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Ipswich Town Reserves 2-1 Arsenal Reserves Tue 13th Nov 2001 23:27
by your Official Reporter, ColdGit@Reserves.
I have promised to be more direct. Here goes:

Darren Bent is an absolute gem. I've been saying all season that he should be in the first team and a really gamey brace tonight, leaving the winning goal till the 90th minute, will surely have clinched that exciting, fully justified reality.

A promising young Arsenal team had led, at the interval, via their dainty young centre-forward, Jermaine Brown, begloved and with corn-row hair (is that what you call it?) who took advantage of the temporary absence upfield of attack-minded Thomas Gaardsoe, to beat man-in-black Andy Marshall with a breakaway goal after 35 mins.

As crowd favourite Darren would have said afterwards, had I been able to speak to him, "I should have had at least a hat-trick, Old Git, with two half-chances just before the half hour mark, the second of which I tapped into the goalie's ample bosom - was it Richard Wright? And then, five minutes into the second half, Brian, I gently, deftly, accurately, oh no, tickled one over the bar. So far, this season, I should have scored an Axeldahl of reserve match goals."

It took an hour for Bent to strike, but it was worth waiting for. In the area, he was moving left, but flicked the ball inside his man, then curled it round the goalie and inside the right post. You beauty. 1-1.

At the death, his second goal was another peachy plum, partly because of the pin-point quality of excellent Darren Ambrose's cross from the right; all Bent had to do was control it and tuck it away, again inside the right post. He looks like Finidi George, but it's time for Finidi to take his hat off to Darren; both Darrens, for that matter: Ambrose is of the same school: eager, direct, a winner. 2-1.

Don't let's get too warmed up, though; it wasn't that sort of night for all of us. The Darrens were beacons in the mist. Urgent Yoof Ambrose replaced anonymous Nicholls after an hour, allowing begloved Nabil Abbadabba to come in from the cold on the wing into central midfield, where he continued to show delightful touch but ineffective overall impact.

Yet, in an uncertain, bump-into-things world, it was re-assuring to lie back and accept the freezing embrace - an average FPR temperature tonight of 7 degrees Celsius, whatever celcius is, but, as your Official Reporter, I have to accept that I have a worldwide audience and mustn't mention good old Fahrenheit. Mother said it was cold in Sydney today but I promise you that a couple of hours at damp Portman Road tonight would have reminded her why she emigrated 36 years ago, (and, with a worldwide audience, it is nice for them that I should make an international reference)...and yet I still cannot say, 'in Sydney' without pangs of Carry On double entendre...whoops, digressionamundo...the freezing embrace of a November evening at the Reserves, with the bizarre guarantee of safety created by a report on the BBC saying that Osama Bin Laden is an Arsenal fan. We're watching Arsenal Reserves (though this is only the official title of this team. The term has come to mean, in general conversation, something quite different: 'the team you put out against teams like Ipswich or Worthington Cup opponents.' I doubt that any of Arsenal's team tonight will ever play in the Premiership for them. Surreal. Their Yoof winger, Jerome Thomas - all their Yoof's forward line has 'J' first names - was their gem. Fabian found him to be 'unstoppable'. Umm, that doesn't make Thomas unique, though, does it? Come on Fab, shave that carpet sample off the top of your head, and play a bit. You're only up against Chris Makin.)

I'm not really digressing. It was a match without passion, without much meaning. Without Bent actually winning the match, it would have been very ho-hum, but he was this week's 'Mumo' Peralta, who was the emerging star of my last Reserves Report, and who, so soon after, is October's Third Best Player Of The Month.

In the absence of Mumo, Tommy Miller was given the opportunity to audition for Jim Magilton's shirt, but he took an early knock and that perhaps stunted his growth. Miller was derisory about Sir George's audacity, in playing 'the best midfielder in the Nationwide' on the wing; it's because Our Tom shares Our Jim's fear of wide open spaces. He feels that that circle around the centre of the pitch is there for a reason, and, tonight, he never left it. In fairness, he can sweep the ball about, though it's a little laboured, as are all his movements, as if he's a middleweight boxer with heavy legs (like Reuser, who we're coming to.)

Our team was:
Marshall
Wilnis — Gaardsoe - Justin Miller (c) - 'Gary'
Abbadabba - Tommy Miller - Ashley Nicholls - REUSER!!!!!!
Bent - 'Log' Logan

Helsingborgs IF 1-3 Town Thu 01st Nov 2001 23:07
An evening which showed the best and worst of Town finally ended with a well-deserved and triumphant 3-1 victory for the Blues. Hermann Hreidarsson's second goal in two games and two from Marcus Stewart won a game for Town after the worst of possible starts.

Town 2-3 West Ham Sun 28th Oct 2001 17:35
Town failed to get any points from the last of four games which were seen as crucial to the Blues' season. The matches against Everton, Fulham, Southampton and West Ham were games where Town should have added to their paltry points total, unfortunately three draws and a loss have hardly helped matters.

Fulham 1-1 Town Sun 21st Oct 2001 16:33
A much-changed Town side failed to break down a Fulham side which was down to 10 men for most of the game. Luis Boa Morte saw red just before half-time for a dive, although in truth he should have gone earlier for an elbow on Fabian Wilnis. Town had gone behind to a Barry Hayles goal with the equaliser from Jermaine Wright coming in the second half.

Town 0-0 Helsingborgs IF Thu 18th Oct 2001 23:40
Once again Town had Matteo Sereni to thank as the Italian's goalkeeping brilliance prevented a comfortable away victory for Helsingborg. On a night when fans had hoped and expected so much Town put on their worst home display yet in a so far largely dismal season.

Town 0-0 Everton Sat 13th Oct 2001 17:57
There was more frustration for Town fans against Everton at Portman Road as the Blues dropped two more home points. In truth it could have been even worse with Kevin Campbell missing a number of chances and despite the usual large amounts of possession Town failed to create too much clearcut themselves.

Burley Not in Scotland Running Mon 08th Oct 2001 09:33
Town boss George Burley has ruled out any chance of him becoming manager of Scotland. Craig Brown resigned at the weekend as his side failed to make the World Cup finals in Japan and South Korea.

Town 1-2 Leeds Sun 30th Sep 2001 19:03
George Burley was disappointed that his side got nothing out of this afternoon's game with Leeds after leading for most of the match. Town had chances to go even further ahead after Marcus Stewart had scored a first. Leeds hit back through Robbie Keane and, for the second year running in this fixture, a Mark Venus own goal gave Leeds the points.

Torpedo Moscow Preview Thu 27th Sep 2001 01:59
The Town players and staff enjoyed some sightseeing yesterday prior to tonight's match against Torpedo Moscow. Red Square and the Kremlin were visited, but maybe more importantly they later sat down to watch a video of the first leg.

Man Utd 4-0 Town Sat 22nd Sep 2001 18:12
The eventual scoreline of 4-0 was a touch flattering to Manchester United, although Town can have little argument with the result. The match was much like last season’s game at Old Trafford with United dominant in the first half, but with a second period more even, although Town rarely threatened.

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