Koumpounophobia to be precise and my wife has this too. Most famous Koumpounophobic was Steve Jobs which inspired his work on touch screen phones. Anyone else got unusual phobias that may make them millions - or not?
In Virusland, the recently crowned King Covid the 19th has just returned back to Bacteringham Palace after walking his pet pangolin. He is feeling very smug indeed. He was recently elected as King of Virusland on a manifesto of infecting every door handle, suitcase handle, theatre seat armrest and toilet roll holder on earth. "Look at them. Idiots" he proclaimed to his closest courtiers Auntie Flu, Mr and MisSars and his bessie mate Ollie (Mers). "They are stockpiling toilet rolls and I never even get into their bowels. That more your territory" He directed this at the visiting dignatories Lord e-coli and Lady Salmonella from the neighbouring state of GutRot. Auntie Flu. Mr and MisSars and Ollie has a grudging admiration for King Covid. He was doing what they had tried and failed to do in the past. "Yes indeed" spluttered Ollie. You could say that buying bog rolls has become infectious. Much like you your highness!". King Covid sniggered and his snigger became a phlegmy cough and he covered his courtiers in glorious gelatinous green germs. Flu, Ollie and SARS touched their mouths, noses and faces in ecstasy and wiped themselves on every surface close by. "BUT!" barked King Covid, with streams of snotty virus hanging like slimy stalagtites from each of his facial orifices "there is more to do. I must get myself into every cruise ship, every parliament, every airport and every hospital on earth. I must defeat the Covid-deniers or Trumpeters as I call them. I shall become the most virulent virus ever know to woman, man, bacteria or pangolin!" And with that he fell back on to his throne and took his own temperature. "42 degrees" he declared deliriously. "42, the answer to life, the universe and everything." His courtiers cheered "Yahu". OLLIE cheered "Wuha". "Now leave me" prescribed King Covid "Go and practice mutating". After that he got out his tablet and checked the latest league table. "Excellent" He sneezed with pride. "I've always wanted to get to Sri Lanka, and now I have!"
A colleague who worked for Cambridge when Elliott and Norris were there says Elliott is a lovely bloke, better than he thinks he is so needs more belief but a bit prone to injuries which affected his confidence. Norris is a real quality keeper who will definitely give Holy a challenge. Held back bý others at Wolves.
Naturally the Poet Laureate of League Management Paul Lambert would go for him From the goalie called Holy, to a player called Mayor, to a forward called Norwood. Classic route one goal. Now all we need is a Ball. Hold on, weren't we linked with him?
Here is where I am. I'm Not sure whether to be excited or scared by the guy at the helm at Portman Road. I liked Mick. I felt safe. It was frustrating but we were never going to go down. He produced mini-miracles on a micro-budget. But it was a sort of a relief when it all came to the end. It was time for change. New man Paul was sold as something of a modern Mick and I expected he would have to operate under the same rules as Mick did. We didn't need to change too much. We finished mid table, we had lots of promising young players and had found goalscorers in Garner and Waghorn. We had lots of promising youngsters, some old familiar reliables and we were all back together. But First there came performance technology, then came Barts contract, then we got an idea of where he was coming from, a young premier loan (Chalobah) and some promising lower league prospects who performed well last season (Roberts, Edwards and Harrison) Some of these were actually bought with money. Pre season friendlies were a mix of old, new and youngsters and the style was as Paul promised - pressing high, building from the back. First game proper and the plan goes a bit awry. It's not so easy to play that style in a hustle busily Championship game but we all knew it was going to take time.
Now one game in and we are faced with the prospect of a match day squad with 10 new players! It is possible we will go into the game with 5 players who were playing in D2 last year, 2 from D1 and 2 who have never really played above under 23 level at all.
Is this the work of a genius who has seen unrealised potential in lower leagues and has a master plan to build a super team or Is it a kid in a sweet shop saying "I want one of those two of those and yes two of those Accrington too." "But you already have three of those". " Please daddy Marcus!" " Oh alright then but you will have to throw away a couple of old favourites first."
I have to admit that I didn't want Waggy to go. I liked him, his attitude, his set play skills, his goal celebrations. I can see that the money gives Paul as opportunity to continue his spree to create HIS team. Perhaps that's it? It doesn't feel like my team anymore. I worry for our young guns. Will they get a look in now that it's Pauls team. We were excited by Dozza, Woolfie, Downsie, Nydam, Morris but will they ever get a game in Pauls team?
So where am l? Excited? Kind off. Worried? Definitely. I desperately want to be part of Pauls team too but .. There always seems to be a but. Does anyone else feel like this too?