| Continuing the comedy theme - here's twelve great one-liners 18:39 - Dec 13 with 931 views | factual_blue |
Here are twelve classic one-liners from some masters of the craft. Are they the best ever told?
Tim Vine — “Conjunctivitis.com — that’s a site for sore eyes”
Joan Rivers — “All my mother told me about sex was that the man goes on top and the woman on the bottom. For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds.”
Woody Allen — “Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go it’s pretty damn good.”
Ken Dodd — “I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.”
Bob Monkhouse — “I want to die like my father, peacefully in his sleep, not screaming and terrified, like his passengers.”
Jo Brand — "The way to a man's heart is through his hanky pocket with a breadknife."
Milton Jones — “I was mugged by a man on crutches, wearing camouflage. Ha ha, I thought, you can hide but you can’t run.”
Ross Noble — “How come Miss Universe is only ever won by people from Earth?”
Jimmy Carr — “A lady with a clipboard stopped me in the street the other day. She said, ‘Can you spare a few minutes for cancer research?’ I said, ‘Alright, but we won’t get much done.”
Sarah Millican — "I saw a pair of knickers today — on the front it said, 'I would do anything for love' and on the back it said 'but I won't do that.'"
Tommy Cooper — "Police arrested two kids yesterday. One was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off."
Jack Whitehall — “I'm sure wherever my father is, he's looking down on us. He's not dead, just very condescending."
http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/articles/197QFNnHtPZt8Ht70GDkr4D/are-these-the-g |  |
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| Continuing the comedy theme - here's twelve great one-liners on 18:45 - Dec 13 with 896 views | Basuco |
A bloke in my village is stealing gates but the police are not doing anything about it in case he takes a fence. |  | | |
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