The Power Of Bergerism Written by prickettboy3 on Wednesday, 28th Aug 2013 20:21 This week I have read that a number of words have somehow entered the Oxford Dictionary of English. Slang words such as "twerkingâ€, which despite claiming to be relatively well educated I have absolutely no idea what it means. In the interest of remaining topical, I would therefore like to introduce my readers to another new word. Bergerism. Anybody reading this who isn't a brother of mine or a best friend will not be familiar with this word and it will sound like utter jibberish, so I would first like to define a Bergerism for you all. Bergerism: To criticise or praise a player's ability only for them to prove you wrong and do exactly the opposite during the game you are watching. This term was created several years ago when after a successful European Championships campaign, Liverpool signed a player named Patrik Berger. One Sunday afternoon whilst watching a Liverpool match, I remember Patrick Berger lashing in a beautiful 25-yarder. Moments earlier however, my brother Dan, a Liverpool supporter, had loudly berated Berger stating that he never scores wonder goals. Thus, upon doing so, the term Bergerism had been created, and is still used amongst our small crowd of friends to this very day. So why am I sharing this rather pointless but fun word with you all now? I hear you asking. Well my friends, because sadly I fear I was responsible for a number of Bergerisms taking place during our match against Leeds United last Saturday, and many of them didn’t fall in our favour so the guilt is eating me up inside. Let me explain. Taking my young lad to his very first Ipswich match on Saturday, we sat in the car on the way and my boy asked me what I thought of Scott Loach. Like myself as a small boy, my son favours the goalkeeping position. For him it’s most likely because he’s disabled and so the goalkeeper position is the only one he can play in. I’ve tried fielding him as a pacey winger but his inability to walk, let alone run, means he’s not as effective as I’d like him to be out wide. For me, I was simply a crap outfield player and so opted to play in goal and often pretended I was Craig Forrest. I wore a rather garish ITFC goalkeeping top, with Fisons emblazoned across the front and complete with elbow pads. Good times. Anyway, upon being asked for my opinion of Loach I commented that he didn’t command his area enough for me but was in my opinion “the best shot stopper in the leagueâ€. Well we all know what happened; Loachy let what should have been an easy shot to gather go underneath his body and into the net. There it was, the biggest Bergerism of the day. Unfortunately though there were others. I had claimed Tommy Smith to be solid – he subsequently gave the ball away in midfield leading to the second Leeds goal. Bergerism. I had said that David McGoldrick wasn't a 20-goal-a-season man and he promptly turned the Leeds defender inside out before unleashing a brilliant 20-yarder into the bottom corner. Bergerism. I foolishly told the bloke sitting to my left that I didn't think the Leeds strikers would cause us too many problems. They both scored. Double Bergerism. You should be starting to see the pattern emerging. There were Bergerisms happening all over the pitch on Saturday and I fear they were my entire fault so for the dropped points I can only apologise. I am hopeful however that collectively we can now all use this term in our favour to start collecting points. I won’t be travelling to Birmingham on Saturday as I will be sunning myself poolside in Greece. I shall have my Twitter feed constantly refreshing of course to keep an eye on proceedings and I can already feel the look of disapproval from my missus as I should be enjoying “family holiday timeâ€. I will be of course, just not with the family she means. For those two hours I will be engaged with my football family. To those of you travelling I have a request: please try and create a few Bergerisms to ensure we bring back all three points. Loudly claim that Carlos Edwards is past it so he lashes in something unstoppable, or tell your mate we never score from a freekick so someone, anyone, bends one in to the top corner. Be careful though, as already demonstrated the Bergerism term can backfire if used recklessly so don’t go slagging off any Brum players pre-match. Give Bergerisms a go, we’ve got nothing to lose and if it catches on and everyone does it we might just win the league. COYB! Please report offensive, libellous or inappropriate posts by using the links provided.
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