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The Good the Bad and the Ugly Eleven 10:50 - Jun 14 with 1344 viewsChurchman

Thinking of the article in EADT about favourite teams, I thought I’d try and put together something a little different.

Goalie - Laurie Sivell. Not in the team because of personality or ability. He’s in it for height (5ft 8ins) and for turning out for Nazi germany in Escape to Victory.
Full Back - Gus Uhlenbeek. Thank god there was a stand to stop him heading off down the A12 when he charged up the pitch. Shot like a shell, shame about the direction.
Full Back - Mauricio Taricco. Lovely player with a touch of evil. Would trample all over an opponent and look wide eyed, arms outstretched innocent. Class
Centre Defence - Hermann Hreidarsson. Looked like Herman Munster. That bar dive in the crowd. I was in the stand that day not far away and it was epic. Good defender too.
Centre defence - David Linighan. According to Wiki, he’s a carpenter now. Well he certainly enjoyed sawing a few people’s legs off. I gather he like a drink before, during and after a game and knocked a player out with the best punch I ever saw on a football field.
Midfield - Jim Magilton. Just nuts. Good player too.
Midfield - Romeo Zondervan. Anyone described as ‘the Porno King’ has to make the team, if only to provide interesting literature to his team mates in the hotel and on the bus. Good player, as it goes.
Midfield - Jimmy Bullard. That’s the drinks sorted then. When he conned a contract and waddled out first game the following season about three stone overweight I nearly died laughing.
Forward - Shefki Kuqi. That goal celebration was worth the entrance money. Extraordinary. Scored a few too. Used to barrel round the pitch like a dog in the park.
Forward - Paul Mariner. Somebody who can play like him and elbow somebody in the face if necessary will always get my vote. He was actually a delight to see play. Brilliant player and person.
Forward - Eric Gates. Looked like a wizened garden gnome and was about the same size. The opposition must have thought wtf is that when he trotted out. They soon found out.
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The Good the Bad and the Ugly Eleven on 11:29 - Jun 14 with 1264 viewsWeWereZombies

I think Whymark was a better 'elbows all over the place' attacker than Mariner, and probably was not conscious that he was doing it. Also Roger Osborne was a tremendous 'I'm going to run towards your goal and I don't care if you try and kick bits out of me' presence coming forward from midfield. Occasionally he came up against a Seventies defender who was more interested in winning the ball than subjecting a fellow human being to harm and the chance was gone.

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The Good the Bad and the Ugly Eleven on 12:02 - Jun 14 with 1215 viewsChurchman

The Good the Bad and the Ugly Eleven on 11:29 - Jun 14 by WeWereZombies

I think Whymark was a better 'elbows all over the place' attacker than Mariner, and probably was not conscious that he was doing it. Also Roger Osborne was a tremendous 'I'm going to run towards your goal and I don't care if you try and kick bits out of me' presence coming forward from midfield. Occasionally he came up against a Seventies defender who was more interested in winning the ball than subjecting a fellow human being to harm and the chance was gone.


Good call. Underrated player, Whymark. I’d love to have seen Ted Phillips play (one of my dad’s favourite players). In the pics he looks like somebody you wouldn’t go near unless you were planning a visit to the dentist.

The trouble with Osborne was that he was will, but by the standards of that time not very good so used to frustrate me. Certainly not the best looking bloke in the world - I can say that from a position of extreme weakness - so qualifies under the ugly category maybe.

Under the bad category, Derek Jefferson? Poor eyesight so he would tackle the lot, would Chopper. He loved all that.
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The Good the Bad and the Ugly Eleven on 12:11 - Jun 14 with 1195 viewsWeWereZombies

The Good the Bad and the Ugly Eleven on 12:02 - Jun 14 by Churchman

Good call. Underrated player, Whymark. I’d love to have seen Ted Phillips play (one of my dad’s favourite players). In the pics he looks like somebody you wouldn’t go near unless you were planning a visit to the dentist.

The trouble with Osborne was that he was will, but by the standards of that time not very good so used to frustrate me. Certainly not the best looking bloke in the world - I can say that from a position of extreme weakness - so qualifies under the ugly category maybe.

Under the bad category, Derek Jefferson? Poor eyesight so he would tackle the lot, would Chopper. He loved all that.


You can't have Jefferson in without including Peter Morris though, can you? And then there's Big Al...

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The Good the Bad and the Ugly Eleven on 12:52 - Jun 14 with 1146 viewsChurchman

The Good the Bad and the Ugly Eleven on 12:11 - Jun 14 by WeWereZombies

You can't have Jefferson in without including Peter Morris though, can you? And then there's Big Al...


Obviously Big Al but he’s in my best ever 11 along with Mariner and Beattie, so as I was going a little left field, I had to leave him out.

I liked Diesel. Really good player so would qualify under the category of good. Perhaps instead of Bullard. Plenty of others can provide the booze.
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The Good the Bad and the Ugly Eleven on 13:58 - Jun 14 with 1097 viewsBonneNIL

The EADT choices were odd, Morsy over some of the players we have had? Odd choice.

For me, growing up in the 90's mine would easy be something along these lines...

Richard Wright/Craig Forrest
Mauricio Tarrico/Fabian Wilnis
Tony Mowbray/John McGreal
Mark Venus/John Wark
Mick Stockwell/Jamie Clapham
Kieron Dyer
Matt Holland/Paul Mason
Jim Magilton/Jason Dozzell
Simon Milton/Bobby Petta
Marcus Stewart/Pablo Counago
James Scowcroft/ Daryl Murphy

At 37, I missed our best-ever teams sadly!

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The Good the Bad and the Ugly Eleven on 14:34 - Jun 14 with 1074 viewsMookamoo

Got to be room for Ian Marshall in that team

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The Good the Bad and the Ugly Eleven on 14:57 - Jun 14 with 1057 viewsChurchman

The Good the Bad and the Ugly Eleven on 14:34 - Jun 14 by Mookamoo

Got to be room for Ian Marshall in that team



Oh yes! I forgot about Marshall. Hulking great bloke, mullet hair and Minnie Mouse voice. Damn good footballer though! I’ll stick Mariner on the bench!

His partnership with Mathie was devastating at times.
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The Good the Bad and the Ugly Eleven on 15:01 - Jun 14 with 1052 viewsArnoldMoorhen

I'll just focus in on "Bad" (and to an extent "Ugly") as in "Mad, Bad and Dangerous to know", because "The Good" confuses things for me.

Ben Thatcher for his elbow on Pedro Mendes (I think ?)
Lee Bowyer for his assault comviction
Michael Chopra for owing money to gangsters and offering Cresswell in a part exchange deal
Wayne Brown not just hard on the pitch, but also for his political views off it
Gary Croft a relative softy compared to this lot, but first Town player in an electronic tag qualifies him:
"But can he do it at Stoke on a rainy night?"
"I'm not sure, I'll just check his parole conditions."

James Norwood's indiscretions are relatively tame in comparison with some of these!

If we were to go for an Opposition XI then Kevin Muscat and Danny Tiatto were two of the dirtiest I remember.

I also had the "privilege" of watching Guy Branston, the lower/Non-League nutjob of choice if there was an opposition forward who absolutely, positively needed to be decked. He was like an Ice Hockey Enforcer, any excuse for a punch up.
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The Good the Bad and the Ugly Eleven on 15:12 - Jun 14 with 1039 viewsChurchman

The Good the Bad and the Ugly Eleven on 15:01 - Jun 14 by ArnoldMoorhen

I'll just focus in on "Bad" (and to an extent "Ugly") as in "Mad, Bad and Dangerous to know", because "The Good" confuses things for me.

Ben Thatcher for his elbow on Pedro Mendes (I think ?)
Lee Bowyer for his assault comviction
Michael Chopra for owing money to gangsters and offering Cresswell in a part exchange deal
Wayne Brown not just hard on the pitch, but also for his political views off it
Gary Croft a relative softy compared to this lot, but first Town player in an electronic tag qualifies him:
"But can he do it at Stoke on a rainy night?"
"I'm not sure, I'll just check his parole conditions."

James Norwood's indiscretions are relatively tame in comparison with some of these!

If we were to go for an Opposition XI then Kevin Muscat and Danny Tiatto were two of the dirtiest I remember.

I also had the "privilege" of watching Guy Branston, the lower/Non-League nutjob of choice if there was an opposition forward who absolutely, positively needed to be decked. He was like an Ice Hockey Enforcer, any excuse for a punch up.


Would Darren Bent qualify for shooting a kid with an air rifle? Or is a police caution a little too tame? Obviously compared to some non-Ipswich players I can think of, like Nile Ranger, it’s small potatoes.
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The Good the Bad and the Ugly Eleven on 15:19 - Jun 14 with 1020 viewsArnoldMoorhen

The Good the Bad and the Ugly Eleven on 15:12 - Jun 14 by Churchman

Would Darren Bent qualify for shooting a kid with an air rifle? Or is a police caution a little too tame? Obviously compared to some non-Ipswich players I can think of, like Nile Ranger, it’s small potatoes.


I think it was a BB gun, but that would qualify him.

I think there is also a story about some of Sir Bobby's squad meeting a bloke for a dodgy deal and taking a shotgun?
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The Good the Bad and the Ugly Eleven on 16:50 - Jun 14 with 952 viewsWeWereZombies

The Good the Bad and the Ugly Eleven on 15:01 - Jun 14 by ArnoldMoorhen

I'll just focus in on "Bad" (and to an extent "Ugly") as in "Mad, Bad and Dangerous to know", because "The Good" confuses things for me.

Ben Thatcher for his elbow on Pedro Mendes (I think ?)
Lee Bowyer for his assault comviction
Michael Chopra for owing money to gangsters and offering Cresswell in a part exchange deal
Wayne Brown not just hard on the pitch, but also for his political views off it
Gary Croft a relative softy compared to this lot, but first Town player in an electronic tag qualifies him:
"But can he do it at Stoke on a rainy night?"
"I'm not sure, I'll just check his parole conditions."

James Norwood's indiscretions are relatively tame in comparison with some of these!

If we were to go for an Opposition XI then Kevin Muscat and Danny Tiatto were two of the dirtiest I remember.

I also had the "privilege" of watching Guy Branston, the lower/Non-League nutjob of choice if there was an opposition forward who absolutely, positively needed to be decked. He was like an Ice Hockey Enforcer, any excuse for a punch up.


Sniff, sniff, you left out Adam Tanner...

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The Good the Bad and the Ugly Eleven on 17:22 - Jun 14 with 922 viewsChurchman

The Good the Bad and the Ugly Eleven on 16:50 - Jun 14 by WeWereZombies

Sniff, sniff, you left out Adam Tanner...


There’s also Paul Taylor of course. £1.5m of awfulness. What on earth were they thinking when they signed him? I didn’t include because he was just too dreadful and dredges up just how bad things were under Evans, Jewell etc.

https://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/football/news/ipswich-town-striker-paul-taylor-20
[Post edited 14 Jun 2022 17:26]
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The Good the Bad and the Ugly Eleven on 17:29 - Jun 14 with 903 viewsellaandred

The Good the Bad and the Ugly Eleven on 15:19 - Jun 14 by ArnoldMoorhen

I think it was a BB gun, but that would qualify him.

I think there is also a story about some of Sir Bobby's squad meeting a bloke for a dodgy deal and taking a shotgun?


Wasn't it to do with Cup Final tickets?
Possibly, meeting Stan Flashman ?
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The Good the Bad and the Ugly Eleven on 17:31 - Jun 14 with 897 viewsArnoldMoorhen

The Good the Bad and the Ugly Eleven on 17:29 - Jun 14 by ellaandred

Wasn't it to do with Cup Final tickets?
Possibly, meeting Stan Flashman ?


I think it was a story that Kevin Beattie enjoyed telling, but hard to know how much it was embellished.
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The Good the Bad and the Ugly Eleven on 17:40 - Jun 14 with 885 viewshoppy

The Good the Bad and the Ugly Eleven on 15:12 - Jun 14 by Churchman

Would Darren Bent qualify for shooting a kid with an air rifle? Or is a police caution a little too tame? Obviously compared to some non-Ipswich players I can think of, like Nile Ranger, it’s small potatoes.


Didn't Jonathan Douglas once get a speeding ticket when playing for us?

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The Good the Bad and the Ugly Eleven on 17:56 - Jun 14 with 868 viewsellaandred

The Good the Bad and the Ugly Eleven on 17:31 - Jun 14 by ArnoldMoorhen

I think it was a story that Kevin Beattie enjoyed telling, but hard to know how much it was embellished.


I wonder if 'The Beat' mentions it in his book. I'll check later.
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The Good the Bad and the Ugly Eleven on 21:56 - Jun 14 with 787 viewsPique

The Good the Bad and the Ugly Eleven on 15:01 - Jun 14 by ArnoldMoorhen

I'll just focus in on "Bad" (and to an extent "Ugly") as in "Mad, Bad and Dangerous to know", because "The Good" confuses things for me.

Ben Thatcher for his elbow on Pedro Mendes (I think ?)
Lee Bowyer for his assault comviction
Michael Chopra for owing money to gangsters and offering Cresswell in a part exchange deal
Wayne Brown not just hard on the pitch, but also for his political views off it
Gary Croft a relative softy compared to this lot, but first Town player in an electronic tag qualifies him:
"But can he do it at Stoke on a rainy night?"
"I'm not sure, I'll just check his parole conditions."

James Norwood's indiscretions are relatively tame in comparison with some of these!

If we were to go for an Opposition XI then Kevin Muscat and Danny Tiatto were two of the dirtiest I remember.

I also had the "privilege" of watching Guy Branston, the lower/Non-League nutjob of choice if there was an opposition forward who absolutely, positively needed to be decked. He was like an Ice Hockey Enforcer, any excuse for a punch up.


What about Alan Lee - both for physical style on the pitch and for leading the cultural sightseeing tour to Amsterdam?

And Adam Proudlock - wasn’t he sacked by Sheffield Wednesday before he came to us? Can’t remember what for.
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The Good the Bad and the Ugly Eleven on 22:28 - Jun 14 with 755 viewsChurchman

The Good the Bad and the Ugly Eleven on 17:40 - Jun 14 by hoppy

Didn't Jonathan Douglas once get a speeding ticket when playing for us?


The concept of Jonathan Douglas and speeding is any shape or form is completely beyond me. An alien concept. I had visions of a 100m race between the Douglas and Lee Chapman. I reckon they might get it done in about an hour.

God, he was bad.
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The Good the Bad and the Ugly Eleven on 22:45 - Jun 14 with 745 viewsWeWereZombies

The Good the Bad and the Ugly Eleven on 22:28 - Jun 14 by Churchman

The concept of Jonathan Douglas and speeding is any shape or form is completely beyond me. An alien concept. I had visions of a 100m race between the Douglas and Lee Chapman. I reckon they might get it done in about an hour.

God, he was bad.


Not saying he was bad at all but Darren Currie might give them both a challenge in that race, and Berra slowed down dramatically towards the end of his career. Of course what Currie and Berra lacked in speed they made up for in guile.

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The Good the Bad and the Ugly Eleven on 23:01 - Jun 14 with 731 viewsChurchman

The Good the Bad and the Ugly Eleven on 22:45 - Jun 14 by WeWereZombies

Not saying he was bad at all but Darren Currie might give them both a challenge in that race, and Berra slowed down dramatically towards the end of his career. Of course what Currie and Berra lacked in speed they made up for in guile.


Agreed! I was trying to remember the Curriemeisters name to add to it. Actually, Gary Roberts moved at a sedate pace, as did dear old Frank Clarke (RIP).
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