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They get worse and worse!
at 21:14 25 Nov 2014

I'd rather let Phil Neville loose on my audiobook collection than relive Scholes plugging away at that HT analysis. You'd be forgiven for thinking he was there against his own will.
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No subject
at 19:55 19 Nov 2014

[Post edited 19 Nov 2014 20:00]
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OXLAAAAADE (n/t)
at 21:09 18 Nov 2014

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Favourite recent(ish) TV comedy series?
at 21:15 16 Nov 2014

Just finished season 1 of my unhealthy but consensual relationship with Brooklyn Nine-Nine and wondered what TWTDers' favourite comedy shows are of recent times (i.e. no Big Bang or Father Ted allowed)?
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Phil McFaulty!
at 17:22 16 Nov 2014

Ho ho ho. Now no reporter basher am I but did anyone else read Phil's comments on England this weekend?

1) Sterling and Wayne received a 7, Wilshire a 6.

2) Wilshire should play further forward, Welbeck should keep his place as CF, Rooney is captain 'undroppable', and both Sterling and Barkley should be accommodated, with Ross operating in the No. 10 role.

Would make for more interesting viewing than yesterday I guess! (in a Paul Jewell 'Ipswich 2 Southampton 5' way that is)
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Graham to Wolves
at 15:10 14 Nov 2014

That's a shame!
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Last Minute Woes and the Alternative League Table
at 13:20 5 Nov 2014

A month to the day since the City Ground surrender and it's a fair observation that the laments continue to rumble on. Yet how justified are we to feel as aggrieved as we do? Sidestepping the reality that the 89th minute is a no less respectable time to score than the 4th or the 56th, is it not safe to assume that we're far from the only team to suffer from last-gasp heartbreaks, lapses in concentration and turtle tactics? It all balances itself out in the after a third of the season, right?

Well speculate no more, for the scores on the doors are in and they do make for rather rueful reading, even if some TWTDers are nonetheless looking more woebegone than they ought to. Selecting the cut-off point was a point of personal contention, with anything conceded after 80 often feeling like an unjust kick in the gonads, with anything scored by us before the 90 conversely feeling like an unremarkable detail. The beautiful game played out over 85 inflexible minutes is the compromise and the methodology, therefore, albeit an arbitrary one. I can't say I've bothered past 15th place; I can't say I noticed any team falling overly foul to 84th minute equalisers:

.... Full-Time League Table .................................. Blowing on 85 .................. Points-Change ....

1. ... Bournemouth ......... 30 ..........//.......... 1. ... Bournemouth ......... 32 ................ +2
2. ... Middlesbrough ....... 30 ..........//.......... 2. ... Middlesbrough ....... 31 ................ +1
3. ... Watford .................. 29 ..........//.......... 3. ... Watford ................. 30 ................. +1
4. ... Derby ...................... 29 .........//........... 4. ... Derby ..................... 30 ................. +1
5. ... Ipswich ................... 27 .........//........... 5. ... Ipswich ................... 30 ................. +3
6. ... Wolves ................... 27 .........//........... 6. ... Blackburn ............... 28 ................. +2
7. ... Norwich ................. 26 .........//........... 7. ... Wolves ................... 27 .................. 0
8. ... Blackburn .............. 26 .........//........... 8. ... Norwich .................. 25 .................. -1
9. ... Charlton ................ 24 .........//........... 9. ... Charlton .................. 24 .................. 0
10. . Forest* ................. 22 ..........//.......... 10. .. Cardiff ..................... 23 ................. +1
11. . Cardiff .................. 22 ..........//.......... 11. .. Reading ................... 22 ................. +1
12. . Brentford* ........... 22 .........//........... 12. .. Wednesday ............. 22 ................. +2
13. . Reading ................ 21 .........//........... 13. .. Huddersfield ........... 22 ................. +2
14. . Wednesday .......... 20 .........//........... 14. .. Forest* ................... 21 ................. -1
15. . Huddersfield ........ 20 .........//........... 15. .. Brentford* ............. 19 .................. -3

* still to play 16th game

N.B. Tables correct as of midday on 05/11/14

N.B.B. Our 94th minute equaliser against Birmingham arrests the double leapfrog and a share of second place.

The most surprising stat for me is that none of the top 6 has profited at the death. The last 5 plus injury time has also kept the table conspicuously tighter than it otherwise would have been - providing players and management staff were all kept in the dark over the rule change until the referee inexplicably blew mid-play that is, then had periodic bouts of amnesia before every succeeding match; for it is of course true that the mentality of both sides almost inevitably alters as a game trundles or hurries towards its conclusion, with this shifting dynamic probably accounting for a good chunk of the dropped / gained points on display.

Yet for every Birmingham or Forest there is also a Blackburn and, whilst I unfortunately lacked both the time and the enthusiasm to unfurl every match report so as to distinguish between these two types of heartache and how readily they've occurred, be assured that both are represented in full. .

My table's been squished!!
[Post edited 5 Nov 2014 14:19]
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A thread about broccoli
at 23:40 3 Nov 2014

No way of sexing this one up and respect if you even made it this far, but today I learned of a terrible crime towards Broccoli that warrants a Panorama meets TWTD exposé of its own.

Broccoli stalks! Up and down the country households are discarding en masse the humble stump, in some cases before they've even left the store sadly (broken Britain or just Tesco extra?). Watching someone manhandle half the basket before mauling three or four to get the 'best' florets is a pretty off-putting exercise I'm not gonna lie, as is the slightly more socially acceptable but still frowned upon ripping off whole broccoli head to then return the slowly rotting remainder back to the pile. Not only are these people physically repulsing all those around them, however, but they're also committing probably the greatest of all the vegetable facepalms.

For it's the best bloody bit of course! Peel with paring knife, gnaw it raw or enjoy sliced with hummus (as part of a balanced vegetable platter preferably). Whatever your signature, don't let the hidden cherry of the cabbage world go unloved and uneaten ever again.
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Hammer Time!
at 21:43 2 Nov 2014

Double points looking close to be a non-issue at this rate, car failure / crash aside.
[Post edited 2 Nov 2014 23:06]
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The FA beginning to make FIFA look positively progressive!
at 12:27 29 Oct 2014

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/29810908

Only a four month suspension for assuring that a woman will never referee a game while he's in charge, with the BBC furthermore of the 'understanding' that he will consider appealing over harsh treatment. And this alongside the antediluvian remarks of Scudamore and Elleray just a couple of months back, which of course resulted in no charges to either but rather the sacking of Edward Lord for voicing his concerns on the matter.

Beggars belief really doesn't it.
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Homeland
at 21:24 26 Oct 2014

Is anyone still watching? ....................................................................................................

Had assumed Brody's death marked the end of the show but evidently not!
[Post edited 26 Oct 2014 21:26]
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No subject
at 18:35 26 Oct 2014

[Post edited 26 Oct 2014 18:38]
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Paying the rotund..
at 10:14 23 Oct 2014

for their services to Mr Kipling and Mr Artois - can't surely happen, can it?

Do appreciate obesity is often correlated with troubled mental health, poor nutritional upbringing and what-not, with the cries of 'eat less and move about a bit more' sometimes missing the root cause of the problem (of course equally often it is just poor self-control, little concern for one's physical health and overemphasis on food as the provider of joy let's face it).

So all for providing additional education and support to help the larger than life community reduce that ratio, but actually paying them to do so seems like a carrot or five too far for me!

Financially punishing adults that irresponsibly allow or encourage their dependent children to reach such desperately large levels on the other hand...
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Football League Show Thoughts: The Contenders
at 10:12 19 Oct 2014

Saw I think my third of the season last night and couldn't help but be impressed by Watford again; fluidity of movement and passing style really top notch for this level. Based on what I've seen at least, I'm currently regarding them as all but cemented for a minimum top 6 finish (the mockers have now been applied, let the rails come off).

Anyone a more regular viewer? Have you identified another team whose consistent high standard of play has made almost certain in your mind the chalking off of another slot, or maybe you've signed off on five of the six berths already based on what you've seen each week? Have Forest just been unlucky in their ever increasing 'winless' run, and are the Boro actually flattering to deceive in their continued march northwards?

Is a genuine Chelsea of the Championship starting to emerge, or are we all still more West Ham's in disguise at this stage of the season?
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What must Kidderminster be putting in their pies!
at 01:21 15 Oct 2014

At least we're middling I suppose, much kudos to Weds, Derby and Newcastle among others - oh to have been born in a different area of the country / another one altogether!
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Our international lumps and bumps
at 16:47 13 Oct 2014

Not noticed too much chat related to these on the forum.

Anyone know yet if we're looking at a decent sized lay-off for any of them? As importantly are Christophe's strepsils doing the trick?

Would be gutted to see Murphs or Jonny on the sidelines for any length of time, just as the winning ingredients are all coming to the party.
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No subject
at 16:00 5 Oct 2014

[Post edited 5 Oct 2014 16:14]
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And another one goes begging!
at 13:19 1 Sep 2014

First Falcao and now Stuart Beavon, when will Evans wake up and realise we're being left behind by all corners of the Football League?

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How intriguing! p.s. COYB for the second half!
at 16:07 30 Aug 2014

Firstly, if Golders does leave for the figure reported then it's quite the inflated fee for my money. Certainly an excellent player for this level but I'm not sure he's a man Leicester need and particularly for that price tag.

His seemingly imminent departure, alongside that of Cresswell at the beginning of the summer, does of course demonstrate in painful clarity our aspirations for this season. An especially unpleasant transfer window sandwich to digest for those that tentatively invested in their season tickets several months ago, but one that could prove rather more palatable come next June - providing we remain in the division of course!

I picture a future in which at least a third of the league is hamstrung by poor financial records and subsequent transfer bans, while the majority of the remainder grapple with imposing wage bill targets and little prospect of adding meaningfully to their already menacingly overspent squads. Lost within this wilderness of blackness sits one small beacon of light, hitherto untouched by the iniquities of its malevolent brothers.

Yet lost and small it shall remain no more; for Thrift and Good Faith have finally received their rewards, Recklessness and Impudence their just desserts. Yes, Ipswich Town are now financially secure and the competition is comparatively poor. Major Mick presides over a war chest to the battle cry of circa. eight million pounds, certainly sufficient to bolster an already functional squad under the new terms of FFP combat. By the autumn of 2016 we finally have a squad capable of competing once again for the more coveted positions.

Alternatively the FFP January crunch proves a damp squib, the money received for both Cressy and Golders never materialises and the new dawn of summer 2015 doesn't have Bryan Adams writing a follow-up after all! Intriguing times I'm sure we can all agree
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