had a pint last night and it brought back the memory of the time i went out for an afternoon pint in toronto and got kidnapped by a dragon from canadas own dragons den.
after having a few pints with him, periodically disturbed by people asking him to sign stuff or posing for a photo with him, he went to the toilet and i asked his sh!tfaced pal exactly who he was to be informed of the information that he was a fire breathing, princess stealing sort. he bought alot of whiskey and then when i said i had to meet my cousin and his girlfriend he got me in a headlock and ran out of the bar and up the street with me until i said i would party with him.
he shared his headphones with me and we listened to a combo of sabbath, motorhead, bloodfart and DC whilst he sang full pelt and encouraged me to do so too. he would only stop to drink whiskey and wave at girls.
then we went to a clothes shop he owned where he threw roughly $600 dollars of clothes at me and asked me to play guitar with him in the basement where he had a drumkit set up. we did a few tunes before he ran into a toilet and had a sh!t with the door wide open. he sang the whole time.
whilst this was happening a stern but professional lady appeared and asked me where michael was. i said, "he's singing in the toilet and i really need to go cause i have no phone, im not really sure where i am and my cousin and his girlfriend are supposed to be making me dinner but they probably think im dead". she told me he was late for his sons baseball game and she would facilitate my release and his way onward to the game.
he tried to take me to the game but i started running, rolled up in $600 worth of clothing he insisted i take, into the cold toronto night. i drunkenly found my way to my eventual destination periodically stripping another layer of michellin man like clothing off and handing it to homeless folks like a fashion onion.
my cousin didnt believe me but luckily the dragon had slipped a signed photo of himself into my top pocket. [Post edited 18 May 2019 12:16]
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