Have you ever spoken to a steward at a football match, or barged passed these marshals desperately trying to find your seat, or your place to stand? Stewards are the people who are dressed in shockingly bright and bulky clothes.
Welcome back to the fallacious blog that inspired audiences worldwide to believe we had a chance of beating Derby, predominantly because it managed to finally get a prediction correct. After last week’s forecast turned out to be the biggest let-down since The Matrix Reloaded hit the cinemas, If Stats Won Games returns the once again back the Blue Army!
On January 1st 2005 I was sitting (well standing) in what has been known as the North Stand or Sir Bobby Robson lower to you newbies. West Ham were the team coming to Portman Road. Being an East London boy, this was my biggest game of the season due to childhood abuse (banter) from school-mates. Sadly we lost 2-0. They ended getting promoted and we didn't.
Remember the last time that we lost 1 - 0 at Portman Road? It was, I remember, a sunny, warm day on August 23rd. Those unpleasant lot from up the road came bustling their way down - their forums spoke in eager anticipation of another thumping that they were going to deliver on us. Fortunately, that didn't occur. But we lost. Again.
As the residents of Hell continue to complain of frostbite, and pigs continue their post-flight feather preening, If Statistics Won Games returns from the uncharted waters of a successful scoreline prediction.
January, a month that will define our season. This is not me merely swaying from the obvious - not by a long shot, for obviously even if Ipswich win all of their games in the upcoming month they will not be promoted nor will we have won anything.
As we begin 2015, we can only applaud the side's efforts so far and humbly admit that we did not expect that they had this kind of football in them. The Tractor Boys may have become not only play-off hopefuls, not even promotion candidates, but title contenders.
Jose Mourinho claims there is a "media conspiracy" against Chelsea. Most pundits scoff at such a suggestion, but I'd like to argue that he is almost correct in his assertion. It's just that the team being unfairly treated is Ipswich Town, not Chelsea.
Well, 2014 comes to an end with ITFC in a position that not even the most optimistic of us would have predicted. True, we finished 2013 in the top six but that was a fleeting stay for only three days and we never looked too likely - three minutes at Watford apart - to finish there. Now, however, failure to finish in the top six would be disappointing and it's impossible not to wonder if we might just manage more than that.
“You can’t do that!” enthused Feed The Bish. “It’s meant to be the feel-good blog: you write a home-truth here, spin a curveball there, but then it’s 2-0 Ipswich or a solid away point and we all leave happy that the stats Gods are on our side. And on Boxing Day no less, [you predict a defeat] against a side that has not beaten a team beginning with ‘I’ since 1956!”. Fresh from violating its own premise, it’s the renegade blog - If Stats Won Games!