| The Warky Championship Report 2025/26: Preston (A) 11:18 - Aug 24 with 324 views | Warkystache |
The Joys. Waking at 6.30am on a Sunday, alarm clock piping, dawn barely broken and pigeons on the patio cooing and pooing. Last Sunday, 12pm kick-off, the heat of the day a distant Ashton promise. The sun would come, by private jet, and then take six weeks to integrate. If you can put up with Jack Taylor for now.....
The coolness of the walk along the Stour, mind fretting on line-up and lack of transfer activities. True, we had Cajuste, although how fit he'd be was a moot point. Compared to the dogs that gambolled free around my legs, he was the snuffling bulldog, led on a lead, wheezing to the end when we needed the border collies and black labs of energy.
Breakfast was two pints of Guinness in the Station Cafe at 9.30am, accompanied by a fried Terry in a bun, his deep blue YSL short-sleeve untucked, showing black patchy bodily hair in obscene tufts which sprouted like ivy from his exposed neck and stomach. His shorts were grey adidas. His trainers were white adidas with a scuffed toe and deep blue stripes. His sunglasses were Ray Ban and were as black as the eyes of a nutter.
Is there anything more unjust than a 12pm kick-off in a nothing league when you've a hangover worse than an ancient mariner curse? Nope. Belching from the first sips of my pint, I eyed the greasy bacon and egg buttie thing Tel was carefully adding brown sauce to and winced. A distant autumnal chill crept down my back. I wondered if I'd manage to down the inky depths of my beer.
I felt better by 11.45am as we walked to the ground. Not great, but better. The sun was warm and the assorted other beers we'd managed were taking the edge off. The crowds were anticipatory and the queue for SBR a mere bagatelle of mixed folk in summer dress. Exactly a year ago, we'd been eagerly anticipating Liverpool. Now, a desultory and frustratingly inept year later, here we were, shorn of Hutch, Morsy and Mass, Burgess and Broady and with the threat of the Woolf asking to go.
We drew 1-1. I thought we were the better team but, Sammie's post smasher aside, we looked a bit anodyne. Still, I thought as Tel muttered on about playing Jack Clarke on the left and 'wot the bleeding 'ell was Phillo doin' wiv that over'ead fing?' and drawing breath to say Cajuste looked unfit, at least we didn't lose. That thought consoled me during a week when I wanted furious transfer activity and instead saw us overpay by at least £5 million for Kasey McAteer. Still, he's always looked OK whenever I saw Leicester.
Yesterday. The start of a glorious bank holiday weekend, marred only by the slightly chilly overcast weather and a large split I found in the sole of my favourite walking shoes, which means a trip out to Mountain Warehouse or some such retailer for a new pair next week. Could go today but there's plenty of jobs need doing. The Birmingham store has a sale on as well.
So I spent the Saturday as you should spend a Saturday, drinking in the pub, spot of lunch, unhindered by Terry who was taking his wife to Freeport and would be back next Saturday at the more amicable time of 10.30am to collect me for Derby County at home. The pub opened at 11am and I was first in, which probably marks me in several eyes locally as an alkie. Triumphant order of a pint, settling into the nook near the wood burner of seldom use and at a table comfortably for one although they put two beer mats on it and an extra stool. Optimistic by them. Two of you would be a squeeze even if you both had similar builds to Stan Laurel.
By twelve, I'd been joined by a few old folk, Jimmy the local geezer in his burberry cap and sunnies and with his customary foul mouth. "F***in' Potter" he growled as he laid eyes on me. I nearly took offence, but then realised he'd had tickets for West Ham v Chelsea last night. He popped over for a quick natter/diatribe about last night's match. He sounded like a cockney Walter Sobchak out of The Big Lebowski. All he needed was someone like Donny to berate.
God help us if West Ham get relegated this season. As funny as everyone else would find it, you don't have Jimmy as a regular in your local. He'd probably trash the place.
He went to join the two young lads playing pool and the computerised fruities in the back room. I could still hear him bemoaning West Ham's first team, especially James Ward Prowse who was now renamed W**khouse. I smiled and studied the lunch menu, opting between the rack of ribs with chips and 'slaw, the Quarter Pounder with cheese, bacon, avocado (spelt advocadoe) and chips or the Hunters Chicken with chips and onion rings. I had the ribs. It was easier.
By 2.50pm, the tide was out and boats were up on sandbanks. The Man City game was still quietening in the back room, the Spurs fans winding up Jimmy, who came out for another Carling and returned with death writ large on his beetroot-coloured mush. Then they all went down the next pub as they have some special satellite thingy which means you can watch 3pm Prem kick-offs in Turkish or Punjabi and all was peace again.
I was glad they'd gone, especially as we went 1-0 down and that Scum supporter they've got on Soccer Saturday who usually loves it when we lose looked all happy again. Despite the fact his team also lost, eventually.
We never clawed it back. I left at 5pm, anticipating the Arsenal fans imminence and wanting to pick up a take-away curry before the town became busy. I walked it home, the King Prawn Jalfrezi with two chapatis and an Aloo Gobi and mint sauce. Bunged it in the oven for a quick reheat, got a beer from the fridge and settled back to enjoy at my dining table in the kitchen, watching Gary Eats on Youtube.
Another winless match. i hope those that travelled saw something positive. I've gone from hope to secretly fearing next Saturday. Still, we should beat Derby County?
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| The Warky Championship Report 2025/26: Preston (A) on 11:53 - Aug 24 with 220 views | strikalite |
Superb as usual Warky, I needed a laugh, I think once we've all read this we should log off and try and forget it until next week, easier said than done of course.. |  | | |
| The Warky Championship Report 2025/26: Preston (A) on 12:00 - Aug 24 with 197 views | John_Warks_Willy |
Any Big Lebowski reference puts a smile on my face up 👌👌👌👌
Every one needs a Donny sometimes [Post edited 24 Aug 12:01]
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