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at 21:44 10 Jul 2024

From League One loannee to Euros Semi Final!!!!!

I don't think any of us would have predicted this for Ollie Hawkins when we saw him lumbering up front for us!
Come on Charles, be a #bantzlegend
at 11:36 5 Jul 2024

Am I the only one hoping that the King tells Sir Keir that he can fit him in at 6.05pm tonight?

What next?
at 23:18 1 Jul 2024

Tuesday: Prank Call a Local Radio Station!

Wednesday: Shoot a badger!

Thursday: Skinny Dipping in the North Sea!

And that's Ed Davey's bucket list ticked off, on expenses.
Anyone else loving Gary Lineker going full
at 19:15 20 Jun 2024

Middle Aged Man having a rant down the pub?

Micah Richards made the mistake of asking him what he thought, and he totally ditched the anchor role and just ranted at the rest of the panel, who looked at the table awkwardly.

I just rewound and timed it. 1 minute 34 seconds of pure angry rantage!
ATTENTION OF Phil/Gav- do you want some money?
at 12:30 31 May 2024

I am on a Pixel, and it appears that I am not getting any ads served.

I am aware that there is an "under the counter" no ads pay option, so am grassing myself up as needing to avail myself of that service.
Hey! Luke... May the Force be with you!
at 12:02 4 May 2024

I'd love Woolfie to score and photon torpedo the Leeds Death Star on Star Wars Day!

Nervous energy one liners that sum up the mood...
at 11:29 4 May 2024

It's been so long, that whenever I post about the top league on TWTD I write "the Prem", because I'm not sure whether it is called "The Premiership" or "The Premier League" these days.
QPR 4 Leeds 0 Highlights here
at 00:59 27 Apr 2024

In case you haven't seen them yet...

Top sporting tip:
at 13:16 20 Apr 2024

Don't ask a highly trained Olympic Diver to take a penalty.
Genuine question
at 21:48 12 Apr 2024

Why do The Guardian call this group of people a "Settlers rights group"?

Bunch of masked blokes drive into a village and start shooting randomly. Sounds a lot like terrorism to me.
Follow the Town, Up or Down...
at 16:00 6 Apr 2024

We will come back stronger.

We will. Too many tired bodies today. Just a game too far. But let's wait and see how the season ends.
A couple of song suggestions
at 07:40 2 Apr 2024

Every player needs a song against Norwich. To a simple banger that most people know. And where the words scan. Nobody should be left out.

For our giant at the back, to Men at Work's "Down Under":

Oh he comes from the land down under
The giant Cam our Aussie wonder
Do you hear, do you hear him thunder?
You'd better run, you'd better take cover!

For Hladky, to Abba's "Super Trooper":

Vas is our sweeper keeper
His pass is gonna find you
When you make your run
Hladky is our Number One.

And controversially because of the fact that we use the tune for a Scum song, but his name fits so well to The Addams Family theme:

He's leading our attack- he
Will give the ball a wack- he
Is Ipswich's Iraqi
Ali Al Hamadi
Let this sink in...
at 11:03 30 Mar 2024

Ipswich Town have effectively secured at least a Play Off spot with 7 (SEVEN)* games to go. Coventry have 8 games remaining, and are 24 points behind us in 7th, but with a Goal Difference of +16, versus +32 for Ipswich.

It's an incredible achievement, particularly against parachute money teams.

* One for the Vidiprinter fans there.
2 + 2 = 6 post of the day
at 16:07 23 Mar 2024

Chelsea reportedly have to make £100 million of sales by 30th June, or face FFP sanctions.

ITFC have just received substantial investment.

The likelihood of Omari signing permanently has surely increased?
Rather grim Hive Mind question:
at 13:26 20 Mar 2024

I am just wondering what the mood is on this question, which for years would have been practically unthinkable:

What do you think are the chances of a deliberate Russian (or Belarusian or Wagner Group etc) military strike on a target in NATO territory within the next 12 months?

Please give your answer as a percentage, ranged from 0.1 to 99.9%.

If I get a few answers it will give us a Hive Mind average.
It's doing my head in
at 17:33 16 Mar 2024

Who is on the pundits couch with Ambrose in the TownTV studio?
This breaks my heart...
at 21:05 23 Feb 2024

Tears pouring down my face reading this:

I am fortunate to have a big enough home to allow me to house a family of three from the Ukraine. It's a quirk of my circumstances.

I was on holiday when I saw a piece on Newsnight about a Polish teacher who went to the station with a sign saying "Ukrainian families are welcome to live with me" painted on a piece of cardboard. She found a young mum and a couple of children, and took them back to her flat.

The punchline was that she had moved her own children into her bedroom and had already housed two other Ukrainian families.

At that moment I knew that I had a moral obligation to turn an unheated "attic" second floor into accommodation for a family from Ukraine.

If she could do that in her flat, what excuse did I have to keep an entire floor storing my son's old Lego and Match Attax cards?

So work began to put in heating and convert the top floor so that it had a kitchen and bathroom and two bedrooms, and for the last 13.months we have hosted a wonderful family from Ukraine.

We are so lucky. The family who live with us have been incredibly unobtrusive. There is a door to the staircase to "their floor". I haven't so much as stepped onto their landing since they moved in. It is their space. We can go a couple of days without seeing each other

Tomorrow we are going with them to a photographic exhibition at Edinburgh Anglican Cathedral, followed by a concert by Ukrainian and Scottish musicians, to celebrate the resilience of Ukraine and the support of the people of Scotland for them.

Because of their unique circumstances they are only 13 months into the Homes for Ukraine scheme, hosted by us.

But others who came soon after the invasion are just over a month away from completing the two year Homes for Ukraine sponsorship with their hosts.

And they aren't stupid. They know that their hosts are making a big sacrifice letting them into their personal space. And they know that fuel costs, and the general cost of living have gone up hugely, in large part directly due to the war in Ukraine. And they know that the £350 a month, in the first year, and £500 a month, in the second year, payment from the state helps to balance all of those things.

And they know that there is no agreement as to whether these payments will continue into the third year. And, like the Mum and daughter in the linked article, they don't want to be a burden on their hosts, who they appreciate, and not do they want to scrounge and leech from UK taxpayers. So many are making this decision in advance of their two year anniversary with their hosts, to save their hosts from the embarrassment of having to say "I can't afford to keep you."

The shocking thing here is that it is way more cost effective for the Government to announce that the scheme will continue into a third year, than to risk hosting placements coming to an end and families and couples and individuals declaring themselves homeless and adding to the burden of critically over-stretched local authorities, who will have a duty of care to them.

It's so simple.

Just extend the scheme.

Or more people like Svitlana and Hanna will choose to go back to the possibility of death in a war zone rather than become dependent on means tested benefits in a country which they are grateful to, or become a disproportionate burden to a family, couple or individual who welcomed them when they were most in need.

Extend the scheme!

Do it now, Rishi. Just fcking do it!
A gentle reminder
at 17:04 10 Feb 2024

Obviously we were all really excited with our start, especially as it built on an amazing second half to the previous season to give us an incredible 2023.

I guess many of us had started to believe that it would continue. I always believed that we could come back when behind. I kind of laugh to myself when we inevitably concede an early goal, because, you know, we keep making it hard for ourselves, but we keep on overcoming.

But the injury to George Hirst, and, to an extent to Leif Davis and Morsy's two game suspension, showed how we might have a good team, but there are three or four players who we simply couldn't afford to lose.

We didn't have the squad for an automatic promotion challenge.

Maybe we do now. If Morsy and Davis stay injury free, and with Moore being a very good replacement for Hirst, and Al Hamadi showing signs of being a real handful in conjunction with him, we might be able to push for automatic promotion right to the end of the season.

But if we do lose one of our irreplaceable players then that isn't likely. Lose two and it is almost impossible.

So here's the gentle reminder:

George Burley's wonderful team didn't achieve automatic promotion.

Joe Royle, with Bent and Kuqi and Counago at his disposal, only made Play Off Semi Finals.

Mick McCarthy made the Play Offs once.

It's a bloody hard League to get out of. For a newly promoted team to make the Play Offs is an incredible achievement.

We are looking very good to do that. If that is what we end up doing this season, we will have had a great season, even though it may not feel like that.

As good as McCarthy's best, with Didsy and Murphy.

As good as Royle's best, with Bent and Counago and Kuqi.

As good over the regular season as Burley's best, with Stewart and Johnson and Holland.

Do better than that and it will be an absolutely incredible season.
It finally makes sense!
at 16:29 29 Jan 2024

Maybe Mark Ashton struggles with Kieran's accent...

Summer 2022

MA: So Kieran, are there any young talented players you want us to sign that you believe you can develop?

KM: Definitely! I love the look of Al Hamidi! Great young player!

MA: I'm on it!

1st September 2022

MA: Kieran! Look who I've got for you!

KM: (takes him to one side and whispers through gritted teeth) What the fck, Mark! I said Al Hamidi, not Ahadme!
The reality of Paralympic sport
at 12:40 16 Jan 2024

An interesting article with Hannah Cockcroft lifting the lid on the lack of support for British Paralympians.

She is the World Record Holder at 5 distances, and will go into the next season at a disadvantage against her opposition, because they will be using a new racing chair designed by Sauber and she won't because she doesn't have the "spare 40 grand" she would need.
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