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I bought a fan some 10 years ago but have never really used it. I got it out of the cupboard, dusted it down and turned it to 1. Nice breeze. Hmmmm. Setting 2 is a bit 50 mph motorbike with no helmet wind through your hair. I wonder what setting 3 is like? I'm in the far corner of the room with everything else that wasn't nailed down. It's gale force and I expect my electricity meter is charging me 10p per minute. I've spotted the knife and fork from last nights meal and I intend to use them as ice picks to traverse the floor towards the on/off switch. Wish me luck.
Don't believe a word I say. I'm only kidding. Or am I?