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Bullying in schools 13:02 - Jan 18 with 2580 viewsgiant_stow

Any education folk got any pointers on how long it might take a typical school to respond / sort out bullying?

Or for that matter, what the process might be? ie how the school establishes whether what's actually happened is bullying or not? Some of it takes the form of violence, threats* or name-calling about his appearance, but some of it's much more subtle and carefully hidden by the perpetrators.

*Not so subtle was the threat to 'Shank' my boy made several times last Monday. Edit: made by an 8 year old to another 8 year old. Almost certainly stupid banter, rather than an actual threat, but we obviously can't live with that sort of talk either way.
[Post edited 18 Jan 2022 13:03]

Has anyone ever looked at their own postings for last day or so? Oh my... so sorry. Was Ullaa
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Bullying in schools on 13:05 - Jan 18 with 2019 viewsIllinoisblue

Ugh that is awful. Does the school not have an official policy? I’d go straight to the headmaster and involve the police given the nature of that threat but realise it’s not as simple as that.

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Bullying in schools on 13:09 - Jan 18 with 1992 viewsFixed_It

Bullying in schools on 13:05 - Jan 18 by Illinoisblue

Ugh that is awful. Does the school not have an official policy? I’d go straight to the headmaster and involve the police given the nature of that threat but realise it’s not as simple as that.


Make an appointment to discuss it with the Headteacher if you haven't already done so. The threat to 'shank' someone, even from an 8 year old, is enough to raise serious concerns.

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Bullying in schools on 13:11 - Jan 18 with 1987 viewsgiant_stow

Bullying in schools on 13:05 - Jan 18 by Illinoisblue

Ugh that is awful. Does the school not have an official policy? I’d go straight to the headmaster and involve the police given the nature of that threat but realise it’s not as simple as that.


Its hurts to see the little one so upset every single night.

I can't get my head around 8 year olds speaking like that, but maybe that shows my naivety.

The school does have a policy and we've been engaging with that like good little parents, but not a lot seems to be happening and my blood's just starting to come to the boil.

Thanks for the advice - I think that's the next step if I don't get some answers today.

Has anyone ever looked at their own postings for last day or so? Oh my... so sorry. Was Ullaa
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Bullying in schools on 13:12 - Jan 18 with 1981 viewsfactual_blue

From the title I thought you were telling us that bullying in schools was your latest hobby.

More seriously, hope you get this sorted out.

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Bullying in schools on 13:13 - Jan 18 with 1971 viewsgiant_stow

Bullying in schools on 13:09 - Jan 18 by Fixed_It

Make an appointment to discuss it with the Headteacher if you haven't already done so. The threat to 'shank' someone, even from an 8 year old, is enough to raise serious concerns.


He has a newly qualified and newly appointed class teacher as of Christmas, so I've been liaising with him to date, but its been 10 days and I've not heard much back yet other than "there there, how terrible"s.

Thanks for your advice - if I don't get through on a call today, that'll be what I do.

Has anyone ever looked at their own postings for last day or so? Oh my... so sorry. Was Ullaa
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Bullying in schools on 13:13 - Jan 18 with 1968 viewsIpswichKnight

I’d probably go to the form teacher and ask them to look into it first but I’d also request a copy of there bullying procedures to make sure they are followed. If not satisfied with that then I’d raise it to the headteacher.

That said none of us would blame you for ignoring that at getting the police involved ( though at 8 they are below the age of criminal responsibility)
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Bullying in schools on 13:17 - Jan 18 with 1919 viewsFixed_It

Bullying in schools on 13:13 - Jan 18 by giant_stow

He has a newly qualified and newly appointed class teacher as of Christmas, so I've been liaising with him to date, but its been 10 days and I've not heard much back yet other than "there there, how terrible"s.

Thanks for your advice - if I don't get through on a call today, that'll be what I do.


To be honest, a newly qualified teacher will be snowed under with work, and may not know how best to deal with this situation. Due to the nature of the threats (however unrealistic they are for the age) I think you are justified in going straight to the Headteacher.

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Bullying in schools on 13:18 - Jan 18 with 1910 viewsgiant_stow

Bullying in schools on 13:13 - Jan 18 by IpswichKnight

I’d probably go to the form teacher and ask them to look into it first but I’d also request a copy of there bullying procedures to make sure they are followed. If not satisfied with that then I’d raise it to the headteacher.

That said none of us would blame you for ignoring that at getting the police involved ( though at 8 they are below the age of criminal responsibility)


Thanks loads for the advice. appreciated.

Has anyone ever looked at their own postings for last day or so? Oh my... so sorry. Was Ullaa
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Bullying in schools on 13:20 - Jan 18 with 1887 viewsgiant_stow

Bullying in schools on 13:17 - Jan 18 by Fixed_It

To be honest, a newly qualified teacher will be snowed under with work, and may not know how best to deal with this situation. Due to the nature of the threats (however unrealistic they are for the age) I think you are justified in going straight to the Headteacher.


This was my fear and maybe I'm also being a little over-respectful of his newness / trying not to go over his head. If I don't get through to speak to him after school today, I'll seek out the Head. Appreciate your time.
[Post edited 18 Jan 2022 13:21]

Has anyone ever looked at their own postings for last day or so? Oh my... so sorry. Was Ullaa
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Bullying in schools on 13:25 - Jan 18 with 1862 viewsChondzoresk

I work at a school. You must chase it up. Don’t let it settle. Even though there is a new teacher involved, they should be seeking advice from their colleagues. It’s no excuse ‘because they are new’. Good luck Ulla. This should not be happening to your boy.
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Bullying in schools on 13:27 - Jan 18 with 1840 viewsChrisd

Really sorry to read this, I was wondering if you have gone onto the school's website? They will have a behaviour policy or a link to it, this will outline the processes and procedures involved. Have you spoken or had a meeting with your child's class teacher? From my experience, good schools will want to deal with this situation quickly, but they will need to put things in place, monitor the situation before giving feedback on how things are going. If you feel the matter isn't being dealt with from your prospective, I'd like to think they will keep you informed, then I would then be looking to make an appointment with the Headteacher or Deputy Head.
[Post edited 18 Jan 2022 13:33]

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Bullying in schools on 13:29 - Jan 18 with 1812 viewsgiant_stow

Bullying in schools on 13:25 - Jan 18 by Chondzoresk

I work at a school. You must chase it up. Don’t let it settle. Even though there is a new teacher involved, they should be seeking advice from their colleagues. It’s no excuse ‘because they are new’. Good luck Ulla. This should not be happening to your boy.


In fairness, I know the teacher has been checking in with his mentor and seniors, but we're just hearing nothing back. Thanks mr - I will push forward.

Has anyone ever looked at their own postings for last day or so? Oh my... so sorry. Was Ullaa
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Bullying in schools on 13:29 - Jan 18 with 1805 viewsghostofescobar

Bullying in schools on 13:12 - Jan 18 by factual_blue

From the title I thought you were telling us that bullying in schools was your latest hobby.

More seriously, hope you get this sorted out.


Don't know if you've seen these, or if they help:
https://www.gov.uk/bullying-at-school
https://www.nationalbullyinghelpline.co.uk/help-guides.html#bullyguide

Good luck and hope you're little one doesn't have too many lasting effects.

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Bullying in schools on 13:32 - Jan 18 with 1779 viewsgiant_stow

Bullying in schools on 13:29 - Jan 18 by ghostofescobar

Don't know if you've seen these, or if they help:
https://www.gov.uk/bullying-at-school
https://www.nationalbullyinghelpline.co.uk/help-guides.html#bullyguide

Good luck and hope you're little one doesn't have too many lasting effects.


I hadn't seen those - thanks - reading now.

You're a good bunch. Humblingly so in fact.

Has anyone ever looked at their own postings for last day or so? Oh my... so sorry. Was Ullaa
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Bullying in schools on 13:35 - Jan 18 with 1755 viewsThe_Flashing_Smile

I'm stunned that 8 year olds know what shanking is, I certainly didn't at that age. Where on earth are they getting such language from? I would definitely be considering the police with such a threat involved.

Trust the process. Trust Phil.

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Bullying in schools on 13:37 - Jan 18 with 1738 viewsgiant_stow

Bullying in schools on 13:35 - Jan 18 by The_Flashing_Smile

I'm stunned that 8 year olds know what shanking is, I certainly didn't at that age. Where on earth are they getting such language from? I would definitely be considering the police with such a threat involved.


you and me both fella. The bully has an older brother whose just gone to secondary, so we're assuming it's come from there, but even so, very young to be talking like that.

Has anyone ever looked at their own postings for last day or so? Oh my... so sorry. Was Ullaa
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Bullying in schools on 13:41 - Jan 18 with 1698 viewsRyorry

Bullying in schools on 13:35 - Jan 18 by The_Flashing_Smile

I'm stunned that 8 year olds know what shanking is, I certainly didn't at that age. Where on earth are they getting such language from? I would definitely be considering the police with such a threat involved.


I know you're a lot younger than me, but things will have changed enormously in the playground since you were at school, never mind since I was.

Thankfully, at least now schools (and parents) pay attention to bullying & have procedures in place to deal with it - which they certainly didn't back in the 1950s and 60s, regrettably.

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Bullying in schools on 13:56 - Jan 18 with 1642 viewsBasingstokeBlue

Bullying in schools on 13:35 - Jan 18 by The_Flashing_Smile

I'm stunned that 8 year olds know what shanking is, I certainly didn't at that age. Where on earth are they getting such language from? I would definitely be considering the police with such a threat involved.


Whatting?

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Bullying in schools on 14:15 - Jan 18 with 1575 viewsCharlie_pl_baxter

I'd argue that as well as the obvious duty to protect your boy, there is a duty of care on the school to understand why an 8 year old child is using this kind of violent threatening language. You should absolutely follow this up and not let it lie. Good luck.

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Bullying in schools on 14:16 - Jan 18 with 1568 viewsThe_Flashing_Smile

Bullying in schools on 13:41 - Jan 18 by Ryorry

I know you're a lot younger than me, but things will have changed enormously in the playground since you were at school, never mind since I was.

Thankfully, at least now schools (and parents) pay attention to bullying & have procedures in place to deal with it - which they certainly didn't back in the 1950s and 60s, regrettably.


You're probably right, and will depend on the area as well. Still shocking to this correspondent.

Trust the process. Trust Phil.

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Bullying in schools on 14:28 - Jan 18 with 1530 viewsstopmoaning

I work in education, and have done for a long time.

First off, book to see a member of the SLT at the school, as it's primary, that's probably not a huge team, so will end up being the head or deputy.

All schools work differently though in regards to this thing, where I am, it would be stamped out in seconds - but many schools are not quite so quick to react.

If you find after the meeting things aren't improving, then meet again, and ask them about the sanctions they have imposed, and what they will do next. It's not a difficult thing to stop to be honest if it's just happening in the school environment, especially in primary schools - even if the kids are trying to be underhanded about it, essentially its separating them if the nice sanctions don't work.
[Post edited 18 Jan 2022 14:28]
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Bullying in schools on 16:59 - Jan 18 with 1411 viewsgiant_stow

Bullying in schools on 14:28 - Jan 18 by stopmoaning

I work in education, and have done for a long time.

First off, book to see a member of the SLT at the school, as it's primary, that's probably not a huge team, so will end up being the head or deputy.

All schools work differently though in regards to this thing, where I am, it would be stamped out in seconds - but many schools are not quite so quick to react.

If you find after the meeting things aren't improving, then meet again, and ask them about the sanctions they have imposed, and what they will do next. It's not a difficult thing to stop to be honest if it's just happening in the school environment, especially in primary schools - even if the kids are trying to be underhanded about it, essentially its separating them if the nice sanctions don't work.
[Post edited 18 Jan 2022 14:28]


Interesting points, especially on the different sanctions.

I've failed to get through the school by email and two phone calls today, so trying to swallow my annoyance, stay calm, not send an emotive email and get back onto it tomorrow, but patience is really running thin now.

Has anyone ever looked at their own postings for last day or so? Oh my... so sorry. Was Ullaa
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Bullying in schools on 18:25 - Jan 18 with 1338 viewseastangliaisblue

Have you thought about speaking to the parents? Anyone in their right mind would be horrified to find out their eight year old child is threatening to 'Shank' another child.

Whatever you do to resolve it, I hope it gets sorted. No one deserves to be bullied.
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Bullying in schools on 18:36 - Jan 18 with 1312 viewsSwansea_Blue

Bullying in schools on 13:56 - Jan 18 by BasingstokeBlue

Whatting?


The ability to count above 5 on the fingers of one hand. Def info.


No, me neither, but it sounds bad. I’d escalate to the Head (or another member of the Senior Leadership Team, as suggested above). And not let things drift. May need a bit of chasing to get an appointment, but if it was our school they’d be on it like a shot.

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Bullying in schools on 19:04 - Jan 18 with 1255 viewsNthsuffolkblue

This is terrible, Ullaa. I feel for you and your son. You are doing the right thing to initially raise it with the class teacher. I presume you are right that the child using the threat has no idea what the threat means but you have to wonder where they have picked it up from.

If, having raised it with the class teacher, you are not happy with the outcome (that appears to be the stage you are at now), you need to take it up a level and be clear what your issues are. This could be the head teacher or (probably better) the safeguarding lead who will likely be an assistant head teacher or the deputy head.

State exactly what you are concerned about and what has been done and over what timescale. Explain your concern over the phrase used especially. Make sure you get back from them exactly what they will do. If you are still not happy then your next step would be to go up one level from there - the Head Teacher if it was not them; the Head of the Governors if it was.

At least your son has told you about this. Keep communication open and encourage him to speak to someone at school too - in fact ask who would be the best person for him to go to in school when this is happening or if he feels unsafe.

Feel free to pm if you need further advice afterwards.

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