| The Warky Championship Report 2025/26: Scumfield United (H) 10:16 - Sep 15 with 411 views | Warkystache |
Sorry. Shouldn't have called them Scumfield now, should I? Let bygones be bygones and all that, as my late Grandad used to say about the Germans (but not the Japanese).
For those of us unfortunate enough to be in their early to mid twenties in 1997 and holding a ticket in lower Churchmans for the play-off semi-final against Howard Kendall's Blades (you don't get football managers like Howard any more. Short, widow's peak, pinched face, Burton's suit), it was obvious. Forgive and forget? Never. I'd still like to have seen Treacle deck Jan Aage Fjortoft at the end when he sneered in our hero's face. True, they weren't "kick 'em in the air" like Bolton under Fat old Allardyce. But it was a game we should've won and we didn't and it hurt. Like hell. Forget Charlton, they were better than us a bit on the night. Forget Bob Anderson the year after. The first one always hurts the most.
What made it worse was the fact that I encountered the Sheffield United team coach about 6pm driving from Hintlesham Hall, on that bit of back road between Hintlesham and Washbrook. My mate took a detour as the A12 around the ToysRUs was a bit busier than normal and we didn't fancy waiting ten minutes in a queue. We made the obligatory Gareth Hunt Nescafe signs at the smoked glass windows. Then, on an impulse I've fortunately not had since, I leaned out the back passenger window and made a sign pointing down. Three or four of their players immediately came to the front of the coach shaking their heads defiantly. Perhaps they'd had a plan all along? Can't help thinking I might have Jonah'd us that night. I still think I might.
I'm now that bit older and greyer, but somehow Sheffield United still make my insides pucker. You never know what you'll get. Premier League yo-yo club as they were (and something we're hoping to emulate this season), they have nevertheless got a fair smattering of talent. I can never understand why we didn't go for Gus Hamer once we knew Hackney was a no last summer. I quite like that Sydie bloke they have in midfield. Michael Cooper is an upgrade on Palmer (or so I thought before the game. Later I'd think differently) and Tyrese Campbell scores a fair few. They're no mugs.
I was sitting next to Tel in Sir Alf Upper. His SAR neighbour was in Crete and had (magnanimously) given Tel his season ticket. A game watched with Tel is never dull, not that my usual standing perch in SBR Lower isn't, but it's the stuff he randomly says and shouts that entertains. A bloke in the away end declared war early by giving us the old middle finger as Sheffield attacked. Tel then 'watched' him for the duration. "Bleedin' ugly innee? Looks like he's just been fisted by Edward Scissor'ands".
I got a great view of Philo's first, banged very hard into the corner past the despairing Cooper. The rest were all at my usual end so the view was a bit less and, once again, I sort of regretted the move. Tel was in hug mode by 3-0. He smelt strongly of a mix of Spanish lager and Yves St Laurent cologne. His stubble rubbed a sore spot on my nose. Still, 5-0. And we got to see Nunez and Tel raved about Furlong and Azon.
The beers in the local afterwards went down like silk. Mrs Tel was arriving at 11pm after an evening spent watching a screening of the new Downton Abbey movie with Sandy in Freeport. Tel regards Downton Abbey like Crossroads and never watched an entire episode once, even when forced. He always managed to find something more interesting. As a result, he takes the pee out of it. He calls it "Upstairs Downton" and wonders aloud during screenings where Mr Hudson is and why Lady Mary manages to score so many lovers when she's got "Tits like two fried eggs on an ironing board".
Still, Mrs Tel was good enough to offer me a lift home and take his nibs back to Halstead at 11.20pm on a Friday so she's more than entitled to her pleasures. Safely back indoors, that Friday night tang of Chinese food and a lot of beer still rolling in my mouth, I fetched the brandy bottle and a glass. On went the computer and into Youtube looking for the highlights. I never knew George Hirst put it cheekily between Cooper's legs for the third. After the previous no-shows of the last couple of home games, this was like accidentally finding porn whilst looking for a David Attenborough wildlife programme.
The weekend tasted all the better for it. And now I'm off for a few days, having a mini-break in an AirB'n'B in Castleton, ready for a few walks amongst the High Peaks. Packed and leaving at twelve as my accommodation isn't ready until four and it's apparently wet up there. See you for the Blackburn reaction next Sunday! |  |
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| The Warky Championship Report 2025/26: Scumfield United (H) on 10:44 - Sep 15 with 297 views | Steve_M |
Yes, 1997. That hurt like hell at the time, the first leg was magnificent (5,000 town fans, a lot of us soaked from the rain, 1-0 down and never stopped singing, didn't quite know how to raise the level when Stockwell equalised) and I was sure we would be going to Wembley. Couldn't make it back for the second leg as had the last exam of my second year at uni on the same day - I've rarely felt so flat as I did the day after.
I realised I was definitely over it when we went to Bramall Lane at the end of the 18-19 season, the buzz around the place was impressive and I really didn't begrudge them going up to the Premier League. The idea that we might do the same within five years would have astounded me at that point, or indeed any before maybe January 2022.
Still, always good to beat Sheffield United at Portman Road. One better than Royle's team did on a midweek night in 04-05, that was only 5-1. |  |
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