| Righty ho....The Warky Report - Derby County (A) 17:54 - Apr 2 with 1548 views | Warkystache |
Hello to all my regular readers - sorry it's been so long.
Bombshell to start - I've lost more weight. The walks, the diet tweaks, the adherence to a lesser alcohol God, one whom lets me enjoy 0.5% Ghost Ship and the odd glass of Doctor Loosen Riesling at 8% per bottle without the nagging hungover Sunday morn, or the gurgling belly and thumping head. I worship at a different altar. Mine is that of a near 50-year old man (well, 49 in a few weeks) and I congregate with the ghosts of a dissolute, lovelorn past.
A visit to my GP for a 'friendly' Wellman clinic, just restarted since he took two years off following Covid to ostensibly play golf, saw blood test results analysed with the sort of pessimism and shake of the head I witnessed from Town fans following that long-ago home defeat by Lincoln City. My Luongo and Broadhead and Hirst was my liver result, which showed not only a fatness usually revered by regular online meat diners, but also the beginnings of something called hepatic intolerance. Apparently, that's bad.
So it was mineral water, banning bread and excess carbs, a fridge veg tray which finally lived up to the title and the contents regularly consumed rather than left to wilt and turn brown and then lobbed with unconcern in my green food bin.
Walks are now longer, although nonetheless enjoyable. I bought a small pair of binoculars on a little lanyard which I wear round my neck. They bang against the chest and you need an engineering degree to focus them, true, but I can now identify those brief brown flashes in the drizzle as fauna. The fact they don't stop long enough to do a quick portrait for me is something I'm still getting the hang of.
Paula contacts me infrequently, usually at the end of the middle of the month when she's low on funds and needs a 'loan', sometimes to ask how I am. She's seeing someone else, some bloke from work, a fellow manager and divorcee. She hasn't met his kids yet. They're talking about moving in together. I wished her well. Strangely without rancour or regret. Guilt still though. It should've worked. Perhaps it was me? Perhaps it was always me?
Tel is moving on Friday 28th April. He had a letter from his Estate Agents confirming that the occupants of the house in Halstead will be out by the 26th. The people who take over the bungalow in Dovercourt are going in on the following Tuesday 2nd May. "You'll like 'em" he mentioned to me as we met in the pub last Friday, he sneering and snorting when I ordered a 0.5% Ghost Ship. "Bofe retired, 'e used ter work fer that shippin' firm in Felixstowe yer see them crates forrem, L S D or summink. She's an ex-teacher, English I fink. They're turning the fird bedroom into a lib'ary. Gawd knars wot our 'ouse'll look like when they've finished, bleedin' leftie bumfest I reckon".
He spends a lot of time in Halstead at the house, popping in to 'measure up like' and staying for a cup of tea and a chat with the current owners, who also come from near his neck of the woods in Harold Hill. "Well, not 'Arry 'Ill, more sorta Romford. Still, nice people. Used ter live in Newham. E's a few years older than 'er, probly second marridge. E's called Dave an' she's Lesley". The intricacies of the lives of people I've never met and am never likely to either seem to consume him in these last North Essex knockings.
He's already invited me to the housewarming party in May. The invitation was written on a card with a sad-looking dog on it. It presumptively (and somewhat optimistically) said "Bar-B-Q". Just hope we're having better weather by then.
"We've invited Paula" he told me, as though lobbing a grenade and then shrinking back as the words exited, expecting a refusal or a furrow of my brow. Fine, I said. He peered at me, slightly disappointed, like a small child watching a failed firework. "Wot, yer don' mind like?". No. I'd have expected him to. As long as you haven't extended it to her mum, I joked and he smiled a toothy grin and patted me on the forearm. "Nah, we aint bleedin' sadists". We clinked glasses and then drank up and went for a valedictory curry, one of the last ones we're likely to manage as he's in Braintree next weekend and then he's packing for the move.
He can't make Wycombe on Friday. I was glad I never bothered getting the spare ticket for him. "Braintree innit?" he said with a grin. "She's 'avin' a shoppin' day wiv Sandy in London an' then Tone an' I are meetin' 'em for a dinner at some place 'e booked called 'Awk Moor' or summink. Good steaks so Tone reckons". He reached for his poppadoms and the metal tray of chutneys and onion. "Still, nuffink beats a ruby in 'ere, eh?". He became misty-eyed, so I changed the subject back to Halstead.
I came back to his at eleven. "Decent brandy" he slurred as the taxi came. Mrs Tel met us at the door, gave me a hug and a kiss, scented nicely in Anais Anais and bumming ciggies off me which we smoked gleefully, like kids behind the bike shed at school, in the back garden patio area. It started raining so we pulled the awning up and switched off the heaters. She was clad in a new 'Sex Pistols' yellow T-Shirt with the 'Never Mind the B*llocks' logo writ large. The album was yellow, wasn't it? She wore tight-ish grey jogging pants and a pair of Skechers slip-ons, black with a silver trim. She looked happy. Tel think she's mentally tuned out of the area now they're definitely leaving. I'll miss her, but not as much as she probably deserves.
I left, pie-eyed at one a.m. Tel gave me the rest of his unopened brandy and I protested but he insisted. "Got a few new ones ordered an' we're takin' 'em to Braintree next week". I thanked him and then got into the cab holding the clinking bag and waved bye bye to them both. It's not the last time. I'm going there on the weekend we play Peterborough away for the final farewell and a chinese takeaway. He might be coming to the Charlton home game on the 15th. I say 'might'. He is coming. Last look at Portman Road as a Harwich resident before he leaves for pastures new and all that. He mentioned getting a season-ticket with me if we get promoted. I think he might as well. This isn't the end of my erstwhile former newsagent, at least not on these pages.
And so yesterday. Job day, then a drive to Huntingdon to meet Helen, my new girlfriend. I had the Derby game on BBC Suffolk when I left at three-thirty to make the hour and a half drive. We were winning 1-0. I switched off to take a hands-free call from Hels and when I remembered to switch back on, just as I was passing the Cambridge turn-off, it was nearly full-time and we were winning 2-0. Get in. I did that strange celebration as the traffic queued briefly after Cambridge and got funny looks from the people in the fast lane who were also crawling past.
I would tell you about Helen, truly I would, but Paula taught me a lesson and I fear I'll jinx it. She's incredibly right is all I'll say for now. No pressure.
Onwards and (I think now) upwards. Wycombe at home is a tricky one, as is Posh away and Barnsleh away. Still, we're hitting the heights after eight unbeaten and none conceded since early February. This is feeling very 1992ish all over again. I just hope I don't rip a hole in my Joe Bloggs jeans like I did at Oxford all those years ago. Bloody fences.....
Take care
Warky xxx
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| Righty ho....The Warky Report - Derby County (A) on 18:43 - Apr 2 with 1364 views | TalkingBlues |
Well, well, where did Helen pop up from all of a sudden? You old dog you, hope all goes well and pleased to hear that tel moving won't put an end to your meet ups, just give a slightly different look to them and a more expensive cab, lol. |  |
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| Righty ho....The Warky Report - Derby County (A) on 19:00 - Apr 2 with 1310 views | The_Romford_Blue |
The Towen won. The scum lost. Sheff Wed dropped points. Plymouth likely took a confidence knock. And now Tel is getting a season ticket and will remain in our lives.
These Are The Days. |  |
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| Righty ho....The Warky Report - Derby County (A) on 19:10 - Apr 2 with 1251 views | Westover |
Pleased you have a new lady in your life and wish you well.👠|  | | |
| Righty ho....The Warky Report - Derby County (A) on 18:59 - Apr 9 with 630 views | BanksterDebtSlave |
Bit late to finding this one....must have been lost in post Derby euphoria!!
Sounds like a new you....don't forget us. Miss Slave says she needs her fix xxx |  |
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