| The Warky Report: Charlton Athletic (H) Farewell, Adieu to you and you and you 13:50 - May 1 with 1633 views | Warkystache |
This could be the last time.
Terry is worried. Mrs Tel had her 'women's fings' appointment last Thursday. He remembered this as we sat at the table watching a waiter carve a whole tandoori roast chicken and he eyed the giblet end.
Truth is, Mrs Tel hasn't been feeling very well recently. "Ah've noticed a lot of bog roll in the pan jus' lately, sorta wadded like. Like she's nestin' or summink" he said, deadpan. She seemed quiet when she drove us to the Indian. No 80's music, hair resorting to its natural bushy state. No retro-punk t-shirt or leather bomber jacket, just black pumps and a plain skirt and a tightly zipped brown fleece. Her kiss hello was perfunctory. Her smile a ghost in their 4x4. No make-up. She shocked me by actually looking as if she was nearly sixty. It used to be an old age, sixty, when I was a kid. Thoughts of grandparents with lavender draw liners and sepia clothes.
Now, two years off it, she made it seem plausible. Her movements were limited. She looked as washed-out as a pair of old Y fronts. "She's jus' a bit tired" said Tel as she drove away, carefully, no elan little skid or screech of tyres. I wished we'd had a taxi. I felt like an arsehole, blithely accepting of a lift from a lady who looked like she'd rather have been sitting quietly watching Eastenders.
Tel was his usual bonhomie. He doesn't tend to notice things like this. If he does, he masks his feelings too well. The lagers had arrived with the poppadoms before he admitted he was a bit worried about her check-up. He'd offered to go with her, a sign of concern as he normally steers a wide berth from surgeries or hospitals. "They sed summink abart an eemia" he supplemented when I asked how it went. He made iron deficiency sound like something Bernie Clifton would have ridden around a stage at an end-of-pier show in Blackpool in 1976.
We had a break from the usual chicken jalfrezi and ordered a whole tandoori chicken. The waiter said "We carve at table" proudly, as though presenting diamonds. His accompanying smirk suggested this was something new and unknown and exciting. Then, when it came, sizzling skin encrusted with what looked like a dirty protest but tasted delicious, he became business-like and carved. I half-expected him to sharpen the carving knives before, perhaps do a quick juggle with them like in Raiders of the Lost Ark, a crowd of oohing kitchen staff watching wide-eyed behind him. But no. He carved into breast portions, legs, and then rolled the still-steaming carcass away on the trolley. The remainder oozed oily on the plates. We dug in. Tel even stopped worrying the bombay potato accompaniment.
We'd ordered pilaff rice with it. They bought this last. We were hoping for a sort of upmarket biryani but we'd just got a few scraps of breast and the legs left by the time it hit the table. It was very nice though. Rice cooked with spices and served with a steaming pile of deep-fried onions and some sultanas in it. And almonds. They'd left the silver tray of chutneys with us so Tel piled into the hot one. He then said "why aint we done this before?" through a machine-gun spit of rice flecks, all of which hit my face and front.
The brandies afterwards tasted reassuringly crap but the ice helped. We waited for the cab set to take us back to the local for a few. I ordered the cab. Tel said Mrs Tel didn't mind picking us up but I felt bad enough that she'd taken us. He nodded eventually and called her to say we'd be late and not to worry about picking us up. When he finished the call, he nodded at me as if to say thanks. Or that's what I thought. He didn't actually say anything.
The pub, minus the scents of cooking and the sitar music background, was better. We found a quiet corner. "Shame yer workin' termorra, could'a gone to see the Town's last game" he said, but without conviction. He's slowly becoming a lost fan. He'll always check the scores and moan and that, but that's as far as it'll go, unless we suddenly look like we're going up, in which case doubtless he'll clamour for a ticket.
"I jus' dunno" he sighed as the third round of brandies hit and the ice finished rattling in the smeary glasses. We'd been talking about the future. He was reassured that Paula and I were now back on an even keel. "For a while back there, I fought you were on the verge" he smiled. No. Not now. I've got over those inner doubts. Life's grand. Although, perhaps tinged with a bit of unease, a feeling that personal happiness means someone else has to suffer, someone close. I've been like that for ages though. Ignore me.
We laughed at the absurdity of worry. But we both subscribe to it, so the laughs had an edge, a veneer of truth behind the stoicism. Tel's in danger of succumbing. He said he was looking around to see the "nex' big fing, summink ah can fill the ole void up wiv, summink I wanna do and enjoy". Travel may be that summink. He's looking forward to Nassau in late summer.
He's still the same newsagent I've always known and loved. Ever since I first went in his shop for a pinta and a Times and a black Bic ballpoint and he had to look for the ballpoint and upset a load of boxes of red and green Bic stock and moaned aloud at how his staff "din't know their ballpoints from their arses" I've been smitten. It came as a shock recently to realise that I've known them all since 2007. Fifteen years in June. I only went in originally because he sold milk and the then-wife had asked me to get some as we'd run out and the queue to park outside Tesco was massive.
Paula was a mere slip back then. 13 going on 30. She was in the background, a sprite dressed in a scuffed pink tracksuit, braces on her teeth, her hair a lank, long tumble in a black scrunchie. A shy smile. Eyes that pondered and wondered and were coy. Now we're getting married. And looking to move away from the area, perhaps to Halstead or Hadleigh. We've decided. The house I bought, it's no longer practical for our plans. So we're looking. It's half-arsed at the moment, just Estate Agencies online and cooing over the pics they post. But it'll happen. And then, just maybe, this world I've lived in for the last 20-odd years will hang itself on a hook somewhere and wait, ready for another bash in old age when our kids have flown and we're grey.
So I missed a good win yesterday. The goals bleeped on my phone, along with the texted updates from Tel. We won a few bets as well. His texts became gradually less comprehensible as the afternoon dragged on, until eventually, knowing there was not much more to complete and anxious to avoid the road-full of scummers travelling back forlorn from Villa Park on MY roads, I left at 3.30pm. Text to Paula, final hands-free call to Tel to congratulate and to say I'd make the local by 7pm and that P was coming with me and we were done. Another season. Shame we didn't make the play-offs, still......
I got home and Paula kissed me as I dismounted the drivers seat and then remounted....well, you don't want all those details, do you? Life is good. Perhaps that's all anyone ever needs to know. And if life continuing to be good means that something else suffers, like a promotion party this time next year, then it's a personal price worth paying to be honest. I'll always be a fan though. I'll always hope the two aren't intertwined. And my luck's in.
Enjoy the summer. We'll probably meet again. Don't know when. I do know where though.
Warky xxx |  |
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| The Warky Report: Charlton Athletic (H) Farewell, Adieu to you and you and you on 15:21 - May 1 with 1490 views | BanksterDebtSlave |
Great stuff Warky. Miss Slave is away so will be reading this to her this evening. Had £5 on a 60 to 1 acca yesterday let down by bloody Cardiff. Happy Beltane....a time of fertility and new beginnings, be careful out there! |  |
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| The Warky Report: Charlton Athletic (H) Farewell, Adieu to you and you and you on 18:03 - May 1 with 1322 views | witchdoctor |
nice one Warky…enjoy your summer..see you July….ish..👠|  | | |
| The Warky Report: Charlton Athletic (H) Farewell, Adieu to you and you and you on 19:16 - May 1 with 1265 views | ChalonerC |
NIcely done Warky, you tell life as it is, and blokes' anxieties and not being able to talk about them really. It's good to share stuff, and yes it was a terrific last game, a performance to be proud of, and give us momentum to next season.
As one who has been unable to drive up to Portman Road - I got hit by a car while out on my bike, ended up in the A & E of the nurse driving the car! Multiple fractures, and watching & reading reports and posts has kept me sane. Not the winter I planned!
Til the end of Summer, farewell. |  |
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| The Warky Report: Charlton Athletic (H) Farewell, Adieu to you and you and you on 09:55 - May 2 with 1026 views | Warkystache |
| The Warky Report: Charlton Athletic (H) Farewell, Adieu to you and you and you on 19:16 - May 1 by ChalonerC |
NIcely done Warky, you tell life as it is, and blokes' anxieties and not being able to talk about them really. It's good to share stuff, and yes it was a terrific last game, a performance to be proud of, and give us momentum to next season.
As one who has been unable to drive up to Portman Road - I got hit by a car while out on my bike, ended up in the A & E of the nurse driving the car! Multiple fractures, and watching & reading reports and posts has kept me sane. Not the winter I planned!
Til the end of Summer, farewell. |
Get well soon mate! Sounds horrendous. Hope you'll be back screaming at another Kayden tap-in come August!! | |
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| The Warky Report: Charlton Athletic (H) Farewell, Adieu to you and you and you on 09:56 - May 2 with 1022 views | Warkystache |
| The Warky Report: Charlton Athletic (H) Farewell, Adieu to you and you and you on 15:21 - May 1 by BanksterDebtSlave |
Great stuff Warky. Miss Slave is away so will be reading this to her this evening. Had £5 on a 60 to 1 acca yesterday let down by bloody Cardiff. Happy Beltane....a time of fertility and new beginnings, be careful out there! |
Hope she's still not cross with me? Have a good summer mate!! | |
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| The Warky Report: Charlton Athletic (H) Farewell, Adieu to you and you and you on 10:13 - May 2 with 994 views | The_Romford_Blue |
As always Warky - thanks for another year of letting us into your lives through the medium of writing.
Roll on next season for another year of Tel. |  |
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| The Warky Report: Charlton Athletic (H) Farewell, Adieu to you and you and you on 10:20 - May 2 with 978 views | BanksterDebtSlave |
| The Warky Report: Charlton Athletic (H) Farewell, Adieu to you and you and you on 09:56 - May 2 by Warkystache |
Hope she's still not cross with me? Have a good summer mate!! |
I think that was only Junior, you can do no wrong in Miss Slave's eyes. Cheers Warky perhaps I'll see you after that walk down your way just before the new season starts! | |
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| The Warky Report: Charlton Athletic (H) Farewell, Adieu to you and you and you on 14:25 - May 2 with 861 views | Ewan_Oozami |
| The Warky Report: Charlton Athletic (H) Farewell, Adieu to you and you and you on 10:13 - May 2 by The_Romford_Blue |
As always Warky - thanks for another year of letting us into your lives through the medium of writing.
Roll on next season for another year of Tel. |
Maybe next year Warky could impart his weekly happenings with Paula and Tel via the medium of contemporary dance on Tiktok? :-) |  |
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| The Warky Report: Charlton Athletic (H) Farewell, Adieu to you and you and you on 14:48 - May 2 with 837 views | Westover |
Warky said this could be the last time I certainly hope not. | | | |
| The Warky Report: Charlton Athletic (H) Farewell, Adieu to you and you and you on 20:29 - May 2 with 707 views | Mullet |
Bravo. |  |
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