Please log in or register. Registered visitors get fewer ads.
Forum index | Previous Thread | Next thread
I’ve had a hell of a week 21:14 - Aug 19 with 6242 viewsNewcyBlue

Rumours were going round the fleet of no crew available for relieving those of us on board, followed by emails surfacing saying those of us on board won’t be relieved until we are over 60 days past our extended service date.

For me that’s 4 months +60 days. Which means I will miss the birth of the twins. It also means I will be lucky to be home in 2020.

It also means our Filipino ratings will be on board for at least 11 months.

Today MrsN went for a scan. Twin 2 hasn’t grown as well as it should have. We are now looking at 2 scans a week to monitor. It could be that T2 is just smaller, there’s a blood restriction, or downs.

It’s all been a bit stressful, I’ve barely slept.

I’ve smashed a gym session tonight. I feel better for it.

Poll: Who has been the best Bond?

0
I’ve had a hell of a week on 09:31 - Sep 1 with 780 viewsWeWereZombies

I’ve had a hell of a week on 00:48 - Sep 1 by NewcyBlue

The only thing I can control is how I react.

The rest is out of my control.

We have Pirates to steer clear of for the next few weeks, we have cargo to discharge and load.

I have vowed to leave my problems in my cabin. I can’t be giving people a hard time due to not dealing with my emotions.

I’ve been building the gym equipment that we received, I am trying to get the crew’s karaoke machine working for them. If I can keep improving stuff on board then I can say that my energy has been of a positive use.

I am getting messages from other Brits who are moaning about not having relief. They have been away the same sort of time as me. I must admit to telling them I think they are pathetic. I’m not demanding to be relieved. I know there are people who have been onboard for a long time and haven’t seen their families for months, some more than a year.

I’m still hopeful that our crewing are sympathetic enough to my situation though. But I won’t be demanding anything. Unless something awful happens.

I really appreciate the support from everyone. I’ve had messages from former posters too who have looked in. I really can’t say how much it means to me. I’ve told MrsN that you’re all wonderful people.


The commitment that merchant seaman give to their occupation is now at the level that servicemen and women give when they join the armed forces it seems. I admire your ability to suppress your personal situation and do constructive activity. It is the type of thing many of us resolve to do, or think we would do in your situation, but then let slide. Just watch out for the signs of bottling things up too much and then exploding, one of us might just be able to cope with an explosive PM if you feel the need to do that, better to do that virtually rather than on a fellow crew member.

One very good thing you have done is wake some of us up to how much hardship is being undergone by sailors of all races to bring half of the goods we mull over in the supermarket to us.

Poll: Luton or Dubai ?

6
I’ve had a hell of a week on 03:34 - Sep 3 with 730 viewsNewcyBlue

I’ll just keep updating this thread.

MrsN was home for two nights. At least I think it was two. It could have been one. They’re all blurring into one for me at the moment.

I had just finished doing a safety inspection and was informing the responsible person when my watch buzzed and the message started “I don’t want to worry you but....”

Another bleed. When I asked how bad, she replied “it’s a decent one”. Damned midwife. I worry her experience and knowledge as a midwife makes her less cautious. I then remember we have sunk £12000 into IVF to get where we are. She’s taking no risks.

The next message I get is that she’s in an ambulance and they went to put a cannula in, and she bled all over. It seems the blood thinners she had been put on are still in her system. She put it down to that.

She got to hospital, was examined. They started treating her as if one of her waters had broken. They weren’t sure. So they gave her a steroid to help the twins’ lungs in case she delivers.

An exam finds the cervix closed. But they still carry on for treating waters broken. A trace is put on, which ends up looking like contractions. MrsN says she’s not convinced. She’s cool as a cucumber. She’s annoyed at herself for taking the blood thinners she said she should have been Midwife MrsN and said no. Instead she was patient MrsN and said yes. I told her it’s ok, the twins were scanned and found to be ok. She’s ok. It seems the bleeding is from the placenta which is low and over the cervix.

Anyway, we now don’t know how long she’s in for. Probably until delivery. Unless a consultant is happy to discharge. Knowing her, she will be pushing for the latter.

I think this is more stressful than when she gave me a running commentary of the last miscarriage she had when I was at sea.

She kept apologising for telling me and worrying me. Even when faced with uncertainty about the twins, something we have worked so hard for and she has wanted so much, she thinks about others.

She’s really quite an incredible woman, and I will never be able to find the words to tell her so.

As for me, I’m still leaving my troubles in the cabin, although I take them to the gym with me and absolutely cane myself in the gym.

We have passed Dakar, and are heading down towards Ghana. I emailed crewing over two weeks ago to confirm if they would be able relieve me or not. There has been no reply. We only have one port on this route that we can do crew changes in. That’s Spain. They’re introducing new rules.

All the best TWTD. Give your family an extra hug, because I can’t. (Mine not yours).

Poll: Who has been the best Bond?

2
I’ve had a hell of a week on 03:48 - Sep 3 with 723 viewsYallop

I’ve had a hell of a week on 03:34 - Sep 3 by NewcyBlue

I’ll just keep updating this thread.

MrsN was home for two nights. At least I think it was two. It could have been one. They’re all blurring into one for me at the moment.

I had just finished doing a safety inspection and was informing the responsible person when my watch buzzed and the message started “I don’t want to worry you but....”

Another bleed. When I asked how bad, she replied “it’s a decent one”. Damned midwife. I worry her experience and knowledge as a midwife makes her less cautious. I then remember we have sunk £12000 into IVF to get where we are. She’s taking no risks.

The next message I get is that she’s in an ambulance and they went to put a cannula in, and she bled all over. It seems the blood thinners she had been put on are still in her system. She put it down to that.

She got to hospital, was examined. They started treating her as if one of her waters had broken. They weren’t sure. So they gave her a steroid to help the twins’ lungs in case she delivers.

An exam finds the cervix closed. But they still carry on for treating waters broken. A trace is put on, which ends up looking like contractions. MrsN says she’s not convinced. She’s cool as a cucumber. She’s annoyed at herself for taking the blood thinners she said she should have been Midwife MrsN and said no. Instead she was patient MrsN and said yes. I told her it’s ok, the twins were scanned and found to be ok. She’s ok. It seems the bleeding is from the placenta which is low and over the cervix.

Anyway, we now don’t know how long she’s in for. Probably until delivery. Unless a consultant is happy to discharge. Knowing her, she will be pushing for the latter.

I think this is more stressful than when she gave me a running commentary of the last miscarriage she had when I was at sea.

She kept apologising for telling me and worrying me. Even when faced with uncertainty about the twins, something we have worked so hard for and she has wanted so much, she thinks about others.

She’s really quite an incredible woman, and I will never be able to find the words to tell her so.

As for me, I’m still leaving my troubles in the cabin, although I take them to the gym with me and absolutely cane myself in the gym.

We have passed Dakar, and are heading down towards Ghana. I emailed crewing over two weeks ago to confirm if they would be able relieve me or not. There has been no reply. We only have one port on this route that we can do crew changes in. That’s Spain. They’re introducing new rules.

All the best TWTD. Give your family an extra hug, because I can’t. (Mine not yours).


All the very best to you and your family mate. You deserve all the luck in the world
2
I’ve had a hell of a week on 03:50 - Sep 3 with 719 viewshoppy

I’ve had a hell of a week on 03:34 - Sep 3 by NewcyBlue

I’ll just keep updating this thread.

MrsN was home for two nights. At least I think it was two. It could have been one. They’re all blurring into one for me at the moment.

I had just finished doing a safety inspection and was informing the responsible person when my watch buzzed and the message started “I don’t want to worry you but....”

Another bleed. When I asked how bad, she replied “it’s a decent one”. Damned midwife. I worry her experience and knowledge as a midwife makes her less cautious. I then remember we have sunk £12000 into IVF to get where we are. She’s taking no risks.

The next message I get is that she’s in an ambulance and they went to put a cannula in, and she bled all over. It seems the blood thinners she had been put on are still in her system. She put it down to that.

She got to hospital, was examined. They started treating her as if one of her waters had broken. They weren’t sure. So they gave her a steroid to help the twins’ lungs in case she delivers.

An exam finds the cervix closed. But they still carry on for treating waters broken. A trace is put on, which ends up looking like contractions. MrsN says she’s not convinced. She’s cool as a cucumber. She’s annoyed at herself for taking the blood thinners she said she should have been Midwife MrsN and said no. Instead she was patient MrsN and said yes. I told her it’s ok, the twins were scanned and found to be ok. She’s ok. It seems the bleeding is from the placenta which is low and over the cervix.

Anyway, we now don’t know how long she’s in for. Probably until delivery. Unless a consultant is happy to discharge. Knowing her, she will be pushing for the latter.

I think this is more stressful than when she gave me a running commentary of the last miscarriage she had when I was at sea.

She kept apologising for telling me and worrying me. Even when faced with uncertainty about the twins, something we have worked so hard for and she has wanted so much, she thinks about others.

She’s really quite an incredible woman, and I will never be able to find the words to tell her so.

As for me, I’m still leaving my troubles in the cabin, although I take them to the gym with me and absolutely cane myself in the gym.

We have passed Dakar, and are heading down towards Ghana. I emailed crewing over two weeks ago to confirm if they would be able relieve me or not. There has been no reply. We only have one port on this route that we can do crew changes in. That’s Spain. They’re introducing new rules.

All the best TWTD. Give your family an extra hug, because I can’t. (Mine not yours).


Oh mate, really feel for you. Must be so hard, but we’re all right behind you, and MrsN and your twins.
Hope you hear positive news on all fronts soon - from the hospital, MrsN and crewing as well.

Stay safe in body and mind. Thinking of you.

Poll: Which Which nickname for ITFC do you prefer? poll do you prefer?
Blog: Graphical Blog: I Feel the Need...

2
I’ve had a hell of a week on 05:51 - Sep 3 with 698 viewsbrogansnose

I’ve had a hell of a week on 03:34 - Sep 3 by NewcyBlue

I’ll just keep updating this thread.

MrsN was home for two nights. At least I think it was two. It could have been one. They’re all blurring into one for me at the moment.

I had just finished doing a safety inspection and was informing the responsible person when my watch buzzed and the message started “I don’t want to worry you but....”

Another bleed. When I asked how bad, she replied “it’s a decent one”. Damned midwife. I worry her experience and knowledge as a midwife makes her less cautious. I then remember we have sunk £12000 into IVF to get where we are. She’s taking no risks.

The next message I get is that she’s in an ambulance and they went to put a cannula in, and she bled all over. It seems the blood thinners she had been put on are still in her system. She put it down to that.

She got to hospital, was examined. They started treating her as if one of her waters had broken. They weren’t sure. So they gave her a steroid to help the twins’ lungs in case she delivers.

An exam finds the cervix closed. But they still carry on for treating waters broken. A trace is put on, which ends up looking like contractions. MrsN says she’s not convinced. She’s cool as a cucumber. She’s annoyed at herself for taking the blood thinners she said she should have been Midwife MrsN and said no. Instead she was patient MrsN and said yes. I told her it’s ok, the twins were scanned and found to be ok. She’s ok. It seems the bleeding is from the placenta which is low and over the cervix.

Anyway, we now don’t know how long she’s in for. Probably until delivery. Unless a consultant is happy to discharge. Knowing her, she will be pushing for the latter.

I think this is more stressful than when she gave me a running commentary of the last miscarriage she had when I was at sea.

She kept apologising for telling me and worrying me. Even when faced with uncertainty about the twins, something we have worked so hard for and she has wanted so much, she thinks about others.

She’s really quite an incredible woman, and I will never be able to find the words to tell her so.

As for me, I’m still leaving my troubles in the cabin, although I take them to the gym with me and absolutely cane myself in the gym.

We have passed Dakar, and are heading down towards Ghana. I emailed crewing over two weeks ago to confirm if they would be able relieve me or not. There has been no reply. We only have one port on this route that we can do crew changes in. That’s Spain. They’re introducing new rules.

All the best TWTD. Give your family an extra hug, because I can’t. (Mine not yours).


Oh my Newcy, the stress that this must be causing you both. Its a bit glib but all the very best.
1
I’ve had a hell of a week on 02:12 - Sep 7 with 621 viewsNewcyBlue

Here’s the thing.

I work a lot.

My sleep at the moment isn’t great. If MrsN isn’t online talking to me, then I have no idea what’s going on. Is she asleep? Has something happened? Zero clue.

Her hospital will have to phone an emergency number, who will then call the satellite phone on the ship. If I am on duty, I will be the one answering.

If not then I will get a phone call to my cabin.

Every time my cabin phone rings I wonder if my world is about to fall apart.

There is no news on relief. There has been no reply to my email. The Captain has emailed. No reply.

I’ve been close to crying when I can’t sleep because I think about getting bad news. I’ve been getting at most 5 hours sleep per day.

I either need the twins to get here and have them and MrsN all healthy and happy. Or I need to get home.

But in reality, at home I would be useless. Visiting is limited. Extremely limited. I know I am better off out here. Earning money and more time off.

They put a CTG on twice a day, she had to go for a scan this evening because the CTG didn’t look good. Everything is ok.

If she has another bleed, they’re doing a section and getting the twins out.

The next time you give your family a cuddle, hold them a little longer. Because I can’t.

Some may ask why I still do this job. It’s the only thing I am any good at. I get a lot of time and at home with it. I earn enough money to have a lifestyle I never even thought possible. I can do some work in my community at home, and not worry about being called into work or getting emails. I can make life better for my community.

It’s hard. I would love to be home all the time. The sea is a calling. It’s a wonderful terrible job.

I look at some of the cadets I get, 16,17,18 years old. I think that could be Seb. It’s better for people that I do this job.

At some point the sacrifice won’t be worth it. I just hope I am self aware enough to recognise it.

Until then I hope for a phone that doesn’t ring and smooth seas.

Poll: Who has been the best Bond?

4
I’ve had a hell of a week on 07:09 - Sep 7 with 568 viewssolomon

I hope all goes well for you, it must be stressful, all the best.
1
I’ve had a hell of a week on 08:25 - Sep 7 with 543 viewsMeadowlark

I’ve had a hell of a week on 02:12 - Sep 7 by NewcyBlue

Here’s the thing.

I work a lot.

My sleep at the moment isn’t great. If MrsN isn’t online talking to me, then I have no idea what’s going on. Is she asleep? Has something happened? Zero clue.

Her hospital will have to phone an emergency number, who will then call the satellite phone on the ship. If I am on duty, I will be the one answering.

If not then I will get a phone call to my cabin.

Every time my cabin phone rings I wonder if my world is about to fall apart.

There is no news on relief. There has been no reply to my email. The Captain has emailed. No reply.

I’ve been close to crying when I can’t sleep because I think about getting bad news. I’ve been getting at most 5 hours sleep per day.

I either need the twins to get here and have them and MrsN all healthy and happy. Or I need to get home.

But in reality, at home I would be useless. Visiting is limited. Extremely limited. I know I am better off out here. Earning money and more time off.

They put a CTG on twice a day, she had to go for a scan this evening because the CTG didn’t look good. Everything is ok.

If she has another bleed, they’re doing a section and getting the twins out.

The next time you give your family a cuddle, hold them a little longer. Because I can’t.

Some may ask why I still do this job. It’s the only thing I am any good at. I get a lot of time and at home with it. I earn enough money to have a lifestyle I never even thought possible. I can do some work in my community at home, and not worry about being called into work or getting emails. I can make life better for my community.

It’s hard. I would love to be home all the time. The sea is a calling. It’s a wonderful terrible job.

I look at some of the cadets I get, 16,17,18 years old. I think that could be Seb. It’s better for people that I do this job.

At some point the sacrifice won’t be worth it. I just hope I am self aware enough to recognise it.

Until then I hope for a phone that doesn’t ring and smooth seas.


Best wishes and hope everything works out well. I'm sure it will.

I spent some time at sea many years ago when there was none or very little chance of communication with home between port calls. This was around the time my eldest two were born. (Now 38 & 35!) In some ways, the lack of communication was a blessing compared with what you're going through now. It's good that you can pick up a phone or go online and get an instant connection to your loved ones, but when there's nothing you can do when so far away, it must be as frustrating as hell.

Hope you get your relief and can get home soon.

Like all on here, we're thinking of you and wishing you all the best.
3
Login to get fewer ads

I’ve had a hell of a week on 08:26 - Sep 7 with 540 viewsHerbivore

Sending good thoughts your way, Newcy. Can't imagine how it must feel for you going through all this so far from home. Mrs Newcy sounds like an amazing woman and I will keep everything crossed for her and the twins, it sounds like they are getting the care and oversight that they need.

Poll: Should someone on benefits earn more than David Cameron?
Blog: Where Did It All Go Wrong for Paul Hurst?

2
I’ve had a hell of a week on 08:27 - Sep 7 with 539 viewsDanTheMan

I’ve had a hell of a week on 02:12 - Sep 7 by NewcyBlue

Here’s the thing.

I work a lot.

My sleep at the moment isn’t great. If MrsN isn’t online talking to me, then I have no idea what’s going on. Is she asleep? Has something happened? Zero clue.

Her hospital will have to phone an emergency number, who will then call the satellite phone on the ship. If I am on duty, I will be the one answering.

If not then I will get a phone call to my cabin.

Every time my cabin phone rings I wonder if my world is about to fall apart.

There is no news on relief. There has been no reply to my email. The Captain has emailed. No reply.

I’ve been close to crying when I can’t sleep because I think about getting bad news. I’ve been getting at most 5 hours sleep per day.

I either need the twins to get here and have them and MrsN all healthy and happy. Or I need to get home.

But in reality, at home I would be useless. Visiting is limited. Extremely limited. I know I am better off out here. Earning money and more time off.

They put a CTG on twice a day, she had to go for a scan this evening because the CTG didn’t look good. Everything is ok.

If she has another bleed, they’re doing a section and getting the twins out.

The next time you give your family a cuddle, hold them a little longer. Because I can’t.

Some may ask why I still do this job. It’s the only thing I am any good at. I get a lot of time and at home with it. I earn enough money to have a lifestyle I never even thought possible. I can do some work in my community at home, and not worry about being called into work or getting emails. I can make life better for my community.

It’s hard. I would love to be home all the time. The sea is a calling. It’s a wonderful terrible job.

I look at some of the cadets I get, 16,17,18 years old. I think that could be Seb. It’s better for people that I do this job.

At some point the sacrifice won’t be worth it. I just hope I am self aware enough to recognise it.

Until then I hope for a phone that doesn’t ring and smooth seas.


I can only imagine how hard this is for you right now. Hang on in there, and I hope everything goes well for you.

Poll: FM Parallel Game Week 1 (Fulham) - Available Team

2
I’ve had a hell of a week on 12:39 - Sep 7 with 490 viewsitfc_bucks

I’ve had a hell of a week on 20:53 - Aug 28 by NewcyBlue

Just wanted to thank you all for your messages.

MrsN is in twice weekly for scans, with a consultant she knows and trusts (one she’s worked with and obviously trusts his judgement).

He’s not convinced, but is keeping her going rather than saying she needs to have a section sooner rather than later. He’s finding it difficult because the cord for T2 is pulsating quite a lot because they are moving. Besides the short femurs, there are no other classic signs or Down’s syndrome.

They think the placenta is healthy enough, so really it’s just looking like T2 is quite small. Obviously T2 will need to be a certain size on delivery or they will end up in special care baby unit.

So it’s just a waiting game. It’s still looking unlikely that I will be home. That’s something that is out of my control.

Again. Thanks everyone for your support.


My lad was an 8lb+ juggernaut but still ended up in NICU.

The nurses in there are bloody warriors mate. If T2 ends up spending time there, they're in the best of hands. Try not to sweat the "what-ifs" too much.
2
I’ve had a hell of a week on 21:53 - Sep 7 with 437 viewsNthsuffolkblue

I’ve had a hell of a week on 02:12 - Sep 7 by NewcyBlue

Here’s the thing.

I work a lot.

My sleep at the moment isn’t great. If MrsN isn’t online talking to me, then I have no idea what’s going on. Is she asleep? Has something happened? Zero clue.

Her hospital will have to phone an emergency number, who will then call the satellite phone on the ship. If I am on duty, I will be the one answering.

If not then I will get a phone call to my cabin.

Every time my cabin phone rings I wonder if my world is about to fall apart.

There is no news on relief. There has been no reply to my email. The Captain has emailed. No reply.

I’ve been close to crying when I can’t sleep because I think about getting bad news. I’ve been getting at most 5 hours sleep per day.

I either need the twins to get here and have them and MrsN all healthy and happy. Or I need to get home.

But in reality, at home I would be useless. Visiting is limited. Extremely limited. I know I am better off out here. Earning money and more time off.

They put a CTG on twice a day, she had to go for a scan this evening because the CTG didn’t look good. Everything is ok.

If she has another bleed, they’re doing a section and getting the twins out.

The next time you give your family a cuddle, hold them a little longer. Because I can’t.

Some may ask why I still do this job. It’s the only thing I am any good at. I get a lot of time and at home with it. I earn enough money to have a lifestyle I never even thought possible. I can do some work in my community at home, and not worry about being called into work or getting emails. I can make life better for my community.

It’s hard. I would love to be home all the time. The sea is a calling. It’s a wonderful terrible job.

I look at some of the cadets I get, 16,17,18 years old. I think that could be Seb. It’s better for people that I do this job.

At some point the sacrifice won’t be worth it. I just hope I am self aware enough to recognise it.

Until then I hope for a phone that doesn’t ring and smooth seas.


Just read this and your previous update Newcy and I have tears. Can't possibly imagine how it must be for you.

At least she is letting you know everything.

Here is to a silent phone, calm seas and a relief crew. Here is to the phone call you really want at the right time if that relief really can't happen.

Praying for you all.

Poll: Is Jeremy Clarkson misogynistic, racist or plain nasty?
Blog: [Blog] Ghostbusters

6
About Us Contact Us Terms & Conditions Privacy Cookies Advertising
© TWTD 1995-2024