots a sign..
"Southampton... you're playing Southampton tomorrow aren't you..."
*dead silence from everyone in the van.
"I'm not going home, am I?"
all 7 of us erupt into raucous immature laughter.
I'd planned for this event, packing him spare clothes and buying him underwear - someone hurls the bag from the back of the van at his head "you'll be needing these!"
He rifles through the bag, still pissed out of his mind, laughing but with his head in his hands.
Long story short, we managed to keep him on the tour for another 5 days, but my favourite part of the prank wasn't the kidnapping, it was this little bit of mind bending...
I knew that when he went to University his Mum or Dad would drop him off in Wycombe, he only ever got a train from Wycombe to come back to Suffolk.
About two days in he's sat round the table with us and starts saying that it's been a laugh and that but enough's enough, he's going to get a train home.
"But, [name redacted] trains don't go to Wycombe, they only leave..."
He looked me dead in the eyes stunned and responded "F*ck, you're right!"
How I didn't crack up I do not know.
It got to the point where everyone we met knew what was happening except him, it became really hard to not just spend all day laughing at everything he did or said.
Another couple of days pass and his housemate who is on his course rings him asking him where he is, said that he's been reported missing.
My mate regales him with the tale, finally getting to the bit where he say's "and of course, no trains go to Wycombe, so I'm stranded until they can take me home at the end of the tour!"
Watching his face melt as his housemate told him that he had been duped was hysterical, as he was holding the conversation he crouched down onto his haunches put the phone on the pavement on loud speaker and his head in his hands and asked his friend to repeat what he had just said...
When his housemate again confirmed that trains indeed go to Wycombe as well as leaving he laid on the pavement and scurried around in a circle ala' Homer Simpson, making inaudible noises while he lost his sh1t.
We paid for his train home, obviously.
Yes, he failed the module and had to retake it, but when you speak to him about it now he doesn't regret it at all.
All expenses paid, fed and watered every night, got to see a good number of bands he loves and hang out with friends for a little under a week doing something he never thought he would get the chance to do.
He was my best man at my Wedding, he told this story (much better than I ever could) and has gone on to have a really successful career in sound production despite having to retake the module, all's well that end's well. [Post edited 18 Aug 2020 12:06]
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Reminds me of another one.
A few years ago we had a young bloke in the team, first job a little bit easy to wind up. Anyway he was due to spend a day or two on a tanker, sailing from Milford Haven to northern France. After the vessel sailed we got the Master to tell him it had been diverted to Bonny, Nigeria.
The only pity was that no one was there to see his reaction but whoever took a phone call from him shortly afterwards found it hard not to laugh. | |
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| Best Ever Wind Up. on 14:01 - Aug 18 with 1868 views | Libero |
| Best Ever Wind Up. on 13:50 - Aug 18 by Ewan_Oozami |
Admit it, you just wanted a cheap roadie for a few days! :-)
When you were auditioning for drummers did you ever do the "You've got to to play your kit the other way round as our previous drummer was left handed and that's the only way we can play the songs" thing?
If they laughed and told us to eff off, they'd passed the first part of the audition! If they didn't..... |
We already had crew with us mate, I just love screwing him over, I've always been able to get in his head for some reason, which has meant I've influenced him to do some absolutely horrendous things.
Actually, the very last thing I did to him that put him in a bind was make him my best man, he wasn't really in the running as although we're good friends he'd spent the last year or so before I got married starting his career in London and we'd grown apart for the first time since childhood, he is great at performance/public speaking but he suffers from incredibly high anxiety and nerves, so it really was the cherry on the cake to have him speak on the quality (or lack there of) of the groom.
Really gutted no one got his speech on video, but it will live long in the memory for those who were there. | | | |
| Best Ever Wind Up. on 14:05 - Aug 18 with 1854 views | Libero |
| Best Ever Wind Up. on 13:42 - Aug 18 by TIB |
Ha!!! A few days off was much needed as my brain has felt on the brink of explosion for a while now!!! Weather was bang on. Scotland on a sunny day is hard to beat...minus the midges. Back to work now though. |
Pictures looked great, buh.
I can relate to the ole brain explosion, I'm wrecking my head at work and then obviously have the bairn to go home to, so it's a bit full on at the moment.
Would love to take a drive to somewhere remote and just go for a walk for a couple of days, alas, no. | | | |
| Best Ever Wind Up. on 14:16 - Aug 18 with 1828 views | Ewan_Oozami |
| Best Ever Wind Up. on 14:01 - Aug 18 by Libero |
We already had crew with us mate, I just love screwing him over, I've always been able to get in his head for some reason, which has meant I've influenced him to do some absolutely horrendous things.
Actually, the very last thing I did to him that put him in a bind was make him my best man, he wasn't really in the running as although we're good friends he'd spent the last year or so before I got married starting his career in London and we'd grown apart for the first time since childhood, he is great at performance/public speaking but he suffers from incredibly high anxiety and nerves, so it really was the cherry on the cake to have him speak on the quality (or lack there of) of the groom.
Really gutted no one got his speech on video, but it will live long in the memory for those who were there. |
So you're Ricky Gervais to his Karl Pilkington? :-) | |
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| Best Ever Wind Up. on 14:29 - Aug 18 with 1803 views | Libero |
| Best Ever Wind Up. on 14:16 - Aug 18 by Ewan_Oozami |
So you're Ricky Gervais to his Karl Pilkington? :-) |
I can see that, although with more love. | | | |
| Best Ever Wind Up. on 14:32 - Aug 18 with 1798 views | hype313 |
| Best Ever Wind Up. on 12:02 - Aug 18 by Libero |
I missed this first time around, I'll have to tell my old man that people enjoyed his prank.
Back when we were touring up and down the country playing in various bands, I used to be considered a bit of a practical joker, which essentially means I was a pr1ck.
Most of my stories aren't really palatable for public consumption, but this one is a doozey, it's farcical to the point that I probably wouldn't believe it if I was told it, fortunately there are posters on the board who are aware of this tale and can confirm it's legit (TIB, maybe millsy if he's still posting? think callis knows too)
We were playing in Kingston, one of my best mates was at Uni in Wycombe and he came to see us play, warning us that he might have to get off early as he had an exam the next day at Uni.
I managed to get his name added to the free bar, so when he arrived we gave him a nice green wristband and told him that he could eat and drink whatever he wanted for the evening, I knew it meant we would be able to coax him into getting absolutely steaming.
Anyway, sure enough he drinks himself silly, spends the entire night at the show having the time of his life. It gets to like one o'clock in the morning and he realises he can't get a train back to Wycombe.
"Don't worry mate, we'll make a detour and drop you off on the drive tonight..."
He knew we were playing Southampton the next day, but there he is sat in the back of the van chatting away, reading road signs for some reason, reeling off all the place names.
"Guildford! I went to a gig in Guildford last month" - the van fell silent, we thought we'd been rumbled, nope, off her goes again, chattering about something else with the merch man.
He's absolutely slaughtered and starts telling the whole van how happy he was that things are going well for us and what good blokes we all are, he's really opening up and being really sincere and sweet, saying that it's great how we "look after your friends" Unfortunately this earnest and sincere moment just made what was about to happen all the funnier...
This goes on for about 30 minutes after Guildford, then he starts asking questions of the driver, driver deflects the questions away with ease by shouting back a reply and then telling him that he can't hear him because of the music.
Then it happens, he glances out the window and spots a sign..
"Southampton... you're playing Southampton tomorrow aren't you..."
*dead silence from everyone in the van.
"I'm not going home, am I?"
all 7 of us erupt into raucous immature laughter.
I'd planned for this event, packing him spare clothes and buying him underwear - someone hurls the bag from the back of the van at his head "you'll be needing these!"
He rifles through the bag, still pissed out of his mind, laughing but with his head in his hands.
Long story short, we managed to keep him on the tour for another 5 days, but my favourite part of the prank wasn't the kidnapping, it was this little bit of mind bending...
I knew that when he went to University his Mum or Dad would drop him off in Wycombe, he only ever got a train from Wycombe to come back to Suffolk.
About two days in he's sat round the table with us and starts saying that it's been a laugh and that but enough's enough, he's going to get a train home.
"But, [name redacted] trains don't go to Wycombe, they only leave..."
He looked me dead in the eyes stunned and responded "F*ck, you're right!"
How I didn't crack up I do not know.
It got to the point where everyone we met knew what was happening except him, it became really hard to not just spend all day laughing at everything he did or said.
Another couple of days pass and his housemate who is on his course rings him asking him where he is, said that he's been reported missing.
My mate regales him with the tale, finally getting to the bit where he say's "and of course, no trains go to Wycombe, so I'm stranded until they can take me home at the end of the tour!"
Watching his face melt as his housemate told him that he had been duped was hysterical, as he was holding the conversation he crouched down onto his haunches put the phone on the pavement on loud speaker and his head in his hands and asked his friend to repeat what he had just said...
When his housemate again confirmed that trains indeed go to Wycombe as well as leaving he laid on the pavement and scurried around in a circle ala' Homer Simpson, making inaudible noises while he lost his sh1t.
We paid for his train home, obviously.
Yes, he failed the module and had to retake it, but when you speak to him about it now he doesn't regret it at all.
All expenses paid, fed and watered every night, got to see a good number of bands he loves and hang out with friends for a little under a week doing something he never thought he would get the chance to do.
He was my best man at my Wedding, he told this story (much better than I ever could) and has gone on to have a really successful career in sound production despite having to retake the module, all's well that end's well. [Post edited 18 Aug 2020 12:06]
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Gold. |  |
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| Best Ever Wind Up. on 09:45 - Aug 19 with 1675 views | Libero |
| Best Ever Wind Up. on 14:32 - Aug 18 by hype313 |
Gold. |
I got a text this morning from the man in question asking if I'd been talking about this on an Ipswich Town forum, turns out one of his work mates is an Ipswich supporter based in London who read this, make yourself known! | | | |
| Best Ever Wind Up. on 10:29 - Aug 19 with 1644 views | hype313 |
| Best Ever Wind Up. on 09:45 - Aug 19 by Libero |
I got a text this morning from the man in question asking if I'd been talking about this on an Ipswich Town forum, turns out one of his work mates is an Ipswich supporter based in London who read this, make yourself known! |
Ha! In the words of Shaggy "It wasn't me" | |
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| Best Ever Wind Up. on 10:45 - Aug 19 with 1625 views | soupytwist |
When I was about 11 I went on my first Scouts’ patrol camp where you camped for the weekend at a local Scouts campsite with other members of the Scout troop but no adults. We stayed up well past my bedtime on the first night but still got up early on Saturday morning. Come Saturday early afternoon I was knackered and went for a snooze in the tent. When I woke up my fellow campers managed to convince me that I had slept all through to Sunday morning. As it was Sunday morning there would be a short church service at the site campfire circle which we had to send someone along to. I was given the task so put on my uniform and made my way there.
I hadn’t realised that it was actually still Saturday so I sat at the allotted spot for a good couple of hours waiting until I realised that as it was getting dark it probably wasn’t Sunday morning. I then made my way back to our own tents rather sheepishly to face the mickey taking. |  | | |
| Best Ever Wind Up. on 11:49 - Aug 19 with 1574 views | hampstead_blue |
| Best Ever Wind Up. on 13:37 - Aug 5 by jaykay |
you are in good company, even souness fell for that trick. Ali Dia |
That was a blinder! |  |
| Assumption is to make an ass out of you and me.
Those who assume they know you, when they don't are just guessing.
Those who assume and insist they know are daft and in denial.
Those who assume, insist, and deny the truth are plain stupid.
Those who assume, insist, deny the truth and tell YOU they know you (when they don't) have an IQ in the range of 35-49.
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