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Blue Passports
at 11:18 23 Mar 2019

There's a solution for anybody concerned they won't be able to get their blue passport due to the current Brexit debacle. The Daily Express is offering free imitation holders in protest:

Question for Mr. Bloom and others - If you all take them up on their offer, will it appease you enough for us to stop the whole leaving thing and everybody wins?
We’ve reached the ‘Uri Geller telepathically stops Theresa May’ stage
at 17:57 22 Mar 2019

...of Brexit

Wish he would lay off the boy Corb.
[Post edited 22 Mar 17:59]
Prophecy of Zed
at 09:12 22 Mar 2019

Option 1:

May's deal isn't brought back. People (including the press for some reason) seem to be pretending the Bercow thing didn't happen.

12th April approaches. HoC start arguing about EU elections and a further extension, but the house fails in attempting to bring the length of the potential further extension request out of May's hands and in parliament's control.

Revocation gains traction. W/C 8th April becomes a stare down between no deal or revocation due to May's refusal to face reality with the longer extension (making it too conditional or centring it around her deal). The 450 MPs who voted to remain do away with their 'respect the result of the referendum' when faced with the question of revoke or no deal. The petition by this point has reached many millions and has given those 450 MPs the confidence to go with it.

HoC votes to revoke Article 50. A night of celebration and bitterness. Deranged gloating and complaining by people on both sides. May resigns after unmitigated failure at every promise she made. General Election.


Option 2:

May's deal is brought back. Either via a meaningful (lol) tweak to the WA or through some kind of parliamentary decision to go against the convention Bercow set out. Deal is either voted down or amended to include a people's vote.

If voted down, see second paragraph of Option 1.

If amended to include people's vote, the nation choose to remain over May's deal. The same deranged gloating and complaining follows.

Disclaimer: Two weeks ago, I would not have expected or even wanted Brexit to be abruptly cancelled in a way which opened a can of worms. The course that May has taken and the absolute state of her speech has resulted in a change in the wind. The can of worms is now a justifiable consequence - A can that both a majority of the public and HoC are prepared to open (in my opinion).
A real tweet from a real MP
at 22:56 20 Mar 2019

Send help
at 17:25 20 Mar 2019

Zed has absorbed too much Brexit.

I’m sitting on my sofa rocking backwards and forwards. My left eye is twitching.
at 07:00 20 Mar 2019

Absolute nonsense. This is simply a result of the likes of Leadsom and Fox threatening to resign at cabinet yesterday if she requested a long extension. May is a morally reprehensible disaster who’s only purpose is to save face within her party.

This is not a plan.
Dream Cabinet
at 21:54 19 Mar 2019

Chancellor of the Exchequer:
Robin Hood

Home Secretary:

Secretary of State for Foreign Affairs:

Secretary of State for Exiting the European Union:
James O'Brien

Secretary of State for Defence:
Tony Mowbray

Secretary of State for Justice:
Nelson Mandela

Secretary of State for Health:
Jet from Gladiators

Secretary of State for Housing:
Jaque Fresco

Secretary of State for International Trade:

Secretary of State for Work and Pensions:
Charlie Dimmock

Secretary of State for Transport:
Denzel from Only Fools and Horses

Secretary of State for Education:
Noam Chomsky

Secretary of State for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs:
Greta Thunberg

Secretary of State for Business:
Levi Roots

Secretary of State for Digital, Culture, Media and Sport:
Phil Ham

Secretary of State for Scotland:
Pauline Cafferkey

Secretary of State for Wales:
Howard Marks

Secretary of State for Northern Ireland:
Jim Magilton

All led by me, Zed. A broad church to reunite the nation. I trust I can count on your vote.
No MV3
at 15:39 18 Mar 2019

Bercow says no.

He's making a statement now in his typical long-winded fashion. Government benches didn't seem to know he was going to do this and are in disbelief.

Remarkable stuff.

EDIT: Essentially he's said he won't allow them to bring back the same deal back for another vote. Something would need to change.

Meaningful Edit 2: Bercow clarifies to JRM that it could be brought back in a new parliamentary session. Make of that what you will.
[Post edited 18 Mar 15:52]
I’ve watched this about 30 times
at 13:09 18 Mar 2019

Quite mesmerising.
Nazi Brexit aggro from Mr Bean’s brother
at 21:07 17 Mar 2019

What a time to be alive.
Naughty looking mob
at 08:32 17 Mar 2019

These fellas have some nerve
at 15:09 14 Mar 2019

I don't recall them offering Mr. Corbyn the same patience and tolerance back when it was even clearer it would be rejected HoC.
No Deal
at 10:52 14 Mar 2019

We have a government and a Prime Minister who last night after all the talk about national interest, shamelessly voted for us to leave without a deal.

A government and a Prime Minister that put forward a motion to reject no deal, but keep it on the table at the same time. An opposition amendment (BuT We hAvE nO oPpOsItiOn ZeD) forces it into becoming an exclusive rejection of no deal at any point, only for the government to whip against it's own motion and attempt to force no deal.

Our government and Prime Minister whipped against their own motion in order to defeat both their deal and their own motion, and were still defeated. I'm not sure which metaphor is more fitting for the disaster this has turned into - May losing her voice and croaking out the same delusional fantasies, or the government defeating themselves as they attempt to let go of the hand grenade they've been holding.

If you think things are bad now, imagine what chaos with Ed Miliband would have looked like.

Resignations incoming...
at 19:28 13 Mar 2019

Nae Pasaran
at 10:47 2 Mar 2019

On iPlayer. Zed recommends.

About some Scottish bods who worked at the Rolls Royce factory in East Kilbride in the 70s and refused to work on Chilean military engines following the coup.

A Chilean man comes to Scotland to talk to them about the impact it had, something they probably underestimated. He then goes back to Chile to speak to some former members of Pinochet’s army and air force to fill in some of the blanks for them. Very interesting and generally just a nice story.

Had been waiting for it to come on iPlayer for a while.
Dear Zed
at 16:02 28 Feb 2019

I wrote you but you still ain't callin'
I left my cell, my pager and my home phone at the bottom
Forest display
at 09:33 26 Feb 2019

Looked quite good. Was offered a spare ticket but chose Partridge. Really dislike Derby so should have watched Partridge on iPlayer in hindsight.

Left to right:

Eric Irons (Britain's first black magistrate / RAF pilot) "In Nottingham they will help you make the grade"

Helen Watts (suffragette) "If we don't fight for it, no-one else will"

Alan Silittoe (writer) "You should think about nobody and go your own way"

Mr Hood

D H Lawrence "What I am. I am. And let that be enough."

Brian Clough "I want no epitaphs of profound history and all that type of thing"

The Luddites "I'll sing the achievements of Generel Ludd"
EU trying to teach us how to play pool
at 22:04 24 Feb 2019

Share if you think this is an outrage
No meaningful vote next week then
at 13:14 24 Feb 2019

No rush lads. Take your time.
Oi Zed
at 12:21 20 Feb 2019

Sort it out will yer. Your banter'z dry m8 lolz lmao.

Daft momentum plant puppet lefty. DO ONE.
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