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Get Chico and Dolly back
at 12:44 27 Jul 2020

Chico has surely realised now that Germany is all well and good, but we must all suffer this crap football team together.

I want to talk about the parallels of a Premiership footballers career, measured against membership of a Cub Scouts football team, with Dolly.

Both need to return forthwith.
Good music books
at 16:08 7 Jun 2020

I have almost finished The KLF - Chaos, Magic And The Band Who Burnt A Million Pounds. It is mad, and brilliant. Obviously I recommend it.

I have ordered The Hacienda - How Not To Run A Club, which I have heard very good things about.

Could TWTD please give me some further suggestions? I already have the Blue Christmas Almanac from 2001, so don't worry about that.
CGS/ Default User- Jerk review
at 12:53 3 Mar 2020

Callum I've just been to that Jerk Pit place in Barking you were on about, and it is pretty, pretty good.

Hit 'The Beast' up which is a lot of food. Chicken has a good heat, rice and peas very tasty, hot sauce had a decent kick.


Random and pointless things which please you greatly
at 21:12 26 Feb 2020

- Succession. Perhaps the best TV I've ever watched.
- The Smoky Jerky shack on Old Kent Rd.
- Stewarts 2nd goal against Bolton.

That's about it.
at 21:53 11 Feb 2020

Lambert should go right now; total lemon of a charlatan. Honestly *genuinely* never thought we'd do worse then Hurst, but this team continue to burrow where no blind mole has ever burrowed before.

Fck this football club.

EDIT - oh, and every single player is sh1te. Every single one. As is Evans, but we all knew that. And the bloke who drives the coach.
[Post edited 11 Feb 21:54]
Pub Quizzes
at 21:26 21 Jan 2020

The Cherry Tree in Woodbridge ran (indeed, still may run; I havent checked in all that recently) a very good pub quiz on a Thursday night. 40 questions, and you'd need a score in the low 30s as a minimum to win in any given week.

I'm pretty sure our man Melford has some pedigree with pub quiz skillz; didn't he win some local tournament or something?

Anyway, turns out that the pub quiz run is a thing. There is a lot called Tripartite who used to go around all the weekly quizzes in IP4 - three ex-teachers, all mad competitive, all dicks. They won everything. They were my nemeses.

In any case, I require good local pub quizzes. Any recommendations gratefully received.
at 17:02 4 Jan 2020

Perhaps the players can have another good, long, honest chat, like after Pompey.

Perhaps they can all lock themselves in a Sackers skip for an hour, like after Lincoln.

Perhaps, as a squad, they can 'pay the fans back' (I paraphrase) by progressing in the Stan Watson's Oily Rags trophy, so we can go to Wembley, like they did this afternoon.

Or perhaps I should just go full Lucan/ RKD, and run on the pitch against Accrington, so that I can get banned for a few years, and stop tormenting myself with this hairy bollo(k of a football club for the foreseeable.
Hmmm, that was dog tod....
at 22:26 10 Dec 2019

.... Huws, Judge, Edwards all terrible. Proper terrible. Huws and Judge should be playing much, much better than they are; questions can (and should) be asked about them both. Edwards is just sh1te.

Holy cannot kick, but made a very good save from one of the (many) chances Cov had in the first half.

Norwood doesn't win as much as he should in the air, and Jackson did very little.

Looked a little better when Garbutt came on, but, Jesus, that was woeful. Woolfenden was OK, and Nsiala wasn't notably worse than every other player on the pitch, which is a first, and, indeed, a positive, I suppose.

How much did Lambert put behind the bar for the Donny game - £500? Put another 0 on that for the Brizzle Rovers game....

Downes is the only midfielder we have playing with any kind of consistency; bearing in mind the total and actual p1sstake of riches we have in midfield at this level; I'd suggest that questions are very much justified in being asked of Lambert as to why he can't settle on any kind of consistent team.

It's the Cup (so who gives a fck); we're 2nd in the league (hurrah); but all is not quite right here.

EDIT - I acknowledge that the lack of consistency in midfield could be used as justification for squad rotation. It's late (Sort of)
[Post edited 10 Dec 2019 22:30]
Good performance....
at 20:15 26 Oct 2019

... enjoyed that.

Was watching with the home fans (right-hand stand as seen from the away end).

Norwood is a nuisance, and we've missed him. Downes was excellent, and Nolan coming on for Skuse was a blessing in disguise - he looked good.

Edwards wasn't very good, and I think Garbutt would rather be playing further up the pitch.

Norris looked composed; made a couple of fine saves. Still a bit concerned about how easily our wingbacks get done - Accrington, Rotherham and Sarfend have all had varying degrees of joy to this end.

Agree with comments elsewhere that their 36 was their best player, although the Southend around me didn't seem to like him at all.

Our fans were loud, especially down in the corner next to the Sarfend drum machine,

Special mention to the Old Trout pub - quality boozer that was stumbled upon by accident.

Sir Ben Stokes. (n/t)
at 16:24 25 Aug 2019

World Champions (n/t)
at 19:42 14 Jul 2019

at 20:01 9 Jul 2019

Any of you fools seen this? It is bloody brilliant.

I suppose the closest parallel to be drawn would be with The Wire - basically a crime epic set in Napoli, looking at the drug cartels and families.

Ah, RKD, don't do it...
at 19:28 12 Mar 2019

.... as a self-proclaimed tart who left and, er, came back again, this is a low-quality idea.

I wanna talk Trailer Park Boys and pitch invasions on lesser-known East Anglian football pitches with you.

Come home, my sweet prince. Come home.
Hugo Lloris
at 20:37 5 Mar 2019

Having a reasonably good game.

Dortmund should be level in this tie.
Mental, mental game of cricket....
at 21:49 27 Feb 2019

.... 800 runs in just under 100 overs. Buttler and Gayle going mad. And finishing with 4 wickets in 5 balls.

Pretty, pretty good.
Funge's Dinners vs Tripadvisor
at 17:42 13 Jan 2019

Agree wholeheartedly about Takayama and the Biryani Hut, not so sure about Maharani.

ChutneyZ was absolute gronk when I went there; maybe I got them on a bad night.

Ottoman does the best Turkish outside of North London.
Iain Lee...
at 20:55 20 Dec 2018

... I thought this was pretty beautiful.
How to turn Portman Rd into a fortress...
at 21:39 13 Dec 2018

... have been discussing with RKD and the answer is obvious.

Give everyone in the NSL one of these.

It would traumatise most players.
Funge's dinners - parts 7 and 8, probably, in an ongoing series.
at 20:39 31 Oct 2018

Dinner 7 - Saturday afternoon, with another well associated TWTD peer - that Vegan burger shack (TFI Vegan?) on Falcon St, where the council have put the market, while they erect that giant brass statue of Chris Mole on the Cornhill.

Anyway, I had some 'Hallaoumi' burger thing, which was well tasty, although one could notice the lack of any real Halloumi. These guys do not fck about with their seasoning, and that's really what makes this a decent meal. They slid me some Popcorn Chickin afterwards - they said I wouldn't be able to tell the difference with real chicken, which obviously wasn't the case - but hells bells, the glaze was fully, fully decent.

In summary, not as good as the Biryani Hut (the yardstick by which all Ipswich foodstalls are measured), but still very good.

Dinner 8- Pronto Pizza, on Fuluxstoo Rd.

As mentioned by man Lucan, the key here is value. An extra large pizza (20 inches) is £10.59, and if you can get anywhere close to eating even half of it, you've got worms.

The pizza itself is not bad - good thin base, fresh ingredients, altho a little bit too oily. The crust dips are underwhelming, so either make your own or throw the crusts in the garden. Would eat again, but only if all the Bella Napoli's were closed.

[Post edited 31 Oct 2018 20:40]
So, farewell Paul Hurst and Chris Doig...
at 18:13 25 Oct 2018

... it was fun, for the 15 minutes until Norwich equalised.

I can't immediately think of another manager who has come in and been so clearly, obviously, dreadfully out of his depth. Dave Hockaday at Leeds, maybe?

I heard a story today about how Doig accused Bart of stealing his international cap. Bearing in mind how much Bart has spoken about his pride in playing for Poland, one can imagine how that was received.

What next? It's gonna be ugly; the one saving grace is that we still have a chance of staying up. With this squad of dipsh1ts though, who knows?
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