| The Warky Report: Midweek, fall-out and Lincoln (H) 21:05 - Mar 10 with 969 views | Warkystache |
Midweek. Several 'pings' from my phone. Blow-by-blow-by-blow accounts of Marbella, as texted by a one-fingered dyslexic. Whilst simultaneously wiping his arse. Judith Chalmers may have tanned to a deep mahogany on the 'Golden Mile' in the 80's but I bet she never spelled 'Calamari' to sound more like an aged and slightly exotic Aunt than an edible sweetmeat of the sea.
Given that his usual text skills are self-absorbed, it was no surprise to find 'beers, bit stake & sorce' were writ large amongst the various titbits that were viewed, read aloud in the manner of Bill Sykes in Oliver! and then deleted. He appears to be spending his two weeks gorging. He did ask how I was and, sadly, my reply must have appeared a tad wan, because then he rang me at 9.30pm, just as we were sat watching a replay of Great British Menu on Sky. I say 'watching'; she was talking to her sister on her phone. Their conversation pattered around, and then her sister said something and Paula looked at me and laughed riotously and then went red.
"'Ow's everyfing?" came a strangely distant cockernee voice. I got up from the settee (Paula and her sister were onto the merits of new housing versus old and I heard her say 'nice villages near West Bergholt' as I nestled the phone in the kitchen, and cringed inwardly. Tel spoke again. "Yer still there mate?", uncertainly as though I'd vaporised. I could hear the sound of far-away music behind him, something by Jamiroquai. 'Canned Heat?' I asked. "Nah, last night was bleedin' cold bein' 'onest. Still, the wife's spent a pile on cloves, like. Need to leave a bleedin' suitcase'o' stuff 'ere when we go or we'll be payin' out our backsides on excess".
I tried sounding positive and succeeded in being convincing, not that he was listening anyway. The texts came back from the dead as he repeated everything he'd already told me in them. He ended the call with a cheery "See yer nex' Sat'dee, we'll 'ave a curry, can't get that out 'ere. See ya". The line went dead. On the whole, I was pleased it did.
Paula's call was in its final throes as I came back into the living room. Andi Oliver was gap-toothed ecstasy on legs about someone's pudding on the telly. Paula made kissing noises to her sister as she said goodbye. She'd never done that before. They sounded like the noises she used to make when she gave me oral sex, and I remembered her face, pinched and eyes half-closed as she concentrated on that "Copdock roundabout" bit and I wondered if I'd make the tissue in time before I came in her mouth. Bit too much information, I know. Sorry.
"Sister alright then?" I asked as she clicked her phone off. She smiled at the screen and then focused on me. 'Yeah' she said, and then she snuggled her legs up against me and shifted her bum until she was practically in my lap. I stroked her hair. 'Where we goin' wrong?" she said suddenly, plaintively, tears wet in her eyes. And I said "I just think we're going ahead too quickly with a lot of changes. We should be just enjoying the moment" and she blinked at me and then jumped off me and went out to have a cigarette. And when she returned, she was distant, and she rebuffed my bedtime kiss with an "I'm tired" petulance and she lay on her side away from me. And then this morning, she was awake, showered and gone in a thrice, a muttered 'bye' and a long-dried tear-streaked pillow all that was left of her presence.
She's not come home yet. I had a text at five to say "Round Mum's, might stay there 2nite". No 'love' no 'xxxx'. So I've SAID THE WRONG THING. But, what else could I have said? More half-truths? No. They're not even half-truths.
I didn't make Lincoln. This in itself is nothing unusual; working in Birmingham makes reaching PR in time for a 7.45 kick-off with no drink inside me a trial. The fact we won again was mere balm for the briefest of moments. Yet I think I know what I want now. It may or may not involve her. It depends on whether what I want and what she wants align like the stars or the mechanism of some grand clock. I want to be happy. I want to enjoy my fiancee a bit more; intellectually as well as physically. We're like a misfiring engine at the moment. Something grates against something else.
I need to be clear. I need a level-headed, sensible approach. The trouble is, we're nearing that point tomorrow. If she ever comes home from her mum's. I'm thinking of taking tomorrow off to prepare. But then she'll be going to work anyway, I guess.
Sorry for the late midweek report. Just needed to get that off my chest. See you for (hopefully) a brighter one post-Pompey. |  |
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| The Warky Report: Midweek, fall-out and Lincoln (H) on 21:28 - Mar 10 with 850 views | HatStand |
Have you got the ladder of life, up against the right wall? |  |
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| The Warky Report: Midweek, fall-out and Lincoln (H) on 21:32 - Mar 10 with 815 views | Warkystache |
| The Warky Report: Midweek, fall-out and Lincoln (H) on 21:28 - Mar 10 by HatStand |
Have you got the ladder of life, up against the right wall? |
No. It's not even a stepladder. It's probably not one of those step-up things they had in public libraries when I was a kid. | |
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| The Warky Report: Midweek, fall-out and Lincoln (H) on 21:40 - Mar 10 with 767 views | hype313 |
| The Warky Report: Midweek, fall-out and Lincoln (H) on 21:28 - Mar 10 by Warkystache |
Cheers mate. I think I know where this is heading, frankly. I think you do too. I think everyone on here who reads these does. |
Feel for you, not fun or nice to go through, we've all been there and we all know deep down where this goes.
Hopefully it won't be too unpleasant, but I'm sure once you have had the chat you will pour yourself a stiff brandy and breath a sigh of relief. |  |
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| The Warky Report: Midweek, fall-out and Lincoln (H) on 21:41 - Mar 10 with 764 views | BanksterDebtSlave |
| The Warky Report: Midweek, fall-out and Lincoln (H) on 21:28 - Mar 10 by Warkystache |
Cheers mate. I think I know where this is heading, frankly. I think you do too. I think everyone on here who reads these does. |
Not knowing her or (to a lesser extent) you I really don't. She may come back and realise that what you said was fair and true now that she has stamped her youthful feet. One step at a time fella.
Perhaps we can share a pint somewhere near Flatford Mill after my walk. Her that knows best will be itching to come too. Junior may be harsh!! |  |
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| The Warky Report: Midweek, fall-out and Lincoln (H) on 21:43 - Mar 10 with 736 views | runaround |
Good luck mate |  | | |
| The Warky Report: Midweek, fall-out and Lincoln (H) on 21:55 - Mar 10 with 695 views | HatStand |
| The Warky Report: Midweek, fall-out and Lincoln (H) on 21:32 - Mar 10 by Warkystache |
No. It's not even a stepladder. It's probably not one of those step-up things they had in public libraries when I was a kid. |
What appeared exciting at the time, may have moved on too fast. And probably the last person you want to hurt, will be, but don't fake it, if it doesn't work for you man. Tel will see reason.
Kind regards. | |
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