| The Warky Report: Rotherham United (A) 12:52 - Apr 17 with 1053 views | Warkystache |
"Live on Sky" is now my new term for a defeat. Our football bet was Live on Sky this weekend. Tel thought Man City and Spurs and Watford. He did slightly better at Newmarket. But then that's why he keeps in contact with the nicotine-stained, moustache-with-permanently-brown-tips old mugs from his shop, the ones who always slouched rather than walked and could talk a good race. A copy of the Racing Post and the Mirror, a pack of slim panetellas and the sort of broken veins in their cheeks which belied a life spent grizzling over shorts of Teachers and pint of mild. The sort who wear dirty blue bomber jackets even in the summer and put spare roll-ups behind their ears and talk in a mix of cockernee slang and Harry Flashman propriety, and cast weary watery eyes at you and think West 'Am should be good for a cup competition 'but yer can't trust'em' and whose coughs sound optimistically productive, like an old Ford starting on a cold winter's morn.
I know the type well. In my youth, I too had a paper-round. Mine covered the ne'er do well areas; the older, cheekier lads got the riches, the Laburnum Drives and the Laurel Avenues and the Goldings. People who drove strange-looking Saabs and called their children Felicity and Johanna and Miles and had heated garden pools and who tipped lavishly. Mine were the Pearls and the Freds and the Normans, council-house estates, the smell of soot, Ford Cortinas, back doors which opened straight onto the living room, three generations therein, the kids, the parents with their bonhomie and insistence on putting their News of the World on the stairs, some old grannie stuck in a dingy corner knitting.
I digress. That was the 1980's. The truest, sharpest line between the haves and have nots I can remember. Now all the world owns a Playstation 5 and a 60 inch telly and a Monster 4x4 and only in their speech can you hear the class in a classless society. The poor are richer and the rich poorer, and the middle classes in between stretch like a barren plain in a Western, some lower, some upper and some smug.
I went to Rotherham once. Not for the footy. This was a Uni friend's marriage ceremony, late 1990's (I only know this because they played a lot of Oasis and Spice Girls at the evening thing). Armed with my own wife, who'd also been invited. She went to Williams and Griffin for a dress for it. We had an idea she was pregnant. I say 'we'. I meant her of course. I was none the wiser, let's face it. So she was a cheap date. She drank Britvic orange'n'lemonade all night and shout-chatted a lot and 'massaged' her belly in front of folk to get them asking and generally made herself disagreeable to me. And I, in my best Coes suit and tie, DM's burnished to a mirror shine, sat with a few Uni chums imbibing beer and shots and trying to make the best of it, was ignored by her when all her old friends gathered round. We left late. We were staying at a Premier Inn on the outskirts of the town. It looked tired, a bit dated. She accused me of cheapness and lay like an island in the Lakes on our double bed, unreachable, uninhabited. And she wasn't pregnant after all. 'Just pre-menstrual bloating' our GP told her a few days later. And that was my fault as well.
I say all this because it nearly happened again, earlier this year, only with a partner not as disagreeable or 'wrong' as my ex-wife. Paula and I had a bad spell. It's now behind us. Long. long behind us, like remembering something from the mists. Life is happy at the moment. We've finally booked San Francisco as our holiday destination in September. That's most of the wedding money gone, but I'll have Tel's bet winnings (currently nearing £14k) if we decide to pay ourselves early (which he's keen on as he's doing Jamaica around the same time).
It wasn't South Africa, then. Thanks to all for your PM'd advice and long, thorough messages on hotels and wildlife and the like. She just fancied SF. I was ambivalent. But, secretly, I fancied SF as well. Never been. I have been to LA, unfortunately.
Tel's fine. He and Mrs Tel have spent the past week doing their garden. He came out with me on Friday for a few drinks. We decided not to bother with a restaurant and ended up having a meal in the pub. I had the ribs. He had sirloin with chips and salad. Good Friday of course so their desserts were all Baileys-in-an-Easter-Egg topped with squirted cream or hot-cross-bun-bread-pud. So we didn't bother.
He's had a bit of a row with the in-law's. Apparently, it's all to do with the holiday. Something about staying an extra night in Miami with them for $60 more each at their four-star hotel. Anyway, I never got the gist of it. Tel was in puritanical 'rightness' mode. "Ah've pointed outta them six bleedin' times now, we gotta get the flight from Miami at eleven-fifteen that night so there's nah point, jus' means we change to one at two-firty next arternoon an' miss a night in J'maica we've paid for. Even the wife sees that an' yer knar wot she's like wiv Tone, 'e can't do anyfing wrong for 'er". He went on about it all evening. When Mrs Tel arrived to collect us at twelve, he even manipulated the conversation in the car so I could hear her say it as well. She said it in the pinched hushed tones of someone who would probably be happy spending an extra night in Miami with her brother and sister-in-law. I felt for her.
So that's been my week. A nice long Easter weekend. We're off to my parents for lunch at one, so I'll call it a day. I'll do the last report of the season the day after Charlton, despite that being it for me in the football for this season. I can't make Wigan on Tuesday. Birmingham until 6pm for a meeting. I also can't make Charlton on the 30th. Working. I turn older on the 25th, one year precisely. I've got a week off, so's P. We're going to York for a long weekend next Saturday so no report, sadly.
They say next season will be the one. I've signed up again. By not doing anything (I pay my ST by DD). I hope the team's better by then. If yesterday was anything to go by, it was another 'Nil by Sky'. I'm not into change for changes sake but I'd be loath to keep a good few of that squad here next season if I was KMac. Sure, pretty passing and a few nice touches but no end product and a bit of a wet fart in front of millions watching on the telly. That second half was awful. It reminded me of live games shown when Hurst and Lambo were here. Flat, uninspiring, laboured. Still, there's always hope. And a good wedge of dosh and a decent manager for once.
Let's hope the opener isn't Live on Sky..... |  |
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| The Warky Report: Rotherham United (A) on 16:22 - Apr 17 with 854 views | Ftnfwest |
Enjoy York, had a trip to Brum for a meeting a couple of weeks ago and up again soon. Will be scrutinising the game v Wigan… [Post edited 17 Apr 2022 16:23]
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| The Warky Report: Rotherham United (A) on 17:24 - Apr 17 with 789 views | farkenhell |
SF is a good choice. Far better than LA. If you get the chance and want a change of scenery for the day, take a trip to the Napa Valley - about an hours drive inland. |  | | |
| The Warky Report: Rotherham United (A) on 18:52 - Apr 17 with 729 views | witchdoctor |
nice one Warky…pleased that you and P are back on track..👠|  | | |
| The Warky Report: Rotherham United (A) on 21:06 - Apr 17 with 636 views | allezlesbleus |
SF should be better weather wise, than SA in September. If you get another chance to go to SA, I would suggest between Nov and Mar.
Only been to SF once, long ago......but had a good time and way better than LA.
Glad things are back on track with Paula. |  | | |
| The Warky Report: Rotherham United (A) on 13:00 - Apr 18 with 466 views | Kitman |
From another notching up another year on the 25th. Happy birthday! |  |
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