| Huge life choices... 14:05 - Apr 21 with 2991 views | clive_baker |
What are the biggest ones you've had to make? Not ones that have naturally evolved that in retrospect were big ie. developing relationships with people, family etc. But ones put on the table, an option A vs. option B type scenario. And do you have any advice to give yourself the best chance of coming to the correct decision?
I have a huge one at the moment, my work has an office in Dublin and have offered me the chance to go out there. It's a pretty punchy pay rise on an already decent London salary. My soon to be wife is a nurse at St George's so her getting a job over there shouldn't be too hard. In that respect it's quite low risk as we could both move back quite easily if we wanted to. The key factor is that she's Irish and has lots of family over there so as much as she loves London it's an attractive option. Trading city life for quiet Irish countryside, with a 2 or 3 day a week commute into Dublin and a couple of days working from home sounds idyllic but I'm not sure if I would be bored sh1tless, especially not knowing anyone except her family. It's quite a long way from family in Suffolk, friends, Portman road..etc |  |
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| Huge life choices... on 14:07 - Apr 21 with 2478 views | J2BLUE |
Nothing to add really other than when you make your mind up, wait a week before telling anyone. Every day for that week keep asking yourself if it's really what you want. If it is then great, go for it. If not, think again. Don't be rushed into a decision. |  |
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| Huge life choices... on 14:10 - Apr 21 with 2455 views | Lord_Lucan |
"Deres more to Oirland dan dis" |  |
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| Huge life choices... on 14:12 - Apr 21 with 2452 views | NewcyBlue |
When I joined the Merch I left Felixstowe and moved to Newcastle to do my training. I took a 75% wage cut to do it too.
Very few things are irreversible. Communication with your partner is key. Pros and Cons lists don't work. You can look at it objectively with it, but emotions play a big part.
No real advice, other than you can only try. An open mind is better than trepidation and anxiety.
Dublin is a wonderful city! |  |
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| Huge life choices... on 14:13 - Apr 21 with 2441 views | TIB |
Sounds like it's definitely worth a punt. More money, get to know her family, see where she grew up and experience a different way of life. It shouldn't require too much drama to move out there either and it's only a short flight back to London.
My wife was offered a job in The Cayman Islands last year...hugely attractive incentives, options for me to work...and then the thought of nicer weather, nice beaches...all sounded amazing...HOWEVER...we decided in the end it wasn't right as unfortunately it was on Cayman Brac which required 3 flights to get there and the island is tiny with very little to do other than fishing and diving. Had it been on Grand Cayman we would have gone...hey ho. We are always keeping our eyes out for work abroad though, I think it would be a cool life experience. Best of luck with whatever you choose sir  |  |
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| Huge life choices... on 14:15 - Apr 21 with 2420 views | usm |
Do it. You never know how long it'll be until the next opportunity arrives. |  |
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| Huge life choices... on 14:16 - Apr 21 with 2418 views | Reuser_is_God |
Do it. |  |
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| Huge life choices... on 14:31 - Apr 21 with 2371 views | Pendejo |
Strangers are friends you have yet to meet.
or as I saw in a bar somewhere overseas [turkey I think] - there are no strangers allowed in this bar only new friends.
Go for it, especially if nothing to lose.
Personally have crossed the Atlantic twice, everything in life is good if getting paid, have roof over head, family and access to the internet. |  |
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| Huge life choices... on 14:35 - Apr 21 with 2352 views | Kieran_Knows |
Go for it. You've said it yourself, you can always come back! |  |
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| Huge life choices... on 14:38 - Apr 21 with 2346 views | SaleAway |
Sounds like a fairly easy decision to me.... if you don't take this - I'd suggest you will never leave london. All the other stuff is set up, and its just a little bit of the fear of the unknown that is holding you back.
From a couple of trips to Ireland, I can't help but think this is a great opportunity. You'll have different family, find new friends, and probably find some great irish sport to follow. But also - its only Dublin - you could probably fairly easily do the odd day trip back for Town matches... dublin to stansted etc... |  |
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| Huge life choices... on 14:40 - Apr 21 with 2341 views | horsehollerer |
Go on, give it a season. I guarantee you'll learn more about yourselves and each other if you do it. And like others have said, if it doesn't work out, you can can always come back! |  |
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| Huge life choices... on 15:01 - Apr 21 with 2306 views | DistantBlue |
For what its worth....I left the UK to move to the Netherlands with my now Dutch wife. I too knew nobody, I didn't have a job, it was an adventure. Now, nearly twenty five years later I'm still here. No regrets. NL, like Ireland, isn't so far away, trips back are easy. Different countries all have slightly different ways of life and doing things, you will undoubtedly find things you like more than comparable things back home.......you might just be surprised by how many! |  | | |
| Huge life choices... on 15:04 - Apr 21 with 2301 views | bluelagos |
You've got an amazing opportunity and the only downside is you may be bored?
I'd make sure you are living within easy distance of central Dublin (for both work and play) and make an effort, and I struggle to see how you will be bored. Dublin should have everything you want (and then some) and if the worse comes about, you sound like you can come home.
Make sure you give it a minimum of 2 years would be my only advice. Read up on culture shock, you'll have an amazing first 3 months, then a big down, then truly settle in (if you follow the norm) |  |
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| Huge life choices... on 15:05 - Apr 21 with 2293 views | WD19 |
| Huge life choices... on 15:04 - Apr 21 by bluelagos |
You've got an amazing opportunity and the only downside is you may be bored?
I'd make sure you are living within easy distance of central Dublin (for both work and play) and make an effort, and I struggle to see how you will be bored. Dublin should have everything you want (and then some) and if the worse comes about, you sound like you can come home.
Make sure you give it a minimum of 2 years would be my only advice. Read up on culture shock, you'll have an amazing first 3 months, then a big down, then truly settle in (if you follow the norm) |
Read between the lines. The only downside is that once the Mrs gets to Ireland he may never get her back.....so he needs to decide if he is prepared to live in Ireland forever. |  | | |
| Huge life choices... on 15:09 - Apr 21 with 2278 views | linhdi |
| Huge life choices... on 15:04 - Apr 21 by bluelagos |
You've got an amazing opportunity and the only downside is you may be bored?
I'd make sure you are living within easy distance of central Dublin (for both work and play) and make an effort, and I struggle to see how you will be bored. Dublin should have everything you want (and then some) and if the worse comes about, you sound like you can come home.
Make sure you give it a minimum of 2 years would be my only advice. Read up on culture shock, you'll have an amazing first 3 months, then a big down, then truly settle in (if you follow the norm) |
I have only ever benefited from working "away", whether 3 months in Switzerland pre-uni, or the 8 years I spent on the Isle of Man and Guernsey in the 1990s. Career-wise the moves were a bit sideways, but they opened up far better opportunities in later years when I came back to UK.
But I did turn down a chance to leave UK again, and go to Bermuda (around 2008), as the by-then Mrs Linhdi refused to miss Town games. I offered she could fly home every weekend home game, but, no, that wasn't enough. We stayed put.
Follow your heart. | | | |
| Huge life choices... on 15:13 - Apr 21 with 2261 views | bluelagos |
| Huge life choices... on 15:05 - Apr 21 by WD19 |
Read between the lines. The only downside is that once the Mrs gets to Ireland he may never get her back.....so he needs to decide if he is prepared to live in Ireland forever. |
Fair point, I missed that.
More reason to make sure you are in Dublin and not the family village in the sticks. Make the weekend trip to see the family once a month, not once a month to Dublin to escape them. | |
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| Huge life choices... on 15:16 - Apr 21 with 2237 views | ClausThomsen |
Twist. | | | |
| Huge life choices... on 16:10 - Apr 21 with 2158 views | RoyKeanesDog |
Flip a coin pal. |  |
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| Huge life choices... on 16:19 - Apr 21 with 2145 views | Fixed_It |
Would you really want to risk missing our promotion season? Just thought I'd drop that in there...
Seriously, it sounds like a great opportunity - but I agree that it might be worth looking at living in the City and visiting the rustic relations more sporadically. |  |
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| Huge life choices... on 20:53 - Apr 21 with 2038 views | emergencylime |
There's a handful of us over here!
I live in Dublin but being Suffolk born i'd love to get out of the city...in terms of being bored it depends how far out you'd be when you say Irish countryside. |  |
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| Huge life choices... on 22:11 - Apr 21 with 1948 views | BanksterDebtSlave |
The Irish countryside is very quiet. To be honest it sounds like a minefield! Mind you, as the fuse is lit, a lot is going to depend on how keen she is to go back. Have you been together a long time , only ask because you said soon to be married so a change of location as well will mean a whole lot of new dynamics. Saying that though if it pays that well then flight time is about the same as a train from here to London.
Toss a coin and see how you feel immediately after it lands on whatever option....trust that instinct. |  |
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| Huge life choices... on 22:15 - Apr 21 with 1938 views | BanksterDebtSlave |
| Huge life choices... on 15:01 - Apr 21 by DistantBlue |
For what its worth....I left the UK to move to the Netherlands with my now Dutch wife. I too knew nobody, I didn't have a job, it was an adventure. Now, nearly twenty five years later I'm still here. No regrets. NL, like Ireland, isn't so far away, trips back are easy. Different countries all have slightly different ways of life and doing things, you will undoubtedly find things you like more than comparable things back home.......you might just be surprised by how many! |
If it was the Netherlands then I would say give it a go, but I'm basing that on 30 year old
memories. | |
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| Huge life choices... on 23:05 - Apr 21 with 1893 views | Vic |
On the surface it sounds to me like there's a lot of potential benefits and not a lot of negatives in there! The balance for me definitely tips towards going.
If the fear of boredom and loneliness is a big one for you talk that through with your missus, explaining that you'd like to go but worry you might not settle. You need to have an understanding on what would happen in that situation - remember, it could be a big wrench for her if you can't settle but she really does and doesn't want to leave.
I've no idea how old you are but my gut feeling is that you'd get use to the slower and more laid back life as you get older! |  |
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| Huge life choices... on 23:40 - Apr 21 with 1849 views | michaeldownunder |
I moved to Australia 10 years ago, wow time has flown by, It's the other side of the world but only 24 hours from the UK.
My wife is Australian so we have her friends and family close by but it was me who wanted to come here, she was not that bothered.
Life for me has changed in small ways, bigger house, more relaxed job but I do miss how close everywhere is in UK/Felixstowe. In two hours you could be in France, here it takes three hours to get to the next state of NSW.
I do miss going to the football, no matter how good or bad the team was playing from the 70s through to the current team. Strangely I miss going and coming back from the games rather than the game it's self. Talking to fans who I did and did not know on the train and walking to and from the ground.
Will I ever move back to the UK, prob not. My parents have passed away and although I have one sister and loads of nieces and nephews and their children skyping and e-mails keep me in the family loop.
So I would say go for it, it's only about a hour on the plane and as you say you can always move back to London. It takes me an hour to go into the city to watch Brisbane Roar.
Michaealdownunder |  | | |
| Huge life choices... on 23:44 - Apr 21 with 1845 views | Darth_Koont |
Go for it. Not sure what age you are but the uncertainty and the opportunity to explore outside of your comfort zone will help define your future life.
If you feel that your future life is already defined, stay put. |  |
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| Huge life choices... on 23:47 - Apr 21 with 1835 views | Darth_Koont |
| Huge life choices... on 15:05 - Apr 21 by WD19 |
Read between the lines. The only downside is that once the Mrs gets to Ireland he may never get her back.....so he needs to decide if he is prepared to live in Ireland forever. |
It's a good point. But isn't that level of commitment why you get married in the first place? Or why bother? | |
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