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It's been announced a former pupil of mine died at the end of last week. 15:24 - Feb 22 with 2512 viewsMullet

That's the second one who left school last summer and didn't make it to 17 in the past few months. Neither COVID related and very different pupils, who sadly met very different and tragic ends.

It's unusual to lose anyone, let alone two and so soon after leaving.

No real reason for posting this, other than I found out Friday and it's been gnawing away at me. The past 6 months have been really difficult from a personal perspective and little knocks like this seem to be way more frequent than normal.

It's very strange to think I'm twice their age and more already too. As pervasive as this pandemic has been and how disproportianately it affects us all, the sooner we get some normality back the better.

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It's been announced a former pupil of mine died at the end of last week. on 15:27 - Feb 22 with 2453 viewshomer_123

That's not good Mullers and sorry that things have been affecting you. Virtual hug bud.

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It's been announced a former pupil of mine died at the end of last week. on 15:34 - Feb 22 with 2378 viewshoppy

Sorry to read that Mullet. As good a place as any to post something like that. I’ve felt comfort from doing so in difficult circumstances before. Hope the next 6 months improve massively from the last 6 for you.

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It's been announced a former pupil of mine died at the end of last week. on 15:37 - Feb 22 with 2347 viewsWeWereZombies

There is always an inexplicable sadness when hearing of the death of someone at a young age, it seems to go beyond the missed opportunities of long life, the oddness of parents outliving their children and gets right down to a gnawing doubt about the nature of existence. One of those occasions when it is definitely better to reach out and open up to others rather than bottling things up. And as a teacher you are expected to carry the emotions of others, former school friends, so as to provide some solace. Thoughts are with you.

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It's been announced a former pupil of mine died at the end of last week. on 16:03 - Feb 22 with 2217 viewsMoriarty

Mullet, I wish you all the best in overcoming the difficulties of the last few months.

It's always sad to learn of young people passing away and such happenings inevitably lead us to reflect on things.

Normality may seem a long way off but it will come. My grandmother had a saying "a long time is a short time". When you look ahead to something, it seems like it will never come, whether it's an event, old age, whatever. But eventually it comes. And when it does, it will all seem to have passed so quickly.

I hope you can stay strong and positive. Normality will return.

fka omuircheartaigh

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It's been announced a former pupil of mine died at the end of last week. on 16:10 - Feb 22 with 2179 viewsSteve_M

That's really crap news to hear. It's probably far easier to dwell on the bad stuff because there's so little good stuff to offset it, all the usual good things in life still on hold.

You know where I am if you want a chat.

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It's been announced a former pupil of mine died at the end of last week. on 16:13 - Feb 22 with 2154 viewsBanksterDebtSlave

Have some positive teen news...Junior, 16, is leaping around the house with joy at the confirmation of getting back to school and the possibility that her prom way be back on the cards! (Bah, humbug, American bollix etc.....)

Edit....continue to have a positive influence on young lives Mullet!
[Post edited 22 Feb 2021 16:14]

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It's been announced a former pupil of mine died at the end of last week. on 16:14 - Feb 22 with 2146 viewsKropotkin123

Brings back memories of when a friend of mine died whilst at college. Including him, three died from his history class that year, all unrelated. I remember speaking to my history teacher about it. He didn't know we were friends until the funeral. We both had him as our teacher and he was pretty cut up about it.

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It's been announced a former pupil of mine died at the end of last week. on 16:23 - Feb 22 with 2098 viewsfactual_blue

It's never bad to let others know how you're feeling. The deaths of younger people is always hard to cope with.

We're all here for each other.



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It's been announced a former pupil of mine died at the end of last week. on 16:43 - Feb 22 with 2002 viewsjeera

Hello Mullers.

I am really sorry to hear this and it must be devastating for their families, as well as troubling for people who knew them too.

If you have worked with, taught, and watched a person grow then it's not surprising it's upset you.

Best wishes mate, you know where everyone is if you need anything.

I hope you and your family are doing ok and keeping well. x

I lost a friend at 15 and another at 16 and I was too young to fully take on board either situation properly. I still remember them and was thinking about one of them only yesterday.

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The collateral damage is immense..... on 16:46 - Feb 22 with 1996 viewsBloots

....and impossible to measure.

I lost two friends to suicide in the summer, both where lockdown/Covid pushed them over the edge.

People I know are going quiet, people that work for me are going quiet. At least 50% of my time is spent trying to keep morale up, it's really tough.

Some people can deal with it better than others, but that doesn't mean people that are struggling are weak in any way, they just have different perspectives and different issues to deal with.

Now isn't the time for the "stiff British upper lip", nor is it a time to be flippant.

Everyone needs support, even those that are supporting others.

(apart from Lambert, he can sod off)

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The collateral damage is immense..... on 16:56 - Feb 22 with 1943 viewsArnoldMoorhen

The collateral damage is immense..... on 16:46 - Feb 22 by Bloots

....and impossible to measure.

I lost two friends to suicide in the summer, both where lockdown/Covid pushed them over the edge.

People I know are going quiet, people that work for me are going quiet. At least 50% of my time is spent trying to keep morale up, it's really tough.

Some people can deal with it better than others, but that doesn't mean people that are struggling are weak in any way, they just have different perspectives and different issues to deal with.

Now isn't the time for the "stiff British upper lip", nor is it a time to be flippant.

Everyone needs support, even those that are supporting others.

(apart from Lambert, he can sod off)


Echoing everyone's thoughts to Mullet above. And in response to what Bloots says, for those who are struggling and don't want to post here, please phone one of these numbers. Some are anonymous listening services, others will help you access more help:

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/guides-to-support-and-services/crisi
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It's been announced a former pupil of mine died at the end of last week. on 17:12 - Feb 22 with 1889 viewsBlueBadger

A-fooking-men. After my experiences last year, I am never going to be able to work in an ITU again.

I've booked bank shifts a couple of times in the last 6 months, and the subsequent anxiety and night terrors I've had about it have meant that I've cancelled them again.

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The collateral damage is immense..... on 17:18 - Feb 22 with 1864 viewsmidastouch

The collateral damage is immense..... on 16:46 - Feb 22 by Bloots

....and impossible to measure.

I lost two friends to suicide in the summer, both where lockdown/Covid pushed them over the edge.

People I know are going quiet, people that work for me are going quiet. At least 50% of my time is spent trying to keep morale up, it's really tough.

Some people can deal with it better than others, but that doesn't mean people that are struggling are weak in any way, they just have different perspectives and different issues to deal with.

Now isn't the time for the "stiff British upper lip", nor is it a time to be flippant.

Everyone needs support, even those that are supporting others.

(apart from Lambert, he can sod off)


Same here, 3 people I know have committed suicide this lockdown, all only in their 40s. Really sad. I watched the funeral online for one of them just the Friday before last. His mum gave a very moving speech at the funeral, my heart went out to her. He had a young son too which makes it that much more upsetting.
Several people from my year at school (and the year below me) have committed suicide in recent years too. One was washed up on the beach only recently. His body was found by somebody I know who was walking between Gorleston and Hopton.
I don't know the most recent stats, as these are from 2017, but I found this shocking:
https://www.samaritans.org/news/suicide-kills-three-times-more-people-road-traff

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It's been announced a former pupil of mine died at the end of last week. on 18:29 - Feb 22 with 1695 viewscbower

We had 3 deaths within months of students leaving a few years ago for various reasons. It is a strange feeling and the three students were quite different and seemed quite happy go lucky. I guess the pressure they feel is no different to that felt by adults. An education system which seemingly only values grades above a certain level and practically labels those achieving anything less than Grade 4 as failures is unhelpful. The return to traditional end loaded exams with a far more academic slant has made it far more difficult for certain pupils too. Schools must have strong pastoral systems but it seems that OFSTED only value their warped definition of attainment. I am glad I will be 55 in 2023 and can consider winding down from teaching after almost 30 years.
I hope the future is brighter for you and as my old man always told me, you can only do you best. Like I said on Saturday, it's good to see you back on here. Select your battles though, there are odd balls and contrary beasts everywhere in this world.

bluescouser

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It's been announced a former pupil of mine died at the end of last week. on 18:42 - Feb 22 with 1641 viewsfergalsharkey

Sorry to hear that pal.

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It's been announced a former pupil of mine died at the end of last week. on 19:56 - Feb 22 with 1498 viewsSwansea_Blue

This is probably no help whatsoever, but I found once I hit my late 30s (I lost my mum suddenly when I was 36 and it was a bit of a wake up call) mortality suddenly became something I started thinking about and to this day I still haven't come to terms with it. To be blunt it scares me sh*tless. Both my own and that of other people I know; family, friends, etc. No, saddens me rather than scares me I think, and the whole getting older thing is tied up with it obviously. Daft really given it's the only certainty (although I'm holding out hope for cryopreservation).

I suspect a lot of us have similar feelings linked to loss, and it certainly doesn't help when the last year has been so sapping to everyone's moral (and that's just the football!). Only natural you'll be thinking about such an early loss of life. You'd not be human if you didn't. And it strikes me that you're very human and caring.

As I say, this is probably no help whatsoever. But we're always here for anyone who wants to talk (or call a tory a tvvat; that works too).

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It's been announced a former pupil of mine died at the end of last week. on 20:17 - Feb 22 with 1439 viewsBanksterDebtSlave

It's been announced a former pupil of mine died at the end of last week. on 19:56 - Feb 22 by Swansea_Blue

This is probably no help whatsoever, but I found once I hit my late 30s (I lost my mum suddenly when I was 36 and it was a bit of a wake up call) mortality suddenly became something I started thinking about and to this day I still haven't come to terms with it. To be blunt it scares me sh*tless. Both my own and that of other people I know; family, friends, etc. No, saddens me rather than scares me I think, and the whole getting older thing is tied up with it obviously. Daft really given it's the only certainty (although I'm holding out hope for cryopreservation).

I suspect a lot of us have similar feelings linked to loss, and it certainly doesn't help when the last year has been so sapping to everyone's moral (and that's just the football!). Only natural you'll be thinking about such an early loss of life. You'd not be human if you didn't. And it strikes me that you're very human and caring.

As I say, this is probably no help whatsoever. But we're always here for anyone who wants to talk (or call a tory a tvvat; that works too).


Having had our daughter when I was 40 and having perhaps not always best looked after the temple that is my body before that I have mostly spent the intervening years on and off fretting about surviving long enough to leave her at a decent adult age. Utterly pointless but all part of the human condition I guess.
The only positive I can take from this thread is that it reinforces the need to maybe reassess our values and to go about making this world a more caring, mutually supportive and compassionate place to make some of these early deaths a little bit less likely...it hurts to imagine people feeling that alone in the wilderness.

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It's been announced a former pupil of mine died at the end of last week. on 20:50 - Feb 22 with 1344 viewsSouthBucksBlue

That’s sad news Mullet and must be very hard for you to handle after what must have been a very difficult year for you as a teacher.
I wish you strength.
All the best.
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It's been announced a former pupil of mine died at the end of last week. on 15:32 - Feb 23 with 1041 viewsMullet

Thanks all.

Sorry I don't have it in me to reply to all of you, but I appreciate everyone's words. I was in teaching all day and have parent's evening online tonight so I'm very much back in the world of work today at least.

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It's been announced a former pupil of mine died at the end of last week. on 16:51 - Feb 23 with 946 viewsGlasgowBlue

Really sorry to read this sad news mullers. Having spoken to you a few times about the wonderful job all the teachers have done for my kids over the years, I know how far above and beyond you guys go. And it will be impossible not to feel some sort of connection to each and everyone of them on a personal level.

So sorry that what has already been such a sh1t 12 months has been even harder for you.

Take care mate.

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