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The Final Front Ear (Spock) Iron Maiden parody lyrics
at 15:57 22 Jun 2025

US music humour site Amiright no longer publish submissions, so I'm posting here - For those of a Trekkie disposition, have a chuckle!

to The Final Frontier by Iron Maiden 2010

https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=DJQHFfA5mVs&si=CEscKATmvKRSoy7q

Can see in his face, reflections of space
Can hear fifty per-cent better than me
Frontiersmen have come & frontiersmen go
Davy Crockett 'fore me or so legend goes

He's some form of life, but not as we know
Half human & Vulcan points your ears
He bids you long life & prosper again
Illogical, fascinating friends

For I have been asked of Mr Spock
He's how many ears?
Either side of his head & a third on his face where
There's a space for...

The final front ear
The final front ear
The final front ear
The final front ear

Can see in his face, reflections of space
Can hear fifty per-cent better than me
Frontiersmen have come & frontiersmen go
Davy Crockett 'fore me or so legend goes

For I have been asked of Mr Spock
He's how many ears?
Either side of his head & a third on his face where
There is a space for...

The final front ear
The final front ear
The final front ear
The final front ear

He's some form of life, but not as we know
Being human & Vulcan points your ears
He bids you long life & prosper again
Illogical & fascinating his friends

For I have been asked of Mr Spock
He's how many ears?
Either side of his head & a third on his face where
There is a space for...

The final front ear
The final front ear
The final front ear
The final front ear

The final front ear
The final front ear
The final front ear
The final front ear

The final front ear
The final front ear
The final front ear
The final front ear

(22.6.25) Van S A'Parody
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White Room by Cream - parody lyrics: Wet Room
at 13:42 1 Jun 2025

US music humour site Amiright no longer publishing submissions, so I'll post here - have a chuckle!

to White Room by Cream 1968

https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=xGxhECBbw08&si=kQP8HRC4id6trkf0

In a wet room, plastic curtains, much more spacious
On a door hangs a white gown of terry towelling

Soapy water runs down walls of white, not dark tiles
All white tiles, realising my contentment

I'll bathe in this place, in my shower slippers
Bathe in this place, where there's flannels, soap on them shelves

No room to swing cats, you want some-thing more spacious
Near the toilet, white-out blinds up at thy windows

I walked into a cathedral, much more spacious
As I washed I felt my own wee just beginning

I'll wash down my leg, where the drain's the floor
Ablutions, where there's flannels, soap on them shelves

At the party, kind of warming for the wet room
Celebration! the old bathroom, now forgotten

Sloping floor drains bubbles over white, not dark tiles
After washing, wear my gown of terry towelling

I'll clean in this place & dry on a towel
Dry my fat arms, where there's flannels, soap on them shelves

(31.5.25) Van S A'Parody
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Magic Man by Heart (Tommy Cooper)
at 12:33 26 May 2025

US music humour site Amiright are no longer publishing submissions, so I'm posting here, have a chuckle!

to Magic Man by Heart 1975

https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=AZTo3iJng7U&si=fSGR9eMqwil4-kyo

Bored one night so long ago
Tryin' to find a TV show
A funny man came to me
In a red fez that threw me

...well, I could not turn away it seemed
My eyes were glued upon the screen
Laughter ran through me, "Glass/Bottle" blew me away

"Pick a card, sir" he said with a smile
"You don't have to tell me, this blindfolded duck'll try"
& try to understand, try to understand
Try, try, try to understand, he's a magic man

Jar of glass, a dessert spoon
Then, said he "Spoon/Jar, Jar/Spoon"
"Pull it" by the tether, let this spell last forever

His audiences, near & far
To the wings "...wait in the car"
Audience are worried, "Just Like That" was ushered, yeah

"Pick a card, sir" well, he said with a smile
"No, you don't have to tell me yet, blindfolded duck'll try"
& try to understand, try to understand
Try, try, try to understand, he's a magic man "Bag/Egg", ah
He's a magic man

"Pick a card, sir" he said with a smile
"No, you don't have to tell me yet, blindfolded duck'll try"
& try to understand, try to understand
Oh, oh, try, try to understand,
try, try, try to understand,
He's a magic man, oh yeah, ooh, he's got them massive hands

Oh (x4)

"Pick a card, sir" he said with a smile
"You don't have to tell me, this blindfolded duck'll try"
& try to understand, try to understand
Try, try, try to understand, he's a magic man, yeah, oh!

(26.5.25) Van S A'Parody

...& accompanying artwork...

https://photos.app.goo.gl/aeceX9xUeqYpRLp18
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All the Young Dudes by Mott the Hoople parody lyrics
at 23:18 22 May 2025

US music humour site Amiright are no longer publishing submissions, so I'm posting here, have a chuckle!

to All The Young Dudes by Mott the Hoople 1970

https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=2jqyWI9Au-M&si=6yzfocDgeUGZj3xT

Well Gary flapped all night about his coming flight
How he'd lead a flying V for many thousand miles
Speed jive, don't want to stay in flight
For so many miles

& when he steals a march on larks in parks
& ready or not he's taking off, he starts to migrate
Really thinks he's so great

Television chefs are crazy shovin' their food down our delicate necks
Darwin you see, says he, we once were T Rex

Young Ryan, oh yes
Have a gander

All you young dudes (Goslings!)
Gary the Goose (Where are ya)
Gaggle o' dudes (Stand up, come on)
Gary the Goose

All you young dudes (I wanna hear you)
Gary the Goose (I wanna see you)
Gaggle o' dudes (& I wanna talk to you, all of you)
Gary the Goose

Now Amy's so sweet, she's the mother of the geese
Now we can Fly Away Home it's a real dream team
Yes we can love, oh yes we can love

Then my brother sounds a honk like he's farting in the fog
We've really had enough of Van singin' in his car
What a drag, too many bads

Now I'm really scared of heights & I'm sick of flyin'
Wanna lay my head to rest
Oh is this eider in your down
Or is it in your bed

(Your... pillow, I meant)

All you young dudes (Goslings!)
Gary the Goose (Where are ya)
Gaggle o' dudes (Stand up)
Gary the Goose

All you young dudes (I wanna hear ya)
Gary the Goose (I wanna see you)
Gaggle o' dudes (& I wanna relate to you)
Gary the Goose

All you young dudes (Goslings!)
Gary the Goose (Let's hear the Goose, come on)
Gaggle o' dudes (I wanna keep you)
Gary the Goose

All you young dudes (Hey you there, eatin' grasses)
Gary the Goose (I want you)
Gaggle o' dudes (I want you at the front)
Gary the Goose (Now, now you all his friends)

All you young dudes (Now you bring him down cos I want him)
Gary the Goose
Gaggle o' dudes (I want him right here, bring him, come on)
Gary the Goose (Bring him, here you go)

All you young dudes (I've wanted to do this for years)
Gary the Goose (There you go)
Gaggle o' dudes (How do you feel)
Gary the Goose

(22.5.25) Van S A'Parody

& accompanying artwork...

https://photos.app.goo.gl/sn2UaUTsehSSBtNH7
[Post edited 8 Jun 10:24]
Forum
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On this day in history...
at 09:08 20 May 2025

1981

Mick Mills lifts the UEFA Cup

COYFB'ssssss!!!!!!!
Forum
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Substitute by the Who parody lyrics
at 18:26 16 May 2025

Unfortunately, US music humour site Amiright are not taking any more submissions, so I'm posting here... have a chuckle!

to Substitute by The Who 1965

https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=uMf2xFG0fJs&si=4JtZIrppBhEtYe1e

You think you look pretty good together
But what's it like up there, the weather?

A super substitute for another guy
Oh look, cross a ball, gets up really high
A simple game to play, it ain't complicated
Look pretty long, cos he's elongated, yeah

Substitute: some height - attack!
He can drift right through your centre backs
His teeth so white, thirteen on his back
Sublime super sub til Teddy Sheringham's back

He was born with a wooden spoon up his @rse
Crouchin' Tiger, Hidden Dragon
his gifts, they ain't so obvious

& if you try to look him in the eye
His Peter Crouch teeth are what you'll spy
Listen, when he comes on, won't have to cry
Your bet rolls on to him, don't pass it by, pass it by

Substitute: me for him
Substitute: Sub d'Or, his bib!
Substitute: pod, cast 'Big One'
At least you'll get your washing done

A super substitute for another guy
Oh look, cross a ball, gets up really high
A simple game to play, it ain't complicated
He looks pretty long, cos he's elongated, yeah

He was born with a wooden spoon up his @rse
Crouchin' Tiger, Hidden Dragon
his gifts, they ain't so obvious

& if you try to look him in the eye
His Peter Crouch teeth are what you'll spy
Listen, when he comes on, won't have to cry
Your bet rolls on to him, don't pass it by, pass it by

Substitute: me for him
Substitute: Sub d'Or, his bib!
Substitute: pod, cast 'Big One'
At least you'll get your washing done

Substitute: some height - attack!
He can drift right through your centre backs
His teeth so white, thirteen on his back
Sublime super sub til Teddy Sheringham's back

(14.5.25) Van S A'Parody

...& accompanying artwork...

https://photos.app.goo.gl/As9JesWGwUVHPkwF8
[Post edited 29 Jun 15:58]
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Thread
Hit Me With Your Pet Shark parody lyrics
at 10:34 18 Apr 2025

to Hit Me With Your Best Shot by Pat Benatar 1980

https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=JRD80XRMT7s&si=2_NXBQaY_rNJ4fhW

A Planet Rock radio DJ often intro's this as "Hit Me With Your Pet Shark", so I did these lyrics...
(US music humour site Amiright no longer publishing submissions, hence full lyrics here) Have a chuckle!

I know some real tough collies love your leg in their teeth
'cos meetin' people's pets is like jeopardy
Cats okay, dogs: see why they do it
You gotta what? Let's see you prove it

Hit me with your pet shark
Why don't you hit me with your pet shark
Hit me with your pet shark
No way - yes, way!

Oh, come off of it, come on
You don't play fair
'cos that's no snake, nor a hamster
Knock me down, a bathroom tank
I get right back upon your porcelain

Hit me with your pet shark
Why don't you hit me with your pet shark
Hit me with your pet shark
No way - yes, way!

I know some real tough collies love your leg in their teeth
'cos meetin' people's pets is like jeopardy
Before you take another snap of my dipstick face
You better make sure that Feargal's locked in, safe

Hit me with your pet shark
C'mon, hit me with your pet shark
Hit me with your pet shark
No way - yes, way!

Hit me with your pet shark
You really hit me with your pet shark
Hit me with your pet shark
No way - yes, way!

(17.4.25) Van S A'Parody
[Post edited 8 Jun 9:47]
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Refugee by Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers parody lyrics
at 10:26 10 Apr 2025

See original, then my effort at alternative/parody lyrics (US music humour site Amiright no longer publishing/taking submissions) - have a chuckle!

https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=YbWDV72oQlo&si=Gdptr0YubPN-DLXW

(to Refugee by Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers 1979)

(So wanna live like a) Refugee

We got problems, we all know it
Inflatable beached, air let out it
Lefty lawyers crying "Human Rights"
Somehow, they get around it

Listen, put you up four star luxury, maybe
Money for nothin', house is for free
You see, I so want to live like a refugee
(So wanna live like a refugee)

Thrown off towers
Singled out for just, oh, "being so handsome"(?)
Tell me why your wife stayed there
'n' travel: kids you abandon?

Listen, put you up four star luxury, maybe
Money for nothin' & your house is for free
You see, I so want to live like a refugee
(So wanna live like a refugee)

Not maybe, I so want to live like a refugee
(So wanna live like a refugee)
Oh!

Natives, we ain't the first
...priority, what other country is worse?
If your kids got placed in school, well, it's
...hard to believe these "boys" are sittin' there, too

Thrown off towers
Singled out for just, oh, "being so handsome"(?)
Who knows, why your wife & kids stayed there & you ran away
You're a coward, and some

Listen, put you up four star luxury, maybe
Money for nothin' & your house is for free
You see, I so want to live like a refugee
(So wanna live like a refugee)

Oh, I so want to live like a refugee
(So wanna live like a refugee)
Oh, I so want to live like a refugee
(So wanna live like a refugee) oh, oh, oh!

(4.4.25) Van S A'Parody
[Post edited 8 Jun 10:14]
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I did another song!
at 14:01 28 Feb 2025

Partly inspired by the thread re favourite non league team, on which I regailed the story of my un-used sub appearance for Boreham Wood v Watford in the 1988 Herts Senior Cup Final at Vicarage Road & the state of the sand covered pitch that eve!

I've immortalised that in this song!

Link is to US music humour site Amiright who've published my parody lyrics to Elton John "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road" which of course becomes "Goodbye Vicarage Road"

(some will be very pleased to hear, Amiright is no longer publishing new submissions as of today, so this is my 74th & final song on their site!)

Have a chuckle!

http://www.amiright.com/parody/70s/eltonjohn519.shtml
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I did another song
at 12:56 14 Feb 2025

Metallica's Master of Puppets

...becomes Plaster of Muppets

with references to Holy Grail's Black Knight 'tis but a scratch & Hancock's armful & I just had to get Terry Butcher in there, to show how to just get on, rather than the sort of muppet who runs to mummy!

Link is to US music humour site Amiright & the above mentioned lyrics, have a chuckle!

http://www.amiright.com/parody/80s/metallica110.shtml
[Post edited 14 Feb 12:58]
Forum
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On this day 1974...
at 11:15 2 Feb 2025

Ipswich 7-0 Soton

Could have done with borrowing a few of those yesterday
Forum
Thread
50 years ago today...
at 08:30 25 Jan 2025

Mick Mills scored the only goal in a win...

v Liverpool

COYB's!
Forum
Thread
On This Day...
at 07:48 13 Jan 2025

Jan 13th 1969...

The great man became our manager
Forum
Thread
On This Day 1978...
at 08:19 30 Dec 2024

Our biggest home win over Chelsea 5-1

That's a good omen

COYB's!!!!
Forum
Thread
On This Day...
at 10:16 29 Dec 2024

2001

Finidi George goal v Sunderland

Our 4th, in a 5-0!


Forum
Thread
I did another song
at 12:56 13 Dec 2024

Link is to US music humour site Amiright who publish song parody lyrics
This time, it's Disturbed's superbly moody version of Simon & Garfunkel's "The Sound of Silence"

http://www.amiright.com/parody/2010s/disturbed3.shtml
Forum
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Farmers' protests in London today...
at 13:31 11 Dec 2024

Any tractor boys gone?

Tell me, has Citizen Khan waived the Congestion Charge?
Forum
Thread
I did another song
at 13:09 6 Dec 2024

A "battle of the sexes'" theory.

Link is to US music humour site Amiright who've published "Shave Your Legs"
to AC/DC "Shake a Leg"

Have a chuckle!

http://www.amiright.com/parody/80s/acdc138.shtml
[Post edited 6 Dec 2024 13:09]
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Thread
Dark Arts
at 13:10 2 Dec 2024

The first question we need to ask ourselves is:

Do we want to stay in the Premier League?

I'll make a leap here, & assume the answer to that is "yes"!

So, rather than bemoan our luck as the season progresses in the hope these things will "even themselves out over the season", is it time for us to employ the dark arts?

I think we should start diving & cheating to win pens & deliberately play right on the verge of offside & let VAR continue to make mistakes

Let's be pro-active in this

I now no longer care if we gain a reputation for diving/cheating if it keeps us up
Better than being relegated bemoaning our luck all the way to the end of the season, cos it just isn't going to even itself out, is it?

COYB's!
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I did a new song
at 13:15 22 Nov 2024

Link is to US music humour site Amiright who publish parody lyrics

Christina Perri "Jar of Hearts" becomes...

http://www.amiright.com/parody/2010s/christinaperri10.shtml

Have a chuckle!
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