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Bear with me through what is going to be a pretty scattered post but I just need to try to get my thoughts out of my head somehow.
You might remember that I have posted in the past about being disillusioned with life in the UK, and the appeal of moving elsewhere (potentially somewhere in Europe) once I complete my [healthcare profession] degree in 2021.
The main reasons that I've mentioned for this are a desire to find a more open and sociable society where it is possible to meet more people and have more social opportunities. I think within the Western world the UK must be up there as one of the most unsociable societies; strangers are treated with suspicion and the population as a whole is pretty reserved and closed off. I can only see this getting worse once we come out of all of this and return to 'normal'.
We have a mainstream media which at the moment is thriving on creating fear in the population, and I can see this scarring society for years to come, with the more impressionable population scared to go outside and interact with anyone they don't know.
Things aren't going to return to a recognisable normal for a long time, and I feel that certain locations are going to carry memories of a life lost, and of social activities which don't exist anymore as they once used to.
I am also not particularly excited about working in a under-funded NHS, where you are essentially working for the establishment (particularly if this is still a Convservative gov). My 'love' for UK politics is currently at an all-time low and I don't feel in any way represented.
I guess what I am saying is that the effects of C-19 are possibly the cherry on the cake for me with regards to wanting to start afresh and build a new life somewhere else, with new people, new places etc. I just don't know anymore where my goals and motivations in life fit in or work here.
I'm not deluded into thinking that anywhere is going to be a perfect utopia, but all of this just feels like the depression on top of the depression for me with regards to the idea of staying in the UK.
Bit of a rant without much structure I know (my thoughts aren't exactly black and white at the moment), but does this make sense on any level or am I being a weirdo?
I think you are operating on a false premise. I do not see a mainstream media thriving on creating fear. Some of the usual idiot sources are. Buts thats not the same thing.
The presence of those seeking the truth is infinitely to be preferred to the presence of those who think they've found it.
(Sir Terry Pratchett)
Yes, that makes sense. If you were already disenchanted with many aspects of life in the UK, then Covid-19 could easily be the spur to put things into action.
Many years ago, a friend of mine moved abroad for several years after his social life had rather fallen apart, stuck in a dead-end job, but the trigger was the sudden death of his father. Suited him for a while, but eventually came back to the UK.
I would encourage anyone to live abroad, it definitely broadens the mind and opens up a whole load of opportunities. I have done it, and while I've never viewed the moves as permanent, I've loved the ones I've made.
I would disagree on your point around the implications of Covid-19 on society, I would actually think it could have the opposite impact. Lockdown will have given a lot of people a taste for a different, less hectic life. Spending time with family, no commuting, quality time with children etc and a greater appreciation for nature and the glorious world around us. From my experience, communities have got closer and people are looking out for each other.
Please don't take this the wrong way, as it's intended as advice, but perhaps consider what it REALLY is that's making you feel this way. That's absolutely not to say a change won't be great, as I said I would fully encourage it, but starting a fresh can be hard and sometimes lonely. So really scratch beneath the surface and face the issues that are making you feel how you are. It could be relationships, work, diet, any number of things. Maybe even explore the support of professionals who are well qualified to support in helping us deal with our emotions. There's still a bonkers stigma attached to it, but why are we all so happy to see a doctor with a physical complaint, but more reluctant to look after our minds in the same way.
You're certainly not a weirdo.
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Am I being silly? Personal effects of C-19 on 12:39 - May 7 with 2916 views
Fifteen years ago I felt much the same and spent a lot of time nosing around properties and towns in South West France, even made an offer on one but that collapsed (mainly due to language difficulties). Then I had a bit of a windfall and realised that I could buy in Scotland. I now realise that i) France took a lurch to the right shortly after I was considering my move and I may not have been happy there being viewed as a 'marginal' and ii) good as it is the French healthcare system has a turgid administration system that would have driven me nuts.
So I am happy with my move to Alba, it means I still get the best of NHS treatment (and it is way better up here than it is down south), I have a varied social life (or I did before the lock down) - there is nothing quite like an 'eeny meeny miny mo, swing your granny by her toe' ceilidh (that's an Iain Banks phrase before anyone goes off on one), and it is possible to live much more cheaply. I don't have a cell of Gael in my DNA and I sound as English as they come but somehow I fit in. I have also been able to slow down, enjoy life more and there is space to do plenty of outdoor pursuits too - when the weather allows....
Am I being silly? Personal effects of C-19 on 12:26 - May 7 by linhdi
I'd be off to France or Spain in a shot if it weren't for Mrs Linhdi's football habit.
I've had a deep down desire to live abroad for a few years now, probably France or Spain too as I rules out long haul due to close family. Hasn't even gotten past being a pipe dream though, not sure I've got the balls. 46 now too, is that too late? 2 kids under 12, not sure that would work too well either!
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Am I being silly? Personal effects of C-19 on 12:59 - May 7 with 2845 views
Am I being silly? Personal effects of C-19 on 12:46 - May 7 by OsborneOneNil
I've had a deep down desire to live abroad for a few years now, probably France or Spain too as I rules out long haul due to close family. Hasn't even gotten past being a pipe dream though, not sure I've got the balls. 46 now too, is that too late? 2 kids under 12, not sure that would work too well either!
I was 58 when I moved to Scotland and if I could have done it twelve years earlier I think it would have improved my quality of life in that intervening period no end but it would also have mucked up family commitments no end (unless I could have persuaded everyone else to move up here). I would also say that what appears short haul to start off with can become very limiting the more you do it, driving six hundred and fifty miles a dozen times a year soon loses the romance of a road trip vibe.
Am I being silly? Personal effects of C-19 on 12:46 - May 7 by OsborneOneNil
I've had a deep down desire to live abroad for a few years now, probably France or Spain too as I rules out long haul due to close family. Hasn't even gotten past being a pipe dream though, not sure I've got the balls. 46 now too, is that too late? 2 kids under 12, not sure that would work too well either!
I moved to Spain (Catalunya) 33 years ago this Summer. I remember going back for the first time at Christmas and telling mates about life here. Two of them moved over within 18 months and are stiĺl here. It's a fantastic country, the bureauocracy is a nightmare and the language(s) are a good challenge.
...as for the football, my son is a massive Barça fan but he's still been to more Town matches, home and away, than visits to the Camp Nou.
Am I being silly? Personal effects of C-19 on 12:32 - May 7 by Chutney
I would encourage anyone to live abroad, it definitely broadens the mind and opens up a whole load of opportunities. I have done it, and while I've never viewed the moves as permanent, I've loved the ones I've made.
I would disagree on your point around the implications of Covid-19 on society, I would actually think it could have the opposite impact. Lockdown will have given a lot of people a taste for a different, less hectic life. Spending time with family, no commuting, quality time with children etc and a greater appreciation for nature and the glorious world around us. From my experience, communities have got closer and people are looking out for each other.
Please don't take this the wrong way, as it's intended as advice, but perhaps consider what it REALLY is that's making you feel this way. That's absolutely not to say a change won't be great, as I said I would fully encourage it, but starting a fresh can be hard and sometimes lonely. So really scratch beneath the surface and face the issues that are making you feel how you are. It could be relationships, work, diet, any number of things. Maybe even explore the support of professionals who are well qualified to support in helping us deal with our emotions. There's still a bonkers stigma attached to it, but why are we all so happy to see a doctor with a physical complaint, but more reluctant to look after our minds in the same way.
You're certainly not a weirdo.
Thanks. I appreciate this type of response (and others on the thread) so much.
My overall outlook does change slightly based on if I am having a positive or a negative brain day, so you can probably tell what today is.
The more optimistic version of me has definitely considered what you said in your second paragraph. I guess only time well tell. Whether any positive change would last or not, who knows. I suspect that a lot of people would revert back to old habits eventually.
I think fundamentally I've just created a massive itch which I will need to scratch and see what happens. I was always hugely reserved and scared to step outside my comfort zone, but ever since I took action to pursue a different career and go to university things have opened up for me and I feel like life should include a bit of adventure. Like you say nothing has to be permanent, and despite what I've said in my original post I'm aware how lucky I am to always have the UK as a safety blanket to fall back to (particularly with the qualification that I will have).
Without trying to sound too gushing, my biggest fear would be to play everything safe and to wind up an old man wishing I could have another go.
Which countries did you think about before? Or at least if you were starting to narrow it down? Countries that have dealt with coronavirus (even in different ways) and haven't turned themselves into basket cases would seem a decent test of a society and its underlying values.
Pronouns: He/Him
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Am I being silly? Personal effects of C-19 on 13:46 - May 7 with 2714 views
Am I being silly? Personal effects of C-19 on 13:10 - May 7 by ThisIsMyUsername
Thanks. I appreciate this type of response (and others on the thread) so much.
My overall outlook does change slightly based on if I am having a positive or a negative brain day, so you can probably tell what today is.
The more optimistic version of me has definitely considered what you said in your second paragraph. I guess only time well tell. Whether any positive change would last or not, who knows. I suspect that a lot of people would revert back to old habits eventually.
I think fundamentally I've just created a massive itch which I will need to scratch and see what happens. I was always hugely reserved and scared to step outside my comfort zone, but ever since I took action to pursue a different career and go to university things have opened up for me and I feel like life should include a bit of adventure. Like you say nothing has to be permanent, and despite what I've said in my original post I'm aware how lucky I am to always have the UK as a safety blanket to fall back to (particularly with the qualification that I will have).
Without trying to sound too gushing, my biggest fear would be to play everything safe and to wind up an old man wishing I could have another go.
In your position, and at your age, I'd go for the adventure.
But which course you decide to take, never regret that decision. That's the road to bitterness and disappointment.
Am I being silly? Personal effects of C-19 on 12:30 - May 7 by sparks
I think you are operating on a false premise. I do not see a mainstream media thriving on creating fear. Some of the usual idiot sources are. Buts thats not the same thing.
That good old “fence sitting” is exactly why we are where we are.
Am I being silly? Personal effects of C-19 on 13:10 - May 7 by ThisIsMyUsername
Thanks. I appreciate this type of response (and others on the thread) so much.
My overall outlook does change slightly based on if I am having a positive or a negative brain day, so you can probably tell what today is.
The more optimistic version of me has definitely considered what you said in your second paragraph. I guess only time well tell. Whether any positive change would last or not, who knows. I suspect that a lot of people would revert back to old habits eventually.
I think fundamentally I've just created a massive itch which I will need to scratch and see what happens. I was always hugely reserved and scared to step outside my comfort zone, but ever since I took action to pursue a different career and go to university things have opened up for me and I feel like life should include a bit of adventure. Like you say nothing has to be permanent, and despite what I've said in my original post I'm aware how lucky I am to always have the UK as a safety blanket to fall back to (particularly with the qualification that I will have).
Without trying to sound too gushing, my biggest fear would be to play everything safe and to wind up an old man wishing I could have another go.
BTW I don't think you can go wrong if you give it a go.
If you give it a proper go you get the chance to find out who you really are in a country where you don't have a natural pigeon hole for others to slot you into. And you can even use it to decide who you want to be.
Then there's the value of new experiences and learning that will definitely kick-start the parts of our brain that we stop using when our adult lives become more and more settled and repetitive.
So in the worst case, you'll get new perspectives on yourself and the country you've left. Which will help you even if and when you want to come back.
Pronouns: He/Him
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Am I being silly? Personal effects of C-19 on 14:44 - May 7 with 2641 views
Am I being silly? Personal effects of C-19 on 12:32 - May 7 by Guthrum
Yes, that makes sense. If you were already disenchanted with many aspects of life in the UK, then Covid-19 could easily be the spur to put things into action.
Many years ago, a friend of mine moved abroad for several years after his social life had rather fallen apart, stuck in a dead-end job, but the trigger was the sudden death of his father. Suited him for a while, but eventually came back to the UK.
It's worth going overseas to make you appreciate what the UK has got in its favour, two years in Colombia made me appreciate UK more, howevet, given the right sort of contract I'd happily live there again, though preferably not Bogota.
So I say travel, if you can, even be nomadic given what you are studying.
Do the charity work in the 3rd world, before deciding on whether to enter lucrative employment for your own wealth of make sacrifices for the health of others.
Am I being silly? Personal effects of C-19 on 13:42 - May 7 by Darth_Koont
Not weird at all unfortunately.
Which countries did you think about before? Or at least if you were starting to narrow it down? Countries that have dealt with coronavirus (even in different ways) and haven't turned themselves into basket cases would seem a decent test of a society and its underlying values.
If Europe, then Bucharest, Budapest and Prague are three cities I would like to visit when possible to see if they might offer the type of thing I'd be looking for.
(I'm not sure whether I could easily practice my exact future profession in those places without knowing the local language. Something to research further).
Elsewhere, I loved Vancouver when I went. Europe would be my first choice at this stage though.
Am I being silly? Personal effects of C-19 on 13:52 - May 7 by SouperJim
Where do you live currently? Worth considering that some parts of the UK are socially warmer than others.
Colchester for university. 'Home' is Suffolk Coastal. If/when I look for a job in the UK, Bristol is appealing to me. I've not been before but it just looks good in videos and I've heard a lot of good things.
Am I being silly? Personal effects of C-19 on 15:21 - May 7 by ThisIsMyUsername
If Europe, then Bucharest, Budapest and Prague are three cities I would like to visit when possible to see if they might offer the type of thing I'd be looking for.
(I'm not sure whether I could easily practice my exact future profession in those places without knowing the local language. Something to research further).
Elsewhere, I loved Vancouver when I went. Europe would be my first choice at this stage though.
[Post edited 7 May 2020 15:27]
That's right. I remember now.
FWIW I have a mate who went to Prague 20 years ago to Teach English as a Foreign Language. He's still there with his Czech wife and two daughters and he's having a much better quality of life than he had in the South East. So that's another success story.
If you're moving to a European capital city and working in a professional environment then I don't think only speaking English will be too difficult at work. But clearly you'll run into a fair amount of people who won't speak it so you don't want to end up socialising with the other ex-pats exclusively or people who really just want to practise their English.
I haven't been to Budapest and Bucharest so no clue there.
I'll be honest though - I think Vancouver sounds overall more interesting and a better place to live and work. But the others sound more unpredictable if you want to be challenged more.
Please go for it now that you've been thinking about it for so long. I can't see how you won't regret missing the opportunity later unless something or someone extraordinary happens to you here in the UK.
Pronouns: He/Him
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Am I being silly? Personal effects of C-19 on 15:54 - May 7 with 2522 views
Young, itchy feet, fed up with UK, can't see what's stopping you tbh.
Think long and hard about where you want to go though. When I worked for my first multinational (in Lagos) they gave me cultural awareness training near the end (would have been handy at the start tbh) and it was quite insightful. My values are very egalitarian and I am certainly not one for authority (no sh1t) status or formality. I am apparently well matched by Australia and Canadian cultures which makes sense as I always feel at home in either country.
My point being - if you want to leave, do it. But do a lot of research on where you go as places vary so much and some will suit you, some won't.
Am I being silly? Personal effects of C-19 on 12:39 - May 7 by WeWereZombies
Fifteen years ago I felt much the same and spent a lot of time nosing around properties and towns in South West France, even made an offer on one but that collapsed (mainly due to language difficulties). Then I had a bit of a windfall and realised that I could buy in Scotland. I now realise that i) France took a lurch to the right shortly after I was considering my move and I may not have been happy there being viewed as a 'marginal' and ii) good as it is the French healthcare system has a turgid administration system that would have driven me nuts.
So I am happy with my move to Alba, it means I still get the best of NHS treatment (and it is way better up here than it is down south), I have a varied social life (or I did before the lock down) - there is nothing quite like an 'eeny meeny miny mo, swing your granny by her toe' ceilidh (that's an Iain Banks phrase before anyone goes off on one), and it is possible to live much more cheaply. I don't have a cell of Gael in my DNA and I sound as English as they come but somehow I fit in. I have also been able to slow down, enjoy life more and there is space to do plenty of outdoor pursuits too - when the weather allows....
[Post edited 7 May 2020 12:47]
I read your second sentence as, "Then I had a bit of a windfall and realised that I could buy Scotland."
Am I being silly? Personal effects of C-19 on 13:03 - May 7 by BarcaBlue
I moved to Spain (Catalunya) 33 years ago this Summer. I remember going back for the first time at Christmas and telling mates about life here. Two of them moved over within 18 months and are stiĺl here. It's a fantastic country, the bureauocracy is a nightmare and the language(s) are a good challenge.
...as for the football, my son is a massive Barça fan but he's still been to more Town matches, home and away, than visits to the Camp Nou.
I'm very interested in Catalunya. I'm looking to leave the UK within 5 years. (I have an EU passport) Where are you ? I'm looking at somewhere around Girona - good for mountains and sea and cycling. Barcelona is lovely but I don't want to live there. Any tips ?
To the OP: I've lived in France and New York. If I could have lived in more places I would have. You won't regret any move abroad as long as you give the new place and the new people a chance. "Adapt or Die" as they say.
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