You are not allowed in a pub if you re under 5'11", unless you own a cat. (as long as the cat isn't ginger, obviously)
You are not allowed through a McDonalds, unless you drive a blue, white or black car.
You are not allowed to watch any tv channels other than Quest and Dave, unless you are wearing an orange t-shirt.
You are only allowed to have chicken for your Sunday roast, unless you have a shoe size of 10 for men or 7 for women.
You are only allowed to drink tea or water all day, unless you have a 6th toe.
You are only allowed out of the house if you are dressed as a turkey.
You can only have a chocolate bar if it is in a paper bag with green writing on it.
You are not allowed to go to bed before 11 pm, unless you can touch your ear with your tongue.
Have a good day. |  |
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