| The belated Warky Report: On a Wednesday??? MK Dons (A) 20:15 - Feb 16 with 785 views | Warkystache |
On a Wednesday? Surely this should be a Sunday post? I know what you're thinking. Still, with the wind battering me daffodils and the rain puddles making my early-morning cigarette in my towelling dressing gown a decidedly damp affaire, here we are.
Truth is, one of my neighbours died on Friday last week. Brian, a nice bloke, lived on his own since 1999 when his wife Maureen passed. I say 'on his own' but he had a cat, Tibby, a lovely little thing. Brian's daughter Cass came round with the bad news on Sunday. He'd been in hospital for treatment on a leg ulcer. I made her a coffee and she sat and cried a bit and I hugged her and said how sorry I was. She offered me Tibby. She can't have cats because her husband's allergic. Trouble is, we're not set up to take a cat at the moment, so I had to decline politely. Fortunately, one of my other neighbours is happy to take her. It's not Kurt Zouma either, before you ask.
Mrs Tel is also allergic to cats, hence the lack of pets at Chez Tel. Which is probably just as well considering they're off to Spain for three weeks from the 4th March. Tel is charged with making sure everything's ready, "From passports ter pisspots" as he delightfully put it on Saturday night when we went for another Italian at Luccas in Manningtree.
Paula joined us this time so he was on better behaviour and only made the crack about "yer up the duff yet?" once when she ordered the (frankly enormous) Calzone with salad. Paula has had a bit of a falling out with her Mum; nothing serious but she's giving her a bit of a wide berth at the moment. Her Mum has been trying to organise our wedding for us. Unbidden, she seems to delight in speaking to local hostelries on her own to see what sort of deal they can do for the reception. She (probably) means well, but Paula and I have since fielded three perplexing calls from assorted local pubs and clubs asking if we want to book their premises now at the rate discussed. Which we weren't aware of. It's embarrassing to have to put them off. So that's why.
We were hoping that Mrs Tel might join us at Luccas, which would have meant Tel being on his bestest behaviour but she was having a night out with two of her girlfriends in Colchester, so Paula nobly agreed to spend a night on the fizzy water and drive Tel home. Tel looked momentarily nervous at this offer; remembering the time (which he's never let her forget by the way) he sneaked up behind her when she was learning and pretended to be in a hurry, beeping his horn and causing her to stall at a junction. "There's cows in a field near Ramsey, love" he said, patting her arm reassuringly. "Jus' make sure the poor bleeders can still stand there tomorrah eh?"
So we ate, and Tel ordered Paula's San Pellegrino water with barely a snort of bemusement, and I had salad (which he did snort at) and then fish, and he had the meatballs and the sort of pizza that could probably be fitted to the axles of a car and used as an emergency spare. It had cheese and sausage and salami and beef and olives and peppers and parsley. He ate the lot, American style, folding the slices and downing them like a sword-swallower. We both refused pudding in favour of brandies and Paula had the Tiramisu.
The journey home was uneventful, save for Tel (sat in the back) pointing out the home of a former friend of his who had moved to Spain and who he was meeting in a bar on the 5th March for "a catch-up, like, aint seen Spindle for two year or more, 'ope 'e aint gone all native on us". 'Spindle' is actually a bloke called Dave who got his nickname because he has, or had, very thin legs. "Looked like a bleedin' Daddy Long Legs 'e did" said Tel, fomenting mental images of a bloke with six legs and wings and a very big nose. He's promised to take a few pictures on his phone. I didn't know if I particularly wanted to see them.
He's promised to come with me on Saturday for Burton at home. He should bring us luck, he said. "Only seen 'em lose twice in twenny-odd games" he said proudly. I've promised him a Trongs and have booked the restaurant for 7.30pm, plenty of time for a few celebratory drinks in DeGenero's or The Wolsey after the match. As this'll be the last time I get a meal with him before he goes (he's in Braintree on the 25th and then all that weekend), we decided to make a night of it. We dropped him at home and the tell-tale blue flickering light of the telly on their lounge curtains told us Mrs Tel was back from her evening out. "She's never late" said Tel, dismissively. He paused to give Paula a thank-you kiss and then got out, adjusted his jeans around his arse and b*llocks and then winced as Paula reversed back onto the road and drove us home. I thought she did it brilliantly. He is a card.
So that was my week. Aside from the boring work bit and the long, passionate love-making bits that I know some of you enjoy (thanks for the PM's by the way, especially those of you who tell me it's put a bit of spark back into your marriages) it was four walks, an Italian and, sadly, a funeral to come. I told Cassie I'd go and to let me know and she was grateful. Brian was one of the few people (apart from Tel) who saw through my ex-wife and made his feelings clear on the subject. And, while I thought he was an interfering old b*gger at the time and thought about telling him to mind his own on numerous occasions, he was right, and he was looking out for me. It's sad he died in a hospital on his own. He loved his bungalow and his late wife, and he used to give me tomatoes and lettuce he'd grown in his greenhouse.
Still, it comes to all of us eventually. That's why I'm so thankful for my lot at the moment. As much as I hate to admit it, Tel was right. It's better to be happy with your lot and feel satisfied than carry on pretending to be a rock. I'm only sorry it's taken me forty-seven years to realise it.
|  |
| |  |
| The belated Warky Report: On a Wednesday??? MK Dons (A) on 07:48 - Feb 17 with 516 views | BanksterDebtSlave |
First off, thanks for the donation Warky, I will have to meet you and Tel for lunch time drinks!!
Nearly missed this one but you generated a morning cheer in bed from Miss Slave. You know why, not for sparking up our sex life btw the rest of you! |  |
| |
| The belated Warky Report: On a Wednesday??? MK Dons (A) on 08:56 - Feb 17 with 470 views | Warkystache |
| The belated Warky Report: On a Wednesday??? MK Dons (A) on 07:48 - Feb 17 by BanksterDebtSlave |
First off, thanks for the donation Warky, I will have to meet you and Tel for lunch time drinks!!
Nearly missed this one but you generated a morning cheer in bed from Miss Slave. You know why, not for sparking up our sex life btw the rest of you! |
Not a problem Banks! Tel may donate as well, only (obviously) I won't tell him how and where. He's not clever on computers so he may just slip me a twenty and I'll add it on here later.
Meeting might be an issue simply because I'm not sure where we'll be drinking. He likes Three Wise Monkeys though.
I'm always nervous about him 'meeting' folk off here. He's not as daft as he looks or sounds..... | |
| |
| The belated Warky Report: On a Wednesday??? MK Dons (A) on 09:08 - Feb 17 with 457 views | BanksterDebtSlave |
| The belated Warky Report: On a Wednesday??? MK Dons (A) on 08:56 - Feb 17 by Warkystache |
Not a problem Banks! Tel may donate as well, only (obviously) I won't tell him how and where. He's not clever on computers so he may just slip me a twenty and I'll add it on here later.
Meeting might be an issue simply because I'm not sure where we'll be drinking. He likes Three Wise Monkeys though.
I'm always nervous about him 'meeting' folk off here. He's not as daft as he looks or sounds..... |
Probably best I don't risk it....might be like Hotel Caloifornia but with a grumpy child in tow. There's a link to the route somewhere, do you know of a good half way watering hole? | |
| |
| |
By continuing to use the site, you agree to our use of cookies and to abide by our Terms and Conditions.
