| No subject 11:22 - Aug 31 with 21760 views | ipswich78 |
[Post edited 21 Jul 2021 13:10]
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| How do you deal with a bigoted parent? on 12:43 - Aug 31 with 4869 views | Swansea_Blue |
| How do you deal with a bigoted parent? on 12:32 - Aug 31 by Burwell_Blue |
*in your opinion* - I think its key to respect all opinions and views despite them not being identical to your own. |
I don't think it is: there has to be a line where racist/sexist/hateful opinions shouldn't be accepted, but challenged. Where that line is is open to debate, but I'd certainly like to think people like Katie Hopkins is on the wrong side of it.
To the OP it's a difficult one. My old man's getting a lot more intolerant with age, although age may not be the main issue. He's got much worse since my mum died and he's immersed himself in the Daily Mail to the point he just regurgitates the outrage verbatim. His worldview these days is shaped by the rag and that crosses into his everyday behaviour - everything couched in negative state-of-the-nation terms. It's very waring. Nothing to be done about it though - I've learnt it's best to ignore and try to distract him when he goes on a rant. |  |
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| How do you deal with a bigoted parent? on 12:44 - Aug 31 with 4866 views | PJH |
| How do you deal with a bigoted parent? on 12:23 - Aug 31 by Ryorry |
I'm about the same age as you, and agree - for our generation it was a matter of the person you are within that is the deciding factor. I hope everyone on here knows that I abhor racism, but my late brother (2 years older than me) worked on Rhodesian railways in the early 70s, and some of the racist things he said in letters home to my Mum utterly shocked and grieved me - so bad that I can't bring myself to mention any examples on here.
My late mother's generation a very different matter though - she'd have been 92 now and grew up in an era where mindsets were completely different, and racism, sadly, was institutional and accepted. |
My Mum is now 92 and although I do not think that she is directly racist sometimes she says things that make me cringe because of the racist tone-something like "The Doctor was black but he was nice" as if a black person could not be nice.
I do think the age thing for this could be applied to people 20 or so years older than you and I but not applied to people of our age. |  | | |
| How do you deal with a bigoted parent? on 12:45 - Aug 31 with 4864 views | Darth_Koont |
Not sure you can - or need to.
Sounds very similar to me and my Dad. He's one of my best friends and I love spending time with him but we're different on these and most political questions. That's based on us coming from different generations and having different life experiences.
We do learn from each other - indirectly at least. But that's because we're both fundamentally open people who respond to empirical evidence. For my part, I've understood the value of and need for a capitalist, entrepreneurial outlook as an engine for making lives better, and I think he understands that the world's challenges can't be solved by slavishly following this single ideology or any other one-track thinking. He's certainly embraced the whole climate change evidence as a reason to have a more nuanced and balanced approach.
We also agree that May and her government are a complete and utter shambles  |  |
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| How do you deal with a bigoted parent? on 12:57 - Aug 31 with 4828 views | jaykay |
i beg to differ that he a product of a less enlightened age. i think most of my generation were bought up at the start of the enlightened age.like i said if their posts are anything to go by alot of the generation below us mid to late 60s, are just as bigoted.
i dont include taximan or his mates in my generation.
i think this country has come a long way since the generation before me.
thank heavens for p.c. it taken a lot of stick over the years,but has helped us alot. |  |
| forensic experts say footers and spruces fingerprints were not found at the scene after the weekends rows |
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| How do you deal with a bigoted parent? on 13:01 - Aug 31 with 4807 views | tcblue |
I would say the one thing we youngsters (cough) can ALL do is do our best to ensure our loved elders aren't taking all they read in the Daily Mail / Express / etc as irrefutable truth.
I'm not even talking so much about the bigotry or even the hate which they can spread - more the tidy line in alarmist fear mongering that they spread. I used to visit an elderly neighbour and just glance at their Daily Express headlines - utterly terrifying if you took them at face value (which they did, they didn't ever want to understand the internet, much less accept that the media has morphed into this monstrous abortion of printed click bait). |  | | |
| How do you deal with a bigoted parent? on 13:05 - Aug 31 with 4787 views | Burwell_Blue |
| How do you deal with a bigoted parent? on 12:40 - Aug 31 by Mullet |
Can you give me a good example of a deep rooted bigoted view about race, immigration, sexual preferences that are good? |
I don't need to. I did say you don't have to agree with them, however it is important to allow others to have views that do not match your own.
What good will come from disassociating yourself from your parents in the fine chapter of their lives, god forbid OP, just because they share a different view, one which they are fully entitled to in this free democracy? |  | | |
| How do you deal with a bigoted parent? on 13:07 - Aug 31 with 4780 views | Benters |
| How do you deal with a bigoted parent? on 12:06 - Aug 31 by hype313 |
Your dad's Benters? |
Balls .
I do like the sound of him though. |  |
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| How do you deal with a bigoted parent? on 13:09 - Aug 31 with 4765 views | tcblue |
| How do you deal with a bigoted parent? on 13:05 - Aug 31 by Burwell_Blue |
I don't need to. I did say you don't have to agree with them, however it is important to allow others to have views that do not match your own.
What good will come from disassociating yourself from your parents in the fine chapter of their lives, god forbid OP, just because they share a different view, one which they are fully entitled to in this free democracy? |
Nobody's suggesting that, homeslice. But it was right to call you out on respecting *all* views, that's a tremendously slippery slope (and isn't realistic). | | | |
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| How do you deal with a bigoted parent? on 13:11 - Aug 31 with 4752 views | GlasgowBlue |
As somebody to be mocked and laughed at? |  |
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| How do you deal with a bigoted parent? on 13:13 - Aug 31 with 4759 views | Mullet |
| How do you deal with a bigoted parent? on 13:05 - Aug 31 by Burwell_Blue |
I don't need to. I did say you don't have to agree with them, however it is important to allow others to have views that do not match your own.
What good will come from disassociating yourself from your parents in the fine chapter of their lives, god forbid OP, just because they share a different view, one which they are fully entitled to in this free democracy? |
You said these views have to be respected. So which ones are worth respecting exactly? Why?
Who mentioned "disassociation" at all? No one is suggesting that or that they are not free to hold them.
The notion that they are views which are subjectively correct, let alone deserve respect is simply nonsense isn't it? Hence why you're so keen to chuck a load of tangents out there presumably. |  |
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| How do you deal with a bigoted parent? on 13:16 - Aug 31 with 4732 views | Benters |
I thought he was great ! | |
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| How do you deal with a bigoted parent? on 13:17 - Aug 31 with 4726 views | Burwell_Blue |
| How do you deal with a bigoted parent? on 13:13 - Aug 31 by Mullet |
You said these views have to be respected. So which ones are worth respecting exactly? Why?
Who mentioned "disassociation" at all? No one is suggesting that or that they are not free to hold them.
The notion that they are views which are subjectively correct, let alone deserve respect is simply nonsense isn't it? Hence why you're so keen to chuck a load of tangents out there presumably. |
If they are my fathers views, I respect his right to hold them. Right or wrong. | | | |
| How do you deal with a bigoted parent? on 13:21 - Aug 31 with 4703 views | Mullet |
| How do you deal with a bigoted parent? on 13:17 - Aug 31 by Burwell_Blue |
If they are my fathers views, I respect his right to hold them. Right or wrong. |
Again nothing like what I said is it? Which views that are racist, bigoted etc. are correct and makes people right to hold them? Especially because there are millions of them? | |
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| How do you deal with a bigoted parent? on 13:27 - Aug 31 with 4686 views | BergholtBru |
People have a right to hold what views they like. We`ll soon be shopping our parents to the thought police if they dare to utter something we don`t consider "acceptable. How "Orwellian". Ffs just accept other people have differing views and get on with life!! |  |
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| How do you deal with a bigoted parent? on 13:28 - Aug 31 with 4677 views | Vic |
"Dad, I think we both know how we feel about these things! Lets not go there again - I really don;t like to argue with you. Now, about that new loan signing at town - what do you think of him?"
Something like that maybe? |  |
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| How do you deal with a bigoted parent? on 13:33 - Aug 31 with 4659 views | Bluearmy71 |
I think that you are better off to focus on the positive of this as opposed to the negative of trying to deal with his views, as others have said just don't enter into a convo on the subject matter fore you are never going to change his mind on anything, so no point in going over the same old ground!
The positive you can take from this is that his views have not in any way shape or form influenced how you see people and maybe the world in general! His views were embedded into him by his father and so on and so on so the seed had been planted, many people obviously do not have the strength of character that you possesse to see that he is in the wrong.
It is the above generational "seed planting" is why it will be virtually impossible to stamp out racism completely because there will always be the few that believe that their parent is right in all things or they just try to gain the parents love and respect by going along with the way dad or mum say and do things.
Like I said "Take heart" from this and just don't entertain any subject that will cause you both to get heated. |  | | |
| How do you deal with a bigoted parent? on 13:34 - Aug 31 with 4653 views | solemio |
| How do you deal with a bigoted parent? on 13:16 - Aug 31 by Benters |
I thought he was great ! |
I've had to sit down to recover. The shock and astonishment of finding that you thought Alf Garnett was great was just too much for me.
Five letter responses only, please. | | | |
| How do you deal with a bigoted parent? on 13:36 - Aug 31 with 4639 views | PJH |
| How do you deal with a bigoted parent? on 13:16 - Aug 31 by Benters |
I thought he was great ! |
I didn't think you liked West Ham supporters. [Post edited 31 Aug 2017 13:38]
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| How do you deal with a bigoted parent? on 13:37 - Aug 31 with 4628 views | Vic |
| How do you deal with a bigoted parent? on 12:31 - Aug 31 by jaykay |
i agree with others on here ,age has nothing to do with it.i am 68 and hate bigotry. althou i dislike some people of all races,but has nothing to do with their colour etc. i think you will find there is a lot of people on here who dont come into my and yours dads generation,who are bigoted.
reading your post ,surprised he is on facebook.
you are a shining example of someone who has formed his own mind and views and not being led by others |
"you are a shining example of someone who has formed his own mind and views and not being led by others"
Are you saying that people today think for themselves and are not affected by popular opinion or the trends of the day.
I wonder what people will say in 50 years time about the 20 somethings of today!
I don't think many people are genuinely free thinkers - the vast, vast majority are influenced by our upbringing, education and experiences. All of which are affected by other people. I think we should be very careful about assuming that the beliefs of society today are right and will stand the test of time. History suggests that the next generation or two will see things very differently to us - it's always been that way and I see no reason why it will change. | |
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| How do you deal with a bigoted parent? on 13:41 - Aug 31 with 4614 views | GunnsAirkick |
I think that sort of ignorance you described in your second paragraph comes from living in a rural area a lot of the time, I've come across similar a lot in the countryside but perhaps not quite that level of bigotry that often.
can only think of one person I've known who would say something that bad, my Sister's ex and he is only in his early 30's which makes it even worse.
I agree with your last bit, you kind of have to let it wash over you a bit, I think a lot of the time these comments are made from an ignorant standpoint and get normalised.
Unless they're a full on Nazi or something you have to let some things slide, as you say it doesn't define the person as a whole. |  | | |
| How do you deal with a bigoted parent? on 13:42 - Aug 31 with 4609 views | chicoazul |
| How do you deal with a bigoted parent? on 12:42 - Aug 31 by GlasgowBlue |
Is he bigoted? Or is he just a product of a less enlightened age?
I would imagine that in a couple of generations time nobody will hold the views on race and sexual preference that your dad does.
Rather than give him a hard time, love him and spend as many pleasurable hours as you can with him. Because one day he won't be there. |
It's not hard is it. Some people amaze me. |  |
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| How do you deal with a bigoted parent? on 13:44 - Aug 31 with 4601 views | Vic |
| How do you deal with a bigoted parent? on 13:13 - Aug 31 by Mullet |
You said these views have to be respected. So which ones are worth respecting exactly? Why?
Who mentioned "disassociation" at all? No one is suggesting that or that they are not free to hold them.
The notion that they are views which are subjectively correct, let alone deserve respect is simply nonsense isn't it? Hence why you're so keen to chuck a load of tangents out there presumably. |
Mullers - if the definition of a bigot is 'A person who is intolerant towards those holding different opinions' (English Oxford living dictionary) then at risk of being controversial, you're sounding dangerously near to being bigoted yourself!
Why is it that so often the people who are bigoted are those who don't agree with us! | |
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| How do you deal with a bigoted parent? on 13:44 - Aug 31 with 4600 views | BergholtBru |
| How do you deal with a bigoted parent? on 13:34 - Aug 31 by solemio |
I've had to sit down to recover. The shock and astonishment of finding that you thought Alf Garnett was great was just too much for me.
Five letter responses only, please. |
I thought the sit com was great and Warren Mitchell played the part well. Doesn`t mean to say AG was a great example of how to behave. The joke always ended up on him in most, if not all, episodes when he was made to look stupid. I think the series did more to show others how stupid a man he was and how not to be than any amount of PC social engineering. Which tends to turn people the other way. | |
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| How do you deal with a bigoted parent? on 13:46 - Aug 31 with 4595 views | GunnsAirkick |
| How do you deal with a bigoted parent? on 11:39 - Aug 31 by trncbluearmy |
Thinking of him as bigoted does not help, he just may have a point about some things,not everything is fine and dandy about the world we live in now.
The sixties and seventies were a great time to grow up,harder, maybe not as fair,but then again people did not get offended and look to be offended by everything
like your signature by the way, so very true |
There is some truth to some of this too.
I'm a left wing, liberal type bloke but there are some people who get offended on the behalf of others so much it becomes offensive in itself!
As an example my friend (who is a white, middle class woman) has started using the term "people/person of colour" as she claims "black" is offensive to black people.
I know this is a load of s**te, my cousin is black and hates the term "people/person of colour" and finds it more offensive that a middle class white person would think he's so brittle that he'd be offended by being referred to as black. [Post edited 31 Aug 2017 13:46]
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| How do you deal with a bigoted parent? on 13:49 - Aug 31 with 4592 views | BlueBadger |
| How do you deal with a bigoted parent? on 13:27 - Aug 31 by BergholtBru |
People have a right to hold what views they like. We`ll soon be shopping our parents to the thought police if they dare to utter something we don`t consider "acceptable. How "Orwellian". Ffs just accept other people have differing views and get on with life!! |
I don't think he's thinking about that, he just wants his old man to be bit less of a cock around him. Asking for a bit of basic manners don't seem unreasonable. [Post edited 31 Aug 2017 18:47]
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