Anyway, I decided to exploit it for my own amusement. One night I sneaked down into the kitchen of the hotel and found a huge salmon head. It was still fresh and rather creepy. The salmon had one of those eyes that seemed to follow you around the room. Even I was a little freaked out by it, and I love fish.

I placed the salmon head in a clear plastic bag and went back up to our room. Peter was lying on the bed.

"For you," I said cheerfully, tossing the fish head on the bed. Peter must have jumped three feet into the air. I've never seen him move so fast. He ran to the other side of the room and started yelling. I couldn't quite make out what he was saying, but it was clearly to do with the fish.

He was staring at the salmon's head in absolute terror, like it was some monster, on its way to gobbling him up.

Naturally, I played dumb.

"What? You want fish?" I said, picking up the salmon head and taking a few steps towards him.

"No! No!" he yelled. He was truly frightened. At first, I thought he was joking around with me, pretending to be scared, but pretty soon I realised he was completely terrified. So I chased him around the room with the fish. He was going mental, running into furniture, knocking down lamps, trying to get away from me. I was running after him, laughing my head off.