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I heard an amazing fact yesterday - and thinking about it, it must be true
at 17:16 13 Dec 2019

If you take Blair out of the equation (who was arguably a Tory) Labour haven't won a general election in 50 years.

If Scotland ever leave the UK there is not even a long term opposition.
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What the hell is it about Brighton?
at 04:28 13 Dec 2019

Anyway, I love these election nights and talking to everyone but I'm a bit pissed now and I've got to drive up north in an hour so I'm going for a power nap.

I bid you good evening.
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That Labour bloke from Stoke is talking a lot of sense
at 00:23 13 Dec 2019

Nice to hear someone giving an honest account of things.
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If you think the potential landslide is down to Brexit
at 22:30 12 Dec 2019

then you would have to concede that any 2nd referendum right now would result in a bigger leave vote - and I don't think it would

The problem is Corbyn and his buddies.
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Hells teeth!
at 22:02 12 Dec 2019

Kerroist
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Do I dob a thief in so close to Christmas?
at 17:15 12 Dec 2019

I have CCTV footage of a courier nicking one of our cartons on a delivery.

Mmmmm

There's really only one answer isn't there?
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Another reason why Corbyn can't be trusted.
at 23:32 11 Dec 2019

Poor old Ed Miliband despite being Jewish happily attempted to eat a bacon sandwich despite it being against his religion and making a right old hash of it.

Jeremy Corbyn on the other hand pretends to be a vegetarian but is often spotted at The Islington Pork Lovers Association quaffing his bodyweight in pig food products.

I rest my case.
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Genuine question to vegans
at 07:59 9 Dec 2019

I was frying up a leftover kebab last night and the smell was so alluring that I began to salivate and this got me thinking.

Does the same thing happen to you when you mow the grass?
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Oi Gainsborough
at 22:26 5 Dec 2019

I keep meaning to mention but keep forgetting - I didn't get where I am today by keep meaning to mention but keep forgetting

Anyhoo, I just watched a re run of The Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin. Great - Super stuff.

Even young Audrey Roberts still has it!
[Post edited 5 Dec 22:27]
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Anyone want to see a bit of ingrowing toenail - self operation action?
at 19:53 5 Dec 2019

I took a couple of photos during the process.
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Corbyn this, Corbyn that, Brexit measles and lying politicians. Fear you not!
at 18:46 5 Dec 2019

I don't buy scratch cards but whilst paying for my Crunchie 4 pack just now at the CO-OP my eyes were alerted to the fact that scratch cards now carry a prize up to £1m. I decided that I won't buy one because I never do but then also decided that one of the two £1m varieties is sure to be a winner so hold on..........here we go, as soon as I can work out how to play them, it's more complicated than just getting three bells, I'm not sure how their target market works it all out, maybe they don't. Ingenious!

Stand by
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Coventry away - Burger advice
at 17:38 5 Dec 2019

If you want probably the tastiest burger that you've ever had in your life then try The Original Patty Men which is handily placed on the St Andrews side of town.

Check out their opening hours though as they can be a bit weird.

Taste sensation by the way.
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I have solved Brexit
at 21:10 29 Nov 2019

We will disband The EU and invite everyone in the world to join The United Kingdom - providing they meet the criteria.

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London dance clubs - help required
at 14:58 4 Oct 2019

I have a friend over from Holland and she wants to know the best dance clubs in London - this is not my area of expertise.

Can anyone help please?
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Jim the TWTD BBQ bloke.
at 12:00 23 May 2019

I bumped into him yesterday in Amsterdam.

He is a nice man

Today he won’t be up to much.
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Does anyone know where I can see a clip of Pat Godbolds speech?
at 10:49 15 May 2019

N to the T
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I must say I'm loving Tyrone's hair
at 21:27 14 May 2019

He really looks quite the dish.
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One thing that really confuses me about The Change Party is the name
at 09:44 14 May 2019

as they don't want to change anything.. I wonder what brain box came up with it?
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Strangest thing happened today
at 16:23 13 May 2019

You might not find it funny and I don't really know why I'm posting it but I think I'm going mad.

I was driving home earlier (back from the doctors funnily enough) and I had a craving for some liver for dinner. I was going down Woodbridge Rd so I pulled up outside Micklesons the butchers. On entering they asked what I wanted and I rubbed my hands and said that I really fancied some liver so they weighed it all out and off I went.

Anyhoo - I just went to get it out of the fridge and it wasn't there, I searched high and low but to no avail so I phoned Micklesons and asked if I had left my liver. They advised me that I dropped it outside but he wasn't making much sense so I repeated "Have you got my liver". "Yes" he said so I got my car keys and just as I was about to go out the door the Mrs yelled that she found my liver, it was behind a box of cokes.

So I phoned Micklesons back and some bod answered the phone and I said "Did I just speak with you about my liver"? "No" he said but I'll pass you over and I heard him say "It's that bloke again about his liver". I explained that I had found said liver so it turns out some other poor bügger dropped his and will be disappointed tonight.

Madness I tell ya.
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The miracle of Anfield
at 16:16 11 May 2019

Can even make wheelchair supporters walk again.

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Lord_Lucan


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