| chrisswailes 2.0 09:52 - Nov 24 with 3757 views | Swailsey |
Apologies in advanced for the 'look at me thread'. I appreciate this is an entirely pointless thing to post, and there probably isn't a higher meaning behind it, other than mild attention seeking. But I wanted to apologise to anyone I've been snippy with recently, for any spats I've gotten into or if I've generally just been an antagonistic pri*k when it comes to our manager*.
I attempted to come off here for a few days, but realised that I actually need it more than I probably thought. I feel a real disconnect from certain parts of life in general at the moment, and a sadness with ITFC due to my feelings about the current set up. I miss feeling positive about ITFC and at the moment I just can't seem to. I don't know if that says more about me than anything else. I've been supporting Ipswich for over 25 years and I've never felt like this before. I miss feeling like an actual fan, not some pessimistic idiot.
I know to some this is just a forum to blow off steam, which is completely fine, but to me it's more than that. I try to carry myself on here as I would in real life and I don't think I've been doing that so much lately.
I'm sure a lot of you know that I have struggled with a lot of things in the past, and whilst I'm significantly better day-to-day, it doesn't stop me from having dark patches, patches where I feel like I don't belong, or shouldn't belong and times where I feel I'm not remotely worthy of having anything nice.
TWTD helps me with a lot of that and in times where I feel I've been losing myself slightly to my head and general apathy, it is a welcome distraction. Lockdown will have undoubtedly been very hard for everyone (and I've certainly, definitely been much more fortunate than most), but the last few weeks have really started to get to me and the fear of the 'new normal' turning me into the 'old me' is scary.
I'm writing this really for myself, not to get replies. I know it's very mumsnet and I also know that aside from a few posters, no-one will really know who the fu*k I am anyway.
Thanks Phil, Gav and Mark for the site and thanks to those who have indulged me and to those I've gotten to know offline from here.
* I have not been asked to say this. [Post edited 24 Nov 2020 9:59]
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| Who said: "Colin Healy made Cesc Fabregas look like Colin Healy"? | We miss you TLA |
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| chrisswailes 2.0 on 09:56 - Nov 24 with 2630 views | footers |
Sending a hug in a mug, a w@nk in a packet and a kiss in a tube. Feel free to PM me any time, swailesy x |  |
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| chrisswailes 2.0 on 10:06 - Nov 24 with 2574 views | TheTrueBlue1878 |
Great post, don't think myself and you have always seen eye to eye.
But superb post, nothing wrong with being 'Lambert Out' etc, and if that is how you feel (as with anyone) nothing wrong with it.
I've been the same over last week (snippy, prickly etc), and the reality is this place is a great place for good discussion, but should be done in polite and respectable manner.
 wailesy |  |
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| chrisswailes 2.0 on 10:06 - Nov 24 with 2571 views | homer_123 |
Hugs n stuff innit. |  |
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| chrisswailes 2.0 on 10:13 - Nov 24 with 2554 views | Superblue95 |
Would you feel better if we all had a whip round to pay for Colin Healy to come give you a hug? |  |
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| chrisswailes 2.0 on 10:19 - Nov 24 with 2521 views | Guthrum |
Social media - of which TWTD is one of the finest examples* - is an essential lifeline during a lockdown/restrictions. It may be the only way of achieving human contact and conversation on a regular basis. Cutting oneself off from that (on an extended basis) may not be wise.
While the ITFC situation may be bad, at least it gives a focus to distract from the grimness of the world outside. You're among friends and there is a universal desire to see things improve. It's not as if you're going against the tide by expressing dissatisfaction with the manager and recent performances.
* In terms of the variety of posters and opinions expressed, the wide range of experience and knowlege, the sense of community and the sheer niceness of the space compared with many others. |  |
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| chrisswailes 2.0 on 10:25 - Nov 24 with 2489 views | Moriarty |
"Hope is not optimism, which expects things to turn out well, but something rooted in the conviction that there is good worth working for" (Seamus Heaney).
There is always good worth working for. May you find and succeed in yours. |  |
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| chrisswailes 2.0 on 10:25 - Nov 24 with 2484 views | bluelagos |
Sounds like you've had a rough few moments recently. Lockdown isn't easy and will undoubtedly make it harder for many. Fairplays for being so open about it.
You're a good man. Try and focus on the positives, we are going to have ti be patient a little while more but the spring should see significant opening up and new freedoms. Been a horrible year but there is very much light at the end of the tunnel :-) |  |
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| chrisswailes 2.0 on 10:29 - Nov 24 with 2470 views | eireblue |
Was it pri*k, fu*k or manger* you have not been asked to say, or all three?
I know one of those is quite offensive. |  | | |
| chrisswailes 2.0 on 10:31 - Nov 24 with 2463 views | Herbivore |
I'm hoping this won't be the Windows 8 of chrisswailes versions.
You're a good egg and we are your virtual family (you poor thing). |  |
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| chrisswailes 2.0 on 10:37 - Nov 24 with 2450 views | itfcpaul |
Hi Chris
We have swapped messages a few times in the pat when I was venting about my wife's difficulties and how she was coping with life and ITFC at the same time, sometimes really hard for a person free from MH difficulties, and I am not sure whether I thanked you at the time, but even if I did it seems the right time to thank you again and offer any support I/we can give you if and when you may need it ,life for many of us and probably getting more by the day, so if there is anyone out there who needs someone to chat to, even someone you don't really know, as sometimes that is easier, please PM me.
My wife, who wasn't a great follower of football prior meeting me, even though her father played over 200 games at Division One level in the late 60'/early 70's, is not an avid Town fan and in some ways looks more into the social media side of things for daily updates and ids the one who gets/ worried/angry/frustrated/excited by watching the games, she even cheered the 97th minute winner after watching 96 minutes of dross, but she was there cheering and jumping up and down, Ipswich Town gives so much more to fans than they can imagine, rather the just the negative feelings we are generally feeling of this season.
It gives her focus and something to look forward to in this lockdown era we are in, for her unlike the majority of the nation, she is effectively locked down every day and has been for thelast 4 years or so due to her illness she has, her inability to go out on her own is very draining and adds more to the MH issues she has, so the excitement of a game is something to look forward to.
No it's not the 6 hour round trip to our home games or the travel to almost every away game as well that she normally enjoys, or the fresh air but it is something to look forward to, we really can't wait to get back to going to games either home or away
let's see what these new statements regarding fans brings when the legislation is published, because it certainly isn't likely to be everything they say it is, we have been here before and had it pulled away from us and let's hope it's not the same this time.
We aren't the greatest team in the Divisions, we are in Division One, but we are town, we are the team that we follow, we are supporters who have differing views, but at the end of the day, whatever our thoughts are about who is in charge and his faults, we all want what is best for our team, so just like my wife, support the team unconditionally, I am sure there will be a time when Management changes and no doubt not everyone will be happy when that happens and who takes over but behind it all is the club, Ipswich Town, the club, the fans, the history and the future, it's in our hands.
Apologies for the long rant and anything I said that you may not agree with but this club gives lots of people an enormous amount in their lives, let's not wish it away, and support the club and fans and push on the hopefully be a Championship club again next season... |  |
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| chrisswailes 2.0 on 10:49 - Nov 24 with 2402 views | factual_blue |
Nothing to apologise for. I know you've had your struggles, and seem to be doing well.
We are all here for you. |  |
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| chrisswailes 2.0 on 11:33 - Nov 24 with 2321 views | PJH |
Great post chrisswailes, look after yourself because you are one of the good ones. |  | | |
| chrisswailes 2.0 on 11:48 - Nov 24 with 2282 views | hoppy |
| chrisswailes 2.0 on 10:25 - Nov 24 by Moriarty |
"Hope is not optimism, which expects things to turn out well, but something rooted in the conviction that there is good worth working for" (Seamus Heaney).
There is always good worth working for. May you find and succeed in yours. |
Could i just say, reading the wisdom in that quote...
Seamus Heaney made Confucius look like Seamus Heaney. |  |
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| chrisswailes 2.0 on 11:49 - Nov 24 with 2281 views | The_Flashing_Smile |
Excellent post Chris. I echo your comments. If I've been an ar$e to anyone I apologise too. |  |
| Trust the process. Trust Phil. |
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| chrisswailes 2.0 on 11:50 - Nov 24 with 2265 views | Ryorry |
Always seems to be the people who don't need to apologise at all, who do. You don't!
Iirc (please correct me if wrong), your good lady got Lyme's disease & became very ill from a tick bite didn't she? How's she getting on? I thought of you the other night actually, when I had to remove a tick from my dog's chest - it's been a mild autumn so ticks are still active in most places.
With greater awareness of, and more enlightened attitudes about mental health issues these days, I also see no reason to associate being "mumsnet" with somehow being weak. I don't know the website, but hope they are just as enlightened as TWTD.
I'm often up at stupid 'o clock if you ever feel like a chat when everyone else is zizzing 👠|  |
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| chrisswailes 2.0 on 11:51 - Nov 24 with 2262 views | SpruceMoose |
| chrisswailes 2.0 on 11:50 - Nov 24 by Ryorry |
Always seems to be the people who don't need to apologise at all, who do. You don't!
Iirc (please correct me if wrong), your good lady got Lyme's disease & became very ill from a tick bite didn't she? How's she getting on? I thought of you the other night actually, when I had to remove a tick from my dog's chest - it's been a mild autumn so ticks are still active in most places.
With greater awareness of, and more enlightened attitudes about mental health issues these days, I also see no reason to associate being "mumsnet" with somehow being weak. I don't know the website, but hope they are just as enlightened as TWTD.
I'm often up at stupid 'o clock if you ever feel like a chat when everyone else is zizzing 👠|
"I don't know the website, but hope they are just as enlightened as TWTD."
Narrator -"They aren't" |  |
| Pronouns: He/Him/His.
"Imagine being a heterosexual white male in Britain at this moment. How bad is that. Everything you say is racist, everything you say is homophobic. The Woke community have really f****d this country." | | Poll: | Selectamod |
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| chrisswailes 2.0 on 11:54 - Nov 24 with 2250 views | SpruceMoose |
You've got my number my man. Drop me a line any time of the day. Thanks to the time difference I'll be around in the small hours.
I certainly identify with your post, and I bet many others on here do too. Thanks for sticking around x | |
| Pronouns: He/Him/His.
"Imagine being a heterosexual white male in Britain at this moment. How bad is that. Everything you say is racist, everything you say is homophobic. The Woke community have really f****d this country." | | Poll: | Selectamod |
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| chrisswailes 2.0 on 11:58 - Nov 24 with 2216 views | Ryorry |
| chrisswailes 2.0 on 11:51 - Nov 24 by SpruceMoose |
"I don't know the website, but hope they are just as enlightened as TWTD."
Narrator -"They aren't" |
Ah, I bow to your greater experience!  | |
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| chrisswailes 2.0 on 12:05 - Nov 24 with 2206 views | Dyland |
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| chrisswailes 2.0 on 12:12 - Nov 24 with 2179 views | solemio |
I have said before that some of the threads concerning mental health on this site have been so good that Phil and Gav should be proud that their website carries them.
You have been very much an important part of some of those threads, chrisswailes. Very best wishes to you. | | | |
| chrisswailes 2.0 on 12:15 - Nov 24 with 2166 views | J2BLUE |
Bloody hell mate, I was only joking about withdrawing your POTY vote!
You're a great poster mate and we love you. Post as much as you need about anything you like x
Oh and if it helps, I laid awake last night worrying about my life and my future, wondering if the picture i've had in my head for my life would ever actually appear. You're not alone brother. |  |
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| chrisswailes 2.0 on 12:17 - Nov 24 with 2148 views | SpruceMoose |
| chrisswailes 2.0 on 12:15 - Nov 24 by J2BLUE |
Bloody hell mate, I was only joking about withdrawing your POTY vote!
You're a great poster mate and we love you. Post as much as you need about anything you like x
Oh and if it helps, I laid awake last night worrying about my life and my future, wondering if the picture i've had in my head for my life would ever actually appear. You're not alone brother. |
Don't worry mate. One day Newcy will come home from sea, embrace you on the wharf and take you to a lovely little bed and breakfast to make tender love to you. | |
| Pronouns: He/Him/His.
"Imagine being a heterosexual white male in Britain at this moment. How bad is that. Everything you say is racist, everything you say is homophobic. The Woke community have really f****d this country." | | Poll: | Selectamod |
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