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Anyone with any tips for Newmarket races tonight?
at 09:06 21 Jun 2019

I know nothing!
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Simon Mayo confessions
at 18:04 5 Apr 2019

I was reading a few at lunch time and I nearly wet myself reading this

Apologies to any animal lovers and vegans


Dear Simon,
I grew up in the North Staffordshire countryside. Unfortunately for reasons I won't bore you with I had to move to a town about fifteen miles away. I still kept in touch with a good friend of mine called Paul, and occasionally we'd visit each other. This confession dates from 1990 when we were twenty and had just discovered the delights of clay pigeon shooting. I would drive to his house, we'd pack the equipment in the back of the car and then we'd drive off to find a farmer who'd let us use his land. Most of them were very friendly, almost always allowing us to use one of their fields. We usually had to perform some small favour in exchange. This usually involved taking out a few crows instead of clay pigeons.
Unfortunately, neither of the two farmers who usually let us use their land was able to on this particular Saturday afternoon, so we went slightly further afield.
We'd once visited a farmer by the name of Johnston and remembering him to be a friendly old chap, we decided that he'd be worth a try. I was elected spokesman. After parking the car at the front of the house, I knocked on his door. Eventually he answered, and after I explained what we wanted he asked me in. He explained that his horse was very ill, and needed putting down. He didn't want to pay for a vet, and he couldn't face doing it himself. He said he'd let us use his land if I shot his horse. He just gave me the directions to the stables at the back.
As I opened the door I saw Paul leaning on the bonnet of the car with his broken rifle cradled in his right arm. He looked so relaxed I decided to shake him up a bit.
I stalked over to the car, snatched up my rifle, loaded it and walked purposefully in the direction of the stables. 'What's up, Ian?' Paul asked jumping to his feet.
'The unreasonable elderly gent has denied us permission to use his land.' I replied (although not using those words). Paul followed me. Once we reached the stables I instantly saw the sickly looking grey, and walked over to it.
'I know', I said, 'Let's teach him a lesson. Let's shoot his horse.'
With that, I shot the poor beast. It was quick, clean and painless. Paul's face was a picture of horror. Suddenly, before I had a chance to explain, or even laugh at his expression, the expression changed to something very unpleasant.
'Yeah!' he shouted, 'Let's kill his bull as well!'
Before I could stop him, he spun round and shot the bull, who was looking over his door to see what was going on. There was a vaguely bovine moan followed by the sound of several tonnes of prime beef hitting the floor of a stable.
There was only one course of action to follow: run, very quickly. We dived into the car and sped off.
Once safely back home, I told Paul what had really happened. After he'd calmed down, we decided to become ex-clay pigeon shooters.
We'd just like to apologise to Mr Johnston for murdering his bull, and hope both he and you can find it in your hearts to forgive us.
Ian
Forum
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7 months off the booze now
at 10:05 4 Apr 2019

I've started having a few non alcoholic beers when I go out so that I can feel included, but wow do I feel good about it.
#crackedit

Just need to get over my ITFC depression and then life is great.
Forum
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Has Lucan has been selling fireworks to the schools?
at 22:49 7 Jan 2019

Forum
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Happy new year peeps
at 21:43 31 Dec 2018

Let’s hope for a Miraculous 2019. If not then up the Town wherever we may be.
Best of health to you all.
Forum
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form table looks good
at 12:53 17 Dec 2018

And ahead of the scum

https://www.twtd.co.uk/league-tables/competition:championship/form/matches:1/typ
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Alan Partridge has been transfered to BBC Bristol
at 09:45 28 Nov 2018

Local Radio at its best
https://soundcloud.com/little-hannah-co/bristol-bbc-radio-hahahhahaahahahah?fbcl
Forum
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Ipswich players as Brexiteers
at 13:00 15 Nov 2018

I'll start. Jacob Rees- Mogga
Forum
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Can anyone recomend someone/business that can do damp course locally
at 15:28 5 Nov 2018

I've just had a survey done on my house and it needs sorting and I've agreed with the buyer that I will pay for it.
Does anyone have a rough idea what a 2 bed semi will cost? It's just low level damp but the house is over 500 years old.
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Look at Me. 2 months alcohol free
at 07:42 1 Nov 2018

I’ve had my problems with the booze, but I think I’ve finally smashed it. I honestly don’t think I’ll ever have a drink again.
1st month was really hard but now I feel amazing.
Wooo.
Forum
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Leicester owners helicopter has crashed out side
at 22:08 27 Oct 2018

The stadium
Feck
https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/news.sky.com/story/amp/helicopter-crash-outside-l
Forum
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Stop the Lambert moaning
at 19:54 25 Oct 2018

The alternatives were Holloway or Sherwood.
FFFT
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trying to get tickets for the Millwall game for a few people
at 12:45 5 Oct 2018

But we need one more membership number. Would anyone on here be so kind as to let me use their membership to purchase 1 more ticket.


Cheers
Sticky
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Driving in Norfolk
at 13:40 12 Sep 2018

This is on the Attleborough roundabout.
I reckon the bloke has just found out his Dad is round his house with his wife.
[Post edited 12 Sep 2018 13:42]
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Aretha RIP
at 15:15 16 Aug 2018

xx
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Anyone built their own house?
at 09:58 15 Aug 2018

I'm thinking of going for it. I've found a plot with planning and drawings for a three bed.
I would have a build budget of 150k. I'm just wondering if anyone has any experience and am I dreaming with that budget or will I end up with a half built house?
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Bug ger
at 15:05 14 Jul 2018

N to the T
Forum
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This feeling is incredible
at 16:26 11 Jul 2018

I haven't had it since the playoff final. I can't sit still.
For loyal fans of clubs like Ipswich, who realistically will very rarely see their club in a semi final/final it's everything.
Really chuffed for the young fans like Rommers and Sitters who were too young for 2000 and not around for 1990.
ICH
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